Starkiller – Star Wars TFU series Fanfic…
"They are memories of a dead man"
Starkiller woke up in a cold sweat, it's been 18 months since he escaped Kamino, 18 months since he was told of his reality of being a clone, 18 months since his first memory of Juno Eclipse, his template's love interest. The woman he had fallen in love with.
Starkiller rose from his bed, and walked out onto the medium sized balcony of his apartment. On a temperate world, he discovered in the outer part of the mid-rim of the galaxy, uncharted for the most part, except for an old hyperspace route he found when scrolling through his starship, the Rogue Shadow's navigation computer.
He needed space from the outside worlds, worlds that are now surrounded by conflicts between the Empire he once served, and the Rebel Alliance his predecessor founded. But Starkiller, after over a year of serving with them, saw little or no future in the Alliance for him. The rebels themselves, though in dire need of a weapon that could help turn the tide against the Empire, we're not in need of him, he concluded. It was a conclusion half-based on the reason that the boon he had proven to be in the short term, could turn against the Alliance if the Emperor ever found out of his "return". He would most certainly set his sights on Starkiller should he be aware of his existence and Darth Vader would not be far behind. The second reason, was that, he wished to harm Juno Eclipse no further.
Vader had escaped Alliance custody a month into his capture, he may have had weaknesses but that did not make him weak as a being. With his mighty strength in the force he broke free of his holding cell, proceeded to kill all who guarded him and escaped on a larger-sized bomber. The Alliance had to relocate soon after, knowing Vader would be back with his Death Squadron and the Alliance knew better than to go up against a dozen of the galaxy's deadliest star destroyers.
Starkiller himself concluded that it was time to leave. Without any notifications, he slipped away , knowing that most of the Alliance would not miss him since they weren't aware of his existence, and the only people who really knew were Juno, Rahm Kota, his own militia and key members of the Alliance upper echelon.
He left them all, even Juno Eclipse. The woman he loved and still did, was still serving in the Alliance and had been promoted to commander of her own, small flotilla.
However what he did not count on was general Kota, who upon seeing him preparing to leave appeared very dismayed.
Kota : "You're leaving?!" The old Jedi master said in dismay and anger
Starkiller : "I can't stay general..." Starkiller replied in the briefest manner possible.
Kota : "Boy what in blazes has gotten into you this time?!" The general said half enquiring, half angry.
Starkiller : "I need to leave general. If I stay I'll just be a hindrance and a danger to the Alliance."
Kota : "Come to your senses!;... boy. You've been of great help so far. Helping destroy those imperial targets. Giving the Alliance a boost in their morale. They may not know you
exist but they sure will fight for the cause you started…" Kota traced off starting to get angry, emphasizing the "you" in his sentence as if to try and play on Starkiller's guilt. It was working somewhat.
"You?" Starkiller thought, he wasn't the one who started this rebellion, it was his predecessor, Galen Marek. The man he was cloned from, the man whom the love of his life loved, the man whom he thought, at that moment, he was not.
18 months ago he was so obsessed with finding Juno, believing she was his, believing he needed to protect her. But after over a year of contemplation on all the events that have conspired around him, he was sobered by the fact that, he was most likely not the man she loved, and for that, he did not deserve her, nor she him. She deserved better than a half-mad copy of a man whom, he thought was far better than he was.
After the events on Kamino, Rahm Kota eventually began teaching Starkiller, indirectly, subtly about the nature of a Jedi, and though he had no intentions of following the old Jedi Order's code of not engaging in romantic or sensual relationships, he did however, resonate slightly with the Jedi's principle of being self-less.
He was not self-less however, he was willing to gamble everything for her, but despite his reasoning, that he cared for Juno more than himself, he thought the reasons for him wanting her, lusting for her even, were completely selfish. He wondered, if she might have fallen for his template, Galen Marek, due to his being self-less. He certainly had accumulated a wealth of memories of his predecessor, of his past life, of his thoughts, memories and emotions. He believed his predecessor was self-less, and that this truly was one of the reasons Juno must have fallen for him. Despite him having memories of their argument aboard the Rogue Shadow, Galen and she, on his motives for rescuing her, he concluded that Galen had also given his life for the Alliance. Giving away all his chances of happiness with Juno, and his potential success and glory with the Alliance, he chose to give his life to ensure the Alliance could escape un-opposed by the Emperor and Vader.
Starkiller himself, though he has come to admire the Alliance and it's leaders to a degree, had little if any love for it, nor the people he came to identify in his visions and dreams as Galen Marek's mother Mallie and his father Kento. All he wanted was Juno, and only her, and he was willing to gamble everything. He concluded that if and when the choice came to choose between her and the greater good he would probably forsake the galaxy for her, and that he knew she would probably never forgive, despite him suspecting that she may do the same.
With that in mind, the last obstacle preventing him from leaving was removed. He loved her deeply, but he wondered how much of that love was real, and how much was fabricated, and even the love that he held for her that he knew was genuine, he wondered how much of it was true love of her and how much was only a selfish desire to have her for himself.
He could not allow himself to destroy what the woman he loved held dearest. The memory of Galen Marek. He would argue again that he was there, if not, Marek himself then surely a worthy substitute, what memory can be more important than him? But he quickly rationalized that he was most likely not Galen Marek as Kota theorized, and that she really loved Galen Marek and will come to terms with the fact that he was gone and he was not Marek. She would then be hurt by this. It was impossible, or at least nearly. He saw many clones of him albeit they were all mad, but there were rumors of strange sightings where a man that looked like him was spotted occasionally. He wondered, could this be another clone of Marek that escaped? If it was it would most certainly prove Kota wrong and that, albeit with some defects, a stable copy of Galen Marek could exist and that he was truly dead…
Snapping out of his daydream, Kota stared with some anger, and frustration in his eyes with a slight hint of what Starkiller recognized as sadness.
Starkiller : "How do you know, I'm him? There were, hundreds of them, clones of…; of him"
Kota then, after a slight expression of anger and frustration began; "I don't know, I told you. But like I said it probably doesn't matter. You're as powerful as he was, if you really are a clone. and you can fill his shoes just fine. At least in terms of your usefulness" Kota said again trying to pull him back to the possibility that he may well be Galen Marek, that Vader was willing to go to great lengths to get what he wanted, and that it all could have been a trick. A twisted and complicated trick. Kota did grow fond of Marek and he did on some level wish that Starkiller was he, but his main goal was the galaxy's freedom, and he would not let personal feelings get in the way of that.
"And;" Kota continued "You're the only thing that can help the Alliance in case the Empire weeds us out and sends us to the Emperor again." Kota finished.
Starkiller: "There are sighting of a man that looks like me…; I mean him." Starkiller quickly corrected. "You're saying Jedi still can't be cloned when there are possibly two stable
clones walking around? And even if I'm not him, then what if that other man that looks like him is the real Galen Marek? Why not ask him to join the Alliance?!" He
finished with anger building up
Kota: "Because they're just rumors, boy." Kota emphasized the word rumor. "That could be anybody, and those rumors aren't pretty boy. They're of murder, that guy's been killing off guards and sentinels at checkpoints and the like all over the galaxy."
Starkiller: "Exactly…" Starkiller rebutted. "If it's not him then who could it be? It's a clone and those guards were killed with lightsabers. And the rumors say he looks like Marek."
Kota : "Boy there are many of people capable of wielding lightsabers against some lame guards, bounty hunters, like the one that kidnapped Juno, rogue Jedi of the old order,
even some average crooks, and those sightings were in dark places, and by Alliance members who's vision isn't exactly 20/20"
Starkiller : "Whatever, I'm still leaving general."
He was sick of Kota's rationalizations. He reasoned that even if, in the million to one chance, he was the real Starkiller/ Galen Marek, he had changed too much and he wouldn't ruin his relationship with Juno any further. Better to end it here and now. But even he was too afraid, too "cowardly" to face her, this in itself shows that he wasn't Galen Marek, at least not who he once was, starting to doubt his existence as a clone and being somewhat frustrated, that Kota had at least been partially successful in sowing seeds of doubt into him…
No he wouldn't rationalize any further, in any case, he was leaving.
He packed up the last of what he needed into the Rogue Shadow, and proceeded to leave… Kota upon seeing this saw it was no use. He was too conflicted within himself to be of usefulness and would perhaps now be a liability, Though he reasoned that running away was not the solution, he knew that, at least for now, he would need to let Starkiller figure this out on his own. As Starkiller boarded onto the ramp of the ship Kota thought it necessary to give one last piece of advice;
Kota: "Boy" Starkiller turned toward him slightly as he paused, "Don't forget, who you are, whoever you are. In the end though, it's not really about who you are, it's who you can become."
Kota : "Here" said Kota, tossing Galen a small parcel. "Keep it. Consider it a parting gift"
Starkiller held it in his hands, but didn't stop and closed the hatch to the Rogue Shadow. And soon he took off.
Kota : "May the Force be with you boy." Kota said quietly. "And may you come to your senses before it's too late" He thought further.
With the hyperspace coordinates set, for some random world in the mid-rim he just picked out, he left.
To be continued