Tristan's Birthday Surprise
By Kelly
A long awaited birthday gift from Kelly to Rachelle . . . sorry it took so long
Joey was depressed; nothing would cheer him up. He sat staring at his duel monsters deck unable to bring himself to even shuffle it let alone train for the upcoming tournament. Joey heard his bedroom door bang open and he let out a loud groan.
"What's up buddy?" Tristan asked, completely oblivious to Joey's bad mood.
Joey let out another even louder groan and turned around to glare at Tristan. Tristan was always just bursting into his room uninvited. He was always bursting into his house uninvited. Sometimes Joey came home to find Tristan on HIS couch eating HIS snacks and watching HIS television. He never seemed to get that it was rude and the worst part was that he always insisted on watching stupid shows, like Ghost Hunters or Laguna Beach.
"Woah! Somebody's in a bad mood, what's got you so pissed off?"
"Maybe you just barging into my house AGAIN." Joey was not going to make this easy for Tristan. He was in a bad mood for a completely different reason but he felt like blaming somebody and Tristan was always an easy target.
"I don't think so Joey, I do that all the time."
"EXACTLY!"
"No way, you were probably mad before I got here. What's the matter, you get dumped again?"
"How could I get dumped Tristan? . . . I don't even have a girlfriend!"
"Yes you do, she's that one with the ponytail."
"That's not my girlfriend . . . that's Duke." Tristan gave Joey a blank look. "He's a guy"
"Well he's extremely girly looking . . . he has a ponytail and a headband! I should probably stop hitting on him if he's a guy."
Joey was even madder now. He couldn't tell if Tristan was being serious or just stupid. He was about to rant that if Duke HAD been his girlfriend, why was Tristan hitting on him? when he realized that he was getting sidetracked and that the argument was completely pointless. And now he was even madder because Tristan was distracting him from his depression, which was absolutely not allowed.
"FINE! I'm upset because it's my sister's birthday! Now will you leave me alone?"
Tristan was, once again, confused. A lot of things confused Tristan but he thought he understood fairly well how Joey felt about Serenity. He loved her. He would do anything for her. Shouldn't Joey be happy at the opportunity to let his sister know that he cared about her?
"So what if it's Serenity's birthday?" Asked Tristan.
"SO WHAT?" Shouted Joey jumping up and beginning to look murderous "She's going out with her girlfriends to celebrate! That's what! She's going out to bars and she's going to meet guys who will flirt with her and want to take her home and take advantage of her. And even if they don't try to take her home, even if they just want to meet up later for a cup of coffee they still won't be good enough for her!"
"Chill out Joey!" Said Tristan as a plan hatched in his head. Joey looked about ready to start ranting again so Tristan took action and tackled him to the ground in an attempt to cover his mouth and avoid getting ranted at again. "Calm down" Said Tristan as Joey struggled to get out from under him "I have an idea."
"Your ideas are stupid." Shouted Joey as he briefly managed to free his mouth from under Tristan's hand. Tristan covered his mouth again. After a few more muffled insults Joey decided that the only way to free himself was to lick Tristan's hand.
"Ew! Did you just lick me? Well it won't work. Seriously, stop it you're gross. Do you want to hear my idea or not?" Joey shook his head no. "Well I don't care because I'm the one sitting on top of you and you're the one who can't talk" Joey glared. "So my idea is, we follow her! If we follow Serenity, we can make sure no creepy guys hit on her and we get to go out and have fun! Let's go out Joey, we can protect Serenity while we get drunk and pick up chicks" Tristan uncovered Joeys mouth.
"If we're going out to protect Serenity, I'm not getting drunk with you. How can I be a good big brother if I'm all sloppy and not paying attention?"
"Well I'm not hanging out with you if you're all grumpy so you're just gonna have to deal with it. You need to go out and have some fun! We are totally getting drunk and picking up girls. We will be super manly and all the girls will be falling over themselves to get to us."
Joey reluctantly agreed and Tristan smiled to himself. Joey wasn't going to know about the other part of his plan until it was too late.
(page break)
A few hours later when Tristan showed up at his house with Duke, Joey was not pleased.
"Tristan, why did you bring Duke? He's just going to try to sleep with Serenity."
"No he won't, he's going to be your wingman. And I'm going to be his wingman and then you are going to be my wingman. We will all have a wingman."
"I don't need a wingman" said Duke "I can get ladies by just looking at them the right way . . . or the wrong way hehehe."
"You're not as funny as you think you are Duke." Said Joey grumpily "And you're probably not as sexy as you think you are either."
"Hey now I am willing to help you two pick up babes but I may take back that offer if you're going to be a jerk about it."
"Whatever" grumbled Joey "I just want to make sure Serenity is safe."
The three of them set off to find whichever bar Serenity had gone to, Tristan feeling very pleased with himself that his plan was working out so well. They got to the bar where Serenity and her friends had gone and snuck into the other room so she wouldn't see them.
"Here's my plan" Tristan began "we can just hang out in this room and check in on Serenity every few minutes or so. We don't want her to notice us so we shouldn't pop in too often though."
"Fine" mumbled Joey looking like he didn't agree with the plan at all. He would rather be watching her the whole time but Tristan was going to make him forget all about that. Duke had immediately spotted a group of girls and was managing to hit on all of them at once. Tristan grabbed Joey's hand and dragged him over to the group. "Duke's your wing man Joey! You have to stick with him."
They all took turns buying drinks and shots for various girls they were talking to and Joey ended up, as Tristan had planned, being very drunk.
"I'm not even that drunk right now" Joey began to a girl who was giggling at him "I'm just a liiiiiiittle buzzed. Like maybe a little bit more. Do you like duel monsters?" The girl looked surprised.
"Joey, only losers talk about card games while they're trying to hit on girls." Said Duke "Unless you can manage to turn talk about games into innuendo like I do, you should just stay away from it." Joey however, did not take his wingman's advice. He, in fact, pretty much forgot about his wingman altogether. Duke was the only one who was remotely composed anymore. Joey had forgotten about being mad at Tristan and Tristan had forgotten that Joey didn't know about his plan.
"I am going to get SO lucky tonight." Tristan bragged as his eyes drifted to the doorway to the other room where Serenity was."
"With who buddy?" asked Joey, practically jumping on Tristan as he forgot completely about the girl he had been trying to talk to.
"Ummmmmmm . . . a girllllllll" said Tristan as he remembered Joey definitely would not like Tristan thinking about Serenity the way he had been thinking about her for the past few minutes.
"Cool me too!" shouted Joey "Girls love duel monsters. I'm like, a champion . . . a manly champion of card games. I am a winner of card games, I battle with the monsters!"
"Seriously dude, you sound like an idiot!" shouted Duke from his spot at the bar surrounded by giggling girls "Stop talking about duel monsters, it's not impressive."
"I would be impressed." said Joey
"Me too!" agreed Tristan "In fact, I am impressed! Let me buy you a drink buddy."
Tristan and Joey had completely forgotten about Duke and resorted to just being each others' wingmen which was okay because Duke clearly didn't need any help. They weren't very good at it though because they kept forgetting about the girls they were talking to and talking to each other about duel monsters instead. Then Joey began to try and act out some of his more impressive duels for Tristan, acting out the parts of his monsters.
"I seriously thought he was a girl" whispered Tristan very loudly to Joey as Joey tried to trap an attacking beer bottle with a chair that he was pretending was a trap card.
"Well he does have like . . . a ponytail. And like . . . girly hips or something, so I don't blame you." Joey said as he gave up on the attacking beer bottle and tried to imitate, with much flailing and roaring, how his red eyes had attacked his opponent in his last duel. He was starting to look very unstable. Tristan, who was standing in for the part of the opposing monster by holding the beer bottle walked over to Joey to get a closer look at him.
"You don't look so good man. You look pretty gross actually. Try not to barf on any of the chicks dude."
"I feel . . . ill."
Tristan decided that it was a good idea to get Duke. His plan was working out even better than he had hoped. If he could get Duke to take Joey home, he could totally go after Serenity. No competition from Duke and no glares from Joey!
"Hey Duke, can you take Joey home?" Asked Tristan.
"Why can't you do it man? I'm going to score" Duke shouted loudly across the bar. For some reason none of the girls he was talking to looked offended; they just giggled.
"You are waaaaay more sober than I am man. Also you can score anytime, take one for the team . . . you're his wingman!"
"Whatever, you're obsessed with wingmen. Next time I'm the one who gets to stay and if I get too drunk both of you have to take me home."
Duke took Joey out of the bar and they began to walk down the street. As soon as they were out of sight, Tristan strolled into the other room.
"Oh Serenity, hi!" He called out as he spotted Joey's sister.
"Hey Tristan" Serenity said turning around "what are you doing here?"
"Well I was hanging out with Joey and he told me it was your birthday. I just decided to drop in and say Happy Birthday on my way home from your house. Let me buy you a drink since I didn't have time to get you a present."
"Wow Tristan, that's so sweet of you" said Serenity as Tristan walked up to the bar. On Tristan's face was a look of triumph. Maybe he would hook up with Serenity tonight and then it would be too late! By the time Joey found out, Serenity would be totally in love with him. His plan was working out perfectly! Time to turn on the sexy Tristan manliness!
"So Serenity, I don't know if you knew this but I have a really cool motorcycle. Maybe I could take you on a ride sometime . . . "
(page break)
On the other side of town at the Domino Blimpport, a beautiful young voice actress arrived in Japan to meet her true love. This pinnacle of talent and beauty was named Rachelle. She had abandoned her previous husband, Johnny Yong Bosch, to be with her one and only true love. She fainted as she spotted Seto Kaiba waiting for her to disembark. Kaiba caught her in midair and picked her up wedding style and brought her to his limo. Together they embarked on a limo ride to his mansion where they would spend their lives making very attractive babies and playing card games together.