Why Should I Care?
by kagome-hime
Angst/Romance
PG-13 (I don't really think so, but this way no one gets offended!)

(A/N): Yes, I do realize that this contains actual scenes from the manga,
it's supposed to. I would say that this has spoilers up to graphic novel
eight (maybe it's nine). Anyway, this is kind of my look at a different
route that Kagome and Inuyasha could have taken after she sees Inuyasha and
Kikyou together in book number eight (I think). I hope you enjoy! Also I
suggest that you check out this song sometime if you read this fic, it is
really hard to grasp how angsty it is unless you actually hear the song.
Now, on to the fic!

Disclaimer: Inuyasha and co. are not my property, they belong to Rumiko
Takahashi. Losing Grip is a song by Avril Lavigne, so I don't own that
either. I'm making no money off of this. So there, now there is no reason
to sue me!

^Are you aware of what you make me feel, baby?^
^Right now I feel invisible to you,^
^Like I'm not real.^

Inuyasha is resting on his customary branch in the god tree, staring at the
night sky. At the bottom of the tree stands Kagome, looking at Inuyasha with
an expression that seems to fall somewhere between longing and pity. He is
completely oblivious to her.

^Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you?^

A weeping Kagome runs into Inuyasha's unknown embrace. Kagome cries onto
Inuyasha's chest as her concern for him diminishes. She has just returned
from being sealed in her time after he stole the shikon no tama from her.
Soon after this, they share a moment in which Inuyasha reveals to her that he
wants her beside him.

^Why'd you turn away?^

Inuyasha leaves Kagome soon after his admission, searching for Kikyou.

^Here's what I have to say:^
^I was left to cry there,^
^Waiting outside there,^
^Grinning with a lost stare.^

Wandering through the forest is Kagome. Her arms and face are scratched up
from the brush and her hair holds some small twigs and leaves. She pushes
through some more of the abrasive brush and sharp branches to find a clearing
in which Kikyou is lying against a tree.

^That's when I decided:^
^Why should I care?^
^'Cause you weren't there when I was scared,^
^I was so alone.^

Kagome is pinned to a tree by Kikyou's shini-dama-chuu. She looks on in
shocked silence as Inuyasha walks past her, without pause, to Kikyou's side:
folding her in his embrace. As Kikyou pulls Inuyasha to her and kisses him
Kagome turns her head away in distress and humiliation.

^You, you need to listen.^
^I'm starting to trip,^
^I'm losing my grip,^
^And I'm in this thing alone.^

When Kagome and Inuyasha are free from Kikyou's control Inuyasha looks
guiltily at the ground. Kagome begins to reach out for him but then she
hesitates. Drawing her hand away, a hurt expression on her face, she turns
and stumbles through the forest back to Miroku and Shippou. Inuyasha remains
in the clearing, turning to gaze at her retreating form.

^Am I just some chick you placed beside you^
^To take somebody's place?^

Kagome is trailing behind the others as they continue along the path to
Kaede's village. Inuyasha leads the group on, never once daring to look back
at Kagome. She looks beyond Shippou and Miroku to stare dejectedly at him,
unable to erase the image of him and Kikyou locked in each other's arms from
her mind.

^When you turn around can you recognize my face?^

The small group stops to rest. Kagome intently observes the grass as she
thinks back to when Inuyasha was pinned to the god tree and awoke to see her
for the first time.

'Kikyou,' she thought morosely. 'He called me Kikyou.'

^You used to love me,^
^You used to hug me,^

A faint smile touches Kagome's lips as she fondly recalls the night she held
a human Inuyasha in her lap as he slept.

'Surely it was me he was thinking of then, not Kikyou,' Kagome attempted to
convince herself.

^But that wasn't the case:^
^Everything wasn't okay.^

Kagome lifts her head to find Inuyasha staring at her. When their eyes meet
he turns away from her apologetically, unable to look her in the eyes.

She struggled to suppress a gasp. 'Inuyasha… he hasn't… chosen her over me,
has he? Has the relationship we've been developing recently… returned to
what it once was?'

^I was left to cry there,^
^Waiting outside there,^
^Grinning with a lost stare.^

Suddenly she recalls when her soul was ripped from her body and returned to
Kikyou as Inuyasha called out for Kikyou instead of her.

'Is that my answer,' she questioned herself, disbelievingly. 'That time… had
he already made his decision then?'

^That's when I decided:^
^Why should I care?^
^'Cause you weren't there when I was scared,^
^I was so alone.^

Kagome's mind returns to the memory of lying, paralyzed in the foul water
that had enabled her soul to be released as Inuyasha clutched Kikyou's body to
him. Her mind reels in terror as she fears she may never be able to return
to her own body. Inuyasha does not even glance at her as he focuses only on
Kikyou.

^You, you need to listen.^
^I'm starting to trip,^
^I'm losing my grip,^
^And I'm in this thing alone.^

As they begin to near Kaede's village, Kagome heads directly for the well.
Inuyasha considers trying to stop her but finds himself feeling too ashamed
to follow her. Kagome's chest begins to tighten when she realizes that
Inuyasha is not coming after her as she jumps through the well.

^Crying out loud,^
^I'm crying out loud.^

Kagome curls herself into a ball in the corner of the well, sobbing
miserably. Breathing deeply, she manages to break off her tears and climbs
out of the well. She gently fingers the shikon shard around her neck,
thinking of her current situation.

^Crying out loud,^
^I'm crying out loud.^

'If it weren't for this accursed thing I wouldn't be in this situation,' she
thought to herself desperately.

Her fists clenched at her sides she stands there for a moment with her eyes
closed before she finds the willpower to move. She quickly enters her house
and flies up the stairs to her room, ignoring the questioning looks she
receives from her family.

^Open your eyes.^
^Open up wide.^

Upon entering her room she sees Kikyou staring back at her. Actually, she
realizes, it is a mirror reflecting to her the approximate image of the woman
who has caused all of the unexpected, agonizing grief that has entered her
heart. She screams in anguish as she rushes over to rip the mirror from her
dresser and throw it to the floor in a fit of rage. Hot tears stream down
her cheeks as Kagome, choking on her own sobs, strikes the already broken
mirror in distress, blood seeping from her pale knuckles.

^Why should I care?^
^'Cause you weren't there when I was scared,^
^I was so alone.^

Kagome stares down at the shards of the mirror as the reflection has become
no less disturbing. A million little Kikyou's stare up at Kagome as she
wrestles for control of her emotions.

^Why should I care?^
^'Cause you weren't there when I was scared,^
^I was so alone.^

Kagome pushes herself away from the broken mirror, positioning her back up
against her bedroom door. Shaking, she clutches her knees to her chest and
gapes at the shattered mirror. Her face is filled with such alarm that one
would expect that the mirror shards would, at any moment, fly through the air
to embed themselves in her soft skin.

^Why should I care?^
^If you don't care then I don't care,^
^We're not going anywhere.^

All emotion drains from Kagome's face as she stands and walks over to the
shattered mirror, staring at it for another moment before quietly gathering
the pieces in her bleeding hands and carrying them to her trashcan.

^Why should I care?^
^'Cause you weren't there when I was scared,^
^I was so alone.^

Kagome lets the shards slid from her hand into the trashcan by her desk. The
blood trickles down from her abused hand to stain some of the shards.

^Why should I care?^
^If you don't care then I don't care,^
^We're not going anywhere.^

Kagome sits on the edge of her windowsill, gazing out into the rainy sky.
Light reflects from the shattered mirror in the trashcan as Kagome's face
remains eerily blank.