Loki's Fall

-Kitsunegirl911

AN:

So this story was inspired by the English version of the song 'Bad Apple', of all things. This is my first attempt at writing a Thor fic to post, and I used it mainly to get used to writing Loki. (I've written plenty of Thor fics besides this, though I don't know if they'll be posted here any time soon.) Also, just to mention it, there is subtle Thunderfrost/Thorki. It's so slight I didn't put it in the summary, and so if you're not into that, just ignore it… or something. I might write a chapter two, but for now I think it's best left like this.

So yeah, long author's note is long. Without further ado… Loki's Fall!

"No, Loki." Odin had said. No. The usual response from the great Allfather to his youngest 'son'. It would be the last thing Loki would hear him say before he was sucked down into the swirling light and energy along with the remains of the Bifrost. It was strange to Loki how he rarely had conviction enough for things like this, but letting go of his own spear came as natural as anything.

As Loki fell he closed his eyes, a few stray tears escaping as he did so. He didn't know where he'd end up, let alone when. That is, if he even broke free of this limbo in the first place. With his eyes shut Loki could feel and hear everything around him, each and every detail amplified to almost painful proportions. There was a loud humming noise pounding in his head and the roar of cold wind rushing past him felt like some horrid beast's teeth that managed to pierce his armor. The sensations never slowed or ceased, but somehow despite that, Loki managed to fall into a restless sleep.

His dreams were strange things, all of his past regrets and disappointment rolled into one scene that never ended. Everyone knew of his heritage, everyone knew how he betrayed their safety and threatened their king's life… Their disdain was sharp and hurtful, but Loki had dealt with it for years. He could do so now too. But as he turned he caught sight of the one person he'd dreaded seeing here. No, not here! Not you! His brother was among the rest, standing out in the crowd as their golden one even here. No words were spoken, but his eyes said it all.

Loki had last called him brother sarcastically, but he'd never denied it outright. Thor was still his brother and the only person who was always there- whether for Loki specifically or not it didn't matter. But Thor's eyes showed that he'd severed that single tie left between them. They weren't the kind bright sky Loki had grown to love; Thor's eyes were cold hard ice as they condemned him with but a mere glance. Tears came to Loki's eyes unbidden then; he felt so confused. Why would Thor, the one who always insisted they try and work things out, turn away from him like that? But he didn't… did he? Loki tried to remember what Thor looked like as he watched him fade into the distance. His brother had been pained and betrayed then too, but beyond that he was… saddened. Why? Thor had been yelling after him as he fell, that same word that Odin used. Yet it meant Thor regretted losing him, that Thor actually still cared. Loki stared at this dream-Thor as blankly as he could, feeling heartened by that knowledge.

And just like that, the dream ended. Loki's eyes flew open and he immediately winced and closed them again. The bright lights swirling around him were too dazzling to take in all at once. But he knew he was still falling, still traveling through endless space and time. A fleeting feeling of despair swept over him but he managed to stay relatively calm. It wouldn't help anything to lose hope now; he may still get out of this yet. But each and every time he awoke from the same dream he saw the same ironically pretty landscape around him. Time plodded slowly on. And although Loki couldn't be sure, he felt like it had been years of this damned cycle. Lament, sleep, awake to the same situation, and lament again. His hope was slowly waning, and it showed in his dreams.

At first Loki had been able to stand defiantly up to that fake Thor, but now he began to doubt himself. Was his memory true or did he just make it up to comfort himself? Was it just another fabrication woven by the Silver Tongued Liesmith- this time to trick his own mind? And each time Loki faltered more and more in front of the dream-Thor, until at last Thor's hatred seeped into that sacred part of his mind, that last view of his former brother was now marred. Thor parroted Odin's words, watching gleefully as Loki let go of his spear to drop into the infinity below, finally able to be rid of his 'brother'.

Thor's sneering face was the last thing Loki ever saw before falling into this vortex of twisted beauty.

Loki constantly wished to be free of this hateful aurora, and it didn't help matters that he wasn't sure whether he wanted to be awake or asleep to pass the time. Waking he had to face disappointment again and again, asleep he had to face Thor's contempt until he nearly broke down from begging and crying out for forgiveness he knew he would never get. So it happened after what seemed like an endless eternity that the wind slowed down and warmed him rather than buffeting him painfully. He felt… still. But through his eyelids he could sense bright light nonetheless.

Could it be? Loki thought as anticipation crept back into his mind like a serpent wrapping itself around his brain. He wanted desperately to see something other than his self-imposed torment, but he was unable to take yet another disappointment without breaking completely. He tried to ignore everything around him, hoping beyond hope that he truly was free. He clenched his eyes shut tighter, not willing to ruin this moment.

But this damned optimism keeps coming in stronger and stronger…

Loki cracked one eye open slowly to see what the verdict was.