So, first story here, kinda nervous... Well, it's just random shit that came to mind, and I sudently got the urge to write it down. So here it is, don't take it too seriously, but some feedback would be nice, to improve my english or writing style, even my story-making skill.

If you couldn't tell I'm really not good at writing things.

Anyway, onward to the fuckery!

This is the story of (un)lucky things who have nothing to do here, and have the hard choice to decide what to do in life. Some may do important, serious things that articulate around each-others to form a complex plan, or just fuck up about everything they can for shit and giggles.

Thoses beings don't have a place in this world anymore, assuming they even had one at any point in time.

They are little machines, created wayyyy before anything in the present was around (yeah, even the big bad bitch with the "holier than thou" atitude.), made once of forged metal, carefuly printed artificial bones and polished wood treated to last, all operated by artificial minds implanted in state of the art hardware...

But as time went on and the originals made more of themselves, the models became more and more ramshackle-looking, constitued of bended metal, fractured bones, barely held-together wood and whatever junk was found at the time, operated by crazy-as-hell copy-of-a-copy minds crudely transfered in a clusterfuck of wire and scavenged electronics, multiplicating until the creators of the first ones became but history and a smear on the ground.

A great cataclysm destroyed the world of then, or rather transformed it in what will be the world of now, erasing history of the before... Exept for the little, unyelding machines, sturdy enough, or rather too crazy(or is it stupid?) to accept that their time had come like everything else. Even then, the strain was too mmuch to continue functioning, so instead they slowly powered down until none was left active in their underground facility, unresponsive to a world changing above them. Forever. Or, you know, until sometihng big enough happen and kickstart the huge fuckery that they are.

So here we are now, in a world where everything and everyone is either a brainwashed cultist, being raped, raping, a huge pervert or stupid. Most anyway.

And as you suspect, the event nedded to start some shit, is, indeed, the earth-shatering impact of a flying lamia, who meet the idealistic hero yada yada... This is common knowledge, so let's focus on what it started and how. Imagine; in a massive underground building, made of countless hallways, chambers, rooms, twists and turns, cracked and partialy colapsed after many millenias, the ground was briefly shaking. Very slightly, mind you, but just enough to dislodge a bit of measonry on the cieling of the generator room. Oh, nothing to big, just a piece of concrete of amout 10 Kilo-fucking-grammes, falling from the 20 metter high ceilling of the huge room. So this huge pile of shit was falling, you'd bet it, on a fucking controle panel, pressing every button on it before completely ruining it by completely obliterationg it. But don't worry, it was suficiently badly wired for it to start the geothermal generators, powering everything down to the lights and up to the most powerfull wireless emiter around. Okay, it don't mean shit because it's the only one, but you get the idea. Btw it also powered the charging stations of the machines. So, yeah, something awfull will happen to the one who knocked down the lamia, and they started it. Krama, bitch.

Fast forward to the time when the first buch of machines was powered again;

In the biggest room available, almost everyone was there, save from the ones more attuned to the functionement of the generators to keep it running at full power.

"-Soooooooo... What now?"

The one who spoke, Jawline (yes, they all have stupid names like that, because they ran out of normal names.) could be describted as follow; a cracked sheep skull, the orbit filled with a simple camera for the right and a lightbulb surrounded by a protective cage for the left, the jaw replaced with a bear-trap. Said skull was attached to a torso in the shape of a bowling ball, giving him a hunched posture, covered in spikes, with long arms (basicaly a bunch metal rods with pneumatic pistons and servos, welded together crudely but sturdily[is this even a word?]) that end in long sharp claws made out of kitchen knives, connected to the pervis with what looked like a bulky desk lamp (you know the kind, like the pixar one) with too much articulation to be practical. The pelvis is actualy a pelvis, as in the real bone. This one had four legs, an exeptions to his two legged commrads, ending in blunt spikes. A car battery, nestled in the pelvis, vas powering him along with a small nitro engine bolted on the underside of his torso (exhaust going around the spine and pointing back and up). All in all, he stand around 1meter tall.

"-Well. We have nothing to do, we can alway go up and see what the hell is hapenning out there. Can't be worst than the Great Fuckery of Old."

This one was named Comisar. Comisar was mostly a metalic skeleton with electric motors and servos to move it around, all powered by a cold fusion reactor (that's what is writen on his chest at least, near a radioactive sign where a hearth should be. Yeah, don't open it.). slightly bigger, around 1m20, than his fellow machines, thanks to some customisation from the doc and his own tinkering. He had a chimp's skull, the regular red lens and flashlight combo for his eyes (although with a classy monocle.) , and a bulkier built than the norm. He wore an old, tattered military vest over his metallic ribcage, showing wears and tears of untold battles. Or maybe he just don't take care of it enough, who know. A huge gun was hold on his back by a belt, this gun looked like someone tool a ak-47, removed the shoulder-pad and enlarged every parts where the bullets pass through. Also it shoot railroad nails and shit like that. Yeah.

"boïz. Let's fuck shit up out dere."

This one wa know as fucktard. No it's not his real name, but he is so much of a fucktard that it stuck and that everyone forgot his name, even him. It's basicaly like someone took a V8 with a supercharger, added the hugest fuel tank they could find, and added two arms, two legs, put the most pistons, electric motors, and whatever else that can create mechanic force on the everything of it, then put a tiny gorilla skull on top of it. Seriously the only thing not completely covered in moving parts is the skull. Because it's covered in spikes. He have a special hability named "retard strenght".

Everyone was staring at him after his "speech", so he revved up his engine and flexed while yelling.

After this, Comisar scratched his jaw, thinking. Then, after a few min of Fucktard being noisy, he stepped up on a pedestal.

"You know what, he may be partialy right. We're going outside, be it to fool around, make great schemes to controle the world, or simply go on adventures! Nothing short of the gods will be able to stop us, and may the deities help those who try!"

This was followed by the biggest cheer possible. It kinda made measonry fall in some place, but whatever.

Now a little transition to the original heroes of the original story (you know, the one before I decided to butcher it with this horrible piece of crap);

On the road to Illiasburg, there was two person; a red-tailed lamia with purple skin and gray hairs, and a short dude with purple hairs.

The boy turned to the lamia; "Alice... I don't think you can enter with me. You don't loook... Human enough. You can do anything about it?"

The lamia, now know as Alice, glared at him. "Why should I change that? You are implying that there is someting wrong with me?"

"Oh, no far from it!"

"Because I can, but why would I?"

"Well, you can't go and order some ama-ama dango if you look like a monster."

"Crap, you're right for once." And then she took a human form in the blink of an eye. Yeah, fuck physic, because why folow the rules that allow the world to exist? Fuckin' degenerates... "How do I look?"

"Underdressed." Woooh, way to go little man!

So they enter the city, which is eerily quiet, and empty...

"what happened here? Where is everyone?"

"An attack maybe? Well, there better be some ama-ama dango left."

After a while and nothing happening, they heard the sounds of battle somewhere. And Alice disapeared, leaving the child alone. Oh wait, Aparently he's around 15/20 years old. Moving on...

Being the hero he is, he decide to go rescue whoever is attacked.

There is what he found in the town square; a dragonkind with a huge sword, talking down on the colapsed guards of the city.

"You are pathetic! Is there anyone here who can chalenge me?"

Right when Luka was about to yell something, a lound "MEHOY MINOY!" echoed in the streets, and a cart came soaring throug the air, almost percuting the swordslizard, were it not for her reflexes in cutting it in two... Well there was a smaller one barely one second behind it, full of fruits. It impacted her full force, covering her in various juices.

She was fuming.

"WHO DARE!?" Then she spoted the small... things prying away the armor and weapons of the downed guards, putting it on, while a group was located around where the carts came from, laughing their ass off.

"Us." This was said by none other than Comisar, staring at her smugly, standing on a barel and surrounded by a ragtag group of machines.

As you could guess, a moment of silence folowed thoses events.

Said silence was brocken by a loud "what the fffff-" from The dragon.