(I do not Own One Piece, that belongs to Eiichiro Oda, I believe. Nothing except the actual story is mine.)
(PS: Review me please, so I can become a better author!)
PPS: Thank you to PRMSA 855 and Kiarra-chan for telling me that I mized up Robin's name! This was written at like 2 AM so I was a lil' out of it, if you know what I mean :)
Nami sighed and looked up at the clear blue sky. They had been sailing for a few days now; having left one of the quieter islands on the Grand Line and now were headed east. It was a perfect sailing day and she could hear Brooke playing a cheerful melody and Chopper and Luffy's clapping.
"Does the gorgeous goddess of the sea want some of my freshly caught snapper fillets?" Sanji asked in a sing-song voice. Nami chuckled and shook her head.
"I'll take some!" Zorro said as he snatched a plate from Sanji before the chef could jerk it away.
"I made that especially for Nami!" Sanji yelled. Luffy extended an arm to steal a plate and Robin caused a hand appear to take her own. Frankie merely took advantage of Sanji chasing Zorro and snatched his plate then. Nami giggled at how everyone had their own tactics on taking their food from the eccentric chef. Today was a truly perfect day.
Tomorrow? Tomorrow was not.
In the wee hours of the next day, Nami woke up early in the morning to the sound of someone vomiting. She tried to cover her ears with her pillow. It was a sickening noise, one that almost could make her vomit by just listening. The noises increased and grew louder, causing Nami to snatch another pillow to try and cover her ears.
Zorro had run to the edge of the ship and was the first to vomit. He felt miserable, his stomach was twisting and turning and it felt like he was being stabbed with one of his own blades. His throat burned and his eyes watered. "I'm too strong to…urk-" He mumbled to himself, leaning over the edge again. Next came running Robin. She had a hand growing from her shoulder covering her mouth and almost jumped into the sea. She was followed by Frankie.
"I'm gonna kill that sorry excuse for a chef!" Zorro groaned. He knew it was the snapper. He never got sick. Food poisoning was the only excuse. The weakened man walked to one of his swords, clutching his stomach, and dragged his sword to the door. He opened it and found Luffy standing with his hand looking like it was going to open the door himself. Then, he too lurched and vomited…all over Zorro's feet. The already furious swordsman moved his captain aside and walked with his now disgusting shoes into Sanji's sleeping quarters. The more discomfort he caused the crappy chef, the better. He punched the hammock and Sanji fell out and hit the floor.
The first thought that occurred to the chef was that Zorro's feet smelled awful. Zorro shoved the man up and pointed a dagger into his back, leading Sanji to the sick crew and captain.
"What did you put in that poisoned fish?" He asked. At this point, Zorro was only thinking about how much blood he was going to have to clean up. He never liked Sanji anyway.
"I don't poison my food you idiot, I am a five star chef! You must have the flu!" Sanji yelled. First this moron wakes me up, and now he says I gave them food poisoning? I would never endanger Robin or Nami like that! The blonde thought.
Zorro glowered at the chef. He looked like a demonic figure only illuminated by the selective moonlight. The sounds of moans, groans, and sickness only added to the frightful image.
"Kill him…" Frankie agreed. Zoro ran to the edge to once again expel his sickness and returned to pick up Sanji. Blood was too much to clean up; it would be easier to throw him over the mast.
"I DIDN'T DO IT YOU NEANDERTHAL!" Sanji yelled at the top of his lungs. Zorro had his legs strongly in an inescapable grip. The crew members except Luffy all contributed, furious at their misfortune. Luffy had appeared to be passed out.
"PUT ME DOWN!" The chef screamed. If he couldn't kick, he could at least scream. Lucky for him, his screams had woken up Nami and attracted Brooke. Chopper walked groggily and slept next to Luffy. Nami threw a loose piece of wood at Zorro and caused the man to drop Sanji on the ground.
"You wanna die too?" He asked in a raspy sickly voice. He still had his dagger in his hand and took a threatening step towards Nami.
"USOPP HAMMER!" Usopp had finally woken up and slammed Zorro and Sanji with his hammer.
"Keep it down! Some people are trying to sleep!" He yelled. Zorro shoved Usopp and stepped on Sanji's back. Nami hit the swordsman again and she and Zorro felt themselves being tripped.
"What are you all fighting over?" Luffy asked. His hands were wrapped around Nami's and Zorro's ankles and he slowly stood up from his passed-out nap. The ruckus had woken him again and he had more confusion than anger in his voice.
"You idiot, you forgot already?" Robin, Frankie, and Zorro yelled in unison. Robin caused a series of arms to hit Sanji. She wasn't going to easily forget being miserable like this. Frankie hit Zorro and Usopp and Nami attacked Frankie. Brooke slammed his bony fist into Robin's head, then Nami and Usopp, then Luffy and Sanji, and finally he separated Zorro from the group. Chaos was aboard his first pirate ship and fifty years, and it was over food poisoning! The skeleton couldn't help but laugh at how silly his young fellow crew mates were. Zorro wrestled away and grabbed Sanji again.
"That's it buddy, say goodbye!" He yelled as he kicked Sanji like a soccer ball overboard.
"NAAAAAAAAAMIIIIIIIIIII!" Sanji cried. Zorro had kicked him far and high. The chef, who was busy declaring his love for the navigator, barely braced himself for impact. Instead, he felt Luffy's arm come across his waist and he hurdled towards the ship again.
"LUFFY!" Sanji screamed when he noticed his body go over the ship and extend over the ocean again. He was being swung like he was on a pendulum and finally he hit the side of the boat. That fricking algae-head missed the freakin' deck, the moron! Then, everything went black for Sanji.
"Serves him right." Zorro grumbled while hugging the side of the ship. The other sick crew mates were doing the same, all filled with dark anger except the cheerful Luffy who barely noticed he was sick too. The captain lifted Sanji up onto the ship and laughed. The man was out cold.
So, for the next four days, the crew hugged the side of the ship while Nami and Usopp grudgingly took over their duties. Chopper had his work cut out for him this week, with a passed out chef, four sick members of the straw hat crew, and keeping watch on Zorro so he didn't chuck their only chef overboard again while he was down. Brooke crossed his arms. It was comical to him that so many people were terrified of them. If only those people could see the crew now. He'd pay to see their reactions at the real strawhats.
Meanwhile, Sanji rolled over on his bed.
"I'm gonna get revenge. I don't know how yet, but I won't forgive that algae-head for saying that I, the great chef Sanji, food poisoned them!"