The Blame Game

by Eyes-of-Pearl

COMPLETED REELA! There comes a period of sadness with any marriage, a point where husband and wife drifts apart. For our Reela couple, this is one of them. Part of the series, Diaries of Neela and Ray.

The Blame Game

by: Eyes-of-Pearl

Rating: K+

Disclaimer: ER and A Walk to Remember (which includes the movie and its soundtrack) belongs to their respective owners.

Author's Note: AU. Some of you who have read "In This Life" ITF may be interested to know that I am beginning a new series entitled, "Diaries of Neela and Ray." The DNR Series will feature various one-shots or vignettes, that are part of the universe of ITF. Those who haven't read the story, I would advise you to do so. These spinoffs will be spoilerish but I don't think it is necessary for the understanding of this particular story.

This takes places around the end of ITF, but before the epilogue.

Synopsis: There comes a period of sadness with any marriage, a point where husband and wife drifts apart. For our Reela couple, this is one of them.

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The Blame Game

Should Have...

I'm a bad mother. No - I'm not a mother anymore, just a poor substitute of a wife. It's my fault, you know. I should have taken better care of myself. I should have listened to the obstetrician when she told me to eat more vitamins. I should have taken more supplements, get more folic acid into my system. At the very least, I should have gotten myself checked out. I should have stayed inside, rather than insisting that I was fine to work. I should have understood my body better than anybody else. I should have known that something was wrong. I should have been able to carry that baby to term. I should have, but I didn't. I'm a bad person.

Could Have...

I could have been a better husband. I could have stopped to ask her how she was feeling every morning and every afternoon and then, again at night. I could have insisted that she took some time off and just enjoyed the pregnancy. I could have given away that last shift and pretended that I was sick. I could have been there for her, when she found out that she lost the baby. I could have stayed and told her that I still loved her. I could have done more, instead of running away, but I couldn't. And, it's all my fault.

The End

AN: I wrote this to let out some of my own frustrations. In retrospect, I find this piece to be very unstructured, too choppy, seemingly lack of plot. I apologize for what-I-think is poor quality drabble, but I just can't find it within myself to rewrite it.