Dean walked into the abandoned building in his usual pissed off mood by slamming the door behind him. Sam looked up from his research giving an annoyed yet concerned look at his brother. He watched as Dean took out another bottle of whiskey. It was his third bottle in a week. Dean saw his brother looking at him.

"What?" He asked coldly as he opened the fresh bottle and started pouring it into a glass.

"Nothing." Sam responded returning to his books.

"Damn right nothing." Dean slammed the bottle of whiskey down on the table and walked towards his mildewed covered bed. Sam rolled his eyes and stood up. He was sick of this shit.

"Dean I'm really getting tired of this." Dean just huffed in response. "Why won't you just talk to him?" Dean stopped mid drink and gave Sam a dirty look.

"Talk to him? And why the hell would I want to do that Sam?"

"Dean, do I really have to say it?" Dean set the drink on the floor and stood up then walked over to his brother.

"Sam, I don't want to have this conversation. What happened never happened and I would just like to forget it, ok Sammy?" He turned around to go back to his drink but Sam clearly wasn't done with the conversation.

"I don't see what the big deal is?" Dean turned on his heals

"Really? You don't see why it's a big deal?" He shouted back. "Come on Sam!"

"Dean it was just a kiss!"

"Just a kiss with a guy!" He yelled flinging his arms in the air.

"Ok yes technically a guy but also an angel. And I still don't see why it matters Dean. You clearly have feelings fo-" Dean charged at him and grabbed Sam's jacket.

"Don't you finish that sentence!" Sam was overwhelmed with surprise at Dean's reaction. He gently laid his hands on his brother's clenched fist.

"Dean, why are you acting like this?" Dean's eyes became watery and tears started to fall. He slowly let go of his brother and hung his head.

"Sam..Sam you don't know…"

"Don't know what?" Sam sounded so concerned as he watched his brother slowly crumble before him.

"About what Dad did." He looked so ashamed as the tears fell and splashed on the dirty floor.

"What did dad do Dean?" Dean shook his head. "Dean. Tell me, you clearly need to talk about this." Dean sniffled and turned his back to his brother. He couldn't bare to face him now that he was going to talk.

"Sam, dad knew."

"Knew what?"

"That I liked dude's, ok?" They were both silent for a moment with only the sounds of Dean sniffling. "Dad he uh he caught me looking at guys when I was younger. Did you ever wonder why I go after every single woman I can get my hands on? Dad started buying me porn magazines and made me read them and whenever we were alone together and he'd see gays he would tell me how disgusting it was, that it was unholy, and how only real men slept with women. I wanted to be just like him Sam and I wanted to be a real man. I wanted my father to look at me and not be disgusted with me." Dean lost it. He fell on the floor putting his head in his hands. He had held all this in his whole life and now it was pouring out of him and he couldn't control himself. Sam walked over and knelt behind him. He put his hand on his back to just let him know he was there. "And then." Dean continued through sobs, "Cas comes in our lives and all these feelings I've fought down with women and alcohol just started coming back. Cas has done so much for me, for us, and I couldn't fight it. I love him Sam." Sam stayed silent and let his brother cry so he could get it all out. Once Dean had stopped crying. He stood up and then sat down on the bed; Sam sat beside him.

"Dad was a dick, Dean. You can't control who you fall for and it's not disgusting or unholy. It's natural and you aren't less of a man for admitting you like men if anything you are more of a man to admit it and stand up for who you are. I still love you Dean nothing is going to change that. When you are ready, I think you should call Cas." Dean nodded in agreement while wiping his face clean.