Prompt: Write about an accidental murder with an unusual weapon.
Tseng was silent as he surveyed the wrecked room. Curtains were ripped from their place and the sofa was sprawled on the floor with the stuffings from the cushions spilling like intestines from a human. Framed pictures were smashed and there were marks on the wooden floor, indicating that was a struggle judging by the gorge and depth of the holes.
The cleanup crew of Shinra were milling around the room, trying to right the place and avoiding the puddles of white goop on the floor. Some of the white stuff were even smeared on the wall it seems like. In the middle of the room was the coroner who was bent over a stretcher which held a still figure.
Amid the chaos, sitting in a chair in the corner, holding an ice pack to his head, was Reno, his eyes glazed over, almost closed. Rude stood behind him, a formidable cutting figure in an impeccable suit. Reno looked the same as usual with a crumpled suit and loose collar, minus a tie. The only thing indicating Reno was a little bit worse for wear were the bruises around his neck and a bruise on his cheekbone.
Bearing the scene no longer, Tseng walked over to where his two subordinates were. Rude gave a salute while Reno just glanced up at him and said quite cheekily despite having dull eyes since he was doped on painkillers, "Yo boss man. What's up?"
Rude just shook his head at his partner's antics and continued to stand guard over the two Turks, eliminating unwanted presences in their immediate surrounding.
Tseng just stared at Reno before sighing wearily. "Reno. You would be the only person in the company to kill someone with cream cheese."
Reno waved a hand at Tseng. "Maaa! It wasn't even my fault! How the hell should I know the dude was lactose intolerant?"
Tseng rubbed his forehead. "And Rude. How come you were not at home to stop this unfortunate accident?"
Reno exploded with laughter and cut off Rude who was about to reply. "Unfortunate accident? The dude was asking for it! I was just offering him the bestest cream cheese in the world and he just plain denies it in my face! I can't let that go yo!"
Rude face palmed and Tseng said in a calm voice, "First of all Reno, bestest is not a word. But before I give a report to Vled about how you killed off another rookie, do tell me what exactly happened so I can see what the repercussions will be."
"Reper- what?" asked Reno as he scratched the back of his head with the ice pack which burst open, spilling ice on the floor.
"Repercussion, Reno. It means consequences. How in Gaia's name did you make it to the Turks when you don't even know half the words I use when Vled and I are giving out orders?", Tseng questioned as Rude deftly took the ruined ice pack away and gave his partner a new one while sending off vibes that clearly stated that Reno shouldn't be messing around.
Reno ignored Rude's irritation towards him and Tseng's obvious jibe about his illiteracy (The painkillers must be doing wonders, Tseng thinks), and started his story of how he killed another rookie Turk, who was one of the best in his year and could take out 10 snipers in 15 seconds, with nothing but cream cheese.