Creating new Journal entry...
Created.
Initiating voice recording systems...
Done.
Speak anytime.
Alright... where to begin? *Sigh* I guess the beginning would be good, eh? So, I just got assigned to this little research base in the middle of Alaska, nothing big really. The scientists say they're researching time travel, but I doubt it. Probably just a story to keep me alert out in the cold. Something about a... slipstream? I dunno. Sounds stupid, right? Wait, who am I supposed to be talking to?
Try your girlfriend! *Various laughter*
Yeah yeah, screw you too Boris. *Sigh* That was my annoying co-conspirator, Boris Tremlowe. He's the most Chinese man you'll meet.
Hell yeah I am!
My point exactly. Anyways, turns out there's this cute hottie on the base, only 19 years old, nice butt. It's the accent that melts me, however. Always had a thing for British girls...
You're a goddamn pimp! What is this, Open Season?
Hey, you know me and Alex aren't a thing anymore! Now shut-up, and go back to your goddamn rice!
*Various laughter, inaudible words*
So yeah. Her name's Lena Oxton, a.k.a. "Tracer". No idea why the hell she's called that, though. Then again, I suppose my nickname was CoCo. Yes, cheesy, I know.
Mine was Kinky, alright? So shut-up about your nickname and continue the story! *Laughter*
Fair enough. That was Brian Kink, a.k.a. "Kinky". He's not as annoying as Boris, but he's still pretty high on the annoyance chart.
Continue!
Alright alright, I'm done! So, Lena is actually really nice, which I found out earlier today. I was carrying three crates of ammo that Boris and Brian had dumped on me, and I, well, ran into her. Well, she ran into me. You see, she was playing, and I kid you not, TAG in the hangar. With whom, you ask? The latest addition to our squad, a brand spankin' new SST Laboratories Siege Automaton. She was playing tag with a robotic turret.
Oh, oh, remember what she called it?
Wha- oh, yeah! She called the thing "Bastion", like you can name a turret. She even talked with it, as if it could talk back. She's got a pretty face and a nice ass, but she's not all that right up in the noggin.
It is an A.I. Its central cortex has been programmed to be adept at understanding phrases articulated by peo-
Shut-up Kai! Nobody understands your nerd speak.
That's absurd! Just because your Chinese cranium hasn't developed enough to understand the words I utter, doesn't mean-
Kai, stop. You're digging your own grave.
I'll have you know that I don't in-
KAI! SHUT. UP.
*Sigh* That little exchange was between Boris and Kai Dexter, our resident medic and all around nerd.
I heard that.
I know you did, that's why I said it. Anywa-
*Loudspeakers* LIGHTS OUT IN 3 MINUTES
Aw crap, alright, well, looks like that's it for this entry. I guess I'll.. see you tomorrow?
Getting a little familiar with that thing, eh?
Shut-up Boris!
*Laughter*