Sakura had always considered eighteen to be too young an age to die, even for a shinobi. Sadly, that didn't exclude the fate of her team-mate Uzumaki during his fated and gruesome battle with Pain, leader of the Akatsuki and Sage of the Six Paths.
Hinata was dead too, having thrown away her life in a possibly misguided attempt to protect the one who held her heart, albeit without his knowledge. Chakra rods had been staked throughout her entire body, piercing every single one of her vital organs in such a way that she would not die of her injuries themselves, but by bleeding to death. Sakura had been there and witnessed the event. Her surrounding pool of blood had been so much larger than she had detachedly expected. It reached out all around her in the exact same way her tentative yet loving and caring personality used to imitate... it mixed in with Naruto's, like some sick version of a blood bond that would tie them together in the afterlife; which, in a weird sense, comforted her. She liked the idea of neither of them being alone in death or anywhere else. They would be good for each other. Her funeral which had taken place two days ago meant that Hanabi was now the Hyuuga heir. She would be lying if she said Hinata's father Hiashi wasn't pleased with the news.
It made her sick to think about it.
Kakashi barely managed to survive the Jesus no Jutsu which completely demolished their beloved village; the home of all their memories, loved ones and futures.
They had no future.
They were shinobi.
They killed, only to be killed in turn.
Perhaps Naruto was right about everyone coming to understand one another someday. Even Pain knew what he was talking about, to some extent. Maybe the Akatsuki wasn't even all that bad. They did, after all, want to create a utopia of peace and love for the world. Granted, their methods have been questioned time and time again, but in the end everyone always says it's the thought that counts. So pain thought he could save the world. Sakura considered the fact that perhaps a cookie would be in his debt for having a good heart and good intentions.
It was all Sasuke's fault, or so Sakura liked to think. It was because of him she failed to train as she should have. It was because of him and his stupid defection from Konoha right after the Chuunin exams that their team fell apart. Team 7 became team 2.5, Sakura barely qualifying as a half decent ninja at the age of twelve when she should have been able to hold her own in a battle without needing him and Naruto to protect her all the damn time. But then again, maybe it was actually her own fault- she let herself be distracted. She doted over Sasuke every hour of every day. When thought back on, she realized that if she were in sasuke's position she would most certainly have acted the same way- belittled her, pushed her away, and definitely not have returned her unrequited love. Either way, Sasuke was now a cold, heartless missing-nin with the intention of destroying Konoha... not that there was anything left of it. Sasuke should learn something or other from Pain and learn to take the initiative instead of sitting on his ass, complaining about his elder brother. But at least he trained- that's more than she could say for herself.
And then there was the woman she secretly considered to be her surrogate mother- Tsunade was showing her age after the impact of Pain and destruction. Her skin was wrinkled, her chakra reserve gone; having been distributed in order to save the lives of everyone in the entire village. She was now in critical care in a makeshift hospital tent not five minutes away, no doubt fighting for her life. Despite everything that sakura had done to save her, deep in her heart, she knew that nothing would be able to save her life. The Hokage was as good as dead.
Her parents were already dead, have been since she was thirteen years old. She had no family now.
Kakashi was never there for her as a genin, or now. He would have been considered to be her surrogate father figure, had he not completely ignored her and her potential on favour of Naruto's kyuubi and Sasuke's prodigious abilities. Sakura honestly felt next to nothing for the silver-haired porn obsessed jounin ninja. She was the last of her team now.
She had nowhere to go.
War had such a strong effect on people, both as a mass and as individuals. Death ensured one would never forget what it feels like to lose something precious forever without the chance of ever getting it back. War ensured loss. Death ensured loneliness. Both combined endured twofold the emotion of wanting to die and just be able to finally forget and start anew. It would be the best thing for her now- the best thing for everyone. There was nothing else that she could do. Was there?
She could just look at herself now, tattered and bloody and hopeless and pathetic from being on her knees completely covered from head to toe in dirt and grime and screaming helplessly for Naruto to come and save the day, the village falling to pieces all around her. And Naruto had come.
Was there ever a time when Naruto hadn't done anything for her?
...Oh. Wait. Nevermind. What a stupid, stupid question to ask herself. Obviously there was never a time when Naruto would not have come to her aid if she had requested it. He was in love with her, after all. Not to sound conceited or anything; but honestly. He did everything for her and more. From the time when they were still a trio of genin and Sasuke had left to avenge his clan, sakura had run screaming for Naruto to bring Sasuke back no matter what. Naruto had willingly accepted her pleas without an ounce of worry unto himself- he only wanted to do what was right, and hopefully win her love, or at least her appreciation, in return.
Sakura felt nothing but an overwhelming tsunami of guild, remorse and regret every single time she thought of her boisterous, loving and so, so determined blonde team-mate. She had in fact come to appreciate Naruto. The only problem was, she realized her love for him too late. She was there, with Hinata and Naruto when they died. Of everything he could have said to her on his death bed, Naruto apologized profusely for failing her in his promise to return Sasuke to him. She remembered with painful clarity how tears had clouded his so usually vivid and expressive bright blue eyes. The heartfelt desperation and suffering in his tore her heart apart- ripped her heart to shreds. He had passed on holding her hand which was not busy attempting to heal his wounds; her name being the last word to leave his mouth in a death rattle tinged with a note of pleading, final begging for forgiveness which had tears streaming down her dirt streaked face. Once she came to with the fact that Naruto had indeed died, she moved over three feet to Hinata's side and scanned her body with what little chakra she had left- the results left her choking on a sobbing breath as Hinata just barely managed to turn her head in her direction- and she smiled. She smiled a small smile with huge implications, filled with love, hope, appreciation, friendship and responsibility.
"Please, don't cry, Sakura-chan. I will take good care of him for you. I promise." Hinata paused to breathe in but instead choked on a mouthful of blood. She managed to cough most of it up, causing it to stream down her face in dark crimson rivulets which spread into her hair and turned it a sick shade of reddish-purple. She reached over and grasped one of Sakura's hands in a surprisingly tight grip. "Sakura-chan," she breathed out slowly. "Th-" more blood spewed from her lips. Hinata tried to cough it up but to no avail. Sakura tried to help by desperately pushing chakra into her lungs to stop the flow of blood.
Her chakra fizzled out.
Sakura panicked. She grabbed on to Hinata's shoulders and shook her fragile frame rougher than she should have, but in that moment she didn't care. She just needed Hinata to wake up.
"Hinata? Hinata-chan!" Nothing. "Hi-Hinata-sama! Please, please wake up. Wake up for me. Please, Hinata!"
Hinata's eyelids moved slightly from the pupil moving against her lids, proof that she was still alive. Sakura was about to call her name again when the kunoichi before her managed to open her eyes halfway and meet Sakura's gaze. She offered another tiny smile.
"Sa-" she choked a bit on more blood. "Th... thank you. For everything. I... will do my best to watch over you too."
The grip on Sakura's arm lifted. Hinata was dead.
It was then that Sakura associated the hollowness ravaging her body with the insane knowledge that Pain of the Akatsuki was right- about everything.
Jiraiya was a huge part of Naruto's life. They had spent three years together training up at Mount Myoboku so Naruto could train to become a Sage. He was fiercely strong. He was noble. He was... Naruto. Sakura wished so, so desperately that she would have dropped her petty affection for Sasuke and given him the time of day. Jiraiya, on the other hand, was a peeping tom (also killed by Pain), but everybody had their flaws, did they not? This was just yet another thing that war broadcasted, and yet another thing that Sakura had come to learn.
She was now starting to come to terms with what Kakashi used to always say about feeling older than he really was. He had grown up in war as a child, didn't he? He must have felt back then what she was only now experiencing for the first time- the only thing was, was that now he was feeling it again. Sakura idly wondered if this would cause him to crack. Somehow she figured she wouldn't be in the least surprised if she turned out to be correct in her assumptions.
Kurenai-sensei and her team had taken a very brutal beating from this war combined with Pain's invasion. Hinata had died, leaving Kiba and Shino as mere shells of what they used to be, personality wise and as a shinobi. Kurenai lost her baby, her only living memory of her only real love, Asuma-sensei, leaving her to fall into a depression so deep that Sakura honestly feared for the life of her that she would never be able to get back up on her own two feet.
Meanwhile, Ino, her long-time friend/rival and her genin team-mates Shikamaru and Chouji were still struggling with the loss of Asuma. Sakura wished that she could relate- she really, honest to god did, but she and her sensei were far away from having a relationship that one would be able to call 'decent'. She never knew what it was like to have a true sensei until Tsunade-sama decided to take her under her wing for apprenticeship as a medical ninja. It was then, and only then, that sakura began to find out who she really truly was. She had gained confidence, strength, a mother and unconditional love from her Hokage in the three years they had worked closely together. She wouldn't have traded it for anything in the world... even Sasuke.
Tsunade also shared Sakura's feelings of losing both love and a team-mate. Orochimaru had also defected from Konoha many years ago, earning the nickname of the Snake Sannin and marking Sasuke, which in turn created the opening for his own defection as well. Sakura would never be able to forgive either of them for that, even if they came back to Konoha on their hands and knees and begging for a second chance.
"Dan was his name," Tsunade once told her after a few too many shots of sake last year in the late summer when she was getting too stressed from all the paperwork and had decided to take a break which went awry. "He was the love of my life. He was injured in a battle we fought together... I was unable to save him." Tears soaked her skin that night in a way sakura would never be able to forget. She had looked so much older than usual that day, stressed out beyond belief and just too tired and depressed to care. She and Tsunade shared the same life story.
So here she stood, in front of two shallow graves which were marked by nothing but a mid-size stone bearing roughly, impatiently carved names and the date of birth and date of death. She read them in order, from left to right.
Naruto Uzumaki October 10, 1993- July 17, 2012
Hinata Hyuuga December 27, 1993- July 17, 2012
Rock Lee June 29, 1992- July 17, 2012
Iruka Umino May 26, 1974- July 17, 2012
Shizune KatÅ November 25, 1970- July 17, 2012
Inoichi Yamanaka January 24, 1968- July 17, 2012
These were only of the graves sitting directly in front of her. She glanced around at the scene before her- crushed and demolished buildings, tamped dirt, the look made complete with a huge-ass crater in the dead center of the village. Pain had a sick sense of humor, doing this to them, to her. But she had to honestly admit that he had effectively made his point... perhaps too effectively.
She stood alone amongst a sea of buried corpses and a bone-chilling breeze which carried with it the calls, whispers and screams of the dead in a village which held no home, no place and people to look forward to.
She was a dead woman waiting for her freedom.
Her father's tanto rested securely in between her shoulder blades. She reached behind herself and lifted upwards, the sound of metal grinding against metal filling the air around her with an eerie sort of silence. The blade now rested in her hands, ready to do her bidding.
Turning the blade around so the hilt was in her hands, she held it out in front of her with the blade precisely two inches from her chest. She took one last sweeping glance of her surroundings and then plunged the blade into her abdomen, hacking it upwards and then to the side.
It was time to join her parents, her teacher, her mentor, her godfather, and her team-mates, her one true family, once again. This time they would stay together, no matter what. She would make sure of it.
This is a darker one-shot, but I'm proud of it. :3
Feel free to drop a review or comment (really, I appreciate and love them so much!)