Chapter 5
Destiny of the heart
Squall just sat on the bench not saying anything. He wanted to, but he couldn't.
It was as if someone tore out a piece of him. He felt emptiness, complete and utterly emptiness.
The words of Quistis had struck him like a lightning bolt. His mind raced trough the possible things that might have happened to Ellone. He wanted to ask, but he couldn't, he was to afraid to ask. He feared the answer that he might receive if he asked. But still he wanted to know, he needed to know if he were to deal with this feeling of emptiness.
Finally after what seemed like an eternal silence Squall looked back at Quistis.
He opened his mouth to speak, words forming in his mind, but the words wouldn't come.
It was as if he was choking on the words he tried to say, as if someone had cut out his tong.
Squall closed his eyes as if he was afraid to see the reaction of Quistis were he to ask the inevitable quiestion. He concentrated every ounce of his mind on saying those words as if he was learning to speak for the very first time.
Finally the choking feeling in his throat faded away and the words formed on his lips.
"What happened to her?". Squall finally asked feeling the bitterness of the words on his tong as he spoke them.
"She's been kidnapped." Quistis replied as calm as she could, trying her best to hide the desperation in her voice. "When I went back to Garden she came with me. She wanted to see you, she wanted to see with her own eyes that you were still alive." Quistis paused for a moment and looked at Squall. She swallowed the lump that had formed itself in her throat because she knew that saying the next words would be equal to admitting failure.
She bowed her head and continued talking again, feeling as if she was making a confession, a confession of her own failure. "We headed to the car which was parked a few miles east from Esthar. When we arrived there a group of soldiers of some sort ambushed us. I.. I tried my best but I couldn't handle them all. They grabbed Ellone and took of in what looked like some sort of mini aircraft. I followed them in the them in the car as long as I could and I just managed to see the aircraft land on an island a couple of miles from Esthar. But I couldn't do anything, I couldn't protect her. I failed, I.. I'm sorry Squall."
Squall looked at Quistis and she turned her eyes away from him as he did so.
He could see the tears welling up in her eyes. The expression of pain formed on her face.
He heard the desperation in her voice as she spoke.
"Quistis, it's not your fault. No one could've taking on all those men single handed. You haven't failed, you gave everything you had." He said trying to reassure her as best as he could.
"Thank you" Was all that Quistis could say.
"Hey, at least we know that she's still alive. Now we still have a chance of getting her back."
"Yeah, you're right. If they wanted her dead they would have probably already done that."
"That's right. Now we just need to get to that island and get her back."
Squall grabbed his black leather gloves that were lying on the table and he stood up from the bench.
"Come one people let's go we can't waste any time." Squall said.
But as he was just about to head towards the cafeteria exit he felt someone grabbing his arm.
He turned around and saw that it was Rinoa who had grabbed him by the arm.
"Squall you can't." Rinoa said. "You're still to weak, you can't go."
"Yeah man you had a hard time just trying to sit down and now you just want to go on a rescue mission. That's just plain nuts man." Zell said, backing up Rinoa's words.
Squall looked at them both and sighed.
He gently grabbed Rinoa's hand and held it between his own two hands as he sat down gazing in to her soft brown eyes.
"Look Rinoa. I have to go." Squall said as he gently placed his right hand on her cheek.
"But.." Rinoa tried to reply, but was immediately cut of by Squall.
"No Rinoa. She is the closest thing to a sister I ever had, the closest thing to a family. I just can't sit here knowing that something might happen to her. I have to help her even if it is nuts, even if it means that I'm taking a very high risk. I need to do this. Please."
Rinoa sighed. She didn't want him to go, but she understood what he was saying, she knew he had to go.
"Okay." She said. "I understand, just be careful."
"I will, don't worry." Squall said.
He stood up again.
"Okay people let's go we've got a family member to save."
And together with Rinoa -holding her close to him- and the other SeeDs he walked of heading towards his first mission in a long time, heading to his destiny.
**********************
After a short time they reached the Ragnarok which was stationed in a special hangar not to far from Balamb Garden.
As they entered the cockpit of the mighty aircraft Selphie immediately jumped in the Pilot seat. "Hey Raggy I'm back. Are you up for some fun." Selphie said, looking at the control panel as if she were talking to a real person.
Irvine looked at Selphie with a frown on his face. "Raggy? You are calling this thing here Raggy?"
At this point Selphie turned a quarter to the right to face Irvine. "Yeah, so? I call you Irvy don't I? So why not call him Raggy?"
"Him? Selphie umm you do realize this is just a machine do you?" Irvine said, scratching the back of his head which caused his hat to tilt forward a little.
"DUHHHH, of course I do dummy. I just don't want to call it a thing, because this thing here is a better listener then all of you guys put together." Selphie paused for a moment and looked at Squall. "Well except for maybe Squall over there. He's a great listener to, doesn't interrupt you a single time, just like Raggy here." Selphie added to her own sentence with a mocking grin on her face.
Squall however didn't even seem to hear Selphie as he walked over to the cockpit window and looked out into the soft blue sky and the mighty sea that lay before them. He bowed his head a little and looked down at the blade dangling at his side. He slowly grabbed the handle of the blade and closed his eyes. How long had it been? How would he perform out there? Did he still had what it took to be a warrior or had he forgotten everything he knew? Would he even be able to fight or would his mind and body simply fail him?
All those thoughts crossed his mind within the blink of an eye, but when he opened his eyes again and gave the this time more soft blue sky and calmer sea another look he realized that right now he didn't care. All he cared about now was getting Ellone back and staying by Rinoa's side.
So you see Squall he thought as he tightened his grip on the gunblade's handle -still dangling on his side- You can't die out there. No matter what happens you've got to keep going for Ellone's sake…. and especially for Rinoa.
Squall closed his eyes again and slowly nodded as if he agreed with himself that he wouldn't die out there, that he would live for Ellone, for Rinoa. That I swear.
"Earth to Squall, earth to Squall." Selphie yelled causing Squall's mind to skip back to reality.
"Huh, yeah what is it Selphie?" Squall replied a bit disoriented.
"It's doctor Kadowaki, she wants to speak to you." Selphie said as she pointed to the ship's radio. -which was on the left side of the cockpit-
"Fine." Squall replied with a heavy sigh and a reluctant undertone in his voice because he knew what she was going to say and he also knew that she knew that he probably wouldn't listen, so why even bother. Nevertheless he walked to the radio and pressed the button which would open the communication link.
Squall took a deep breath and finally opened his mouth to speak.
"Squall here." He said trying not to sound to annoyed.
"Squall, this is doctor Kadowaki speaking." The voice on the other end of the line replied.
"Doctor Kadowaki. How may I help you?" Squall said acting as if he had absolutely no clue why she called him.
"Well what do you think." Kadowaki replied with quit a bit of an angry undertone in her voice -which didn't go unnoticed by Squall and his fellow passengers- "Just what do you think you're doing. I thought I made myself clear when I said 'no more heroics'."
"I know doctor but…"
"And furthermore." Kadowaki continued not even listening to Squall. "If you had just come by my office first I could have tried something that might very well heal that wound of yours."
"That's great doctor." Squall replied as he quickly glanced over to Rinoa which he immediately regretted when he saw the look on her face, almost pleading him to go see doctor Kadowaki.
Squall turned his attention to the radio again and tried to avoid any looks from Rinoa or his other friends as he continued to speak. "I'll come by your office as soon as we're back."
"You don't get it do you?" Kadowaki replied sounding very angry and yet also very concerned. "If you go out there now and your wound gets ripped open again for some reason you probably won't make it back this time."
"We'll worry about that when it happens." Squall replied coldly.
"Young man I…".
But Squall didn't gave doctor Kadowaki a chance to finish her sentence and quickly interrupted her. "Squall out." And almost at the same time as he said those words Squall pushed the button again and switched of the communications link.
Squall took a few steps back from the radio and turned a quarter to his right to Selphie who was sitting in the pilot seat -ignoring the fact that everybody was looking at him- "Selphie set a course towards Esthar."
"But Squall." Quistis said as Squall turned his head to the right where she was sitting in the auto-gun chair. "Didn't you hear what doctor Kadowaki said. You probably wont make it back if your wound tears open again."
"Of course I heard what she said Quistis, but if I go see doctor Kadowaki now it may very well be possible that by the time she's finished Ellone is already dead. We can't afford to waste any time on this one."
"Then let us handle this one and you go see doctor Kadowaki." Quistis said trying her best to convince Squall that it would be for the better if he stayed behind.
"No, there is no way I'm staying here, knowing that if something goes wrong I might have been able to prevent it. So try as you might Quistis but there is absolutely no way you can convince me to stay. And by the way, I am not going to die out there." Squall replied as he waved his arms a little in a gesture to back his own words.
"How do you know that!" Quistis almost yelled as she waved her right hand wildly at Squall.
Squall didn't say anything for a moment as he folded his arms in front of his chest and bowed his head a little. "Because I promised myself not to leave Rinoa's side." He finally said turning his head to where Rinoa was standing and he noticed that a small smile formed itself on her face.
She believed him when he said that he wouldn't die out there, because she knew that he would never brake his promise.
Rinoa walked over to where Squall was standing. She gently grabbed hold of his arm and made him turn around so that he would face her directly. She took a moment to gaze in his deep blue eyes and she saw in them all his sorrow, all his pain, all his laughter. But most importantly of all, she saw all of his love, his love for Ellone, is love for his friends and especially his love for her.
She raised her hand to his face and gently stroked away a bit of hair that was hanging in front of his eyes. He closed his eyes and let the feeling of her soft hand touching his overwhelm him and with her hand still touching his face he grabbed her by the waist and gently drew him closer to him.
Squall opened his eyes again and stared down -seeing that Rinoa was was quit a bit shorter than him- into her soft brown eyes in which he for one also could see her love for him.
"I promise you that I won't die out there, I won't leave your side Rinoa." Squall whispered in a gentle suiting voice.
"I know." Rinoa replied softly as a small smile formed on her face and he could see in her eyes that she believed him.
Squall raised his right hand to Rinoa's head and gently pulling it closer he gave a soft kiss on her forehead. She closed her eyes for a second and let the overwhelming feeling of comfort, safety and love flow trough her body and mind. It was something she had never felt with anyone except Squall. She hadn't even felt this way with Seifer although they had been together for quite some time and it were moments as these that she knew that she and Squall were meant to be together.
Rinoa turned here head away from Squall and turned her attention to Quistis. "You heard what he said Quistis. He promised he won't die out there and I know he won't break that promise." Rinoa said, fully convinced of her own words.
"Fine, if you really believe him and if you really think that he's doing the right thing then I guess that there is no use in arguing." Quistis replied as she let out a deep sigh and admitted her defeat. There was no way she could convince him to stay behind, especially now that Rinoa backed him up. So she choose not to argue anymore and simply focus on the task at hand.
Quistis turned her attention away from the two lovers and adressed Selphie. "Well Selphie, you heard what the man said. Take us out of here."
"Whooo-hoooo. Will do." Selphie replied excitedly as she quickly started to push a few buttons here and there, preparing for take of.
"Oh yeah!!!" Zell yelled. "Time to, get-it-on!!!" and he furiously started shadow boxing, preparing for the battle that was about to come. However this proved not to be a good idea, because he didn't notice that everyone returned to their seats and that Selphie was ready for take of until it was to late and he was propelled right back into his seat. "OOOOFFF." Was all that Zell managed to say as he was slammed back into his seat.
After shaking his head he directed his attention to Selphie. "Hey, couldn't you have at least warned me before you took of." Zell said rubbing his lower-back with a painful expression on his face.
"Sorry 'bout that." Selphie yelled back with a sheepish grin on her face and she opened up the throttle even more sending the Ragnarok flying towards his destination at full speed.