The insufferable knocking just wouldn't let up, so Ste had to leave his comfortable warm haze on the sofa to the cold embrace of the outside world.
You can get through this, you will get through this
On this walk over to the door Ste straightened himself out, he looked a mess but he didn't care, not today. His day off, he could do as he pleased. It just so happened that today he was pleased to be home alone sprawled out on the sofa dreaming...Nightmares.
They'll fade just as the memories will
Ste hoped it wasn't Amy with the kids, she said she wanted to take them to Mike's for the day. As much as Ste loved his little family, one day off was nice once and awhile and earned...Ste thought so anyway.
Ste opened the door hoping this encounter wouldn't last long as he would like to return to the safety of the sofa, he really didn't have the energy today. When his eyes adjusted to the sight of the Irishman in front of him, ready to knock on the door again, Ste was a bit more then taken a back.
"What do you want?" Ste asked coldly
"Stephen, look I'm sorry I hit you but you-"
"Just shut up!" Ste shouted cutting across Brendan "I don't want to hear your excuses, your lies, I'm through Brendan once and for all, end of,"
"Stephen, come on don't go all girly on me," Brendan replied but Ste could tell he instantly regretted it, but he wasn't going to stand around and listen to him try and dig himself out of this one.
"I don't care what you think Brendan, I just want you outta my life," Ste stated
"You...You don't mean that,"
Brendan was still just outside of the house, Ste blocked his entrance and he intended to keep it that way, he knew once Brendan was in he was start the manipulation.
"Brendan it doesn't matter what you think, this is me closing the door on you, us, literally and finally," Ste said closing the door. But suddenly Brendan's foot was in the doorway, in a fit of anger Ste pushed more forcefully on the door to make it shut. Brendan's foot stayed in position though so he had to give up. Ste turned and went back in to the house, he hoped Brendan would go away, but he knew he wouldn't.
Ste sat on the sofa and tried to return to the state he was in before
"Stephen...?" Ste looked up to see Brendan standing right in front of him.
Stephen tried to keep calm but Brendan was not the only who had a temper on him
"Brendan! What is your problem! Why can't you just leave, walk out of here and leave me alone! You've done nothing but harm my life from the moment you entered it, you're the one who keeps pushing me away so take your own advice and go,"
His touch on you the first time, you felt so alive
"Stephen it's the way it has to be with us, you know that, I didn't mean any of that,"
The way he wanted you next him after the second time
Ste's head was whirling memories for coming back and it was Brendan's fault
"You did though! You still do, I don't know why you want me back on side, I'm sure Mitzee is a perfect companion for you," Ste spat standing up to face Brendan
"Shut up! You know the situation, I have to make sure-" Brendan vexed using his height to his advantage
"Make sure your protected, make sure no one ever finds out what the real Brendan Brady is like," Ste dared holding his gaze with Brendan
His kiss
"Stephen...you know me, what I-"
"No, the Brendan I know, is nothing like the one standing in front of me, the Brendan I know never leaves the Bedroom, you're. Not. Him,"
When he comes looking for you
Ste was breaking up he couldn't take it, his emotions were being mixed with want for Brendan but he didn't want it, he wanted Brendan out of the house.
"Stephen what are you talking about, I, Stephen please I need you,"
"Why? Taking another trip to Spain?"
"Don't be ridiculous," Brendan looked appalled
The time in office just before you were caught, the pure ecstasy of the moment
Ste wanted to cry, it was too much, he just couldn't send this man away. Ste took a shaky breath looked down at the floor then back at Brendan
All those nights
How it is when you're alone
How despite everything, he would do anything to protect you
All those morning
"Brendan I...I can't,"
"I know Stephen I know," Brendan replied taking a willing Ste in his arms.
Somewhere in the embrace they started kissing, Ste wasn't quite sure how it started but he knew it felt right. They pulled back for air and their foreheads naturally leaned in to one another
"Stephen...I...I think,"
"What?"
"I think I love you," Brendan breathed
Stephen pulled back completely and looked at Brendan speechless
"Stephen? Stephen? Ste? Ste?,"
Ste opened his eyes sharply to find Amy staring down at him
"Break's over can you please watch Lea and Lucas while I go out for a bit?"
Ste felt the area around him, the sofa.
"Err Sure," Ste replied quietly
"Thanks," Amy said smiling kissing Ste on the cheek before saying good bye to the kids and leaving
It wasn't until the door slammed shut that Ste broke down
The way you dream about him constantly
"Just a dream, just a fucking dream!" Ste shouted to himself standing up and heading to the bedroom
Not a dream a nightmare and they were becoming more frequent
Ste stared at himself in the bedroom mirror, what was happening, he wasn't quite sure, what he did know was he had done the right thing, he had walked out, it was over
"It's Over," Ste whispered
It's not over...