Disclaimer: All characters you recognize belong to Janet Evanovich. I make no profit from this attempt.
A/N: This one is a little later than I had planned. I'm working on a chapter story, but needed a diversion in the form of a quick, funny one-shot. Thanks to FairTaxGirl and Margaret Fowler for reviewing this one for me. Happy New Year, Babes!
A Happy New Year
It was New Year's Eve and I was standing in the Trenton Police Department getting laughed at. I was covered in whipped cream, which might be a good thing if I was a donut or an ice cream sundae, but unfortunately I'm neither of those things. I'm a 31 year old woman watching a room full of cops laugh and exchange money.
But, dammit, I got my skip. Okay, so he was a 65 year old man with a very strange fetish for dessert condiments, but still, I got him. I don't want to ponder the details of the capture. Let's just say I'm lucky I wasn't covered in rainbow sprinkles, too. I did sneak a few pineapple chunks, though. It had been a long time since lunch.
One of the laughing cops was Joe Morelli, my own personal long-term, insufferable pain in the ass of an ex-boyfriend. Joe was a good guy, but right now he was on my shit list because I saw him take a hundred dollar bill from Gaspick, meaning that he had been joining in on the betting. Joe was standing between Gaspick and Costanza and I noticed a T.V. on beside them, showing that it was only a few minutes to midnight. I guess even the cops liked to watch the ball drop in Times Square.
Joe sauntered over to me and gave me one of his bad boy grins. Joe was an extremely good-looking man, but I was immune to his charms by this point in my life. He leaned close and said, "Since you come equipped with whipped cream tonight, let's take advantage of it." I saw him snake his tongue out towards my neck and I backed up quickly.
"You've got to be kidding me," I said.
"Oh, come on, Cupcake. It's New Year's Eve. What's a little fun between old friends? I know you want that midnight kiss and I know exactly how to make you happy." He moved in a little closer and in the background I heard the countdown start on the television. I stepped back from Joe again and was just about to read him the riot act when I heard from behind me, "Hey, Bomber. Happy New Year." I turned and saw Cal, Bobby and Lester bringing in a skip. All of a sudden I had a completely wicked thought and Evil Stephanie took over.
With as much sex appeal as I could manage while covered from head to toe in whipped cream, I turned, walked up to Cal, stood on my tippy toes and kissed him for all I was worth. Cal was in shock. Cal ws a friggin statue. When I backed up, his eyes were wide and his entire face matched the red in his flaming skull tattoo. I whispered seductively, "Happy New Year, Cal," and moved on to Bobby.
Bobby looked at me warily, obviously onto what I was doing. I stepped up to him, tilted my face up and said, "Kiss me." He lowered his head and gave me a very chaste kiss on the mouth. "Happy New Year, Bomber" he said. Bobby was much too serious and responsible. I rolled my eyes at him and moved on to Lester.
Lester had a sexy little grin on his face and I knew I would have no problems with him. Before I could step closer to him, he grabbed me around the waist and dipped me, giving me a slow, sensual kiss with lots of tongue. He kissed me for so long that I forgot about my little game and wrapped my arms around his neck. After a moment, I heard several throats being cleared. I heard Bobby as he stepped closer and whispered to Lester, "Bossman will kick your ass for this." Lester ended the kiss, grinned at me and said, "It was worth it," before he released me.
I rebounded quickly and turned to a wide-eyed and gaping Joe, and said, "As you can see, my New Year's Eve kiss is taken care of." I then turned and marched my whipped cream covered ass right out the front door, feeling very pleased with myself.
I was practically skipping when I rounded the corner in the parking lot and saw Ranger leaning against his Mercedes, parked right behind my latest POS. I gasped in shock. Ranger had been "in the wind" for the last several weeks and I had missed him terribly. I missed his touch and his attention, his smell, his checking up on me and all the other little things that make Ranger who he is. But most of all, I missed the feeling I got when I was with him. That warm, tingly feeling that all was right in the world and I was where I was supposed to be. As I walked over to him, I could see the corners of his mouth tilt up slightly – Ranger's version of a smile.
When I reached him, he grabbed my hand and pulled me into his chest. "If you wanted a kiss, all you had to do was ask." He put a hand on either side of my face and leaned in. I felt myself moan as his tongue slipped in and caressed mine. He moved a hand to the back of my neck and slowly kneaded my flesh as he gave me the New Year's Eve kiss of a lifetime.
He stepped back and observed me, his hand caressing my cheek. "Happy New Year, Babe."
I smiled and said, "Happy New Year, Ranger."
He took my hand and led me around to the passenger door of his car. I pointed down to indicate my stained clothes and he said, "Don't worry about it."
He walked around, climbed in and started the car, turning up the heater for me. He looked at me, pushed a stray hair out of my face and said, "I thought we could spend New Year's together. I missed you, Babe."
I smiled. This year was definitely starting on the right note. "Sounds good to me," I said.
His eyes twinkled as he said, "I take it Morelli was giving you trouble at the station."
I cringed that he had no doubt seen my behavior and tried to explain. "I was just trying to…"
Ranger stopped me, saying, "I know, Babe," causing me to let out a breath in relief.
As we drove toward Haywood, Ranger took out his cell phone and placed a call. He said, "Mats, 0500," and hung up. I raised my eyebrows in a silent question and he said, "Lester enjoyed himself a little too much."
I laughed as he drove us toward Haywood. The New Year was definitely looking up.