Into The Shadows
Summary: In every aspect of her life, Chrome (formerly known as Nagi) had always been overshadowed with everyone else. And she's alright with that.
It was always like this since the beginning.
Even her own birth was kept in the dark by her own mother.
The beautiful and world-renowned actress Amane Natsuko had a secret affair with a married man and if the public knew that she had an illicit affair with the said man; her rise to fame would've cut short.
Her manager had firmly advised her to keep her pregnancy a secret and to end her relationship with the only man she ever loved or else face the scrutiny of the public for having a love affair with someone who has his own family.
When Nagi was born- Natsuko couldn't stand the sight of her.
Nagi looked too similar to that man and she wanted to erase his existence from her life but he left an imprint.
A painful reminder of what she could never have. And this child was nothing more than a constant slap on the face as she tried to live her dream of becoming a star.
As Nagi grew; she was always left in the dark while her mother attended junkets, premiers and lavish parties. Even as a toddler, she had never heard her mother talk to her the way everyone else's mother does. Just curt acknowledgements and jarring criticisms but the child had learned to take everything in and let it roll over her back.
The young girl learned to live in the background.
At school, she was always picked last; seldom getting invited to a group at all as her wallflower attitude was off-putting for other vibrant youth. A gloomy face and a soft-spoken attitude can rub other people the wrong way but it wasn't because she didn't like other people; she just didn't know how to talk to them without her bashfulness getting in the way.
Her mother hated her stutters and calls her a pitiful child.
Nagi believed her.
So she tried talking to herself in the mirror; forcing to look at herself on the eyes and hold a one-sided conversation about the weather, animals, even nonsensical things about how the sound of a bird's chirp would resound through the trees and the small white flower that grew by the side of the road.
There's no one to witness her efforts but the shadows.
But the shadows can only be her company and everyone else seems to think the worst of her. She may have some skills in several areas but she was quickly overshadowed by others' talent.
She stopped nurturing her own gifts.
The fateful day came when she saw a small black cat run through the road.
She was on her way to school; trudging behind her schoolmates who either ignored her or wholly forgot her presence when a passing car blared its horn as it sped through the streets. Everything seemed to have run in slow motion.
Thirty-five seconds.
It took her thirty five seconds to push through the group of girls and on to the oncoming traffic.
Seven seconds to scoop up the cat away from harm.
Ten seconds for her to hear the screech of the tires and the thundering roar of her heartbeat in her ears.
Three seconds to hear the garbled screams from the girls behind her.
Five seconds to feel the impact of the car from the front to the hood.
A second to realize that she might die.
Ten beats of her heart to know that it won't matter to anyone
Darkness seemed to have trapped her in eternity; flashes of light come and go but the pain of her body was nothing compared to the sights and words she was unfortunate enough to witness.
Her mother whom she thought would show a bit of kindness or even slight concern merely looked at her with cold blue eyes and her step-father that considered her a burden was merely annoyed by the fact that he was called away from a meeting just to be told that she had an accident.
"I'm not going to give my own organs to that stupid girl!"
"But madam- your daughter!"
"Then let her die! Tch, little idiot almost killed herself for a cat... Never understood her.."
'That's because you never tried to get to know me' Nagi wanted to scream out.
To rage, to cry and to blame.
But now she just felt tired and darkness surrounded her. But she welcomed the shadows like a friend. The only thing that was with her ever since she could remember was the shadows.
Rokudo Mukuro then came.
For the first time, she felt that someone- an actual human being, who sees her as someone that matters. The only one who was gentle to her. Talks to her and even listens to what she has to say.
There's something about this young man that drew her like a moth to a flame.
He had offered her a chance to live. To be one with the light again if she will accept him.
And she did.
Amane Nagi died
and
Dokuro Chrome was born
For months she had endured different things; battle wounds, hurtful words from the people whom she calls 'friends' and the enemies who assumed that she was merely a vessel to house the infamous Rokudo Mukuro's soul while his body was encased in Vendicare Prison.
But despite the hardships, she found different facets of light that began to brighten her rather dim outlook on life.
While she considered the Kokuyo Gang to be her precious people (since Mukuro cared for them, she automatically cared for them as well); the Vongola Famiglia became her sunlight.
Though she was greatly overshadowed by her friends as Kyoko is Namimori Middle's Idol with almost every student worshipping her, and Haru's bright personality can easily outshine her despondent one- Chrome was more than content to be with them.
Like the shadow, she's always by their side.
Silent but constant and recurring.
The boss was the all-encompassing sky to her. Other than Mukuro and the girls, he showed her complete kindness and sincerity. She would be forever grateful to be by his side and serve as a guardian.
Her fellow guardians slowly intertwined with her bleak life.
Yamamoto had always given her a sense of calmness and his friendly nature had aspired her to be as open as he was.
Kyoko's energetic onii-chan, Ryohei- the bright sun; made her realize that she must face her challenges head on with self-confidence and determination.
The storm guardian whom she refers as 'Storm-san' was trickier.
While Ken was always brash and can be downright tactless with insults and off-handed comments, Gokudera was short-tempered and explosive like his preferred weapon.
But as Chrome spent more time in Namimori as their classmate, he was like the storm personified. Dangerous and deadly but there is peacefulness after the rage and she can't help but admire his fierce loyalty to the Decimo and his calculative mind despite his abrupt impulsiveness. She wished that she could be as strong as he was.
Lambo was a peculiar child who grumbles and cries but she finds his bullheadedness charming as he's outright with his wishes and wants. His innocence was also something Chrome sees endearing.
The prefect from Hell was someone Chrome avoided as much as possible; mainly rooted when their encounters were filled with threats to Mukuro and bloodshed where Hibari would step in to a fight not to protect her, but to simply satisfy his bloodlust if the perpetrator would do something to tick him off.
Which were a lot of things.
But she still considered the wandering Cloud as a friend even if the sentiment wasn't mutual in the slightest.
They were radiant in their own way; shining at what they do (although Reborn-san would remove the boss from that list) and she- she was merely in the background.
An unassumingly quiet and delicate young woman with low constitution and painfully shy nature which can be easily ignored and she liked that advantage.
In the shadows, she can watch undisturbed. She can see and hear everything without worrying of getting caught.
Chrome had noticed this bit of talent when Ken and Chikusa were having a fight- although it was more of Ken yelling and complaining while the indifferent Chikusa listened but Chrome knew the blonde's words entered one ear and exited to the other.
He was complaining about her, on why should they have an extra mouth to feed in Kokuyo Land.
They only noticed she was there when she stepped into the light and alerted them of her presence.
Darkness was familiar and made her feel safe. It wasn't evil as most had portrayed. In a way, it was comforting and intimate, like an embrace and she didn't have to prove her worth to anyone who might see.
Just be Dokuro Chrome...
Just be Nagi.
But at the same time, her determination to be useful and strong grew.
The time Mukuro had kicked her out of the gang when she started to have doubts about herself which caused a rift between the vessel and the master. Even the shadows seemed to react the way she did.
It left her confused and alone like before.
She didn't want to be Amane Nagi; so aloof and quiet that no one acknowledges her.
At the same time, she didn't want to be known as Dokuro Chrome- Mukuro's puppet and a stand-in as Vongola's mist guardian.
Who does she want to be?
That question plagued her the moment the curse was lifted from the Arcobalenos. When Bermuda trapped checkered face in a jar to spare the fate from anyone in the future to suffer their own end; she realized that she must be strong not just for her sake but for everyone she had come to love.
She may have helped Mukuro by amplifying his powers but she knew that it wasn't her own.
Illusion making was in her nature. A natural, as Mukuro-sama and Mammon had pointed out. But she still didn't reach her potential and the thought became a mantra that repeated over and over until she had reached until the end of their days of middle school to enter the high school level.
As she fiddled with her diploma; she watched the scene under the shade of a cherry blossom tree whose petals sailed along with the wind as a sign of spring.
A rebirth.
The others were shining again as they congratulated and hugged each other.
The Decimo's mother was so happy that he had graduated and marvelled at the tons of flowers he received (unaware that those flowers came from numerous mafia famiglias who sent their well-wishes) while several other like Dino and the Shimon had appeared personally to congratulate them.
Chrome smiled when she saw Bianchi and I-pin arrive as well. Her own family which she found was now complete.
With a single step, sunlight showed her presence which Kyoko and Haru took notice and pulled her over (Haru was still wearing her own school's graduation robe) to share their happiness.
"Chrome-neechan!" I-pin called out, making everyone else look at her.
Her eye took in the smiles and gentle looks she had received from her famiglia; their sincere happiness that she was with them and acknowledging her presence as if she belonged with them resounded throughout the whole area. The warmth that was so immense she thought she would burst into tears before she realized she was already shedding one or two.
Almost everyone was taken aback and the girls naturally asked her with worry.
But she shook her head and wiped the tear from the back of her hand and gave them the brightest smile she could muster.
"Thank you... all of you... thank you!"
Kyoko and Haru wrapped her in a tight embrace which made I-pin join as well. The boys gave her smiles; ruffle on the hair from Yamamoto, an 'extreme your welcome' from Ryohei and even a hesitant pat on the head from Gokudera.
Tsuna... her kind and gentle boss, returned the smile with a brightness of a thousand suns and meekly rubbed the back of his head, muttering how he wasn't been much of a help.
As soon as the words exited from his lips, Reborn kicked him on the head while jumping out of a tiny airplane and tsk-ed;
"Baka, if someone thanks you, accept it!"
Everyone laughed (except Gokudera who rushed to help the Decimo with a rather large lump that started to swell on the side of his head) before they made their way to Yamamoto's sushi place for their party.
There was a slight brush in the depths of her psyche which alarmed her for a moment before she remembered that feeling.
'Arigatou... Mukuro-sama' she mentally said as she followed her friends.
And for the first time, she was in front with radiance following her.
-X-
The winds were harsh, in contrast to the steady snow covered area she thought she had remembered but didn't experience. A dream of something that may have happened but will never be.
Today's supposed to be her first day of being a high school student.
But here in Europe, she's a small Japanese teenager who's walking forth to her destination.
A fate that she decided.
"Why are you here?"
"... because I want to be strong..."
"Speak up! Stop fidgeting and tell me your purpose on why you're trespassing"
The old Chrome would have flinched. But her resolve was strong and she vocalized it to the man in front of her.
"I want to be strong! Please, train me!"
There was silence.
The longest five seconds of her life; mentally counting the seconds in her head and she could feel the beads of sweat form on her forehead despite the cold before-
"No."
"Is she still out there?"
"Yes"
"And...?"
"She wouldn't budge."
The small figure watched the camera feed of the security camera that focused on the teenage girl who was sitting by the doors, huddled with only a jacket to fight off the biting chill.
"How long has she been out there?"
"For four hours."
"... keep her out there."
The cold was pure torture.
It was like thousands of tiny needles slowly made their way through her skin and twisted simultaneously. Chrome knew that if she took off her gloves; it would be covered by the bluish-black tints of an oncoming frostbite.
Any sane person would have heeded the rejection and slunk away to lick their wounds but she told herself that she wouldn't give up.
Two weeks
Chrome had been coming back and forth for two weeks and stood in front of the iron door with steely determination. She had retreated when the temperature's unbearable but she still came back with her head held high and her lips- dried and chapped from the atmosphere- set into a grim straight line.
She knew she was being watched and if she was any bolder, she would have pounded the doors with her knuckles and yell for them to reconsider. But she merely stood there and showed them her resilience.
"You have stood in front of that door for two months even when we threatened you. Did you want to die so badly?"
His question resonated along the cold stone walls and the only source of light was the torches that flickered as a stray breeze entered through the cracks, making the shadows move with a haunting dance.
"I want to be strong" she parroted, voice cracked from the days spent out on the cold.
"You know of our flames. The rule is to have a physical body but yours is far less than complete."
His words had stung and insecurity washed through her but she bit the insides of her cheeks and strengthened her will. Her clothes were sopping wet and she could barely keep her teeth from chattering but she clenched her hands despite their numbness and stared at him with her one good eye.
"I accept it as a challenge for me."
"Make no mistake child; he's never one for sentimentalities. He won't care if you're a child and a female at that."
"I'm not looking for any special treatment. I want to be regarded as one of his subordinates and treat me as such."
"..."
It was then that she knew she was holding her breath when he shrug for a moment as if hearing a whisper that was meant only for him and turned to address her.
"Very well. But he wants you to take off that ridiculous hairstyle. It's very noxious to be in his presence looking like that."
In a flash, she took off the frail hair tie that held up her hair to its pineapple style. A glint of guilt flayed her when she did- as though she was almost too eager to shed her affiliation with a certain illusionist before she told herself to stop feeling so guilty all the time.
"Bermuda will see you now."
"Hai"
Behind her, she thought she heard the echoes of the front doors slam in an eerie echo.
The shadows had always been by her side.
Now she wants to be one with it.
Author's Note: First fanfic ever. I hope the characters aren't too OOC. Truth be told my guilty pleasure are crack pairs and that includes (5996 and S96)
Not sure if I'll make a series after this but I hope you guys liked it.