The road my life is on has a tendency of taking me down dead ends. The day I met him I thought I was finally on the right path. He's mysterious and dangerous the way I like them. The problem is he's my teacher. It sounds weird I know but not really. I'm 18 and he's like 23. That's only like five years apart. He's not officially my teacher anyways. He's just filling in for my English teacher who is out right now. Now back on topic. I have a feeling about him, not the kind of lovey dovey feeling but more like mysterious. I want to know more about him.
I have lived in forks all my life. Not alot has happend scine then. So today I head to school just like every morning. I pulled into that wide driveway. At the same time I saw that beautiful cherry red Farri. Of coarse you can guess it was his car! I parked along those yellow lines that stuck out next to his car. As he stepped out of his car he flipped his hair so elegantly.
"Hey look who it is!" He said teasingly. I laughed and started following him up the walk way
" What are you doing here so early?" He asked.
" I don't know I just wanted to come to school." I said totally lying. for about a half an hour I followed him everywhere like a lost puppy. Though I was more like a love puppy.
" Stephie is there a reason why you are following me?" he asked.
" I'm sorry if I'm bothering you but I don't have any where to go." " Then why are you here if you have no where to go?" "Do you want to go get some coffee?" I asked trying to change the subject.
" Sure then maybe you can explain a few things to me." He said
I sat down at a table while he ordered me a coffee. I sat there very anxious for him to come back. I pulled up my shirt noticing it was a bit too low. He sat my coffee on the table and proceeded to his chair.
" So whats up Stephie everything going OK." He said ever so smoothly the words just flowed out. I paused for a minute unsure about what I was going to say. Should I tell him my feelings right away? I began to open my mouth but when I realized I wasn't saying anything I closed it. He looked at me like I was crazy.
" Cat got your tongue?" He asked arching his big bushy eyebrows.
" Um... yea I guess I'm a little tongue tied" I said shyly. He was still looking at me awkwardly. I wanted to run but the he would think I was crazy.
" Jason.." I said using his first name. " Since the day you became my teacher there has always been something I liked about you." My words came out shaky and unreadable even to me.
" Is that what you want to talk about?" He asked probley unsure about what I just said.
" Well yes... you see its been bothering me." That sentence came out clearer then the others I have spoken before.
" To tell you the truth" He began to say but stopped and began again " I don't know what you are talking about." His words rang hard in my ears.
" You don't understand?" I said softly almost in tears in front of my teacher.
" I'm not too sure what your going on about" He said shocked by my sadness.
" Whenever I pictured this moment I always thought you would agree with me." I said wiping my face on my sweat shirt sleeve as I began to cry.
" Look not too upset you or anything but, Stephie I cant have feelings for you." He said as gentle as he could but, I was still crying while my heart was slowly breaking.
" It can never be" he said softly.
" I wish I could. Believe those words but I cant. I said shedding one more tear before I ran out of the coffee shop. I left him sitting there hopefully feeling guilty.
DEAR DIARY,
I hate Jason now more than ever. How dare he embarrass me like that. I feel like its my fault though. Maybe I shouldn't of told him how I feel. Looks like it's time to turn my life around and head up that path again. I thought this time was going to be different. I thought I finally had my life straight. I guess i should know better by now. Going to bed I kind of wish I wont wake up tomorrow. Nite!