Happy Thanksgiving!

So, this was inspired by a conversation on the show between Natalie and Marci Mavin. (I would tell you what was said, but don't want to spoil the story for those who don't remember.) After watching it, I was surprised that no one else had tackled this great prompt (that I could find), so I took it on myself.

I would like to give thanks to my friends and family (particularly my husband) for their help and support in getting this published.

DISCLAIMER: I would also like to give thanks to Andy Breckman for coming up with this show, the writers and cast for bringing it to life, and copy-write laws that protect me from getting sued for writing this story in a way that results in pure entertainment and gives me no monetary gain.

Enjoy ...

If there was a holiday that Adrian Monk disliked the most, it was probably Thanksgiving … unless you counted New Year's Eve … and the Fourth of July … and any other holiday that involved drunk people lighting explosives outside his bedroom window. Aside from that, Thanksgiving was the worst … though Valentine's Day brought its own set of problems … No, Thanksgiving was definitely the worse. All the people, and the talking, and the eating plates filled with food that touched the other food … yes, for not having fireworks, Thanksgiving topped the list of bad holidays. With that thought in mind, Adrian had to ask himself one question:

How on God's green Earth did I find myself here?

His senses were being assaulted in every way, from the spices fighting for dominance in the bakery to the women doing the same thing over the last glazed ham. Bright lights reflected off the various signs, advertising where to go for the next fight over discounted green beans or pumpkin pies – How do people live like this?

"Mr. Monk, try to stay by the cart," Natalie advised, sorting through loaves of bread.

The instruction was insulting as well as pointless. Not only was he not a child, he had absolutely no intention of going more than three feet away from his assistant. He might never be able to find her again in the crowd!

"Is every year like this?" Adrian demanded, sidestepping to avoid getting between a rampaging woman and the eggnog display. "These people are like animals!"

"Welcome to holiday shopping," Natalie shrugged with a smile on her face.

She was enjoying this. He didn't know how, but she was. They had been "holiday shopping" for only ten minutes so far, and he was getting a headache. Would that overly cheerful music ever stop? It wasn't as if it was having any effect on the bloodthirsty savages that the store patrons had become. Halloween had been bad enough, though the craziness of that holiday had thankfully confined itself to the isles between candy and home décor, but now it seemed as though the hordes of zombies had never left! They had just traded their endless appetite for sugar into a ravenous hunger for turkey, gravy, and green bean casserole. It was almost too disturbing for words.

"Do you have a preference on pumpkin filling?" Natalie asked, stopping at yet another display.

"Yes," Adrian answered quickly, dodging another shopper. "It's a kind that's not here."

"Where do they sell it?" Natalie questioned, giving him a pointed look.

"Um … Mexico."

She rolled her eyes and picked out a can from the display. It was worth a shot. The next half hour was a study in chaos. The moment Natalie announced their list was complete, he could almost hear the halleluiah chorus. The check-out took at least ten minutes longer than it should have, but soon they were on their way to the serenity and order that was his apartment.

"I don't get what you have against Thanksgiving," Natalie commented on the drive home. "Were you traumatized by a turkey or something?"

"Nothing that dramatic," Adrian sighed, watching the houses go by. "I just never saw the point of it."

"The point?" she echoed. "It's a time to reflect on all the good things in your life! You know, find something to be thankful for."

"Like I said," he shrugged. "Not much point."

His assistant fell silent and Adrian wondered if she felt sorry for him or was plotting something. He glanced over and caught a disturbing look in her eye. She must be plotting.

"No."

"Mr. Monk, I didn't say anything!"

"You were thinking something and that's worse."

"What are you- That doesn't even make sense!"

Once again, he shrugged and turned his attention to what was outside the window. That should close the topic, but he had a bad feeling that Natalie was going to try to force her brand of jolliness into the coming holiday. He didn't see why. The last couple years had worked out for him just fine: Natalie had taken Julie to a relative's house and he had stayed home. It was perfect, but did she see it that way? No! The minute she had discovered that he had been spending the holidays alone, Natalie had reacted like some sort of supercharged elf. She had bought him all the trimmings for a big dinner – one she insisted on housing at his apartment. How much room did she think he had? No doubt she would rope Leland and Randy into her twisted scheme to make him happy.

This week is going to be a nightmare!

It took two trips when they got to the apartment to carry everything up. There were bunches of vegetable, loaves of bread, cans of everything imaginable, and a turkey that should be tested for steroids. How many people had she invited? The doorbell interrupted his thoughts and Adrian slipped out of the kitchen to answer it. Knowing better than to blindly let someone into his home, he peeked through the peephole. Instantly his heart rate increased and he stepped away from the door.

"Natalie!" he called, as softly as he could. "It's her!"

"Who?" she asked in a low voice, already moving to check for herself.

Adrian didn't bother to answer, and even if he did, he wouldn't have been able to form the words. Why did these things have to happen? The holidays alone were bad enough without adding Marci Maven to the mix.

"How can she be here?" Natalie demanded. "I thought there was a restraining order!"

"There was, but they only last for a year," Adrian lamented. "It expired in July."

"Can they reinstate it?"

He held up his hands in a helpless gesture as the doorbell rang again … and again … and again. It was clear she was not going anywhere anytime soon, and while Adrian would have been happy to disconnect the doorbell and wait her out, Natalie had other plans. She walked over to the door and removed the chain.

"What are you doing?" Adrian demanded, ducking into the living room.

"I'm just going to find out what she wants," Natalie promised.

He could hear the door open and held his breath. Marci sounded rushed, almost panicked. She was claiming it was a matter of life and death. Natalie tried to get more information, but the crazed woman wasn't giving up anything else unless it was to him directly. The tones were getting more severe and Adrian began to worry about Natalie's safety. Who really knew what Marci Maven was capable of?

"I know you are in there, Adrian! Just talk to me for a minute, okay? I'll leave right after, I promise."

The offer seemed too good to be true – and it probably was – but he would do just about anything to make the girl leave. So, ever so slowly, he approached the door.

"There you are!" Marci announced, sounding much happier than she had before. "I need your help."

"With what?"

"It's a matter of life and death," she insisted. "You just have to trust me."

"No," Adrian shook his head. "No, I really don't."

"Come on," Marci groan, some of the urgency returning to her voice. "I really need your help. I have nowhere else to go."

While something in him doubted that whatever she needed him for was that urgent, another part of him was having trouble turning her away … although, that might have more to do with her foot in the door and less with sentimentality. Still, one way or another, he and Natalie found themselves heading out to her car five minutes later.

How do these things happen?

The sedan wasn't new, but it couldn't have been more than five years old. It was thankfully a nice white color with simple, beige seat covers. At least Marci had some semblance of normality in her life.

"Hop in, Adrian," she said holding the door for him. "I know you like the front seat."

With an encouraging look from Natalie, he slipped into the car. It wasn't so bad, the seats turned out to be very comfortable. He was just reaching out to touch the beads hanging from her review mirror when the driver-side door slammed shut. Startled, he looked over to see Marci hit a button and the familiar click of four locks sounded around the car.

"Hey!" Natalie yelled, pounding on the back window. "Let me in!"

With a cackle of triumph, Marci started the car. Terrified, Adrian reached to manually unlock his door … but the knob had been removed. He could see the tool marks from whatever had been used to break it – pliers by the look of it – but he wasn't able to give it anymore thought before the car began careening down the street.

Natalie gave chase, but only as far as the corner. Adrian cried out to her, but it was no use. In seconds, his assistant was nothing more than a speak in the distance.

"Relax, Adrian," Marci instructed, giving him a smile that put sharks to shame. "I'll take care of you."

She made a left and it occurred to him that he should probably keep track of where they were heading, so he could find his way back. Three blocks down she made a right and merged into the far lane. If they stayed on this path, they would be at the interstate in minutes!

"Where are you taking me?" Adrian demanded, as soon as his voice was steady enough to do so.

"Corpus Christi," she replied calmly. "You'll love it there."

"I sincerely doubt it."

He decided not to ask what was in Texas and instead paid attention to the helicopter that had just passed over them. With any luck, it belonged to the San Francisco Police Department and he was about to be rescued … but when did he ever have luck?

"You're not going to get away with this," he stated. "Natalie-"

"I'm sick of talking about Natalie," Marci spat. "Why can't we talk about us, Adrian?"

"Us?" he repeated. "What us? There is no us!"

"There is now," she said, taking another turn.

They were seconds away from the interstate when the wonderful sound of a siren wailed right behind them. A moment later, flashing lights cut off their route from the front and side. Marci tried to make another turn to escape, but that way too was cut off. Surrounded, she had no choice but to stop. Thank God!

"Get out of the car!" Leland shouted, his tone leaving no room for argument. "Get out of the car and keep your hands where we can see them!"

Marci scowled at the police cars, but did unlock the doors and step out. As soon as he heard the click, Adrian quickly climbed out of the car and moved several feet away. Cops were coming in from all sides, descending on the two of them like locust. It was the grocery store all over again!

"Mr. Monk!"

He looked up to see Natalie, just before she grabbed him in a hug. He didn't mind, in fact he was relieved to see her.

"You okay, Monk?" Randy asked, appearing right beside them.

He nodded, but didn't speak – mostly because Natalie was squeezing him too tightly for him to do anything beyond breath. Leland came next, also verifying that Marci hadn't hurt him in any way. Once satisfied that the crazed fan had only scared him – though that was more than enough – he left to manage the scene.

"I am so sorry," Natalie said, finally letting him go. "Next time, I'll get in the car first."

"Next time, let's not open the door," he suggested. "Can we go home now?"

They had to double check with the captain, who reminded them that statements were needed to file charges. In the end, it was almost two hours later that Adrian made it back to his apartment. Most of the groceries were still sitting on the counter – though the items that needed refrigeration had already been put away, so there was no excuse to cancel the planned dinner. While Natalie took care of the food, he retreated to his favorite chair in the living room.

Staring at the book in his hands, without really reading the words, Adrien thought about the events of his day. He had come way too close to … he didn't even want to think about what awaited him in Corpus Christi! It had taken eight police cars and a helicopter to stop that women from getting him out of the city – though he had no doubt that his friends would have called in everything from the Highway Patrol to the National Guard if she had managed to get them out of San Francisco, making the state border impossible. Leland, Natalie, Randy, and the rest of the department would never let him get dragged off to Texas, especially against his will. The thought made him smile.

Maybe I do have something to be thankful for after all.

So, what do you think of my first fanfiction in this fandom?

Let me know what you think. (I do have a few longer story ideas that I am developing.)