Title: Down the Rabbit Hole

Author: Gracie

Rating: PG

Pairing: Unrequited Syd/Weiss

Spoilers: "Reunion"

Summary: Inside the mind of Eric Weiss.  His motivations for buying the book.

I just wanted to make her smile.  A real, honest-to-God smile, not one of those, "Gee, Weiss, you're such a goob" grins, that, let's face it, I get from 90% of the female population I encounter.  No, I wanted a genuine "you're my friend and you make me happy" kind of smile from Sydney Bristow.

            I just wanted to make her forget for a moment that two years of her life were stolen from her.  That her father spent part of those two years in solitary confinement because he was working with her mother to try and find her.  That her best friend was murdered and replaced by a clone.  That her other best friend is now in the Witness Protection Program and can no longer be a part of her life.  That no one knows where her mother is.  That the bastard who ordered the assassination of her fiancée and effectively destroyed her life is a free man.

            That the man she's still in love with is happily married.

            Making her forget those things is a pretty tall order for a guy whose primary social skills involve yo-yo tricks.

            So I got drunk with her in her new apartment.  I answered her questions, and listened to her cry.  I made my famous homemade pizza.  None of it was enough.  Not that I expected it ever would be.

            I know I'm not Mike.  I don't even want to be, not really.  Sure, he almost always gets the girl, but c'mon, you know it's just because he speaks French.  Plus he has the whole broody vulnerability thing going on.

            He's my best friend, and sometimes I hate him.

            I suppose that's something Sydney and I have in common now.  Yeah, she still loves him and all, but I know that sometimes she hates him too.  And I can understand that.  Maybe that's why she sees me now, as a friend, instead of just Vaughn's pal who might know where he is.  Whatever the reason, I'm glad it happened.  Gift horse.  Mouth.  Not arguing.

            Not that I'm glad she had to go through all that crap, but…  Well, you know what I mean.  Practically every guy she meets is a little bit in love with her.  I never was.  She was Vaughn's girl from the get-go, and friends don't go there.

            But then I asked her if she missed any of her stuff.  It was like that question, "If you could only rescue three things from your burning house, what would you take?"  Most people go with the obvious stuff, like pictures or journals or their pets.  Not Sydney.

            Sydney picked her first edition Alice in Wonderland, a gift from the woman she knew as Laura Bristow.  Before her mother died.  Before Project Christmas.  Before Sloane.  Before Irina Derevko.  Before SD-6, K-Directorate, the CIA, and Michael Vaughn.

            I figured, what the hell?  How hard would it be to get her a new copy of the book?  I checked the used bookstores, and came up empty.  A visit to eBay made me realize just how monetarily precious the book was.  Somehow, I didn't think that was why Syd wanted it.  So I settled for the Third Edition, and I left it on her desk.  I didn't want to make a big production out of it; didn't want too many questions.  But I needed to know that she liked it, and that she understood.

            And she hugged me.

            And she cried.

            And she smiled.  A real, honest-to-God smile.

            And damned if I didn't fall down the rabbit hole and halfway in love with her right there and then.