Mistakes and Their Owners
".........OneShot! Nub3rs/CM crossover (im writing this cause ive never wrote a crossover before, and it sounds like fun!) i hope it doesnt suck! please r&r!........."
SSA Dr. Spencer Reid knew he should be thrilled- the case was over, and Hotch had allowed them to stay in Las Angelos for a while longer. Reid had been shocked when the mathematician, Pro. Charlie Epps , showeed up to help. He had never known the FBI to let outsiders help, but Charlie was a rare case. He used his skills in math to figure out where the UnSub was located, and even what had pushed him into committing these crimes.
Charlie had stopped Reid on his way to out the FBI doors, and asked to talk to him. Although Reid wanted to decline, he found it extremely difficult to do so. He didn't know what, but there was definitely something odd about Charlie, but he assumed people must have said the same about him.
This was Reid's first case since the case with Adam/Amanada (an UnSub who suffered with split personality, and when became Amanda, was a killer. Amanda eventually took over Adam's life, and Reid refused to give up on Adam, and wouldn't stop until he was back.), and it had been a difficult one. Reid couldn't stop thinking about Adam, or Tobias. It seemed like when he wasn't thinking about one of them, he thought about the other one. It was driving him insane, and was starting to affect his work. He knew he wasn't okay, and he knew he needed to talk to someone about it, but he knew he wouldn't.
Charlie talked a bit on the walk to the local coffee shop, but Reid was too distracted to absorb any of his words. He ws trying not to break down in frustration right there in front of Charlie, and it was harder than he thought it would be. The whole ordeal with Adam had brought back thoughts of Tobias, and the thoughts of Tobias brought back thoughts of dialudid.
"Reid? Are you okay? You've been awfully quiet, and I know that your last case struck some nerves. Do you want to talk about it?" Charlie asked with concern. Hotch had warned Charlie that Reid had been acting weird lately, and had informed him about both Tobias and Amanda. Charlie was shocked that Reid hadn't broke down already. He knew that if he had been in Reid's shoes, he wouldn't be able to handle it on his own, like Hotch had said Reid did.
They both had stopped walking by now, and Reid was just staring blankly into space. "I'm.........sorry..........wh-what?" Reid stuttered. He leaned against the brick wall, and had his hands underneath his head.
"I asked you if you were okay..........but I think it's kinda clear that you aren't." Charlie concluded. "Reid, what's wrong?"
Reid sighed, and closed his eyes. "I can't............'' he paused. "I can't stop making mistakes. I got too personally attached to Adam,because I couldn't stop thinking of Tobias. Tobias? He saved my life. It was Raphael and Charles who wanted to kill me. And........and when I figured out that Adam was Amanda? I just..........just........" Reid stuttered. He bowed his head, trying to hide his tears. Unfortunately, Charlie noticed that,too.
Charlie frowned, and came closer to Reid. "Reid, you didn't screw up. This wasn't your fault. Did you asked to be kidnapped by Tobias? Did you ask Amanda to take over Adam? Did you ask to have to deal with the outcome of all this? No, it just happened. There are just some things you can't control." he said gently.
Reid shook his head. "But I should have tried." he whispered through his tears. " I did try , but I failed. And now? Adam might never exist again." Reid started crying louder, and harder. Charlie gently took Reid's shoulders, and grasped him in a hug. "No, Reid. It's not your fault. This would've happened with or without you." he comforted. Reid returned the hug, and then they both let go.
Reid sniffled. "Wow. You must think I'm pathetic. Breaking down like this? It's not like me. I..........I tend to keep to myself." he wiped away his tears.
"Yeah, I could tell.I figured you were more of a private person.'' Charlie smiled. "Are you alright?" he asked Reid.
"This..............this isn't something I'll get over fast. It'll take some time. But..........I guess I'm better." he lied. In fact, he was feeling worse. Now, he knew that he would never get over this, and he would never let Amanda live Adam's life. But he knew if he told Charlie this, he would never leave him alone.
Charlie smiled a bit wider. "Good to hear." Reid responded with a fake smile. "So, how about we go get some coffee?"
With that, they were both walking again. "Um........no thanks. I.........I'm a little tired now. I think I'll just head back to my hotel." Reid prompted.
"Are you sure? I mean, we could go back to my place........" he offered.
"Um............no. That's okay. It's kinda weird for me sleeping at someone else's house." he lied again.
"Oh, okay. Well then, I hope you get some sleep." Charlie gave in, letting Reid go, although he thought it was a bad idea.
"Thanks. Bye Charlie." he spun around to the direction of the hotel.
"Oh wait!" Charlie yelled. He started walking towards Reid again, with a peice of paper in his hand. "Here, call me if you ever need to talk." he smile.
Reid took the card. "Thanks. I really do appericate that."
Charlie nodded. "Yeah, it's nice knowing you have someone to turn to if you need to talk. Bye Reid."
"Thanks, bye Charlie." Reid turned around and headed back to his hotel room.........
The Hotel Room
Reid threw his messenger bag on the floor, and collapsed on his bed. He wasn't a bit tired, but he needed to get away from the world for a while. He reached for the remote on the bedside table, and turned on an unfamiliar show. He didn't plan on actually watching it, so he didn't bother searching for another show.
He knew he had one vial and a few needles on hAmita at the moment. He had no idea why he took them, but he did. Reid wasn't sure if he was thinking sanely when he did, because now the temptation to use it was more than he could handle. He didn't want to become addicted again, and he didn't want the vial of dilaudid in his grasp. He wasn't sure if he could handle throwing it away -or maybe throwing it against a wall- without trying some first.
Reid knew after a few minutes of staring at the vial, he wouldn't be able to turn it down- he craved it too badly. He tried to think of a reasonable thing todo, but could only think of calling a friend. He wasn't sure if he wanted the BAU team to know he kept a few vials, so he decided to call Charlie. He quickly grabbed his cell phone and the card with Charlie's number on it, and dialed the number.......
Charlie's House
Charlie had just gotten home from the cafe. Amita and Larry had been with him, but the university had called them both for help with an experiment gone wrong with the freshmen.
Don was on the couch watching sports, and Charlie was in the kitchen grabbing two beers for the big game. Once he had the drinks, he walked into the living room, and sat down on the couch next to his older brother.
''Hey Don? Do you think, um, Reid was acting a bit strange?" he asked shly.
Don looked at Charlie with a curious gaze. "The tall smart guy?" Charlie nodded. "I was thinking the same thing. Hotch told me he had a rough time on their last case, and it was a bit personal for him. He probably was just a little freaked about it. Why do you ask?" he asked.
"Did Hotch tell you about Tobias?" Charlie asked. Don shook his head no, so he explained to Don what had happened.
"Wow.......that's gotta be hard to deal with. That explains why he was freaked after their last case with Adam. Poor kid's dealt with a lot- and he's younger that you!" Don exclaimed. "But that's not why you asked, is it?" Charlie didn't answer. Don turned the TV off, and directed his full attention to his little brother.
"What's wrong, Charlie?" he asked.
Charlie sighed, then looked at his brother. "Reid seemed a little tensed after the case, so I offered to go get coffee with him. I didn't think he would, but he did. When we were walking? He was really quiet, and he turned really pale. I figured he was upset, and asked him if he wanted to talk. He was reluctant, but he did. He told me he kept on making mistakes, and talked a bit about Tobias and Amanda- or Adam. I told him it wasn't his fault, and asked him if he believed me, and he said yes, but it was obvious he didn't mean it. And......he didn't look alright, and he told me he was going to get some sleep, but he didn't look tired. I think that he might be in trouble............" his voice trailed off after his rush of words.
"What are you going to do about it? it's obvious something serious is wrong, and I know that you won't let this go." Don asked.
As if planned, Charlie's cell phone rang. "That's weird." he mumbled.
Don looked at Charlie's phone. "What's weird?" he asked.
Charlie showed him his caller id. "It's Reid."
"Hello?" he asked when he answered the phone.
"Charlie." Reid cried. It was evident that he was crying.
"Reid? What's wrong? Why are you crying?" he got up from his seat, and Don mimicked the movement.
"Please..............can-can you come he-here?" Reid choked out.
"Yeah, yeah, sure. Where are you?" he asked.
"The-the hotel on 5-5th street and Mound."
"Okay. I'll be there soon." Charlie said.
"Please hurry." he started crying harder.
"Okay Reid. Just hold on." The line on the other side went dead.
As Charlie grabbed his keys, Don asked, "What's going on?"
"I was right- Reid's in trouble." he said in a rush.
"Wait- what kind of trouble? Is he okay?" he questioned.
"I have no idea. He just told me to come over, and he was crying. I'm sorry to ruin game night, but I've gotta go." Charlie ran out the door..............
Reid's Hotel room
Reid didn't think he could resist much longer. It was just too much for him to resist. He grabbed the vial in his already shaking hand and stuck the needle through the top of it. Once the dilaudid was in the needle, he poked his skin with it until he found a vein. Once he found one, he released the liquid.
The ground below seemed to be moving, and the room was spinning. He couldn't see anything, and he felt his legs collaspe beneath couldn't feel anything but pure bliss. It wasn't until that moment did he realize how much of it he took- over two doses.
Although he could barley make out his surroundings anymore he could hear knocking on the door.
"Reid? REID!" Charlie yelled.
No answer.
"REID! ANSWER THE DOOR!" he yelled louder. Charlie knew something was wrong, and he knew he had to get in there. He jiggled the door knob, and it finally opened.
Charlie saw Reid on the floor, and immediately dialed 911.......................
A Nearby Hospital
Charlie was worried sick about Reid. He saw the vials and the needles on the floor, and knew exactly what happened- an overdose on dilaudid.
He had been so worried, he forgot to call Don. He decided he should before he got suspicious, and/or started a search party.
"Don." he answered.
"Hey, Don. I'm at the hospital. It turns out Reid became addicted to diladid after the Tobias case, and he kept a few vials of it after he got himself off it. When he called? That was because he had them with him, and he was trying not to use it. When I came there, I called for him, and he didn't answer. The door was unlocked, so I came in. I found Reid passed out on the floor, with vials of dilaudid and needles on the ground. He had accidentally overdosed." he explained.
"Reid? I thought he was smarter than that! Wait, didn't that one UnSub drug him? Is that what this is about?" he asked.
"Yeah. Tobias drugged him, and then he had an addiction problem. He got off it, but I guess he couldn't take it anymore. Face it- he's been through more than you and me combined! I'm shocked he's still sane!" Charlie tried to defend Reid, and he was finding it fairly easy ,too.
"I know...............how old is he?" Don asked.
"Um.........27?" he thought. "Yeah, 27."
"Wow, poor kid." Don said. "Would it be alright if I came over?"
"Um, sure, I guess.'' Charlie said.
"Okay, I'll be there soon. Bye Charlie."
"Bye Don."
Reid's Hospital Room
The BAU team had just left. Although they were all mad at him, none of them blamed him for what he did. He had dealt with so much, and remained unbroken. Reid had promised them all he was getting rid of the remaining vials, and Morgan volunteered to help Reid do that. Reid agreed to the help, because he wasn't sure how much he could trust himself.
Charlie entered the hospital room, along with his brother, Don. Reid looked truly pained in his hospital bed, and his pale skin looked even more pale against the thin paper hospital gown.
"I'm sorry........I wasn't strong enough." Reid whispered. His eyes were puffy, and still dilated. His hair was a bit messy, and he looked as if he was trying not to cry.
"Reid, I don't know what to say. I understand you didn't start using on your own, but I also understand that you could've told someone about this, and gotten some help. I..... I just don't know what to say. I'm not mad at you, but I'm not thrilled at what you did, either.'' Charlie said. Reid looked down, and it was now evident he was crying.
"Reid, I'm sorry. But this isn't exactly an easy situation, either." Charlie tried to comfort.
Reid shook his head. "No.........it-it's not that. It's just that.......I don't understand. I'm suppose to know practically everything! And I-I can't figure this out. I-it just doesn't make sense." he choked out.
"What doesn't make sense?" Don asked.
Reid didn't answer, which made both Charlie and Don nervous that Reid was still hiding something.
"Reid, please answer. I'm getting really scared here." Charlie begged.
"The dilaudid? It-it got me in some other trouble...........'' Reid trailed off.
"Like what?" Don asked, curious and concerned at the same time.
''Um.......one day we had a really tough case, and I had been clean for four months. I guess I had been really quiet, and withdrawn, so Hotch asked me if something was wrong. I told him that it had been a rough case, and that I was a little freaked over it. He asked if I wanted some company that night, and I said no. Well, that was a huge mistake." Reid whispered.
"I couldn't sleep, so I took a walk. And when I was on that walk? I ran in to my old drug dealer. He-he asked me if I had quit, and I said yes. That alone was a mistake. Apparently, that had upset him. I was one of his last "costumers", and ever since I left? Everyone else had left,too. He-he said I still owed him, for never squealing on me, and that he wanted to be paid back. And before I knew it? He had me pinned on the ground, and was hitting me. He said that I was useless, and just another addict- that I was just like the rest of them. He-he hit me, and punched, and kicked me over and over again. He told me he wouldn't stop until........" Reid's voice cracked, and light tears grew larger down his cheeks.
"Reid, what?" Don pressed on. Charlie wanted to encourage Reid, too, but was too afraid to say anything.
"He.......he said he wouldn't st-stop until I was dead. Bu-but fortunately, Morgan had been following me the whole time, but had lost me for a few minutes when I turned. I'm not sure if he knew it was me at first, but even if he didn't, he stopped the dealer. He-he threw him off me, and cuffed him. I-I was bleeding pretty badly, and he told me not to move, so I didn't.
"He called an ambulance, and he asked me if I were okay. I couldn't say anything, but I tried to nod. I-I don't know what I would've done if Morgan wasn't there, but he was, so I didn't dwell on that. He stayed with me until he was sure I was okay, and made me sleep at his place. He promised not to tell anyone about this, and he ever did..........." Reid stopped.
"Reid, I'm sorry..............." Charlie said
"Is that what you're confused about?" Don asked. "Why this keeps happening to you?"
Reid shook his head, signaling yes. He was still crying, but they were light tears.
Don paced to Reid's bed, and kneeled down next to him. "Reid, this isn't your fault. It may seem like it, or it may seem like someone's trying to hurt you, but there's no one there. Like the monster under your bed? It doesn't exist. Why this keeps happening? I don't know. But you have to understand this isn't your fault.'' Don said.
Reid wanted to believe him, but he wasn't sure if he did.
"Reid, can I trust that you won't do this again?" he asked.
Reid shook his head yes. "Yeah, you can trust me. I-I want it gone. I don't ever want to see it again." he added.
"Good." Don smiled. There was something in the way Reid said that- a certain tone in his voice- that made him believe that.
Charlie noticed that Reid kept closing his eyes, and that he looked really tired. "Do you want us to leave, so you can get some sleep?" Charlie asked.
"Sure.............'' Reid said, tiredly
Charlie and Don both got up, and walked to the door.
"Alright. Call me if you need to talk." Charlie said.
"Okay........."
"Bye, Reid'' both Charlie and Don said, but Reid was already sleeping..........
The Next Morning
Reid had been checked out of the hospital, and had agreed to go for a walk with Charlie.
"So, do you think you're going to be okay?" Charlie asked Reid again.
Reid laughed, getting really annoyed with that question. Everyone had been asking him that, and every time time, he said yes. "For the millionth time, yes!" he laughed.
Charlie joined the laughter. ''Just making sure."
"Um........I guess I owe you a thank you, for saving my life." Reid added, now being serious.
"Ah, no. That's okay. You would've done the same thing if it were me." Charlie said,smiling.
Reid's phone starting ringing, alerting him he had gotten a text message. He picked up his phone, and found it was from JJ. They had gotten an earlier flight, and they were leaving an a half an hour.
"Crap." Reid mumbled.
"What?" Charlie asked.
"That was JJ. We have to leave in half an hour, and I haven't packed yet." Reid announced, sounded bitterly annoyed.
"Well, I guess that means it's time for us to go our seperate ways..........''
"Yeah, I gess so." Reid sighed. He had gotten little sleep, and was still exhausted.
"Thanks for everything, really. I...........I don't know where I'd be right now if it weren't for you......." he added.
"No problem, just remember to call me." They both stopped walking.
"I won't." Reid smiled.
"Well, until next time?" Charlie asked.
"Until next time." he agreed.
With that, the young genius's went their separate ways..........
The BAU Jet
Everyone was pretty much quiet the whole flight. Although the other members were thought when they looked at Reid worriedly he didn't know, he was quite aware of their glances. He didn't mind, thought. He knew they were just worried.
Reid thought about what Don had told him, and how he wished he could believe him. But he didn't - this was all his fault. He promised himself that he wouldn't dwell on that, though.
Reid closed his eyes, and let the blank darkness of his own dreams overtake him, as he tried to forget about every evil thing that exsisted. He wasn't quite sure if he could,though. Because everywhere he went, evil was sure to follow.
And then the blissful darkness overtook Reid, and he could no longer think about all those horrible things........
"........................whoa! that took a WHOLE different turn than i had expected!!!! i really truly hope this didn't suck cause i was kinda making it up as i went along.......please r&r! even if its just 2 tell me it sucked!!!!!!"