Burying The Past
June 1, 1991
Bart stood frozen staring at his unrecognizable reflection in the mirror. Today was the day that he was going to be laying his wife to rest. And he just couldn't get past the fact that it had ended like this.
After all he had imaged their life ending in a million different ways (old age, together in the place where they'd spent their honeymoon. Never like this!), and the idea that she'd die in an attempt to extend their family never once crossed his mind.
Since it had happened he often found himself trying to weigh the two events in an attempt to make them make sense (his wife's death, his son's birth), against each other (on some mental scale that he had created in his head), and he could never make them equal.
He could never make the two incidences judicious. He felt bad, because sometimes he found himself almost blaming the little newborn for her…passing, then he'd feel a sudden, overwhelming sense of guilt as soon as the concept entered his mind.
Most days (since it happened), however, he just felt nothing; just an emptiness accompanied by a vague sense of obscurity that would almost devour him. He'd held the boy 3 times since she'd died; when he was first born, after the paparazzi scare and one night when the crying ceased to stop and the nannies had been absent for some reason or other.
He was a horrible parent and she would be so disappointed in him if she could see him now! That very idea (the idea that she would hate the way in which he'd cared for the boy) made him want to throw in the towel; just give the boy away.
But, then he'd remember how much she had wanted the baby, and how much he'd lost for the baby and he couldn't. He had lost too much to just give up. And anyway he reminded himself, he was Bart Bass and Bart Bass could do anything he put his mind to.
So, he studied his reflection and prepared himself to enter back out into the world as a new person. He was no longer Bart Bass the best husband in New York, he was now; Bart Bass Business man and single father and he could deal with that. If he wanted to, he could handle that (he just had to clear away the tears that were now pooling in his eyes and put on a strong face)
The public funeral was the start of a new beginning. If he could make it through that then he could make it through anything. He reached over to his bed and grabbed his suit jacket. He exhaled sharply and forced the jacket onto his body.
He looked at his appearance once more in the mirror, just to make sure that he was in character, and that everything was intact and then he left the room and made his way to the nursery where the nanny was dressing Charles for the service.
Upon arriving to the nursery, he stood at the door and studied the sleeping boy who was now dressed in his custom made suit and laying in his crib unknowing of exactly what he'd lost, of exactly what he'd be saying good bye to today.
He took a moment to feel sorry for his son because Charles would never know his mother, and he would never understand just how much she had wanted him and that realization felt wrong in so many ways. Then he forced himself to get over the feeling and to do what he had to do.
"I assume everything is in order?' he asked the women in his Bart Bass non nonsense voice. The lady nodded an affirmative before grabbing the small baby and following Bart Bass out into the world.
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
It was media frenzy. As soon as they'd stepped out of the home cameras and people were coming at them from every direction.
"Is that the baby Mr. Bass?" a voice asked, and as soon as the question was asked all eyes ran towards the child. Bart pushed a few people back that had been attempting to get too close to his son. (As hard as he could) Then, (while walking quickly ahead), lead the nanny and his son to his Limo and to the end of the life he'd known.
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
Feb 9, 1991
She walked into his office as fast as she could. She was showing, but, she wasn't really big. She was perfect and to him she looked beautiful in her yellow maternity dress that hung just right on her perfect figure.
"I have the best news!" she revealed as soon as she entered. She was almost skipping as she made her way to his desk. She reached into her large, expensive bag and pulled out an ultrasound picture then thrust the photo in his face.
Bart reached up and snatched it from her hand playfully then studied it. "What is it suppose to be? just looks like a bunch of nothing to me" he said, a smirk taking over his features. He was looking to get a rise out of her and he had succeeded
She opened her mouth in shock and she pulled the picture from his hands. A pout took over her face as she held the photo protectively to her chest. "That's my son you're talking about!" she said. She was playfully upset and she smiled as realization of what she'd just revealed, finally penetrated his head.
"What, what did you say?" he asked softly. His son. They were having a boy. She laughed deep chuckles before reaching her hand over to show him the picture once again. "Yeah, that's his leg, that's his little arm and that is his…." she paused "you know what I mean" she added
Bart grabbed the picture from her hand and studied it carefully. "Wow" he said softly. He placed the ultrasound photo down on his desk, and then leaned over to caress her stomach. "Bart junior" he said as he pulled her around to him. She was now sitting on his lap.
She reached up and held his face in her hands, then she leaned over so that their foreheads were touching"Are you happy" she asked him softly.
He was silent for a moment, then he ran his hands over her stomach once again looked her right in her eyes and responded" Happier than I've ever been in my life!"
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
He watched as they placed her casket in the ground. He couldn't look and he was finding it hard to breath. He forced his eyes to leave the morbid scene in front of him and he refocused them on his sleeping son who was now right beside him, being held by his nanny.
The boy was beginning to squirm, he was starting wake up and Bart felt his hands being compelled to touch the child. Before he knew it, he had taken his baby from the nanny and he was holding the boy close to his heart.
Soon, he noticed that he was currently breathing in the babies sent and the small child had stopped squirming all together.
The priest got up to say something else and Bart couldn't make it out. It was all a fog. People had started to walk past him. He sensed movement.
But, at the present moment however, it seemed to Bart as if everything had faded away and the only thing that still remained was him and his son the heat radiating from the child's tiny breaths warmed him.
He was lost and then he felt a hand gently touch his back and he flinched at the violation. It was his brother (Jack) he didn't remember calling him, but somehow he was there.
And as he let his body be lead away from the cemetery, he felt a bit of fear grasp him then let go. He nestled his baby closer and turned his head once again to face the grave.
He thought he saw her for a moment standing just standing there, right beside her very own grave and she was smiling at him in that yellow dress, it was flapping in the summer wind. She looked happy was the idea that passed through his mind.
Just as fast as her image appeared it was gone and Bart forced his eyes to look away.
He looked down at his son once again and he saw her. He had the son he had always wanted and he looked just like his mother. He was a constant reminder of a wife he would never have again.
The End!
Thanks again to everyone that read and reviewed the other stories in this series Real School, Baby Blues, and Hush Little Baby! Please read and Review this one and let me know what you think! Thanks again!