A/N: Disclaimer: See profile
Sorry guys for taking so long. I'm in the middle of my exam period so you know what that means. Thanks to crashdownmontana for everything! Love ya!
The long awaited sequel to For Her, I give you... For Him.
Her eyes fluttered open as the morning's rays shone through the bedroom curtains leaving the room glowing in a shade of gold. She smiled as an arm snaked around her waist, pulling her tighter against the hard body of her lover. Turning within his embrace, her smile could only widen as she took in his form, still fast asleep on his front. She trailed a finger over his eye lids, down his jaw, finally resting on his lips. A welcomed shudder ripped through her as she remembered the joy those lips brought her the previous night. Shifting closer, she moved to plant a sweet kiss onto his lips before nudging him onto his back. Moving her body along his, she began her daily ritual of waking him up.
Lindsay Monroe smiled as his eyes began to flutter open before promptly closing shut, disagreeing with the morning light. Her laugh echoed across the bedroom as he swiftly turned on his front and buried his head further under his pillow.
"Danny…time to wake up honey" she whispered whilst rubbing his shoulders. No matter how early it was in the morning or how tired he was, she knew in her heart that he could never deny her of anything, just as she could never deny him.
Her nibbling earned her a groan from beneath the pillow as he began to stir once more. Turning onto his back, Danny Messer could only manage a tired smile as his eyes struggled to focus. "Mornin' Montana," he greeted before capturing her lips with his.
Leaning into him, a moan escaped her as Danny began to deepen the kiss. It took the better part of an hour before they finally pulled away, panting hard, trying to regain their composure. "Morning to you too cowboy" replied Lindsay in between her own deep breaths.
Lying silently on the bed with their hands entwined, the mutual feeling of love between the two needed no words as their content smiles conveyed to one another exactly how they felt. Allowing themselves a moment together before having to return to the real world, Danny silently brought Lindsay's left hand to his lips before whispering to her, "I love you Lindsay Monroe."
Turning red at his words, Lindsay could only smile as there was little that she could say that would genuinely express the feelings that were running through her at that very moment. She loved him, but it wasn't as simple as that. She loved him more than she thought she was capable of loving. She needed him to be by her side, his presence calmed her, made her feel secure and safe. But most of all, he had become a part of her. A part that if removed would render her an empty shell void of any emotion. He was her lifeline, and so much more. And he knew this. She had told him of his importance to her before, and she couldn't help but cry the day he had told her that she equally meant that much to him.
Looking into the deep blue pools of his eyes, she whispered her reply, "I love you too Danny Messer".
Neither of them were big on overtures, and after all, it was the little things that conveyed the bigger meanings.
XXXXXX
Walking into the NYC crime lab alone, Lindsay was beaming with happiness as she waited for the elevator. Standing patiently, she started humming to Ronan Keating's 'When You Say Nothing At all', earning her knowing looks from her colleagues and passer-bys.
"Well someone looks happy."
Lindsay spun at the voice and smiled as she saw Stella approach. Giving her a friendly hug, Lindsay merely shrugged as her smile settled onto her face once more. "I can't help but look it if I feel it Stel," she genuinely replied.
Stella could only return a knowing a smile. "You my dear are deeply in love with that man," she replied earning a chuckle from Lindsay.
Stella knew better than to pry into Danny and Lindsay's love life. For one thing she didn't need to; Danny told her everything she needed to know. He was like the baby brother she never had, in more ways than one. Having grown up an orphan, her colleagues had become her family over the past few years. Danny had been there for her on countless occasions and she loved him like family. She had supported him when he came to her about his feelings for Lindsay. She was the first to be told that they were together. Danny had told her once that he was scared that he thought he'd screw it up eventually and drive Lindsay away. Stella had silenced that thought, just as any older sister would. She had more faith in him than he had in himself sometimes, and she could understand why. Danny hadn't had the best childhood and his reputation as a player preceded him. Of course, that reputation had long been silenced since he committed himself to Lindsay. In truth, she couldn't be happier for Danny. She had seen how much he had grown since Lindsay had come to New York and she couldn't help but be proud of him, of both of them.
Noticing Stella's silence, Lindsay placed her arm on Stella's shoulder. "Hey Stel, you alright?" she asked, a little concerned.
Brought back to the present by Lindsay, Stella continued to smile at Lindsay. "Everything's fine Linds, just fine," she replied.
Seemingly satisfied with her answer, Lindsay nodded as they both moved into the elevator. As the doors closed, Stella suddenly spoke up, as a thought suddenly came to her. "Hey Linds, where is Danny? You two are normally attached in more ways than one in the mornings," asked Stella, amused to see the blush that was slowly creeping onto Lindsay's face.
"He got called in to a scene on the way here, so he went straight," Lindsay replied.
"You miss him yet?" asked a grinning Stella as they both stepped off the elevator.
Rounding the corner, Lindsay replied before heading into her own office, "In more ways than one Stel."
Shaking her head, clearly amused, Stella could only imagine what Danny would be like. If Lindsay's this happy, Danny would be intolerable. Silently chuckling to herself, she flashed a smile as Mac passed by, popping into Lindsay's office.
"Hey Lindsay, no new cases today so you can catch up with any paperwork you have left," said Mac entering the shared office.
Looking up from her report, Lindsay gave Mac a grateful smile. "Thanks Mac," she replied.
"No problem, and before you ask, Danny's got his hands full right now," said Mac before walking out, a knowing smile plastered on his face.
Sighing, Lindsay flashed the doorway a sarcastic smile before going back to work. At least, she was pretending to work. As always when Danny wasn't around, her mind would wander. It had been a little over 8 months since they had both returned from Montana. She could remember every second she had spent with him since then for she couldn't stand being parted from him for too long. She once thought that her need to be so close to him all the time would slowly but surely drive him away, but instead, he welcomed it. He took comfort in the fact that she needed him, just as he needed her, and she couldn't have been happier.
They had tried to keep the relationship to themselves for as long as possible, but with their friends being paid to be observant, their secrecy didn't last very long, nor were they any good at it. It wasn't hard to notice the not-so-subtle glances and looks that passed between them. When one was smiling, it usually meant that the other was close by. It had surprised her that the majority of the lab had supported them being together, a few lab techs being the exception. Their friends had showed nothing but support for them and she was eternally grateful. Even Mac was happy they had finally gotten together, but as always, he had a reason behind everything. She and Danny made a good team; they worked best together and Mac knew it.
Glancing up at the clock, Lindsay chuckled to herself before getting back to work. It was going to be a day full of day-dreaming without Danny, and there was still another 6 hours to her shift. Sighing, she grudgingly started on the next report. She was more behind on her reports than Danny was which wasn't surprising. Glancing over at his immaculate desk, Lindsay smiled. Danny was in fact a relatively tidy guy – who could cook. She couldn't help but grin to herself at the thought. It was going to be a long day.
After hours spent filling in case reports, Lindsay could finally call it a day. She hadn't heard from Danny at all for the entire day, and although half of her was getting worried, her other half could justify his silence by the severity of his case. Grabbing her bag and coat, she was about to leave when she spotted Flack walking down the hallway. 'Wasn't Flack working with Danny?' she wondered.
Running up to him, she called out his name to get his attention. She stopped short as he turned and she noticed the expression on his face change from worry to normal in a split-second. He was hiding something and she knew it. "Hey Flack, weren't you and Danny working the same case?" she enquired, adding an innocent smile just in case.
"Yeah we were, umm…what did you get up to?" asked Flack, his mask wavering slightly.
Lindsay could clearly see that he was hiding something by the uncertainty in his answer. Not willing to take the conversation any further, Lindsay took a stance before crossing her arms in front of her, clearly annoyed. "What happened Don, where's Danny?"
This was what he was afraid of. "I…don't know Linds," he replied, not willing to make eye contact with her.
"What do you mean you don't know?" asked Lindsay, her temper clearly flaring at his answer.
This was something Flack had always been afraid of, not only him but everyone else that worked with Danny and Lindsay. They were incredibly protective of one another, which meant that hiding something about one of them from the other could earn you a death sentence. He had to tell her now, before she took his head off, literally.
"I don't know where he is Linds," started Flack with a sigh. "We finished at the crime scene and were about to head back here when he got a call. He left after that and I haven't heard from him since, I swear that's all I know."
Lindsay's brain was on overdrive as she processed what Flack had just told her. Without another word, she turned on her heels and sprinted towards the elevators, silently praying to herself that Danny was safe and okay. She needed to find him.
Ten minutes later, Lindsay was running through the apartment they shared looking for any sign of him. There was nothing. He hadn't been home, and he wasn't answering his cell either. It was killing her.
She knew deep inside that something was wrong. Danny had never done this before; he would always make sure she knew where he was at all times. It was something they both did. The fact that Danny had left without a word meant that something must have happened. 'Who had called him at the crime scene?' she asked herself.Picking up the phone, she was about to dial Danny's parents before she heard the lock turn and the front door opened.
XXXXXX
Opening the door, Danny had barely gotten a chance to put a foot forward before he was engulfed by a pair of arms. He wrapped his own arms around her petite frame and held her tight, burying his face in her hair. Her scent calmed him and most of all gave him a feeling of completeness. Taking a deep breath, he pulled away. Closing and locking the door, he turned to look at her. He wanted to smile, he wanted to laugh, but at that moment, he couldn't make himself express the happiness that he knew he should be feeling. It was overpowered by the anguish and pain which he hated. He craved to feel the happiness that she provided, the sense of completeness and love that only she could give. But he couldn't. His pain didn't let him.
She could feel the tension course through his body. She didn't know how but she knew instantly something was wrong when he pulled away from her. Looking into the depth of his eyes, she could see his pain, his anger. "Danny…," she whispered. "What is it? Baby what's wrong?"
He couldn't do it. He knew he needed to tell her but he couldn't do it. She didn't need his pain. He needed to come to terms with this himself first, but until then, he couldn't tell her. "Its nothing Lindsay…I'm…I'm just tired. I'm going to bed." Without another word, he turned and headed towards the bedroom, leaving Lindsay standing alone in the hallway.
She was stunned. She didn't hear a word he had said; instead she could only focus on the haunted look in his eyes. He was hiding something, pain. She could see his pain. She wanted, no, needed to help him, but she didn't know how. He needed time, and one night was all she was willing to give him. He had given her the time when she needed it, and hell she wished he hadn't. She could remember those nights she spent alone with her nightmares, with no one to hold her. She did that to herself, but she wasn't prepared to let him do the same.
Quietly heading towards their bedroom, she peeked inside to see him lying quietly on the bed. Taking her place beside him, she settled in before letting sleep take her, never noticing the tears that escaped Danny's eyes.
XXXXXX
Lindsay's eyes fluttered as the morning came, the sun's soft rays dancing around the darkened room, waking the occupants. Sitting up, she turned to find Danny still sound asleep. He didn't get much sleep, he was having nightmares and she knew it. But still, he hadn't said anything to her, and she hadn't asked. Every time he woke up, she would pretend to be asleep. He was hurting, and it was killing her more and more by the minute.
Getting up, she padded to the bathroom to get ready for work. 15 minutes later, she was done, and noticed that Danny was still asleep. She considered calling Mac and getting him a day off, but knew better. That would only get him angry at her, and she wanted to help, not make things worse. Sighing deeply, she moved to wake him. "Danny…" she called softly, rubbing his arms. She smiled at him when he stirred, and for a second, she could see him smile back. But that soon ended as his memories caught up with him, faltering the smile as he placed his expressionless mask back on.
"Time to get up, I'm going to make breakfast," said Lindsay. Without another word she got up and left the room, leaving a bewildered Danny sitting on the bed.
'She's angry at me,' he thought. He couldn't blame her either. After all it was his fault that they were like this. He knew cutting her off was hurting her, just as much as it was hurting him, but he just didn't know what to do. He wasn't used to letting people in, he was willing to try, with Lindsay, but simply didn't know how.
Their morning was filled with a bout of awkward silence. Neither of them knew what to say to the other. Danny needed Lindsay to understand, and Lindsay wanted him to share his pain. They both wanted the same thing but couldn't will themselves to speak. Silence was all that passed between them.
Danny was called in again on the way to work, leaving Lindsay going up to their office alone. Standing silently as she waited for elevator, she laughed at her memories of yesterday.
"Well someone looks happy."
Lindsay spun at the voice and smiled as she saw Stella approach. Giving her a friendly hug, Lindsay mere shrugged as her smile settled onto her face once more. "I can't help but look it if I feel it Stel," she replied.
That feeling seemed so far away to her, but she couldn't believe that 24 hours ago she was standing in the exact spot, the happiest she had ever been, because of Danny. She let loose another empty chuckle as she realised that she stands there now, hurt and in pain, because of Danny.
The day went by slowly, as per usual when Danny wasn't around, but it was different. She hadn't been able to get any work done what so ever and had been zoning out periodically as her thoughts wandered. Lindsay jumped as her cell began to beep, indicating that she had received a message. It was from Mac. He wanted to see her in his office.
XXXXXX
Mac looked up as he saw Lindsay approach his office, waving her in as she knocked softly on the glass door. "Sit down," he instructed. This wasn't a courtesy call, he was her boss and it was his duty to keep the lab running smoothly.
Lindsay cringed when she heard Mac's tone. Nervously, she held her hands tightly together on her lap to keep herself from fidgeting. "You wanted to see me about something?" asked Lindsay.
Mac was silent for a moment before he spoke up. "I thought you told me your relationship with Danny wouldn't affect your work."
Lindsay's head shot up at the mention of Danny. "Wh…what do you mean?"
Mac continued to look at Lindsay. He could tell something was wrong between them. He had supported their relationship knowing that together they made one of the best teams. Since then, she had been jovial and more confident with herself than he had ever known, and he knew it was because of Danny. He had noticed that she had been distracted all day, and Flack had informed him that Danny wasn't being himself. Mac knew something had happened and he needed them to work it out. He needed his two CSIs at the top of their game and wasn't prepared to simply let it go.
"I've been told that Danny's not being himself and that you've been distracted all day. What going on between you two?" he asked with a softer tone.
Lindsay couldn't keep eye contact with Mac, and although she knew it made her look guilty, she didn't care. "There's nothing wrong with us Mac, at least I don't think so…" said Lindsay, trying to explain as much to herself as to her boss. "Flack said he left the crime scene yesterday after getting a phone call, and then he came home…like…I don't know Mac!" said Lindsay, exasperated. "He won't talk to me. I can see that he's hurting but he won't talk to me."
Sighing, Mac nodded. He had no clue as to what was bothering Danny, but he knew whatever it was, it was hurting Lindsay. "I can't have you both like this Lindsay," said Mac, looking intently at her once again. "You need to work this out, I'm giving you both the day off tomorrow, and I want this settled before you come back to work. Got that?"
Giving Mac a small smile, Lindsay nodded. "Thanks Mac."
"Good, now get out of here."
XXXXXX
Lindsay took pride in the fact that she knew Danny more than he probably thought she did. She knew why he didn't want to talk to her about whatever it was that was bothering him, so she decided to help him a little by pretending not to care. She knew that doing so would hurt him a little, but it would hopefully make him realise that he wanted her to care.
Danny glanced over at her as they ate in silence. He'd expected her to try and talk to him again, but it seemed that she didn't care at all. Her silence was killing him. He didn't want this, he wanted his pain to just go away, but looking at her made him nothing but annoyed. She was smiling. She had to know that something was bothering him. She'd always been able to tell when he was upset, and yet here she was…smiling at him. Why was she doing this? Glancing up at her, Danny clenched his fist as her smile made his anger rise. "What are you smiling about?" asked Danny, gruffly. He could hear the irritation in his voice, and at that moment he couldn't care less.
Lindsay couldn't help but widen her smile as she heard the plain irritation in her boyfriend's voice. 'It's working,' she thought to herself. Looking up at him, she merely shrugged as she got up to take her plate to the kitchen. Lindsay grinned as she heard Danny get up to follow her.
"I'm going out for a movie with a few friends in a little bit," Lindsay called out.
She could practically see his lips tighten as she said it and couldn't help but grin at the response she was getting from him. It took everything to contain her laughter when he asked who she was going with. In truth, her heart warmed at the question. No matter in what state he was in, his protective side always showed through when it came to her. But right now, she only had one goal in mind; to make him realise just how much he needed her.
"Oh, Stella, Peyton, and that new guy – what's his name? Darryl or something," Lindsay jovially replied.
Danny clenched his fist even tighter at the mention of the man's name. The first time they had met, Darryl had tried to hit on Lindsay, of course, with him being there it didn't get that far, but he still didn't like the guy. Whilst mentally arguing with himself, Danny never noticed that Lindsay had left to get changed until she called out to him.
"You don't have to wait for me ok? I think we're gonna go out for a little while after the movie," said Lindsay, purposely irritating him. "You should get some sleep Dan, you look tired honey," Lindsay called out before unlocking the door. "Bye!" she called out before he could put in another word.
Danny was confused. He didn't know what had just happened. He was angry and he couldn't remember why. She didn't do anything wrong, she's just going out for some fun. Why should that be upsetting him? Danny tried convincing himself that he didn't care but it was pointless. Sighing deeply, Danny headed into the bedroom. She was right; he was tired. Having lost a lot of sleep to the nightmares, an early night would do him good.
XXXXXX
Outside, Lindsay smiled to herself as she made her way into the elevator. Her plan was working…
XXXXXX
Danny woke up breathless. Breathing heavily, he glanced at the clock. 11.16pm. He'd only been asleep for half an hour. It was the same dream again. It was the same every time. Louie died, and his Ma blamed him for it. It was his fault that Louie had died, and his parents blamed him. He couldn't take it, he needed Lindsay. Tears began to run down his face once again as he glanced at the empty spot beside him. Cradling his head with his hands, he let the tears fall freely as he silently sobbed on the bed. What he didn't know was that he wasn't alone.
XXXXXX
Lindsay hadn't been out with Stella for more than 20 minutes before she told them she had to go home. She couldn't keep her mind off Danny; she needed to be with him. Lindsay didn't care if it screwed with her plan; she just needed to be there for him. She could only imagine the pain he was going through, and if she was right, he needed her now more than ever.
XXXXXX
Danny stiffened as a pair of arms held him tightly, before relaxing against the familiar body. "I'm sorry," he whispered.
Her response was to hold him tighter. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left, I thought…"
Lindsay's response was cut off as his lips caught hers in an intense kiss. Wrapping her arms around him, she groaned as he let go of all his feelings. She could feel the raw need in his kiss, the need to be closer to her, the need to hold her and most of all, the need to be held. She held on to him tightly as they pulled apart to catch their breath. Cradling his head in her hands, she looked deep into his eyes, calming him with her gaze.
Slowly, Danny began to lose himself in Lindsay's eyes. Her eyes made him forget his nightmares, the evils in the world. There was only her and the love that she was willing to give to him, the love which he craved and needed, the love that he embraced with all his strength, unwilling to see it fade.
He closed his eyes.
"Danny…"
"I need to do this Linds,"
"Okay…"
Sighing deeply, Danny began with the call he received yesterday…
"We done here Messer?" asked Flack.
Looking up from the evidence bags, Danny could see that Flack was clearly impatient to get back. "What's the hurry Flack? You late for a date?"
Rolling his eyes, Flack merely grunted. "Ha-ha, very funny Messer. It's cold and I'm dying for some coffee. Besides, I'm sure you're dying to get back to Lindsay."
Danny laughed. If only Flack knew how right he was. The body dump had taken longer than usual and he hadn't heard from Lindsay at all. Getting up, he groaned as his spine popped back into place. "Yup, we're done here. Let's head back to…" Danny stopped as his phone began ringing. Looking at the screen, he frowned. The number was withheld. "Hold on Flack, I gotta take this."
Nodding, Flack waved his hand as he headed back to the SUV.
"Messer," answered Danny.
"Mr. Messer, this is Dr. Melinda from Mercy Hospital. I'm calling about your brother Louie."
Danny's frown became more evident as the doctor continued. "I'm afraid that we can't do much for him anymore sir. Your brother's brain activity has substantially decreased until now. He's…"
"What is it? What's wrong with him?" Danny was getting frantic. He didn't need this, not right now.
"He's brain-dead."
He's brain-dead…that was all Danny could focus on as the doctor resumed her explanation of his condition. "We've informed your parents of Louie's condition. You have a choice of taking him off life support, we don't need your answer right away, but you need to think about it. I'm sorry for your loss Mr. Messer. Goodbye."
He needed to be alone. He didn't want to talk to anyone. He didn't want to see anyone.
"Danny? Hey Danny…DANNY!" yelled Flack, as Danny walked by. He didn't register that someone else talking to him. Flack watched silently as Danny got into the other car and drove off without a single word.
"I went to the bay and just stared at the sky, I turned my phone off and…I'm sorry Linds, I just didn't know what to do," said Danny.
Gathering him in her arms once again, Lindsay shut her eyes as she struggled against her own tears.
"My Ma and Pa hate me,"
Her eyes shot open at his words. "What do you mean they hate you?" asked Lindsay, louder than she intended.
"The nightmares," admitted Danny. "It's the same every time. Ma hates me, says I'm the one that killed Louie, and Pa thinks it's my fault, that I'm a disgrace. They hate me Linds." The admission set Danny off once more. He didn't want her to see him like this, weak and vulnerable, but he quickly set those thoughts aside. He didn't care anymore, he needed her.
Suddenly, Lindsay understood the stem of Danny's pain. Family meant everything to him, and even thought he didn't have the most perfect of them, his parents meant the world to him, as did his brother. Louie had ended up brain-dead trying to clear Danny's name. She knew he felt guilty, but for the first time, she witnessed the brunt of his pain. Not knowing what to say, she gathered him in her arms and held him tight, making her presence known to him through the tears. She closed her eyes, willing her tears to not fall. She needed to be strong for Danny; it was time for her to be there for him.
As the tears subsided, Danny looked up into Lindsay's eyes, stunned. In her eyes he could see the love he so craved, the love she was willing to give to him. He was losing himself in her eyes before he shaking himself free when he realised she was talking to him.
"Danny," said Lindsay softly. Danny turned away. "Look at me Danny," she said more sternly. "Your parents don't hate you Danny, they're worried about you, and they love you."
"How, how would you know?" asked Danny, louder than he wanted. He just wanted the pain to go away. He couldn't stand any more pain. 'No more pain…'
"They called me at the lab earlier," explained Lindsay a smile forming on her lips. "They're worried about you Dan, they care, and they could never hate you."
Danny had no answer for her. He simply pulled Lindsay closer, letting the heat from her body warm him, making him feel whole again. 'She's a part of me I can't bare to part with…'
"I'm sorry about Louie," whispered Lindsay who gasped as Danny tightened his embrace. "It's not you're fault."
"Yes it is," whispered Danny. That was his only answer as he shut his eyes, hoping the tears wouldn't return.
"No, it's not, and it never will be," she replied.
"Your parents are coming here tomorrow. They want to see you," said Lindsay softly, running her fingers through Danny's short hair soothingly.
Hearing her words, Danny stiffened once again. "I, I can't…"
"Yes you can," replied Lindsay. There was no doubt in her voice, only certainty.
"I can't face them, not yet Linds…I can't," whimpered Danny, his fears overtaking his already tired mind once again.
Taking a deep breath, Lindsay pulled away a little, enough so she could look into his eyes, eyes that told her of his fears. "You're scared. I can see it in your eyes."
"I don't want them to hate me," Danny replied, his voice barely a whisper.
"That's not what you're scared of is it Danny? You're scared that I'm going to leave you," stated Lindsay, her eyes focused on his.
"Linds…" started Danny before another bout of tears took over. "Please don't leave me, I…I need you…please don't…"
"Listen to me Danny. Look at me," said Lindsay her voice, filled with strength and support. "LOOK AT ME!"
His tears subsided; Danny looked up to Lindsay once again, ashamed at his own moment of weakness.
"You once told me that you'd always be there for me, and you have. Now it's your turn. Listen to me. I love you Danny, and that includes your faults. You're not perfect, nor am I. We're human. We make mistakes, we deal them. Not alone, but together. I'm here for you Danny, and we're going to get through this, together," said Lindsay, confidently before softly adding, "I'm not going anywhere cowboy." Her spirits lifted as she saw him smile at his nickname.
She was his ' Montana', he was her cowboy. They matched in any every imaginable way. Leaning closer, she kissed him, pouring into that kiss all the love she could muster.
He had been there for her in her time of need. Now it was her turn to be there – for him.
A/N: I hope you guys liked this, please review and tell me what you thought.
Many thanks,
Messermonroe