Somebody to Love
Opening Notes: Hello all! It seems like I'm trying to make up for lost time here (ie the impromptu hiatus I took for - eek! Months) by banging out whatever pops into my head whenever I can. To tell you the truth I had the idea for this fic in my head even before I wrote/finished 'Personal Guardian,' after seeing an episode of "So you Think you Can Dance" where they performed to this. Speaking of which - to follow this better, GO AND READ 'PERSONAL GUARIDAN FIRST! Things would make a bit more sense that way ^_^ And if you can find it, you tube that episode of SYTYCD! If I get un-lazy I may do it myself and put a link to it in my profile…
So of course, I realized AFTER I had 'finished' this and was about to put it up that I had given sexes to the angels. Why change it? Because angels are not supposed to have sexes- Sora refers to Riku as 'he' because that's how he sees his guardian. It was also a big part as to why Riku had no sexual desire/took no part in Sora's longing. There was nothing there to get up, nor anything there to get moist 8D YAY TMI!
Disclaimers: They make us put this here as torture, don't they? D: Not. Mine.
Warnings: Yaoi (male/male love-romantic situations) and uh, pain?
Other: The song I had playing for this is "Somebody to Love" by Queen (you tube it if you don't know it - it fits!)
"I need you to make me human."
The head honcho of the 'Distribution and Research of Guardians Headquarters' arched a dark brow, looking up from where there had been several files of new guardians. Leon was the name the anger was addressed as though those who have crossed paths with the brunet knew the other as Squall, with anger as swift and sharp as a rabid storm. The brunet had the mark of a high-ranking angel, wings the colors of a stormy evening sky to match vivid gray eyes. Eyes that were currently fixed on the frustrated Riku.
"What?" Surely the angel couldn't have heard correctly.
"I need you to make me human." No. Of course. Riku never joked around or stuttered when it came to anything but Leon knew that something was different with the younger angel.
Mind flickering back to Riku's file Leon mentally skimmed through it, pulling the name of Riku's current charge from it. "This has to do with Sora." It wasn't a question and Leon already knew what the answer was.
"Of course this is about Sora! He's all I think about - all I know." The silver-haired angel's wings were twitching and fluttering in agitation though somehow the pale body remained still, hands pressing flat over Leon's desk before curling into fists. "I've been a guardian for over two thousand years and I've never felt this way about any of my charges - ever."
Leon studied the agitated figure for a long moment before slowly closing the file that had been opened moment earlier, arms raising to rest bent elbows on top of the desk and lacing long fingers together. Leon watched Riku over interlocked fingers, wings draped in a relaxed fashion over the back of a low-backed chair.
"Riku, how many charges have you had?"
Though silver brows creased in confusion Riku answered instantly. ".Sixty-seven."
"And how many of those have you been with since birth?"
A flicker of understanding flashed in aquarium-green eyes though when Riku started to protest Leon gave a hard look, the guardian blowing out a sigh of frustration. "Twenty-six, including Sora."
"Including Sora," Leon agreed, nodding slightly. "And - without Sora - how many of those charges have been able to see you?"
Riku was torn between frustration and anguish, wings twitching as the drooped slightly. "None."
"None," Leon repeated, voice annoyingly calm and placating to the younger guardian. "Including the ones you were put on assignment for?"
"…None."
"None as well." Unlacing long fingers Leon turned one palm upwards, shaking a head of thick, brunet head slightly. "So you see why I'm not jumping up to heed your demand, do you not?"
Aquamarine eyes flashed as Riku pressed forward, a fist hitting the table. "That has nothing to do with it! Sora is the most important thing to me and always has been!" Forcing a steadying breath Riku let it out in a determined huff, gaze focused on Leon's narrowing eyes. "He's miserable without me."
"Just as you are without him." The brunet didn't sound moved in the least and Riku felt frustration rising within once again. Of all the angels the young one had expected to understand Leon was thought to be best; then again, the stoic angel had chosen duty over matters of the heart.
Changing tactics Riku took another deep breath, gaze pleading. "Leon, please. You're the only elder I know who would be willing to speak for me and after Cloud-"
"He has nothing to do with this." The words were spoken low but were sharp as a thunderclap, the set in the older angel's jaw alerting Riku to the dangerous territory being treaded upon. It was Squall dealing with matter now.
"He was able to see you, too, wasn't he?" Riku pressed softly, heart skipping nervously. Though Riku was a new-world guardian the younger angel had been around when Leon had taken on a case personally with a human named Cloud. The human was also able to see angels.
Demons, as well.
"What happened with Cloud was a mistake," Riku continued when the brunet didn't interrupt, watching the long fingers curl into each other until it looked like Leon was clutching them together in desperate prayer. "I don't want the same to happen to Sora."
"You have no idea of what happened with Cloud," Leon snapped but it sounded tired, more of a automatic response than a need to start or end an argument. "It was my own fault that things ended that way." Leon flinched as smooth fingers met clutched ones, looking up to see Riku fixing his 'boss' with a sympathetic look. "Stop that. It is not suited for you."
"You know now what could have been done to save him," Riku said quietly, putting one hand over Leon's joint ones to squeeze. "Will you not assist me in my endeavor?"
The pair sat still for a long, quiet moment, gray fixed on green. After some time there was a touch of smirk at the corners of Leon's lips, shoulders relaxing. "You must be desperate if you have fallen back into formal speech."
Riku laughed lightly. "Is it not obvious?"
Shaking his head Leon dropped his hands, pushing back out of the low chair. "I suppose I cannot fault you for your determination," the brunet said slowly, seeing the younger angel tense out of the corner of his eye. "I will go talk with the Superiors - you will be contacted."
Letting out a breath the silver haired angel didn't realize he was holding Riku nodded gratefully, a smile with a mix of relief and nervousness tugging at pale lips. "Thank you, Leon. You have no idea what this means to me."
Studying Riku the older angel shook a dark head slightly. "I know all too well," came the quiet response, gray eyes reflecting the pain of the one that had been lost. It was quickly pushed aside, Leon straightening. "I cannot tell you how long it might take. They have no concept of time and it's possible that a century will slip by before they give their verdict. I will mention the fleetingness of mortal life but until then, tend to your ward."
"Yes, Superior." Turning away Riku slipped out of the office and into the hall, unaware of the angels moving about. Riku had more important matters to tend to.
"Sora! Pay attention!"
Bright blue eyes blinked in surprise as two fingers were snapped in front of his face, startling him out of his daze. He was at his part time job at the local coffee shop and didn't notice the line up of people forming around the counter, waiting to have their drinks made.
"Ugh, sorry Dem," the brunet said sheepishly to the flustered looking cashier who only shook his head and tended to another couple. Sora was absent-minded but had a way to charm most customers, even the rather disgruntled ones. Of course, not everyone could be won over.
"It's about time! I've been waiting for five full minutes!" A older gentleman with dark-rimmed glasses took his drink in a huff. "I want my money back!"
Sora put on his best smile. "I'm really sorry about that, sir. If you just wait a moment I can get my manager-"
"Why isn't the manager out here?" Sora sighed to himself as his gaze flickered to the other waiting customers, most of them glaring at the older man for holding up their drinks further. "Hey! Pay attention to me!"
It was the only warning Sora got before an open cup of peach tea was thrown in his face, startling a gasp out of the brunet and a few out of the store's patrons. Sora just stood there, cold liquid oozing down his shirt and into his hair as the man, apparently satisfied, stormed out of the store. Demyx was at his side almost instantly, cursing under his breath as he used a towel to wipe at Sora's face.
"Geez, man! What a dick!" His words were angry but low enough not to be heard over the murmurs of the customers. "Here, take this and go clean up - the till's empty so I can finish up orders."
Sora closed his eyes as the blonde wiped at his face, heaving a sigh before reaching up to take the towel himself. "Thanks, Dem." Sora was given a smile and light shove towards the restrooms and he moved to make use of the warm running water.
Shutting and locking the door behind him Sora shuffled over to the sink, dropping the towel into the white basin. Hand clutching at either side he stared at his reflection, blue eyes somewhat red-rimmed from having gotten some cold tea into them. His clothes were stained, white of his top turned into a creamy peach color and some of the tea was still dripping from his hair, trails of it running down the back of his neck and spine.
Sora stared at his reflection for a long, hard moment. It wasn't until his vision started to blur that he realize that the burning in his eyes wasn't just from the tea but something deeper. Something that he had to fight everyday for years ever since his light had left him.
"Riku…" Breath hitching brokenly the teen lowered his gaze and his head, curling one arm over the edge of the sink and pressing his forehead against it. "Riku - why can't you stay? Why did you have to - have to-"
Breath hitching too much for words Sora sobbed quietly, shoulders shaking with the force of his emotion. It had been years - four, to be exact - since the being who had stayed by his side since birth left him. It may have been wrong for him to feel as he did for Riku but it wasn't something he could help, or something he thought he would ever be able to change. Sora needed the other like he needed to breathe and not being able to see that pale skin, soft smile and laughing green eyes was torture.
Sora stayed hunched over the sink long after the sobs had quieted down. Eventually he pushed himself up, running warm water over the towel and doing as best as he could to wipe off his sticky face, arms and chest. Once done with that the brunet unlocked the bathroom door and slipped out, peering sheepishly over at the cashier station.
Demyx was tending to someone at the register and it didn't look as if anyone was waiting for their drink so Sora went over, hesitating as the blonde finished up. "Hey Dem."
"Hmm?" Looking up as he closed the till Demyx fixed his gaze on the shifting brunet. "I'll be fine," he said before Sora could say anything more. "Zex will be coming in about ten minutes - I'm pretty sure I'll survive at least that long."
Shooting the blonde a grateful smile Sora gave a half-wave before moving to the employees only area. Soon he was changed, wet clothes in a plastic bag and heading out of the café to the dorms where he was staying.
Taking his time as he walked along the sidewalk Sora found his mind drifting off again. Not that it mattered to him. Daydreaming was the only way he got to see his guardian as he wished, with no walls or rules between them.
/He had to of felt something too,/ Sora thought as he turned a corner, barely missing tripping over a little poodle being walked on too long a leash. /That is - did he feel anything?/
Mulling over his thoughts Sora made the walk back up to his dorm without incident. /From what he said last time he would be around but it's been years./ Dropping the bag and its soiled contents Sora walked over to his bed, flopping down face-first. "Are you even here?" he mumbled into his pillow, feeling the sting of fresh tears building up. /It would have been easier if he had just let the truck hit me…/
Sora eventually drifted off, tear tracks drying on his cheeks and blue orbs closed against the outside world. He didn't see the flick of white feathers from the corner of his room or concerned green eyes watching as he dozed.
"Riku, come with me."
Heart doing a little flip in his chest Riku was quick to follow Leon, gaze boring into the brunet's broad back. The silver haired guardian had been summoned from watch by Rinoa, one of the few angels that Leon trusted get work done while being held up in The Planes. The brunet had wasted no time getting a move on once Riku got there and they were swiftly moving down the halls, heading out of the guardian dispatch center and towards the main section of the Fifth Level.
Not trusting to speak Riku made sure to keep up with Leon's long-legged stride, wings fluttering anxiously. It had to be an answer from the Superiors - what would they say? Why couldn't Leon just say if they approved or not? Those and more question ran through Riku's head and the walk seemed to take far longer than it had the first two times it had been visited.
Heading through beautifully crafted white and gold doors another maze of hallways greeted the pair, Leon leading as if being guided. Riku nearly snapped and demanded what the answer was when the brunet came to a sudden stop, pausing before an ominous pair of white, golden-rimmed doors and placing a large hand on the handle. The pair stood for so long in silence that when Leon finally spoke Riku jumped, wings nearly making him take to flight.
"No matter what happens, the arrangement is final." Though the tone was even Leon's voice was heavy with emotion - worry, anxiety, regret. "There are no second chances - at least, not with Sora. Understood?"
Skin tingling with nerves Riku could only nod though he knew that Leon couldn't see it. The silence must have been enough of an answer because the handle was pushed down, Leon pulling the door open and ushering Riku inside before slipping in behind.
The room was much like the rest of the building, furnished in stark white with gold decorating the walls and furnishings. Set near the far wall was a long, rounded table, a body in each chair and all eyes focused on Riku. Swallowing hard the young - young, when compared to everyone else in the room - guardian stepped forward until in the center of the half circle, shoulders squared and form braced for an answer.
Sitting at the head of the table was an angel that Riku had only seen once before; the other was usually surrounded by so many that one could not get a clear look. The dark skin, white hair and piercing gold eyes were impossible to forget once seen, though.
"Allow me to introduce myself," the deep rumble of the other angel's voice would have been pleasant were Riku not wound so tightly. "I am Xemnas, head of the Department of Angel and Human Affairs. My colleges and I would like to ask you some questions before we make a final decision."
Not trusting to speak just yet Riku nodded, wishing that Leon was within sight rather than hovering somewhere by the large, ominous doors. Somehow Riku felt that being able to see the almost-friend/boss would make the whole process at least a little bit easier.
It wasn't Xemnas who spoke up again but an angel sitting beside the Superior, dark blond hair tied in an updoo and a sever expression on a pale, angular face. "Riku, you are but a child compared to the rest of us. We have seen infatuations come and go. What makes you believe that this isn't anything more than a passing fancy?"
The bluntness of the words did not make Riku lose focus though the reply was a careful response. "There is a difference between infatuation and true love," the silver haired angel replied, voice carrying easily through the large room. "I have felt longing, distaste, sorrow and pity for my charges. Never have I experienced a fondness this strong before. Never have I ever considered giving up all for one mortal."
"What is it like?" The new question came from an angel a few seats to the left of Xemnas, one that Riku immediately recognized from the feathered pink hair and sparkling blue eyes. "How does this mortal make you feel, young one?"
Riku paused then, considering for a long moment. "I feel… that every moment I can be beside him is precious. That every laugh, every tear, every moment is as equally important and each spent with him fill me with both pleasure and satisfaction. I feel-" Riku took a breath at that, the words coming out just slight strained. "That even if he decided that he didn't want me afterwards, that would be okay. Just to be able to hold him, touch him, love him for just a moment - I feel like that would be worth everything."
Quiet murmuring followed the silence after Riku's answer, the angel who asked it smiling slightly while sitting back in the low-backed seat. It was an angel sitting on the very end to Riku's right who spoke up next, blond hair short to the head with a layer of gold above fairly full lips and across a strong jaw. "And what do you plan to do, should he turn you away?"
The questioning went on for what felt like decades to Riku. Everyone spoke up to ask their question. All but Xemnas.
It was after the last of those seated around the huge table had their question answered that Xemnas finally spoke again, lacing elegant fingers together and leaning forward slightly. While Riku had been nervous before having those sharp golden eyes fixed like a tiger eyeing prey sent the young angel's heart racing in a sloppy stutter and it took some convincing to keep the pale body still under the angel's gaze.
"We have asked our questions and you have answered them well. I have one more for you."
Riku swallowed hard before nodding, hardly allowing daring to breathe, waiting.
"Should you take on a new life- a life as a human- things will not be as they were. You will change not just in the way you believe." As Xemnas rested both elbows on the table's top with long fingers forming a steeple the dark angel took in the slight confusion of the other angel's face. "How will you know him, should you not recognize the boy you so want after now?"
"With my heart." Though Riku did not even know there had been an answer to such an obscure question it came swiftly, as easily as the truth. "Even if he were crippled, or old, or riddled with illness my heart will know him. I will know him."
The silence that followed was heavy and it seemed like years before the powerful angel sat back. "Indeed." the word was heavy and Riku knew. A decision had been made.
Coming to a halt before broad doors leading to his dorm Sora paused, looking up at the building. He'd been staying there for a year and a half now. It was fine, as far as buildings go, though it wasn't the same as-
Shaking the thought off the brunet made his way up the steps, trudging along. He made his way past the dorm mother before heading for the stairs, heading up to his room. As he came out of the stairway a familiar figure was heading towards it and he gave a mental groan even as he plastered on a smile. /Of course./ "Hey, Tidus."
It wasn't that Sora had anything against the blond at all. Tidus was fit, attractive and had a pair of one of the most amazing eyes that he had ever seen. Though Sora did prefer green to blue…
"Oh hey Sora!" The enthusiastic response was followed by a rough half-hug that made the brunet cringe. "I was just heading out! There's going to be a party up at Twilight Lake - booze, bonfire, maybe some drunken swimming. You want in? I can give you a ride up there."
That was why Sora tried to avoid the blond when he could. While he was handsome and friendly to boot the male had been tossing signals at him for months. Sora just wasn't interested; not only due to the blond's partying nature but Tidus just… wasn't what he wanted.
So Sora smiled as he always did as he detangled himself from the blond's friendly embrace, shaking his head. "I'd love to, really, but I need to work on that project from Professor Galvin. I'm sure he's just waiting for a reason to store my balls in a jar."
The blond laughed at that, his suddenly free arm raising as he rubbed at the back of his head. "Ah, yeah, I had him last semester. The guy has got to have lost some marbles snorting those chemicals he loves so much." Raising his hand in a wave Tidus went for the staircase then, smile slightly dimmer than before. "Never mind, then. I'll see you around."
"Yeah - later."
Breathing a sigh as the door swung shut Sora started the trek back to his room. /Maybe I should give him a chance,/ he thought for the hundredth time. /Sure he parties a lot but he's really nice, and pretty hot, and for some reason seems to like me…/
The thoughts trailed off as Sora entered his room, dropping his bag by the door and shutting it behind him. His roommate was no where to be seen and Sora moved first to the flashing answering machine, pressing the 'Play All' button as he set about kicking off his sneakers and socks.
The first was a wrong number, the second being a call from home for said missing roommate. "You'd better not be out all night screwing hookers and doing blow!" the woman's voice called through the speakers and Sora snorted a laugh. Never mind that a lot of classes went on at least until 6 and the message had been left just after 2pm.
The last message was for him. "Hey, Sora, it's Demyx. Listen, something sort of came up and I can't stay till the end of my shift today - we're supposed to be getting a new kid to train, though. Do you think you can get here for 8? I would totally be in your debt forever!"
Glancing at the digital clock by his bed Sora read the time; 7:43. If he threw on his uniform there and rand most of the way he could probably just make it in time.
Making a snap decision the brunet quickly begun to strip off his clothes, nearly tripping over his pants as he rushed over to his closet to grab his uniform. The project could wait for a couple of hours; Sora wasn't going to say no to some extra cash.
By the time Sora made it to the café it was 8:03. Demyx must have seen him coming because the blond came out shortly after he came into view of the shop, jogging towards him. "Demyx! What the heck, you just left the new guy in there-"
"There's just a lady I already put through and he's making the drinks!" The words came out in a rush and Sora could see that his coworker looked haggard, his annoyance ebbing away to concern. "Thank you so much, Sora! I'm so so so so soooooo sorry but I really have to go!" Then the blond was rushing past him, still in uniform and running towards the parking lot where his little bonzai blue Toyota sat waiting.
/Wow… I wonder what happened./ Sora didn't have time to dwell on the thought, though; though Demyx was apparently in enough of a rush to leave a new hire unattended by the till Sora didn't have time to linger and quickly made his way to the glass doors.
The quiet chime of the bell was just a touch louder than the classical jazz music that poured lazily through the store's speakers, announcing his presence before he could. Sora could see the woman that Demyx had mentioned already seated with her drink, chatting quietly with a male in the seat across from her. There was one other small group and another couple in the far corner of the café and Sora couldn't help but sigh. /Way to go, Dem. No pressure on the new guy or anything; what if they all wanted second orders?/
Said new guy seemed to be cleaning up the work station in the back, only just visible between the large jars on the counter holding baked snacks such as white chocolate cookies, gluten free brownies and Sora's personal favorite, caramel dipped, chocolate covered pretzels. While Sora himself could only wear the visor with his uniform due to the volume of his hair he could just make out the top of the cap provided for all baristas, meant for keeping wayward strands out of drinks.
Grinning Sora made his way to the front counter, tapping the bell to summon workers to the till. "One moment!" the other called - apparently male (/Ack! I should have asked Demyx his name at least! I guess I'll know soon enough/) if the rich, rather pleasant tone of voice accounted for anything. /Rule Number 1; never keep the customer waiting./ Sora was already mentally making a list of what to go over with the new hire when the towel the other was using was tossed aside, the other turning with a smile on his lips.
Sora froze.
"Hey, welcome to-" Sea-green eyes blinked for a moment, a moment of confusion passing through them. "Oh, are you the one taking over for…" The new hire paused and Sora watched as familiar, silver brows furrowed, the other seeming to study him. "I'm sorry, but… have we met before?"
"Riku." The name was breathed, like a prayer and Sora didn't notice as hot, wet tears begun to slip from his eyes, leaving damp trails along his cheeks.
Pale lips parted in mild surprise though those thin brows were still ruffled, the other's head tilting slight and causing silver strands to shift with the motion. "Yes?"
The sharp cry drew the attention of everyone in the café, heads turning to see what had caused the sound. All were surprised to see two workers, one with wild brunet spikes and the other with carefully tucked-away silver strands, the shorter of the pair half-over the counter with his arms wrapped around the surprised-looking newbie's neck and sobbing whole-heartedly.