Party in the CIA FanFiction
Agency: 6:00 am
I entered the agency with a cool, calm confident look on my face but on the inside I was feeling nervous. I had just turned twenty one and recently been recruited to Langley to join the CIA, and it was my first day on the job. I looked around and spotted a desk with my name on it and sat down, feeling a bit comfortable. A tall lady, with square shoulders and a stone face came up to me and I smiled. "Hi I'm Delilah! I'm going to be working here now!"
She narrowed her eyes and shook her head. "Yes, Agent D... You will be going on missions and your partner is Agent A."
She pointed to a line of men that looked identical and I followed her finger to the man on the end. Thankfully, this guy was different. He had wild crazy brown hair flowing down to his shoulders and his eyes were almond shaped and brown. He had a unsure look on his face. He must have been new too. The tall lady walked behind him and brought out a ruler and measured his hair. She decided it was too long and chopped it off with a pair of scissors. He had the same black suit and red tie as everyone else in line and his hair had been cut but he still seemed different. I nodded and walked to him.
"Hey, new partner!" I smiled and nudged him. And he smiled and nudged me back. "What's up?"
The tall lady gave me the stink eye and I closed my mouth and stopped talking. An alarm sounded off and everybody put in their ear piece and slid on dark shades. "Ummm..." I brushed my hair from out of my face and the tall lady handed me a pair of shades and an ear piece. She walked behind me and measured my hair. I gulped and remembered seeing Agent A's hair and felt fearful. She took out a rubber band and pulled my hair back into a tight bun. She nodded and everyone took off. I followed A and we came to a car on the side of the road. "Ok, these are our targets."
The first was a man with a ski mask on and a black jacket. He was a suicide bomber. The next was a South American dictator. He wore a green jacket and green hat. The last was a big man with a red jacket and matching hat. He had a strange beard that turned up into a mustache. He was the number one. I smiled and checked my briefcase.
Handcuffs, cyanide pills and my own papers on our targets. I held up the pills and pointed at it.
"What's this for?"
A shook his head. "I think it's in case we're captured and we can't give information. They can't torture us because we'll just take the pills and end it before they can."
I grimaced and set them back in my case. "Ok then. Where is our first target located?"
"Downtown. We suspect the terrorist might want to blow it up while the presidents unveiling the new public library." He replied and I started the car. "Well, lets go save the president!"
We sped down the street and parked beside the library and spotted the guy inside, strapping the bomb to his chest and setting it for ten minutes.
"Hurry!" We jumped from out of the car and ran in through the back and busted the door open. The terrorist was running downstairs and about thirty CIA agents were following him. We trailed behind them and he stopped, and smiled. An agent shot him in the head and he fell to the ground. With the bomb still ticking, everyone stepped backwards and took cover. The terrorist reached his hand up and an agent shot the bomb strapped to his chest and it exploded. Thankfully, the room we were in was solid concrete so it didn't hurt the library above. The target had been obliterated. We walked outside and watched the president cut the ribbon peacefully. The president was safe.
"Job well done." He rested his hand on my shoulder and I nodded.
"Yep. We did awesome." I replied and he stopped resting his hand on my shoulder and got into the car and I followed, laying back against the car seat feeling relived that this target was gone. But there was much more to come. The next was the South American Dictator. We had no clue where he could be, but our reports say he could be located somewhere in Hawaii. I held up my report and showed it to him, a slow smile spreading across his face.
"Aloha!" He gave me a high five and I smiled. "This job keeps getting better and better! Saving the president on the first day and then, we get to go to Hawaii!"
He tapped my shoulder.
"Hey, we're CIA agents, remember? It's not a vacation, it's a mission. We assassinate the dictator and leave," he snapped his fingers, "just like that." I nodded and he started the car. "Right. Let's be serious."
He drove to the front of my house and the car stopped in silence, the darkness of the night making everything around eerie. He made a small smile and I opened the door, ready to get out.
"Hey, you we're good out there today. I'm glad they recruited you." He told me and I blushed, suddenly feeling self conscious.
"Heh, thanks. You did good too. See you tomorrow." I stepped outside and started to walk to the front steps and I looked back to watch him leave. And he was looking too.
D's house: 5:00 am
My alarm buzzed and my eyes shot open as I sat up and scanned the room for intruders. No one was there. Only me. I sighed and shivered, remembering my nightmare about getting my throat slit by an enemy spy and smacked my lips, thinking about my schedule. I stood up and walked through my living room and to my kitchen when I saw something. It was small but I knew someone was there. I started up my coffee maker watching the coffee fill the pot when I saw it again, another small black blur. It had moved under my table closer to me, but I still acted like I saw nothing. It was a spy with a ski mask on and he had gotten up from under the table without a sound and was moving toward me. He lunged for me and I grabbed my coffee pot, cracking it down hard on his head. Pieces of glass scattered everywhere on the floor and he dropped with it, unconscious. I grabbed my phone and dialed my work, grabbing a rope from off the table and tying his hands. I pressed the phone against my face with my shoulder and multitasked, kicking him in the stomach.
"Central Intelligence Agency, how can we help you?"
I sighed and dropped the intruder to the ground. "Trish, it's me. I just had someone break in my house and try to kill me. I knocked him out with my fifty dollar coffee pot and there's a mess everywhere. Can you get someone to pick him up?"
"Sure thing, D! I'll send someone right away!" He cheery voice made me feel reassured and I dragged the man into my closet, grabbing the key and locking him inside. I walked into my bedroom and quickly got dressed in my sharp suit when the doorbell rang. I ran and answered it, seeing two big guys from my work standing there. In the driveway was a huge S.W.A.T car. I growled. "He's in here."
I lead them to the closet and unlocked it, showing them the stupid spy who had somehow gotten in my house. They grabbed him and started to carry him out when one of the men approached me. "It's probably best if you stay somewhere else for a little while to make sure you'll be safe. That spy didn't just find you by accident, you know." I nodded to him and he and the passed out spy left.
I grabbed my suitcase, got in my Volkswagen bug and drove down to the agency.
Agency: 6:00 am
I pushed through the doors and sat at my desk, feeling annoyed. It's creepy to think terrorists could be stalking and watching my every move. I sat at my desk and everyone seemed to be staring at me. A came by and sat next to me, his eyes clouded with worry and confusion. "I heard what happened. Are you ok? Did you get hurt?"
I just sighed and opened my briefcase. "Yeah, I'm ok. I just can't show up to my house for a while, for safety."
The tall lady with the bun, came in the room and narrowed her eyes at me.
"You! You need to keep your location and business to yourself or your going to end up getting killed!"
I looked up at her and narrowed my eyes. "I didn't give anyone my location! I didn't do anything wrong! The only person who knows my location is A and it's because he drove me home last night!"
She scowled at me and pursed her lips. "Don't be stupid. We do not, want a dead agent on our hands." She walked away and I huffed, looking in my suitcase for the picture of the next target. The South American Dictator. Right. And we're going to Hawaii. I smiled smugly and closed my suitcase, crossing my arms over my chest. "So, how are we going to get to Hawaii? Plane?"
He held up to plane tickets in his hand and smiled back, just as smug.
"I'm way ahead of you, D."
D's house: 9:00 pm
There was a knock at my door and I grabbed my purse, speeding to the door and not making a sound, looking through the peephole. It was A. I smiled and opened the door. He was dressed in a flower Hawaiian shirt with swim trunks. He had new sunglasses and they reflected everything in front him."Ready?" He looked surprised for some reason.
"Yup." I had picked out my outfit pretty well. I was wearing a yellow and orange dress that had the sunset on it. It went down to my knees and a strap went from the top of my dress and around my neck. My hair was in a neat, comfortable ponytail and I wore strapping sandals to complete it all. I grabbed my suitcase and stepped outside, excitedly walking to the car and slipping in the passenger seat. "Alright, lets go!"
Airport: 10:00 pm
"Oh god, we're late!" I shouted and we ran through the terminal , and tossed our bags on the conveyor belt. A held out his badge and narrowed his eyes, looking serious.
"CIA, make this quick. We're about to miss our flight."
The officer nodded his head and they quickly scanned us and we were on our way, running through the airport to turn out tickets in.
"That was smart, using your badge." I said between breaths and he nodded, breathing heavily. "Thanks."
I skidded to a stop in front of the lady receiving tickets and A nearly ran into me. He brushed off his shirt and handed the tickets to her.
"Oh, first class, huh? That's exciting!" I took a drink from out of my water bottle and she smiled. "So you guys are going to Hawaii for your honeymoon?"
I spat out the water and coughed.
"Uh, no. Heh, just some business meeting."
"Ok, go right in."
A smiled and straitened his sunglasses. We started walking to the plane when I watched him stay behind. "Sorry about the mess." He put a twenty on her desk and she smiled. "Thank you! Have a nice flight!"
We walked into the plane and past all of the passengers in the coach class. Crying babies, snoring men, old people, this is what I don't have to endure for the next six hours. We walked into a nice part of the plane where fancy looking people were sitting in comfy chairs. I sat down an he sat down beside me silently. Everyone's eyes fell on us, as if we didn't belong there. I sunk down low in my seat and let myself settle. The engine roared to life and my eyes widened. "What's happening?" I whispered to A and he smirked. "The engine is starting up. Haven't you ever flown in a plane before?"
I smiled sheepishly and clung to my seat at the scary sounds outside the plane. "Uh, no."
His face twisted with a playfully mischievous smile. "Oh this is great!"
He laughed and I smacked his shoulder. "Hey! Shut up!"
The plane started to lift and the color drained from my face as my face twisted with fear. "Oh no. Oh no."
The force was tremendous and it seemed to pull me back. Then everything settled. Like we weren't even off the ground. I sighed with relief and wiped the sweat from my forehead. I looked back at A and he'd covered his mouth to keep himself from going crazy with laughter. My face turned to anger. "Hey! Don't be so rude! I'm sure your first flight was scary too!"
"Yes it was terrifying..." His face was serious but then turned into a laughing smile. "Because I was five!"
I laid back in the seat and felt exhausted and before I knew it, I was sleeping.
Airplane: 4:00 am
I woke up to the sound of screaming and sat up, hitting my head on the side of the plane. "Ouch."
I opened my eyes and looked around to see a man that had been wearing a trench coat and opened his coat to reveal a hidden time bomb. I unbuckled my belt and stood up and A did the same. I walked out in the isle and put my fists up, ready to fight. He shot his fists out trying to punch me but I moved and he missed. I jumped up and did a kick, sending him sprawling to the ground. A punched him in the face and his face twisted with anger. "How do we disarm the bomb?!"
The bomber just smirked.
"Why would I tell you?!"
I put my hands on my hips and growled. I forced him to his feet and pushed him to the window. Outside, we were over miles and miles of ocean. "Because you can either disarm the bomb and live, or we push you out the emergency exit and you fall to your death." I stared him right in the face. "It's your choice."
"I don't care! I would rather die than tell you how to disarm bomb!" He tried to spit at me but missed.
"Wrong choice." I shoved him against the wall and shouted, " Everyone hold on tight and buckle up!"
A opened the emergency exit and air blew in everywhere. I pushed him to the exit and barley held him still on board, with most of his feet sticking out of the plane. He screamed and I shouted over the roaring of wind,
"Last chance! Disarm the bomb or your going to have a long time to say goodbye!" He gritted his teeth and I pushed his farther. "Disarm it!"
"No!"
I shoved him and he started to fall, but grabbed my foot. I screamed and fell from out of the plane, falling at high speeds. I punched the bombers face and he was knock out cold. It was kind of funny how he looked. His mouth was open and his cheeks were flapping in the wind and I would've laughed but after all, I was falling to my death. The water was getting closer and closer and I closed my eyes, getting ready for certain death. Suddenly, I felt arms close around me and I was jolted upwards fast, then I was gently gliding on air like a feather. I looked behind me and a traumatized A was there, holding on to me. He saved my life. I smiled and looked down at the glistening water to see the bomber hit the water. The bomb went off and there was a huge splash of water. I choked out a chuckle and looked up to see A smiling down at me.
"Your welcome."
I started laughing maniacally and felt like I could just kiss him, but it was an awkward situation at the moment. But I definitely owed him one. We drifted off toward the island and fell on the beach, with the sun coming up. I smiled and gave him a huge hug, the biggest hug I'd ever given anyone in my entire life. "Oh my god, you saved my life! I'm not dead!" I hopped around with joy and grabbed his hand. "What a great entrance! Parachute into Hawaii! Save the girl! It's like we're in a spy movie." A exclaimed and I gave a small smile.
"The only thing you haven't done is get the girl..."
I stared at the ground and blushed like crazy. I cleared my throat and kicked some sand. "We should probably reach a city or something."
We started to walk away down the beach and I heard A giggle.
"What's so funny?" I asked and he chuckled. "You snore in your sleep."
My cheeks turned bright red with embarrassment. "I do not!"
"Yes you do! Like a grizzly bear!"
"Oh my god..." I covered my face.
"Yeah, but its ok." He replied and shrugged.
"How is this ok?" I felt like going and hiding in the bushes.
"Because its kinda cute."
I felt myself smile and we walked down the beach and we watched the plane roar overhead.
"Follow that plane!" A shouted and we ran after it. After a while we parted through the palm trees to find the airport. We ran and settled in with the tourist group that was getting off the plane and one person gasped. "Aren't you the one who jumped off the plane?"
"No!" A replied and rubbed the back of his neck. "Watch out for that falling coconut!"
"Where?!" The tourist asked and he looked back but we were gone. We had moved to the very back of the group. "That was a close one." He nudged me and I nodded. "Yeah."
There was friendly Hawaiian people saying Aloha to everybody. There was ladies in coconut bras and grass skirts that put leis around me and A's necks. "Aloha! Welcome to Hawaii!"
We walked to the Seaside Resort and pushed the doors, walking inside. It was beautiful. The walls were painted into a mural with a beautiful sunset on one wall, the underwater ocean in another with different kinds of crazy fish and jellyfish, and a beach with palm trees and the ocean on the last. There was a blue chandelier handing from the middle of it all and the receptionists counter was made of white marble. She gave us a huge smile and got her clipboard out. "Welcome to the Seaside Resort! How can we assist you?"
"Um, we have a reservation here for an A and D." I explained and she checked the clipboard. Hopefully the room would be good. The tall lady with the bun was the one who was suppose to set everything up.
"Oh yes! You two have the honeymoon suite!" She clapped her hands. "Congratulations on your wedding!"
I gasped and A shrugged his shoulders. "Thanks."
I elbowed him and leaned close to him.
"D, this could be our cover for now! Two newly weds on their honeymoon! No one will suspect a thing! Plus, these rooms are awesome!" I shook my head and he chuckled. "Plus you can go to the spa, order room service and it all goes on her credit card bill."
A smile spread across my face and I nodded. "This could work out."
I turned around and smiled at the lady. "Yes, we are soooo in love!" I hugged him and he smiled.
"We're high school sweethearts."
I covered my mouth to keep myself from laughing at this corny story and the receptionist smiled again.
"Ok your room is room E30. I'll show you if you need any assistance."
"Yeah, I think we need help." I nodded my head. "By the size of this building I don't think we could find it."
We walked to the stairs and after five flights and a walk down a long hallway, finally got there.
"Here's your room!" The receptionist was fine looking but me and A were panting and sweating.
"How... can you not... be tired?!" A asked between breaths and the receptionist smiled.
"When you have to walk up this thing all day, every single day, you get legs of steel."
She unlocked our hotel room and it was amazing. There was a big queen sized bed that was cream colored and the carpet was the same sparkling white as the sandy beaches outside. There was a glass table next to the bed with a bottle of champagne and a conch shell on it. And a giant window went across the wall and showed the entire front of the yard. I could see the pools, the giant orchid garden and the ocean from a small distance. I felt like screaming with joy but I kept calm.
"You two have fun." The receptionist smiled and closed the door behind her as she left with the shuffle of feet.
I whooped and hopped on the bed, jumping up and down with joy.
"This is awesome!"
I jumped off the bed and ran for a second door. "What's this?"
I opened the door to find the bathroom. The humongous bathroom with a tv and a hot tub. My mouth dropped open and A came up from behind me. "Oh my hot tub."
I closed the door and looked around.
"How cool is this?" I laid down on the bed. "I am exhausted!" Then I sat up.
"Wait! Are we gonna have to share a bed?" I asked him and he made a toothy smile. "Yeah, 'cause we're soooo in love!"
I crossed my arms and my eyes lit up as I saw the pool outside. "Hey! After a nap, we should go night swimming!"
I fell asleep and woke up at nine and the sun was setting. There was lights and a bonfire on the beach and I looked around for A, but he was gone. The doorknob turned and I laid back in bed quickly, acting like I was still asleep. He walked in and rubbed his face, it looking shiny and softer than usual. "Where have you been?"
He almost jumped in the air and stuck his hands behind his back.
"Uh, nowhere! I was just uh..." He had nothing to say. Then things started to make sense. The shiny skin, the softness... "You were at the spa!" I cried and started laughing.
"I was not!" HE started blushing and I started laughing even more.
"That is hilarious!" My eyes almost started to water when they met the party outside. "Hey, we need to go to that party outside. It looks awesome."
"Naw! I don't like parties so much."
My jaw dropped. "Ok, now you are definitely coming with me."
I grabbed his suitcase and tossed it to him, shoving him toward the bathroom. "Get changed into something cool. We're gonna crash a party!"
Five minutes later A came from our of the bathroom with a nice white suit and matching shoes with his hair slicked back. He looked toward me and his eyes widened.
"Wow, D... You look great!"
"Thanks." I smiled and twirled. I had a black dress on that flowered out at the bottom. It sparkled and shone and I had black flats to go along with it. My hair was brushed over to the side and pinned up looking fancy. I had also put some makeup on, including mascara, lipstick, eyeliner and eyeshadow. We walked out the front door and I smelled something good. "Are you wearing cologne?"
He smiled. "Yeah. I wasn't sure if I should've worn it or not but I put it on anyway."
"Well you made a good decision." We walked down around the pools and finally got to the beach. There was a minibar and a bonfire and fancy people mixed with regular people. We arrived and everyone seemed to stare at me with awe and jealousy. I sat down at the minibar and they poured me a glass of wine. I started to drink it but A tapped me on my shoulder. "Hey! No drinking on the job missy."
I shrugged. "What's the big deal? It's just a drink. Why don't you have a drink?"
He rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't drink. It's irresponsible and bad for you."
I scoffed. "I think your scared."
"I am not!" He shot back at me and a guy sitting beside me said, "Then have a drink, if your not scared!"
Other people joined in and started chanting. "Do it! Do it! Do it!"
I frowned and wanted to stop them from chanting, when suddenly A grabbed a random bottle from off the counter and chugged it all. A collective round of gasps was heard from the people all around and I even gasped. He had just chugged a whole bottle of vodka.
His face twisted into a drunken smile. "Lets get this party started!"
The band started playing upbeat music and everyone danced. But no one was singing. The band stopped and started to talk amongst themselves. A ran up to them and I followed. "What's the matter with the music?" He asked and the drummer frowned. "Our singer didn't show up and now we don't have our complete band."
A gave a sideways smile."I'll sing if you want me to."
I looked at him with wide eyes.
"Does he sing good?" The guitarist asked me and I shrugged. "I've never heard him before."
"Oi! That's good enough for me!" The bassist exclaimed with a British accent. "The show must go on!"
"Yeah!" The band members cheered and I started to nervously sweat.
"Oh no."
A started to wright something down and gave it to the band members.
"Make it sound Polka and you," he pointed to the guitarist. "Sing background."
"Make it sound polka and silly, and you..." He pointed to the guitarist.
"Sing the background."
They started playing music and I recognized it. Poker face by Lady Gaga. Background"Ma ma ma ma!"
"Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh!" A sang and I giggled.
A "Can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read a my polka face!"
Background "She has got to love nobody!"
A "Can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read a my polka face!"
Background "She has got to love nobody!"
A "Pa pa pa polka face pa pa polka face."
Background" ma ma ma ma!"
A "Pa pa pa polka face pa pa polka face!"
Background "Hey!"
A "Woman womanizer, your a womanizer , oh womanizer oh your a womanizer baby you you you are, you you you are, womanizer womanizer womanizer."
Background "Womanizer!"
"Boy don't try to front I I know just as what you are are are, boy don't try to front I I know just as what you are are are! You say I'm crazy! I've got your crazy! Your nothing but a womanizer! You spin my head right round, right round when you go down when you go down down! You spin my head right round, right round, when you go down, when you go down! Day and night! The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night. The lonely loner seems to free his might at night. At at at night! It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now! Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now! And I don't know how, I can do without, I just need you now! And I was like baby, baby, baby! Baby, baby, baby! Baby, baby, baby! I thought you'd always be mine!
So, so what? I'm still a rockstar. I got my rock moves, and I don't need you and guess what? I'm having more fun, and now that we're done, I'm gonna show you tonight! I'm alright! I'm just fine! And your a toooool! So so what? I am a rockstar! I got my rock moves! And I don't want you tonight! I kissed a girl and I like it! The taste of her cherry Chapstick! I kissed a girl, just to try it! I hope my boyfriend don't mind it! It felt so wrong, it felt so right, don't meet a in law tonight! I kissed a girl and I liked it, I liked it! And I'd like to make myself believe, that planet earth turns slowly, it's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep, 'cause everything is never as it seems.
Blame it on the goose, gotcha feeling loose
Blame it on Patron, catch me in the zone
Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol
Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol
Blame it on the vodka, blame it on the henny
Blame it on the blue top, got you feeling dizzy
Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol
Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol
Baby are you down down down down down? Baby are you down?
I'm only gonna break break your break break your heart, I'm only gonna break break your break break your heart,I'm only gonna break break your break break your heart, I'm only gonna break your heart!"
Polka music started to play from the band and A sat there smiling goofily.
"Don't stop, make it rock, Dj blow my speakers up, tonight! Ima fight till we see the sunlight, tick tock on the clock, but the polka don't stop, No!"
He yodeled and I smiled.
"Pa pa pa polka face pa pa polka face."
"Ma ma ma ma!"
"Pa pa pa polka face pa pa polka face! Oh no you can't, read my, pa pa polka face, talking bout bout polka face, pa pa pa polka face!"
The band played the last of the music and it was over. Everyone was silent, but then roared in applause. I clapped hard and waved to him, feeling surprised and perplexed on how he even did that. A jumped off the stage and people caught him and moved him along until he was dropped off at the back. I ran up to him and hugged him, feeling so happy for him.
"How did you do that?" I asked and pulled away from our hug.
"I dunno, I guess I just saw your pretty face out in the audience and had to sing something good to impress you." I started to blush but then remembered, he's drunk. I do not get involved with drunk guys.
"Come on, you need to go home." I started to walk him back to the hotel but he broke out of my grasp.
"No. These people love me and I'm going to sing some more."
He jumped up on stage and whispered something to the band members and they started playing jazz music.
"I don't have a library card
But do you mind if I check you out?
I like your skeletal structure, baby
You're an ectomorph, no doubt
Your face is real symmetrical
And your nostils are so nice
I wish that I was cross-eyed, girl
So I could see you twice
Girl, you smell like Fritos
That's why I'm giving you this hungry stare
You're so hot, you're gonna melt
The elastic in my underwear
I'll bet you're magically delicious
Like a bowl of Lucky Charms
You'd look like Venus de Milo
If I just cut off your arms
What I'm tryin' to say is ...
I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now, I need somebody to love
Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo
Do you believe in love at first sight
Or should I walk by again?
My love for you'd like diarrhea
I just can't hold it in
Stop, drop and roll now
'Cause baby, you're on fire
I'll bet your outfit
Makes a lot of noise in the drier
You're absolutely perfect
Don't speak now, you might spoil it
Your eyes are even bluer
Than the water in my toilet
Say, has anyone ever told you
You've got Yugoslavian hands?
No, of course not, that would be stupid
Just forget I ever brought it up
The point I'm trying to make is ...
I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now, I need somebody to love
Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo
I wanna be your Krakatoa
Let my lava flow all over you
I wanna be your anaconda
And your heat-seeking missile too
I wanna be your beef burrito
Am I making this perfectly clear?
I wanna be your love torpedo
Are you picking up the subtle innuendo here?
Uh huh
I hope I'm not being forward
But do you mind if I chew on your butt?
You can tell me truthfully
Am I a steamin' hunk of love now, or what?
There just aren't enough o's in "smooth"
To desribe how smooth I am
Maybe you've seen my picture
It's in the dictionary under "Kablaam!"
My lips are registered weapons
Can I invade your personal space?
You must have fallen from heaven
That would explain how you messed up your face
Well, how'd you get through security?
'Cause, baby, you're the bomb
I'd like to take you home right now
So you can meet my mom
Because I ...
I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now, I need somebody to love." All the woman in the audience went nuts but the ones he came up to were furious. The woman who liked him started to mob him and try to tear his clothes off of him and the others were making their way to the center to kick the crap out of him. I pushed my way to the center and grabbed his arm, tugging him away from everyone. "Alright lover boy, time to go!" We ran to the hotel and got in our room just before they all reached us and I slammed the door in their faces. A went over to the bed and laid there and I ran to the phone.
"Room service? Yes, will you get these crazy people away from our room? Thanks."
I put the phone down and sat down on the bed, feeling exhausted and A wiggled his eyebrows. "Your are the prettiest girl I saw out there tonight."
I blushed and sighed. "Your drunk. Go to sleep."
"But I want to stay up all night with you." He smiled at me and I groaned. "I want the sober A back!"
"I'm not drunk! I'm totally sober." He said and gagged. "Be right back."
He ran into the bathroom and I could hear him puking in the toilet. He came back out looking fine and a bit pale and sat back down on the bed.
I sighed feeling scared. "I love the sober A that wouldn't go out of control like this!" I turned around to look at A but he had passed out. I grabbed a blanket from off the bed and laid it on the floor along with a few pillows. "Goodnight."
I woke up and A was on the bed sleeping still. I walked into the small kitchen like thing and started to make some coffee when he woke up. He rubbed his head and tried to fix his hair that stuck out everywhere.
"What happened last night?"
I brought him out a cup of coffee and smiled. "You drank a whole bottle of vodka, sang some cool songs up on stage, got us chased here by adoring fans and people who wanted to kick the crap out of you, puked and then passed out."
"Awesome." He took the coffee and sipped some. "Ugh."
"Now, I think we should go find that South American Dictator and kill him while he's here." I told him and he nodded. "Yeah, good idea."
A got dressed in his black suit and me in my bikini and left to the beach. A went to the minibar to get a juice and I went to lay my towel down and tan when a lady approached me, fists at her sides and ugly hulking friends beside her. "Where's the doofus who said I had Yugoslavian hands? Cause when I see him I'm going to rearrange his smooth talkin face!"
I smiled guiltily and walked backwards.
"I dunno what your talking about."
Her friend with a big nose walked closer. "Shes the girl in the black dress! She pulled him away before we could pummel him! Lets get her!"
They all walked in on me and I tried to back away. "Sod off, man!"
They grabbed my ponytail and tugged me to the ground. And started scratching me.
"Stop it! Right now or I'm going to force you to stop!" I shouted and pushed the girl away that had grabbed my ponytail.
"You can't fight worth nothing!" The girl with the big nose claimed and a girl with huge feet nodded. "Yeah!"
"It's your funeral." I whispered and it was on. The girl with huge feet ran toward me and I tackled her to the ground, shoving her face in the sand. The girl with the big nose came at me and I lifted my leg and kicked her in the jaw, knocking her out. The girl that A said had Yugoslavian hands charged toward me and I released the girl with big feet and punched hands in the face. She fell to the ground, unconscious and big feet grabbed my hair. I did a flip and sat on her back, forcing her to the ground with my weight. Then, I heard a silencer from a gun and looked over to see A had found the South American Dictator and shot him in the head. Three times.
I pulled back big feet's head to punch her but A grabbed my arm and pulled me away. "We need to go, like right now!"
We ran away down to the hotel and grabbed our things and sped out the door so fast, I didn't change out of my bikini. "We'd like to check out now." I told the receptionist and she nodded. "That will be five thousand three hundred dollars please!"
I nodded. "Just put it on the credit card." We ran out of the hotel and to the airport and bought tickets quickly, slipping on the plane.
"That was awesome." I told him and he nodded. "Thanks."
After six hours, we finally reached Langley and we drove to the agency as fast as we could.
"We assassinated the second target." I told the tall lady with the bun and she nodded. "Good work Agents A and D."
We left the office and I leaned up to A and whispered, "She obviously didn't get her credit card bill yet."
He snickered. "She's gonna be so mad."
A rubbed the back of his neck and smiled. "Hey, if you need a place to stay after the spy tried to kill you, you can sleep on the couch at my house."
I smiled. "Yes. Thank you."
I packed up my suitcase and gave a half smile. "I'll be at your house in an hour."
"Alright, see you there."
I got in my VW bug and drove home, packing up my things and driving to A's house. I knocked on the door and hear barking, more like yipping and the door opened. A wiener dog, with long, wavy brown hair scuttled out the door and jumped on my legs, yipping and pulling its lips back into a smile.
"Fluffy! Come here Fluffy!" He shouted to the dog and he turned around and trotted into the house. A came outside and smiled.
"Come on in!"
I giggled and walked inside, looking around. We walked inside to the living room and there was a brown couch with matching cushions and a window behind it that showed the neighbors house. The carpet was white and so was the walls and a doggy bed sat next to the couch. A coffee table sat in center of the living room and on the wall in front of that was a flat screen. I nodded and smiled. "This place is nice."
"Thanks." He walked to a hallway and I followed. "Here's the guest bedroom." He opened the door and I looked around nodding and taking everything in. The bed was white and the carpet was brown. There was a tv sitting in a wooden dresser with a giant mirror attached. A tall lamp sat in the corner and a window was right beside the door.
"Again, thanks for letting me stay." I smiled at him and he shook his head.
"No problem."
His phone started playing Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus and I laughed as he fumbled to answer it.
"Hello? Oh, thank you for reminding me... No thank you." He closed his phone and his face turned pale.
"What's up?" I asked and he sighed.
"I have to go get a root canal."
I patted his back and gave a sympathetic smile. "It's ok. I'll go with you if you'd like."
He nodded. "Ok."
We drove to the dentists office and we walked inside. He stopped and started to talk to the receptionist and smiled. "Yeah, the cool thing is we have a better dental plan than the FBI's." he snickered and the receptionist laughed. I sat down in a chair and started reading a magazine when the door to the dentists office burst open and a woman screamed. It was two big men in green suits. They charged for A and his face twisted with fear. They tied up his hands and put a bag over his head and took him outside. I ran after the men and got ready to jump on one of them when one of them grabbed me and threw me into some chairs. I got up but they were already out the door so I sped outside and got in my bug. I saw them put A in the van and start rolling away so I stomped on my gas.
"I'm coming A!"
I followed them to the desert where they drove on but stopped and parked to the side of the road. With my windows tinted they couldn't see me, but they knew I was there. A gun shot went off and a bullet flew through the windshield and barley missing my head. I jumped in the backseat and ducked and right afterwards gunshots flew everywhere through the front of the car. I almost screamed, but refrained myself by biting my lip so hard that it almost bled. The gunshots stopped and with my body trembling, got my gun loaded. I heard footsteps and my car door opened. A terrorist peered inside and I sat up aiming the gun at him. "Don't move."
He held his hands up, but smirked.
"Why would I be afraid of a woman?" He sneered and spat on the seat. I pulled the trigger and the bullet hit him square in the forehead. He fell out on the road dead and I smiled slyly.
"That's why."
I stepped out and a big man, that looked similar to the one I'd killed grabbed my arm and pinned it behind my back. "Drop the gun, girly." His voice was low and menacingly annoying. I dropped my gun and he started walking me to the van when I shot my leg up from behind me, kicking him in the balls. He crouched over in pain and I picked up my gun, sending a bullet through his chest after I pulled the trigger. He gasped with pain and hit the ground. His heavy breathing and chest rising and falling meant he was still alive. I pushed my foot down hard on his gun wound and he screamed.
"I want my partner!"
The van holding my friend turned on and with the screeching of tires, started to leave. I ran after the van and grabbed the back of it, holding on for dear life. The car swerved to the left and right and it started loosing my grip. My hands gripped the sides tightly. The van whipped to the left suddenly and I yelled with surprise, falling off the van. I grabbed the first thing I could reach and it was the vans bumper. My chest skidded on the road and I yelped in pain, putting my feet to the ground and pushing myself up. I road the van by the tail and finally we arrived. I dove into the bushes and three men stepped out. Two of them had green suits and matching hats and the other was bigger with a red suit on. He was the number one target on our files. The two henchmen grabbed Agent A from out of the van, still blinded by the bag and tied at the wrists and was taken inside. They left two guards outside to make sure no intruders would disrupt them. I grabbed my pistol and set it on silence so no one would hear and ZIP, ZIP! The guard were out on the ground, still twitching even though I had shot them in the head. I stepped inside and heard water splash and coughing. I ran toward it and found an open door. They had tied him to the chair and he was badly beat up. He had a black eye, a broken nose, a busted lip, and bruises on his chin and cheek. I frowned and watched as the man in the red suit came up with a pistol and smiled, aiming it at A's head. A laughed at him and he almost pulled the trigger when I jumped from out of the doorway and shot him in the head. A smiled widely and I started running to him when I was slammed into the wall by an arm to the neck.
"Oh crap." I had forgotten about the henchmen. One of the henchmen grabbed a rope and the one that had slammed me into the wall pulled back his fist to punch me, but I ducked and his hand punched solid concrete. His eyes watered and he held his hand about to cry. I jumped and kicked him into the wall when the other henchmen punched me in the jaw and I was sent flying into a table. I got up and rubbed my chin, muttering, "Jeez, this guy has retard strength."
The henchman roared and charged at me, his face in a snarl and fist raised ready to punch again. I ducked but he learned from the other guy and turned his punch from the wall and down on my head. I felt disoriented but raised my fist and bunched him in the balls. He crouched over on the ground and I crawled in pain to my gun and shot his head, killing him instantly.
"What did you get yourself into A?" I asked, untying his hands and the ropes around his body.
"I dunno, I just..." His eyes widened and his mouth opened with shock.
"Look out!"
I heard a gunshot and fell to the ground, with blood gushing down my back. I looked at my stomach and realized that I had been shot through my back and it had gone out my stomach. Al grabbed my gun and shot the last guard, dropping the gun and falling to his knees.
"Oh god... D." He held my head up and I half smiled at him. "So I guess this is it huh?" I groaned and held my stomach. The pain was horrid.
"No, no, no, no, you're perfectly fine."
The color in his face had drained because of how scared he was. His eyes were wide with fear.
"Your going to be alright."
He grabbed my ear piece and put it in his ear and contacted HQ.
"HeadQuarters this is Agent A! This is very urgent. Agent D is down with a bullet in the back! Send paramedics right away!" He almost shouted and he growled. "No! Now! We need the paramedics now!" He groaned and ripped out the earpiece scowling.
"Come on. I'm gonna get you out of here."
He picked me up and I whimpered in pain. "Sorry." His angry expression softened and he carried me through the halls of the secret base, kicking the door open and speeding to the terrorists van and setting me on the floor. He jumped into the front seat and sped down the desert road, flinging pebbles and dirt everywhere.
I groaned and rubbed the giant lump on my head. My vision became blurry and I took hold of the handle on the back of a seat. A peered at me from behind the wheel and his expression turned frightened.
"Stay with me D! Don't loose me! Listen to my voice." His voice turned calm but I knew he was scared by the tone of his voice. I noticed the puddle of blood beneath me and knew I probably wasn't going to make it. My vision became black and I fell into the darkness as it swelled all around me.
"D! D?" A asked and started to panic. He entered the city and drove fast, faster than the speed limit.
A police siren wailed from behind him and he flashed his badge back to the officer. The siren died down and he kept going, finally screeching to a stop at the hospital. A grabbed D and carried her into the hospital, sweat dripping from his brow.
"Oh my goodness! What happened?!" The lady from the front ran to them and covered her mouth. The people in the waiting room gasped in unison and he groaned.
"That's classified ma'am. But you need to get her a hospital room right away. She was shot through the back and out her stomach." She ran and five seconds later, came out with two men. A and the men picked her up and carried her to the emergency room. They put her in Extensive Care and started rolling her away.
"Can I go to?" A asked and the lady nodded. "Close friend or Family?"
"We're partners."
"Mmmm hmmm, follow me." A and the lady from the desk ran after her and followed her until they came to the surgery room. They led her in but the doctor gave him a clipboard.
"Does she have any medicine allergies?"
"Penicillin, yes."
"Does she have a medical condition?"
"If Asthma counts, then yes."
"Ok, thank you." The doctor stepped inside the surgery room and A sat down, rubbing his forehead.
"I'm so sorry about your girlfriend." The lady from the front told A and he shook his head. "She's not my girlfriend, she's my partner at work."
The lady's eyebrow arched. "Well, you sure know a lot about this girl for you guys not to be at least dating."
A sighed and smiled a bit.
"I think we should take care of that nose. It looks pretty bad." She helped him up and they walked down the hallway.
D after surgery:
I woke up, feeling drowsy and my vision was blurred. I shook my head to shake it off and my vision normalized. I was in a hospital bed and had a hospital gown on instead of my suit. There was IVs in my wrists and I almost yelled from fear but contained myself. I hate needles. There was a light knock on my door and a doctor entered, checking his clipboard. "So, Delilah. How are you feeling?"
I rubbed my throbbing head and nodded. "Great. Just great."
He looked at the clipboard and read off my injuries one by one.
"Bruised neck, bruised skull, broken jaw and a gunshot wound. We fixed your jaw and your wound and your quite lucky. That bullet barley missed your heart, lungs and spine."
I cringed and reached up to feel my jaw and there was stitching there.
"Oh, and your boyfriends here to visit you." The doctor finished and left the room and I face palmed. A walked in the room and he looked horrible. His face was badly bruised and his nose was covered in bandages. Some of his teeth were busted but he smiled as he walked into the room. He walked up and hugged me, his smile more contagious then it had ever been.
"I knew you would be ok."
I smiled and hugged him back, feeling myself glow with happiness.
"The agency wants to give you a metal for killing the most wanted target on our lists and saving me."He beamed and I smiled back.
"That's awesome, but I don't think I'm gonna be able to get out of this bed for at least a week." I patted his back and he nodded. "I know, but they're going to schedule it as soon as your out of the hospital."
I nodded. "Cool."
He smiled and leaned close to me and I thought he was going to whisper something to me, but he did something I didn't expect. He kissed me. His lips touched mine and it was almost like magic. We released and I stared up at him dreamily as we hugged again. His watch beeped and his eyes widened. "Oh, I have to go."
He started to leave and he waved at me. "See you later. Bye!"
"Bye." I told him and nodded. He left and I laid back in my bed, feeling lucky. That bullet had almost killed me and I had survived because of him.
After six boring days of sitting in bed and eating hospital food...
(Because nothing interesting happens...)
I sat in a metal chair at the award ceremony, feeling nervous and thinking about what I would do or say. The program started. On a big projector on the wall, they showed video from secret cameras hidden in our sunglasses and I gasped. I didn't know they did that. I don't think anyone else did either because there was a gasps and mumbles from everyone in the audience.
There was footage of the twenty men chasing the suicide bomber and the gunshot that killed him. Then the camera went to A's glasses. It showed me, man handling the terrorist and pushing him out, then him grabbing my foot and pulling me with him. A grabbed a parachute and jumped from out of the plane and catching me before my death. Then it showed A shooting the South American dictator, and him grabbing me away. Then it showed me in my car, speeding down the highway after the kidnappers and so on. It was kind of like a movie, actually. Then I was in the room and shot the target and got pummeled but I saved A. Then I got shot. Everyone gasped and I felt myself chuckle. This was pretty cool. The projector clicked off and the tall lady with the bun walked to the front on stage and motioned me to go up. I walked up on the stage and waved, feeling shy. I waved to A to get up on the stage and he joined me.
"Agent D killed the number one target on our lists and saved another agents life." She put a metal around my neck and I smiled.
"What was going through your head when A was taken?" Trish asked and I shrugged. "I dunno. I was scared, but I wasn't going to let them take my partner. He's like my best friend." I explained and she nodded.
"But, I think A is the real hero. He's kind of the one who led me to them." I patted his back and hugged him.
Everyone clapped and we got off the stage and sat back in our normal seats. "Alright everyone." The tall lady stated in her dull voice.
"Back to work."
She left into her office and all of a sudden, loud music blasted from out of nowhere and the lights shut off. The red alarm lights came on without the sound and strobe lights went off.
Everyone danced and started having a good time and I gasped looking around. "Who planned this?"
"I did!" A told me and I turned around to face him. "A! You are so cool!"
I gave him another hug and we looked at each other.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" He asked and I nodded. "Oh, yeah!"
The loud music shut off and we jumped up on some tables and someone handed us microphones.
Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus started playing and I realized it was a karaoke, so I started to sing. But I didn't sing the real words, though. :)
"I moved out to Langley recently, with a plain and simple dream!" I smiled at A and he knew what I was doing.
"Wanna infiltrate some third world place..." He started and we both sang, "And topple their regime!"
"Those men in black with their matching suitcases, where everything's on a need to know basis," A sang and I finished the verse. "Agents got that swagger, everyone's so cloak and dagger!"
"I'm feeling nervous but I'm really kinda wishin', for an undercover mission. That's when the red alert came on the radio, and I put my ear piece on, got my dark sunglasses on and I had my weapon drawn!" A sang and we started together.
"So I get my handcuffs, my cyanide pills, my classified dossier! Tapping the phones like yeah! Shredding the files like yeah! I memorized all the enemy spies, I've gotta neutralize today! Yeah! It's a Party in the CIA! Yeah! It's a Party in the CIA!"
"I've done a couple of crazy things, that have almost gotten me dismissed." I heard myself sing but couldn't stop. "Like terminate some head of state, who wasn't even on my list."
"Burn that microfilm buddy will you? I'd tell you why, but then I'd have to kill you!" He started to sing and I had something pop in my head. "You need a quickie confession? We'll start our water boarding session!"
"No hurry on that South American dictator, I'll assassinate him later.
That's when he walked in my laser sights,and my silencer was on!And my silencer was on!And another target's gone!" He sang and I smiled.
"Yeah we've got our Black OPPS all over the world, from Kazakstan to Bombay! Paying the bribes like yeah! Plugging the leaks like yeah!"
"Interrogating the scum of the earth, we'll break em by the break of day! Yeah! It's a party in the CIA! Yeah! It's a party in the CIA!" A sang and we nodded to each other, folding our arms across our chests and going back to back. "Need a country to stabilize?" I sang and A nodded. "Look no further were your guys!"
"We've got snazzy suits and ties!" I sang and he smiled widely, showing all of his teeth."And a better dental plan then the FBI's!"
"Better put your hands up and get in the van,we're also getting blown a coup like yeah!
Brainwashing moles like yeah!
We only torture the folks we don't like,you're probably gonna be OK.
Yeah! It's a party in the CIA!
Yeah! It's a party in the CIA!" We finished and everybody clapped and whistled. Then there was a yell. The tall lady with the bun, walked from out of her office, scowled and put her hands on her hips. "What's going on in here?! Who started all of this?!" She yelled and the music turned off and the lights turned to normal. A guiltily smiled and stepped forward.
"I did ma'am. We were..." He couldn't even finish. "I don't care! Your fired! No party's allowed at work unless they are authorized by me! Turn in your earpiece, badge and shades to me immediately!"
My mouth dropped open in surprise and he handed over his things and left the room, his head hanging down with shame. I narrowed my eyes at her. "You cant talk to him like that! He was throwing a surprise party for me and your firing him?! You know, this place blows goats anyway. I quit!" I shouted and tossed my earpiece and badge at her and took the tiny camera from off me and A's shades.
"And I'm keeping the shades!"
I stomped out of the room and ran up to A in the hallway and he smiled.
"D! What are you doing here?"
"That job sucks, so I quit." I told him and his eyes widened. "What?"
"Yep. I got angry and told the lady with the bun off because she was being a jerk to you and left everything there besides the shades."
I grabbed out his pair and handed in to him and he smiled. "Thanks."
Everything was good. We weren't going to let anyone stand in our way of being happy. Ever. Until it happened. Someone came up from behind me and grabbed my arms, putting a rag over my mouth and nose. I held my breath and I watched the same happen to A only, he didn't hold his breath. He went limp in the agent behind him's arms and got carried away. Chloroform rags. I struggled and tried to break free, but I couldn't. I couldn't hold my breath any longer and I breathed in. I blacked out instantly.
I woke up in a white room, sitting in a chair and reached up to rub my eyes, but I couldn't. My hands were tied behind my back. I struggled but couldn't break free.
"Don't struggle. It will only be worse." A familiar voice sounded from behind me and I gasped when she walked in front of me. "You!"
It was the tall lady with the bun.
"Let me go! I quit! What don't you understand?" I yelled and she shook her head. "You see, since you are now an ex agent, we have to wipe your memory to insure you won't be a problem to us in our next mission. Everything you know about the agency, your missions, your partner, your metal will be wiped out of your memories. And on more drastic cases we might have to reset you."
"Reset me?! Wipe my memory?!" I asked and she nodded.
"If your current lifestyle is too entangled in your memories, we'll have to reset your whole memory and give you a new identity."
I uttered out a small cry of fear and she kept her face strait.
"Agents are searching your houses now to see what we should do."
I looked around the room and realized A was tied behind me. I gently kicked him from underneath the chair.
He snorted and woke with a jolt.
"Huh? What's up?!" He slurred, still waking up and I kicked him again.
"Wake up. We're in trouble."
After she reexplained everything and A new everything, he whimpered.
"And this is happen because..."
"We might give away information they don't want us to." I looked at her in the face.
"And, I think she might of got her credit card bill, D!" He scowled at me and I started sweating. "Oh, that too."
Three men walked into the room and nodded to the tall lady. They grabbed our connected chairs and placed them in a small room with glass in between to watch. The tall lady nodded and I knew she just wanted revenge on us. Her face was stone on the outside, but on the inside she was probably laughing her face off. They shut the door and something in the room whirred on. I poked A through the chair and he nodded. "Yeah?"
I grabbed his hand tightly and held it like a life line. "Better put your hands up and get in the van, we're also getting blown away," I sang quietly.
He made a small chuckle and I felt him smile, even though I couldn't see him. "Staging a coup like yeah, brainwashing moles like yeah," He quietly sang and I smiled. "We only torture the folks we don't like,you're probably gonna be OK..."
We both quietly sang together. "Yeah, it's a party in the CIA, yeah, it's a party in the CIA."
There was a flash of white light and I passed out again.
I woke up in a strange room that was white all over and I was tied up. There was moving around behind me and someone came in the room and untied me. They slung me over their shoulder and started to carry me out and I spotted a man who was tied up behind me. He had a suit on, like me. His hair was short and brown and his eyes were brown and almond shaped. His eyebrows were knit with confusion and I gave a small wave. He looked like a nice person. He smiled and waved back and I couldn't help but grin at his contagious smile. I was carried out into another white room and set in a chair. A tall lady with a bun in her hair walked in front of me and she have a disgusted look.
"Do you remember anything at all about your life or personality?"
I thought for a second and realized I couldn't remember a single thing. I shook my head. "Nope."
I heard loud laughing from inside the other white room and a big person came out holding the guy with the contagious smile. "Boss? I think we cooked him for too long."
"Set him down here." She pointed to a chair next to me and he plopped him down.
"Do you know him in anyway?" I looked at him and he gave me a happy look. Tears welled in my eyes, but I didn't know why. "No but when I see him, I feel sad. Like I'm missing something. Something important."
I wiped my face and contagious smile frowned sadly and patted my back. "Oh, don't be sad!"
"Good!" The lady with the bun replied and pointed to him.
"Do you remember anything about your personality or past life?"
"Negative." He shook his head and she nodded. "Do you know her in anyway?" He shook his head. "No. But I feel sorry that she's so sad."
"Good!" The lady with the bun pointed at us. "Escort them out of here!"
They picked us up again and we walked down the hallways and people waved to us. "Bye A! Bye D!"
I looked at contagious and he shrugged in confusion. We passed the receptionist and she smiled sadly. She was blonde, had blue eyes and was very perky. I liked her attitude.
"Bye you guys! Come back and visit sometime!" I waved back and the men grabbed us and put us in separate cars. I gave a final smile and wave to the contagious man and he smiled and waved back. They set me in the back seat and started to drive away. I suddenly felt very sad and started to cry. "What's the matter?" The driver asked and I shrugged.
"I don't know. Ever since I woke up in that white room I felt sad, like something was missing!"
We drove through the streets and the man who had carried me to the car stared at me. "Your name is Jane Morris and you are twenty one years old. Your mother is Dian Morris and your father is Dave Morris. This is your house and you will be living here from now on." We stopped and I opened the door to an apartment complex. "You are room E30. You are currently unemployed but want to become a veterinarian."
"E30?" That sounded familiar. Something flashed in my mind. It was a receptionist and she looked Hawaiian. "When you have to walk up this thing all day, every single day, you get legs of steel."
I shook my head and looked up at the man who had been talking to me.
"You have a nice day Jane." He opened the door and shoved me out onto the sidewalk and I almost fell over. The car screeched away and I looked around. I walked up a staircase I had spotted and looked around. "E28, E29 and E30."
I twisted the doorknob and it was unlocked. I walked inside to find a ratty old bed and an old tv on a stand waiting for me. On a table by the door was the keys to the house. I put them in my pocket and sat down on the bed to watch a rat scurry out from underneath it. I stayed put and it scuttled into a mouse hole and I sighed. This was my life? I remembered the contagious man and smiled, remembering him. He was so cool. He was the nicest person I'd met so far. I laid back on the bed and drifted off to sleep, feeling peaceful. There was a loud noise and I screamed, waking up and sitting strait up. My tv had turned on on its own. I sighed and went to the kitchen to find nothing. I walked back out to the other room to see a commercial was on for the fair coming to town. It was opening tomorrow and a famous singer was going to be there. A picture of the contagious man popped up on the screen and I nearly fell over.
"Weird Al Yankovic will be playing at the fairgrounds and if you but a ticket, you get in the fair free!"
I smacked the tv and it shut off. I wanted to go. I needed to go.
I looked in the drawer on the table I got my keys from off of and found a hundred dollars. I nodded to myself. That's all I need. I walked outside and started walking down the street when a man in a black jacket ran by and put his hand in my pocket to grab my things. He grabbed my money and started to run when without realizing it, started to run after him. I caught up, grabbed his hood and forced him down to the ground.
"Give me my money!"
He dropped it the ground and I let him go and picked up my money.
"How did I do that?" I asked myself and started to walk to the fairgrounds. I walked by a group of girls and they stared at me like I was crazy. I ignored it but eventually, they came up to me. The leader type was first and smiled at me.
"Your going to the Weird Al Yankovic concert aren't you?"
I nodded and she grinned wider.
"So am I! My name is Sophie." She held out her hand and I shook it.
"I'm Jane."
"Do you want to walk with us? The concerts not far away and maybe we'll get seats close to each other."
I nodded and walked closer to them. I felt like I was in some sort of click or group. It was weird.
"I knew you were going because of your suit. I love Party in the CIA too!"
"Party in the CIA? Yeah." I nodded and kept walking.
"You know, I have really awesome clothes to change into at the concert but you can borrow some! I can make you look awesome!" I smiled and nodded. "That would be cool."
We reached the fairgrounds and all of the girls squealed in delight.
"We're here!"
They grabbed my hand an I followed them to the restrooms. They put their purses and backpacks on the counters and started taking things out. "Get in the stall and I'll hand you things to wear and put on, now go." She shooed me into the stall and I stood there, waiting for the clothes to come in. I took off my suit and pants and tossed them over to them. They tossed over some short shorts and a black tank top that says Time to get Weird. I smiled and walked out feeling shy. She shook her head.
"No. I need to fix your hair and give you accessories."
She took my hair out of a tight bun and let it dangle down to a little past my shoulders. She grabbed a pair of rainbow sunglasses made out of squares and put them on me and grabbed another thing from out of the bag. It was a plastic pair of small wings that were a light shade of pink and rainbow around the outside.
"Perfecto." She put her hands on her hips and smiled. "Lilly! Makeup!"
A small girl with bright red hair grabbed my shoulder and pulled me down closer to her. She applied hot pink eyeliner and black mascara.
She smiled. "Yeah, she doesn't need too much makeup."
I looked in the mirror and nodded. "Yeah. I look awesome."
Lilly whooped. "Oh yeah! One more thing!" She pinned a rainbow tail to the top of my pants and I smiled.
"Cool!"
The rest of the girls got dressed in costumes and we walked out to we're the concert was going to start. We weren't the only people dressed up. We spotted multiple guys dressed like Amish people with beards and Weird Al too. There were multiple people dressed like agents and I spotted a few that were from the place I had woken up in. There were also people dressed in random costumes and t shirts. I saw two guys walk by with two girls and I smiled and waved. The first one had super short brunet and blonde hair. She wore a T-shirt that said Lady Haha on it and I laughed at the pun. The other girl had long blonde hair and wore a perry the platypus shirt. She looked nervous while the rest looked confident. I could tell the two girls were sisters because their eyes and face were the same. The only thing different about their faces was the shape. They walked down the isle and sat in some seats in the fourth row. We walked past a couple of security guards and they tore part of our ticket of so people would know we were allowed. We sat in the third row and plopped into our seats. I was the third chair down and Lilly and Sofie were in seats two and one. I looked to the stage and found a drum set, guitars and basses and a keyboard in the back. There was a projector on the back wall that had the letters W A on them. I smiled and sat back as strange music started playing and the band members came out, one by one and Weird Al came out last. Everyone whooped and clapped for him and he smiled his contagious smile. He was in a weird multicolored t shirt, his hair was longer than the last time I saw him and he had an accordion in his hands. They started to play music and a video played up on the screen.
"Mum mum mum mah! Mum mum mum muh!" The background sang.
"Whoa, oh oh oh! Can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read my polka face!" He sang and the background sang again. "She has got to love nobody!" My head started pounding with pain, but I tried to ignore it. Then, another thing flashed in my mind. It was Weird Al, in a white suit, up in stage in some random place, singing this same song. He had shades on and his hair was strait instead of long, like it was now. I shook my head, trying to shake it off when everything turned back to normal and I was back at the concert.
"Oh no you can't, read my, po po polka face! Talkin about polka face! Po po po polka face!" Weird Al sang and the last of the music played. Everyone clapped and yelled with happiness and Lilly smiled.
"This is even cooler than I thought it would be!"
After singing Wanna B UR Lover, Another tattoo and White and Nerdy (which I very much enjoyed!) they came to the next song. Al came out in a black suit and red tie, with sunglasses on. Another pounding went off in my head and I groaned, rubbing my temples.
"Hey are you ok?" Sophie asked me and I nodded. "Yeah. I think I'm getting a migraine."
Party in the USA started to play but it sounded slightly different.
"I moved out to Langley recently, with a plain and simple dream." He started to sing and his eyes met mine. His eyes widened and he kept singing though. My head started to hurt even more and then when I thought I couldn't bear it any longer, memories started flooding into my brain. The aching stopped and the memories stopped flowing. Al's face was twisted in pain and he ran off the stage, throwing his microphone to the ground. I stood up and started to run toward the side of the stage where he had ran off to, when two security guards stopped me.
"Where do you think your going, missy?"
I narrowed my eyes and put my hands on my hips.
"I think is hurt or in trouble and I'm a doctor! I would like to see what's wrong with him so we can fix it and these good people will get their money's worth!" I told him and his eyebrows knitted with worry.
"Oh, I'm so sorry! Go ahead."
I walked to the gate and he unlocked it and let me inside. I wasn't really a doctor but I went to college to become one. I ran into the backstage and people stared at me, looking confused. I found Al, bending over by a bush and vomiting behind it and I cringed. He stood up strait and looked around, acting like nothing happened and then he saw me.
"D!" He grinned and sprinted toward me and I ran back toward him and hugged him.
"Do you remember?" I asked and he nodded looking like he was about to cry. "Yeah. I remember."
He let go of me and dropped down on his knees dramatically. "I've been living a lie!"
I started laughing and he pulled me in for another hug.
"Al!" The guitarist came down from off the stage and looked worried.
"They're all getting antsy! If you don't get out there soon they're gonna start eating each other!"
"My Lady?" He took out his hand and grabbed it. He started to walk to the stage and I suddenly got stage fright. "Wait!"
It was too late. We were already up on stage and people stopped chattering. Sophie and her friends started to wave to me and I gave a small nervous wave. I looked up at Al and his smile he was giving me suddenly gave me self confidence .
He handed me a microphone and I gave a wicked smile. "Are you guys ready to rock?!"
Everyone roared with applause and Party in the CIA started playing…
We hopped off the stage and I took a drink of water. "Whoo! That was awesome! Your lucky. They made you a rock icon and they gave me a cruddy apartment and the name Jane Morris. Yuck!"
"Ok, lets blow this Popsicle stand!" He told me and the guitarist frowned. "But what about the fans?"
"Give them a couple of free t shirts and tell them to come back on Monday and I'll be signing autographs for the first thirty who get here." He told the guitarist and he nodded. "Alright."
He ran to his van and got in. "Come on!"
I usually don't go in vans with strange people, but he is good strange. I smiled and hopped into the car and we sped away. I jumped in the front seat and he smiled while we drove.
"So what are we gonna do to those punks at the CIA?" He asked me and I felt surprised. "Nothing! We shouldn't do anything! If they catch us again, they'll wipe our memories out and separate us farther!"
"They wiped our memories! Don't you think we should get revenge? I mean, not kill revenge, but prank revenge?"
I raised my eyebrow. "Seriously?"
"What? It's not a bad idea!"
"They wiped our memories and you want to prank them?! That's crazy! I would kill someone for doing that to me but, unfortunately they are a top secret government organization that will kill us the moment we're seen around together or as an agent!" I almost shouted and Al smiled.
"Yeah! Lets get them!"
I shook my head. "You really want to kill them? Then we can't go in as ourselves. We'll get killed."
We looked at each other and almost magically, got the same idea. What if we weren't ourselves?
"Ok, so! You will be a Hispanic woman, just joining and I will be a Caucasian male. Your name is Alberta and mine is Dean."
I grabbed my flat iron and started to work at Al's hair, straitening and flattening until it was all strait hair. I grabbed my hair in a handful and grabbed a pair of scissors, chopping them off. I cringed and watched my golden locks fall to the ground in curly strands. Al grabbed some hair gel and spiked it to look more manly and I colored his body with spray on tan. (Don't worry! He had boxers on!) I applied lipstick, eyeliner, eyeshadow and mascara to his features and he got a realistic mustache and put it on my upper lip. I put a corset on to make it look like I had no chest and I bought him a new bra and put oranges in it. We both put suits on and vola! We were gender bended! I looked at myself in the mirror in awe and Al walked up to the mirror to check himself out.
"Aw yeah! I'd tap that!" He put his hands on his hips and I starred at him in horror. "I'm just joking!"
I kept looking at myself and got a little angry when I realized it just took short hair and a mustache to make me look like a man.
"I don't have a library card, but do ya mind if I check you out?" I asked Al using my best man voice and he stared at me with a strait face. Then burst out with laughter.
"I'm not buying it!"
I smacked his shoulder and he whined. "It's against the law to hit a lady!" We both starred at each other and fell to the floor, laughing our lungs out. I wiped a happy year from my eye and smiled. "Since when are you so funny? You used to be all serious, now your all dressing like a woman and laughing with me."