Author's Note: So, I began writing this as a spur of the moment thing a few months ago while looking up things about Mario characters. I'm up to about four or five chapters now, so they'll be posted soon. Read and review please.

Disclaimer: I don't own Mario nor any of his minions

I was strolling through the gardens in front of the castle. The gardens of Sarasaland have been proven to have some of the most unique and beautiful flowers of anywhere around, even Mushroom Kingdom. But then again, none of the other kingdoms took pride in their gardens. I stopped to sniff one of the fire flowers, careful not to set it off, and my second in command, Toad, came up to me.

"Princess Daisy!" he called loudly, hopping up and down so to catch my attention. I turned from the flower, and asked him, "What's the matter, Toad? Can't you see I'm busy? I have a baseball game in an hour, and this is the only part of the day that I can smell the flowers!"

Toad nodded but persisted in his pestering. "I apologize, Princess Daisy, but there's urgent new from Mushroom Kingdom."

"What's that frigid little bitch gone and done this time?" I moaned, sitting down on a stone bench in front of a hedge. Toad followed and stood in front of me. "What, did she set fire to another bank?"

"Please, Princess Daisy, watch your language…no, she appears to have been kidnapped again."

"Again?" I hissed.

"Yes, and she has requested that you take over her reign of Mushroom Kingdom for the time being until she is recovered. Mario and Luigi have said that they're going to go looking for her tomorrow, but they need you there in the castle by the time they leave. Normally, the Toads there would take over the job, but they're all afraid that more Koopas will break the barrier and try to steal things or take over the castle again, which is too much hassle for her."

"I refuse to organize my life around her problems. So she got kidnapped? Big deal. If the little whore wasn't playing such a big cocktease to Bowser half the time, this wouldn't be a problem."

"Princess Daisy!" Toad shouted, blushing furiously. "Watch your language! This is serious!"

"No. I think it's about time that Peach got what she deserves. I don't think that she deserves Mushroom Kingdom. After all, look at her; she's off banging Bowser every few weeks and taking those long vacations, causing Mario to have an ulcer or something. It's ridiculous. And I'm fucking bored; I'm tired of waiting around for another sports game or Mario Party. I want to have some fun. I think it's time we kill Peach."

"PRINCESS DAISY! You can't kill her! She's the head of the Mushroom Kingdom, the most important and prestigious kingdom in all the lands!"

"And where does Sarasaland rank on this?" I roared, standing up quickly and grabbing Toad by his collar, pulling him up to my face and shaking him. "Why should she get all the glory? What all has she done? Her fame was derived from her being "kidnapped" all these years and Mario saving her. It sickens me! I was kidnapped once too, but my fame never took off, now did it? I think I deserve my chance to shine, Toad! Mario Parties and sports can only get me so far, and I refuse to be her cart partner anymore. I need my fame, and I need Mushroom Kingdom!" I dropped him to the ground. "I have a plan."

"Princess Daisy, you can't do this! She's important to everyone! If you killed her, I predict that the whole world as we know it would shatter!"

"What, because she wasn't sleeping with the heads of every kingdom?" I asked, walking slowly across the emerald grass and up to the stone steps to the castle. "It'll make headlines for a few days, but then no one will care anymore. She hasn't even done anything, you know. She's a horrible leader." We headed down the main hallway of the castle, passing by the Toads and Toadettes who worked in each room. I nodded to a few of them.

"You're not exactly the best leader either, Princess Daisy!"

I spun around quickly and glared at him. "Me? Not a good leader? You are a complete idiot, Toad! I'm the best leader that Sarasaland has ever seen! My father may have been good, but I'm by far better, and I'm much better than Peach could ever hope of being. I may not have been up to par these past few weeks but that's simply because I'm bored and I have absolutely nothing to do around here! With another kingdom, I could easily become the best leader this world has ever seen."

"And if you don't? What if you crack under pressure?"

"Then, I won't crack under pressure then. Trust me, I'll be fine." We headed towards the kitchens where a few Toadettes were scurrying around, trying to finish up the lunch for the day. I sat down on a stool and spun myself around a few times before facing Toad again. "Let's make this plan then, shall we? Someone make me something to eat! I'm starving."

Toadettes rushed food to me, which I accepted gratefully and wolfed down. "I'll go to Mushroom Kingdom tonight, and I'll be there just in time for Mario and Luigi's departure in the morning. But, I'm not staying there. I'm going to go with them, and then I'll kill her."

A few Toadettes stopped in their place, stared at me for a moment, and then continued with their work. I munched on an apple that was on my plate for a moment before adding, "I'm going to need some help, however. Who could we possibly hire to help me with this?"

"No idea, Princess Daisy. I'm still against this idea, and I seriously think that you should rethink it, because if they found out…"

"If they find out, then they find out. Big deal. It's not like I have the best of friendships with her anyway, it should be something that they would expect by now. Now, let's see. I think if we can track one of the Birdos down that could help us a lot. Those boys are rough!"

"Boys? I thought they were…"

"They're transsexuals. A little scary; I'd rather not be around them myself, but they can sure sock an egg into someone's face. I've had my bad experiences, but Sarasaland signed a treaty when I was about three, and they've been nesting in the southern part for quite a while now. Who else could we hire? Yoshis?"

"Yoshi and his clan are currently in mating season. It'd be wise not to disturb them now, as I hear that they're rather violent."

"Then, we'll just have to get Peach's ex-boyfriend then, won't we?"

"Who would that be? Mario?"

"No!"

"Bowser?"

"No!"

"Luigi?"

"N – they're dating? Since when?"

"It's just a rumor."

"Well, no anyway. Fox McCloud. He's an expert, and she broke his heart a few weeks ago. Poor guy. He'll do anything to kick her ass nowadays, though. I've got contacts with Link from Hyrule and Samus, though she's probably on vacation now."

"Anyone else?" Toad was sitting on the stool next to mine, writing down the names on a clipboard. "I've got a lot of work to do to get these guys, so you might want to hurry."

"Wario? I doubt it, he's a fat, greasy old man, he'll jump for the first blonde bimbo he sees, and I'm sure he's already slept with her."

"I heard you get blinded."

"I'd rather not hear things about that, thank you. Anyway, I think that's all of the assassins we'll need for the moment unless you want to go into town and hire a few ex-Koopas although I hear that they think Toad is a delicacy…"

"I'd rather not, Princess Daisy."

I smiled softly. "I didn't think so. If all things go well…I could rule Mushroom Kingdom by the end of the week! And, once I did, you would be second in command!"

"I thought I already was."

"But of the Mushroom Kingdom, not just Sarasaland's kingdom. You'd also get power over everyone else in the castle, except me, of course."

"Okay! I'll get right on this then, Princess Daisy!"

"Great. Well, I need to leave. I have my baseball game soon."

The next morning was rather uneventful. I had packed the night before, but it was raining, so I had to put on my raincoat, which was exactly like my dress, and it looked like I was wearing my normal dress when I put it on. Toad packed my fancy umbrella, a gift from my mother before she was savaged by a pack of rabid Koopas. My father had died of heartache, or because the prostitute he was with took both of his kidneys. Pity. Anyway, I had ruled the kingdom since, and whenever it rained, Mother's umbrella went with me. We got into the long car, which I believed was compensating for something Toad lacked, and he began driving both us down to Mushroom Kingdom. The ride was bumpy, and I heard the scream of a few Goombas as he ran over them.

A few hours later, Peach's castle came into view, although it was hard to see through the foggy glass. I became excited as I saw the Mario Brothers plumbing truck out front. As far as I knew, they had never actually plumbed a pipe but liked to put on the façade that they were. I found it hilarious, but not many people knew about this. Toad opened my door for me, and helped me with my umbrella. I headed towards the bridge in front of her castle and entered.

"Good morning!" I called. "Hi, I'm Daisy!"

I saw Luigi hurry down the staircase towards me. We hugged for a moment, and he said, "My, Daisy, you look even more beautiful than the last time I saw you."

"Flattery will only get you to first base, dear Luigi. Where's Mario at?"

Luigi looked angry at the sound of Mario's name but motioned up the stairs. "He decided to take a nap in her bedroom before we left. He's probably digging through her underwear drawer right now, the little pervert."

I giggled for a moment and headed up the stairs and knocked on Peach's bedroom door. There was a crash and a lot of shuffling, but a few seconds later Mario was at the door. "Oh! Daisy, you're here. Nice to see you again!" he said, walking back to the first level. "I had to bring this whiney little bitch along because I need a little more help this time. Bowser has extra security or something."

Luigi looked even angrier, but who wouldn't? I walked back down with them.

"Well, make sure that you mind the castle, Daisy. We won't be gone for more than a few days."

"I'm not staying here."

They both turned around quickly, looking confused. "What do you mean, Daisy? You're supposed to stay here, in the castle, while we go look for Peach."

"I want to come along. I think it's about time that I get to be the hero." Or villain.

"It's much too dangerous," Luigi said quickly. "And besides, you don't have any training."

"I have my golf club and a hammer from one of our Mario Parties with me. I think I can protect myself. I'm a princess in a kingdom infested with Birdos, Luigi, I'm sure I'll be fine."

"No, it's not like that. Bowser has a thing for young princesses, and…"

"If he touches me, I'll cut his balls off."

There was an awkward silence.

"Well, you know, Daisy is the tough one. She was only kidnapped once, and that was a long time ago. And besides, if we let you go, Luigi, we should let her go."

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"

I smiled and hugged Mario tightly so he could get a full sniff. "Thank you so much, Mario. Let's go."

I would soon be Princess of Mushroom Kingdom.