Total Drama, What is real? Episode 1… Prologue.
"Hey Dudes, this is another Season of Total Drama, and I'm your new Host, Kevin Rawlings!"
Kevin is a tall, lean guy with spiked Blonde hair, dull green eyes, and pale skin, dressed in a Dark blue Muscle Shirt, tight black Jeans with a white belt and bronze buckle, and gold Converse High-Tops. He's grinning ear to ear.
"Chris would be here but he's currently facing 15 years in prison for breaking over a dozen environmental protection laws. I know I'm supposed to say that I feel sorry for him but I don't. Jackass is finally getting what he deserves! I had to work with him during 2 movies… think he's bad hosting this show? TRY HAVING HIM ON A FILM SET!" Kevin screams in rage.
He quickly composes himself, and smiles. "But enough about that has-been. You may know me from my time in "EX-calibre" or as Mike Truth on "Restrained Progression", or more recently for my Album "Blue Rain", but enough about me… on with the show!" Kevin exclaims.
"As you can see… WE'RE BACK ON THE TOTAL DRAMA AFTERMATH STUDIO!" Kevin yells as the camera pans out across the entire studio.
"But before we start the new season, we have many new competitors, and they have to be introduced… ROLL THE AUDITION TAPES!" Kevin yells as a giant wide screen comes out of the ceiling.
"And now we have our first Audition tape… Damian!" Kevin exclaims, smiling.
1. Damian
Gender: Male
Age: 17
Height: 6'0
Weight: 190 pounds
Family: Heather (eldest sister), Melody (younger sister), Mom, and Dad.
Label: The Hellraiser
(Static)
A kind of tall kid with almond-shaped black eyes, spiked jet-black hair in an orange t-shirt and jeans appears on camera.
"Hey Guys, I'm Damian... why should I be on Total Drama? Well, I'm the Captain of the track squad, the lacrosse team, and the hockey team. And..." Damian grins deviously, "… my older sister is Heather. Yeah, THAT Heather! I wanna show you guys something..."
Damian takes the camera off its tripod, and walks over to the bathroom, where Heather is drying off her long hair, which is now neon pink and says, "Hey Sis!"
Heather glares at him as she says, "What do you want you creep?"
"Oh I just wanna show you something..." He hands her a hand mirror, she gasps and her eyes widen in horror as she sees her hair. While laughing, he adds, "Yeah that stuff won't come out for months!"
"DAMIAN!" Heather Shrieks in rage.
Running down the stairs away from infuriated Heather while laughing maniacally, he turns the camera back to his face as he's running, "If you guys wanna see more of that, you'll put me on the show!"
"DAMIAN, WHEN I CATCH UP TO YOU, YOU'RE A DEAD MAN!" Heather shrieks off camera.
Damian continues laughing manically and running.
(Static)
"Ok, so we have Heather's little bro tormenting her… great stuff! I hate that bitch!" Kevin says before adding, "Next up… is another sibling of Heather…and she's even better! Melody Everyone!"
2. Melody
Gender: Female
Age: 16
Height: 5'10
Weight: 120 pounds
Family: Dad, Mom Heather (Eldest sister), Damian (Older Brother), unnamed youngest sister, unnamed Cousin
Label: The Mirror Image
(Static)
"Camera on big sis?" The camera nods that it is.
"Great!" A girl with Almond-shaped blue eyes, with short jet-black hair in a bob cut, with a pair of violet sunglasses on her forehead, with a purple-strapped tube top with a golden ring in the center holding it together is speaking.
"Hi guys, my name is Melody, I am the younger sister of someone you guys might be familiar with... Heather, the queen bee."
Melody walks a ways out, revealing she's also wearing blue jean daisy dukes, and brown shoes with purple straps.
"Just like my sister, I'm determined, cunning, and have a devious mind, Melody says with a smile before adding, "But unlike her, I'm smarter, prettier, and more athletic!"
"HEY!" Heather yells off camera.
Melody expression turns serious, and she points to the camera as she says, "And I'm going to do the one thing you couldn't Heather, WIN! Watch out Total Drama, cause Melody's coming to town!"
Heather leaves the camera on the mantle as she gets in Melody's face, "What did you just say?"
Melody gets right in Heather's face, and says, "I'm going to WIN!"
They growl in each other's faces and then get in a slap fight.
(Static)
"Once again, Heather does not get along with her siblings… what a surprise" Kevin says, rolling his eyes. "Next up is another sibling of a classic contestant, Greg!"
3. Greg
Age: 16
Height: 5'10
Weight: 140 pounds
Family: Mom, Gwen (Older sister)
Label: The Prankster
(Static)
A kid with round, black eyes, with a round face, wearing a blue ball cap with white lining covering brown hair in a mullet, a green t-shirt with a skull in the center, and blue jeans, is playing at his turntables.
"Oh, camera's on? Awesome! Anyways, I'm Greg, as you can see, I'm an absolute master with turntables... mixers, synthesizers, if it has anything to do with being a DJ, I'm all over it yo!"
"ARRRRAGHHH!" Greg cups his hand to his ear to hear the scream, and nods while smiling in satisfaction.
"If you're wondering where that scream came from, it came from my sister's boyfriend Duncan, you may know him, he's a class-A jerk, and he just fell into my trap."
Greg turns the camera around to find a Duncan who's covered in feathers and glue standing in the doorway.
"Hey Duncan, how does feel to look like a chicken? Ha-ha-ah..."
"YOU LITTLE MOTHER**ER! AFTER I'M DONE WITH YOU YOU'LL WISH YOU NEVER HAD BEEN BORN!" Duncan runs towards the camera, with murder in his eyes.
"Oh Crap! Gotta go, see ya later homies!"
(Static)
"HA-HA-HA-HA-AH… I hate Duncan, and this is just too rich, I think I'm going to like this kid!" Kevin says grinning before adding, "Next up is a contestant that shockingly isn't related to a previous one… Rob!"
4. Rob
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Height: 5'10
Weight: 170 pounds
Family: Mother, Father
Label: The Sharpshooter
(Static)
A white skinned male of average height and build with both a beard and mustache of five o' clock shadow is on one knee on patch of grass with nothing but grass behind him. He is wearing an army cameo vest with a bright red shirt underneath it, grey pants, and a tan cowboy hat. His attention is focused on a M40 hunting rifle with scope beside him. As he starts placing bullets in the M40's chamber and while still focusing on the gun, he talks to the camera.
"Greetings Total Drama. I'm Rob. I would be a great asset to your show because despite only being eighteen, I'm already a highly regarded sniper in the American military. I could explain my credentials but actions speak louder than words…with a bang."
On 'a bang', the Sharpshooter had placed the last bullet in the sniper rifle's chamber. For the first time, the teenager in the army cameo vest and red shirt underneath it looks at the camera. For the first time his bright yellow eyes and his dog tag necklace are visible to it. Rob then moves the camera slightly so a target many paces away can be seen on the side. With a smirk, he says calmly but confidently, "Observe."
The Sharpshooter then focuses once again on the sniper rifle and gets it ready. Now showing the black glove and watch on his right hand, Rob fired six shots in succession.
After firing, the camera is picked up by Rob and shakily records one of his sides as he runs several meters to the target. Once there, the camera regains focus and shows one hole, at the very center of the target. Rob had hit the bull's-eye very center six times without any flaw indicating any deviation of any bullet however slight!
Looking at this with a look of justifiable pride, Rob turns his attention to the camera.
"I don't think I need to say anymore aside from the fact that I would be a great additional to Total Drama and…" The teenage Sharpshooter began before his cell-phone started ringing, "Uh, one second."
After looking at the caller ID, he developed a brief expression of woe before answering.
"Hi, Dad. I'm at the shooting range doing my audition tape for Total Drama. Da...Dad. Dad, listen, we've been over this before. I'm not a crazed gun fanatic; I'm a military sniper. Well the difference being that one is a job and the other's mental sickness! Yes Dad! You can be into guns and not be a psycho. Why do you think the shooting range has a rule that you can't shoot while someone is looking at the targets? Do you think that…?"
BLAM!
Rob stopped mid-sentence as a target not too far away from his current position was fired upon. Not sure how to process this, it took a second shot knocking off his grey cowboy hat to get Rob running away as fast as he could while still holding the camera.
(Static)
"This dude is Killer! The ratings are going to spike! YES!" Kevin exclaims with excitement. "Next up is a tattoo artist, interesting… anyway here's Francisco everyone!"
5. Francisco
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Height: 6'3
Weight: 275 pounds
Family: Mother, Father, Older Sister (23), Younger Sister (17), Younger Sister (10)
Label: The Tattoo Artist
(Static)
As some smoke passes by the cameras lens it shows a somewhat seedy tattoo parlor. At first the eyes is drawn to a man in his forties who bald, burly, brawny, and very tall. But his exact height is unknowable because he is allying on a bench his stomach. He is getting a tattoo and the camera focuses in on the person giving the tattoo, who's 18.
The eighteen year old is pretty tall too while also possessing very tan skin with several tattoos of different sizes and styles and a very muscular build. He has messy black hair and dark brown eyes. Though the mountainous older man blocks the camera's view, it is still noticeable that the muscular teenager is wearing white tank top shirt and blue shorts.
The teenager is so focused on the tattoo he's making that it takes the person filming him to remind him he's on camera for him to address the camera while still working on it.
"Hola! Francisco here. I think I'd be a good contestant for Total Drama because I would approach it as I do every tattoo I make, with effort, care, and all of my heart and soul. While the money would be useful to help my family's tattoo parlor, I'd like to compete for another reason. I'd like to show the world that people of Hispanic heritage are not all cruel manipulators like Alejandro who hurt people and…"
"EEEEIIIIGHH!"
The mountainous man is on his stomach screaming in agony, as Francisco got distracted and not only messed up the man's tattoo but also damaged his skin. As the man stands and stares daggers at him, Francisco looks at the camera in the way a deer looks into a car's headlights.
(Static)
"Ha-ha… not the way to make a good impression my man" Kevin says in between laughs. "Maybe you'll change that in the competition… anyways… onward with… BRITNEY?!" Kevin exclaims in shock.
6. Britney
Age: 17
Height: 6'2
Weight: 175 pounds
Family: Dad, Mom, Kevin Clark (Aka Kevin Rawlings)
Label: The Songstress
(Static)
A tall girl with long, flowing blue hair, with round green eyes, and violet lips dressed in a pink tank top, tight white shorts, and short lime-green heel-boots is sitting on a large, comfy looking red couch in what looks like a studio. She's warmly smiling at the camera.
"Hi Total Drama, and all you Brit-Brit fans out there! I am obviously Britney Clark; you may recognize me as one of the best teen songstresses of all-time, in fact..." She pulls out a framed platinum album as she smiles smugly, "…my latest album, "My Time" just went platinum b***es!
"DOES MY MUSIC SUCK NOW?!" Britney shouts, clearly addressing a deep concern. Realizing this, she attempts to act like it never happened as she resumed her audition tape, "Ahem! Anyways, when I get on Total Drama, I can guarantee you guys insane ratings that you've never had before, just because I'm just that awesome!"
"No you aren't, YOU FUCKING SUCK BRITNEY! AND YOU'RE MUSIC'S EVEN WORSE!" Someone yells off camera.
She growls, and pulls a bat out from under the couch, and smiles evilly as she says, "Excuse me for a minute" before walking off camera.
"DO YOU WANNA SAY THAT AGAIN?!" Brit screams off-camera.
"AHHHHHHHH!" Someone screams as a nasty "whack!" can be heard, followed by a dull thud.
She walks back to the couch, bat still in hand as she pulls out her smartphone, and dials somebody. "Hello, David? Yeah, it's me again... another moron managed to sneak through security AGAIN! I wouldn't have to keep doing this if you actually hired some competent security! No, these morons who know nothing about me deserve everything they get! YOU ARE MY AGENT, DO YOU'RE FUCKING JOB DAVID!"
She hangs up her phone and looks up awkwardly at the camera. "Sorry you guys had to hear and see all that sorry... remember, I equal ratings heh-heh...sigh..."
After sighing, she face palms herself.
(Static)
"WHAT THE FUCK?! Why is my little sister on this show?! Is this someone's idea of a sick joke?! I DID NOT SIGN UP TO TORMENT MY SISTER ON INTERNATIONAL TV! WHERE IS MY CONTRACT!? WHERE'S THAT F**KING CONTRACT!?" Kevin says in a rage far more intense than any we have seen from the new host so far.
An intern nervously hands him his contract then scurries off in fear. He reads it again… "Apparently I did… and it's in the Motherfucking fine print! FUCK FUCK FUCK! I should know better… I've been in this business long enough to know what can be in the fine print! GODDAMNIT!" Kevin yells, hitting himself in the head in frustration.
"We're going to cut to commercial as I have a "friendly chat" with the producer… CUT TO COMMERCIAL NOW!" Kevin screams in rage.
1 Commercial break later…
Kevin can be seen holding the business suit clad producer by the cuff of his shirt, Kevin beating him yelling "I had no fucking clue my sister was going to be on this show! I'm the host! YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME YOU MOTHERFUCKING SNAKE!"
"Uh Kev, commercial's over man." One of the stagehands says off-screen.
Kevin looks at the camera shocked and then drops the producer with a look of distain on his face. The producer crawls away, his face bloodied and bruised, groaning "I can taste my organs…"
"Sorry about that heh-heh… SHIT… anyways onto…" Kevin looks down the list, "…Nise!"
(Static)
7. Nise
Age: 16
Gender: Female
Height: 5'5
Weight: 105 Pounds
Label: The Quantum Physicist to Be.
A small Japanese girl with short black hair, yellow horn-rimmed glasses covering small round onyx eyes, wearing a sky-blue t-shirt and black pants with a white lab overcoat appears on camera.
"Oh! You startled me... Hello everyone! My name is Nise. For my audition, I'm going to do something amazing and world-changing... I'm going to make a much more efficient lithium-ion battery!"
She smiles as she pours in a semi-solid white and silver colored Lithium-Magnesium mixture into a metal casing... it starts to smoke... her eyes widen in fear.
"Oh Crap! It's not supposed to do that! RUN!" Nise shouts as she grabs the camera and tries to run away, only for a bright yellow flash and an earth-shattering "BOOM!" to envelop the area! The camcorder cuts out.
The feed reappears; the camcorder is sitting on the floor on its side. Nise right in front of it, her lenses cracked, her hair singeing, and her clothes in tatters. She coughs, "Oh... my head... that's not the way it was supposed to work..."
(Static)
"Ouch… I hope she's okay… I'm She'll be fine everyone!" Kevin says unsure before changing the subject by saying, "Enough of that. We are moving right along onto… Chris apparently, roll it!"
8. Chris
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Height: 5'7
Weight: 170 Pounds
Label: The Enigma
(Static)
It's a bright sunny day with some large and grey object in the background out of focus. However what is in focus is the back of a figure in a hooded black overcoat, a black fedora hat, and a long black cape that reached the grass covered ground. Still not facing the camera, the figure with nothing visible but a back of black cloth speaks.
"They say that there's a need to seize the day. And yet they say that life's a game after they take the board away. They give you a costume and outline to improvise in futility. Total Drama…allow me to show you the character of this totally dramatic persona."
With that, the caped figure turned around in a rapid motion and threw its arms into the air as it said loudly, "Voila!"
Now facing the camera, the figure's front was now visible to it, but little more was revealed. Most of the front was just as covered and coal-colored as the back by black rubber pants and the front of the overcoat. But what enticed the eyes the most was the face, or what should have been a face. Instead it was the smiling "Comedy" mask of classic theater. Though the expression on its face was unknowable, one could imagine a smile as wide as the face-covering one on the mask as the figure addressed the camera.
"Though I have many sides to my person, for convenience sake, I'll answer to Chris. And while I may just look like some weirdo wearing a bitchin' mask, there's a lot more to me. Your broadcasting of adolescent anguish will allow me to show that greatly. They don't see that. They call me crazy! But would a crazy person fire himself out a giant cannon because he thinks a little girl is the queen of the Moon people? Yes, yes he would!"
With that, the camera zoomed out and revealed that the large grey object behind Chris was in fact a giant cannon! The camera sees that there's a comically long fuse which Chris than attempts to light while struggling to get a lighter to maintain a flame. As Chris continually clicks the lighter to get it to work correctly, he talks to the camera once more.
"So, before I'm blasted into the sky on a few megaton fart of explosives and gunpowder, I can assure you that I'd be great for bringing in the ratings! Just like I'm about to bring the falling cheese after I reach the moon. Cheese! For everyone! Delicious yummy cheese!"
He finally gets the lighter to keep a flame for long enough for him to light the cannon's fuse. Struggling to keep back a laughter churning within him, Chris addresses the camera.
"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to penetrate the womb of God with my rubber pants! Pah-pa-rah…CHEESE! Ha, ha, ha!"
(Static)
Kevin's eyes are wide in alarm, "Okay… that dude's batsshit crazy, and kinda scary…WHY IS HE WEARING A MASK?!" He asked before admitting, "Even though, I kind of like him."
Reeling from the shock of realizing that, Kevin composes again, "Ahem… onto the next one… Mathieu… please be normal…"
9. Mathieu:
Age: 17
Gender: Male
Height: 5'4
Weight: 140 Pounds
Family: Mother, Father, Michael (Younger brother, 10), Lindsay (Younger Sister, 10), Buster (Younger brother, 7)
Label: The Magician
(Static)
The camera shows a fairly short white male with short dirty blonde hair. He is wearing a white-buttoned shirt with a black jacket over it. Looking down, one sees blue jeans and red shoes. But the most eye-catching feature is a black cape extending to his ankles that is kept together by a golden diamond shaped holder on his chest with a bright and shining ruby center.
"Greetings to the non-magical mortals in charge of Total Drama! I am Mathieu, illusionist extraordinary…in training. For your viewing pleasure, and to persuade you that I am more than worthy of competing on your show, allow me to show you a feat of magic started in ancient times as far back as when…"
"Come on Matt! Please just do the trick already!" A voice coming from someone many years younger than Mathieu interrupted in clear annoyance.
"Illusion, Michael. A trick is something a whore…woman with low self-esteem does for money…or candy. Now then, on to the illusion!"
As Mathieu starts to get ready, a song starts to play in the background. It's the song 'The Final Countdown', created in 1986 by the Swedish band 'Europe'. The illusion begins.
"You see, Total Drama, I, can be many things. There's no limit to what's up my sleeves. If need be, I could take up…" Mathieu before pulling a wooden club out of his sleeve, "…the club to strike my way to victory!
"Or I could take up…" The wooden club splits and reveals a bouquet of fake flowers, "… the flower to use peace and friendship to earn the ample bounty of cash you offer.
"While I do fancy the flower over the club, I promise you that no matter which path I chose, I will endure while everyone else…" There's a flame as a hidden lighter under his sleeve ignites the flowers into a flaming display, "…burns away!"
After looking at the burn of the bouquet in pride, Mathieu returns his focus to the camera with the most confident and boastful face he could muster.
"So let me be on Total Drama and I'll give you a magic show the likes of you could never…"
"Matt!" Michael, Mathieu's younger brother, said as he interrupted in alarm.
"Not now Michael, I'm about to make the final push. I'll give you a…" Mathieu said, ignoring the panic in his younger brother's voice. He wouldn't ignore what came next.
"But Matt! Your sleeve is on fire!"
"Wha…AHHH!" Mathieu said as he realized that his sleeve was in fact on fire and spreading over his shirt. He started screaming and running frantically around the room.
(Static)
"HA-HA-AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-AH…" Kevin says, getting up off the ground where he was laughing, and wipes the tears from his eyes. "That guy's gonna be great for the ratings! He SO makes up for Brit, Nise, and… (Kevin shudders) Chris. Plus he's hilarious! Lovin' it!
"Any who, though they have a tough act to follow, the Next Newbies are Mary and Joseph!"
10. Mary and 11. Joseph
Ages: 16 (Joseph) and 17 (Mary)
Genders: Male and Female
Height: 6'1 (Joseph) and 5'9 (Mary)
Weight: 165 pounds (Joseph), and 115 pounds
Family: Mother, father, Deceased older brother named Abel (Joseph), and Deceased Mother, Father, twin younger sisters Sarah and Sasha.
Label: The Religious Wackos
(Static)
"Hello everyone, my Name is Joseph!" Says a tall, thin, but still muscular Arabic boy with dark brown hair in a mullet, dark brown eyes, wearing a sky-blue T-shirt with a gold crucifix in the centre; and Khakis with brown sandals.
"And I am Mary!" Says a shorter, but still tall (for a girl), Arabic girl with long, flowing black hair with a white headband in it, with almond-shaped green eyes, and brown lips, wearing a red tube top, white jeans, and red sneakers, with gold crucifix necklace around her neck.
"We are Coptic Christians!" They both say in unison. "In our home country of Egypt, we were heavily prosecuted against by the Muslim Majority... my older brother Abel was killed for his faith." Joseph says with sadness in his voice. Mary begins to tear up "And I lost my mother" She says, doing all she can to keep herself from crying. "After that, our families fled to Canada, I was 11" Joseph says. "I was 12" says Mary.
"Despite everything, even though we're in such a great and free land such as Canada, Christians are still prosecuted against" Joseph says angrily, his fists clenched. Mary pats him on the shoulder to calm him, than she says, smiling warmly "That's why I'd like to use our winnings to start our own Church, where every Christian in this beautiful country will always be welcomed and loved".
"If we get on Total Drama, we will bring you something you have never seen before... true faith in what you believe in" Joseph says, with a determined smile on his face. "And with the lord on our side, there's no way we can lose!" Two younger girls who look like younger clones of Mary climb on her lap. "And these are my younger Twin Sisters, Sarah and Sasha" Mary says, smiling very warmly.
"If you win, will we be able to see mother again?" Sarah asks. Mary begins to cry. "Excuse me, could you turn off the camera father?" The camcorder goes to black as Joseph is trying to comfort Mary.
(Static)
"Okay, that is some sad shit right there, but "Sniff"… so inspiring! I'm rooting for you guys!" Kevin says with tears in his eyes before adding, "Though I must stress that most Muslims are not such murderous A-holes!"
"Next up is… Giavanna!"
12. Giavanna
Age: 18
Gender: Female
Height: 6'9
Weight: 235 pounds
Family: Dad, Mom, Elijah (Little Brother)
Label: The Tall Bombshell
(Static)
At first just a green tank top and large breasts are seen while a sweet sounding female voice is heard saying, "Come on you stupid damn camcorder, just go a little higher..." This is followed by the sound of a creak…followed by the sound of a loud snapping! After the snapping we see a girl's face, round with entrancing emerald eyes, long fire red hair, full red lips, and gold hoop earrings.
"Well it looks like I broke the tripod. Anyways, Hi Total Drama! I'm Giavanna. And I'm obviously really, really tall... like 6 foot 9 tall." She says with a noticeable sigh.
Her face then brightens with a smile as she to talk to the camera showing her face, "But that is not my only defining trait... I am also an award-winning amateur poet..." She turns the camera around so the cam sees all her Poetry awards and medals. After lingering on them for a second or two, the camera returns to her face.
"... I'm the Star player on my School's Basketball team, Captain of the track team, and hold the all-time records for hurdles and high jump." The camera first pans downwards for a sec to reveal that she's wearing navy-blue yoga pants with pockets, and pink and white track shoes before panning upward to reveal her MANY sports related trophies, medals, and awards.
Once again returning to her, Giavanna grins with pride as she adds, "Plus, I've already gotten applications from Yale, Princeton, Boston College, Queen's University, McGill University, and the University of Montreal!"
"I've been a HUGE Total Drama fan since it first debuted. I love Cody, Gwen, Dawn, and especially NOAH, EEEEEEE!" Gia suddenly squealed in fangirldom before happily exclaiming, "He's just so cute, smart, and funny... I just wanna hug him like the adorable little smartass teddy bear he is!"
"Hey sis..." Someone says off-camera. Suddenly she catches a basketball with one hand and starts smirking as the person off-camera says, "Wanna play some B-Ball, one on one?"
"You know I almost always beat you right?" Gia replies.
"But when I do, the look on your face is priceless!"
"Alright, I just have to finish this up, then I'll come down" Gia replies before returning her attention to the camera in her other hand, "That was my little brother Elijah, he's very competitive... see ya guys, I have to kick my brother's butt again"
Gia puts down the camcorder as she spins the basketball on her finger before turns it off.
(Static)
"WOW… tall, red hot, strong AND smart… it will be a pleasure to meet her, and I'd have no problems with her hugging me…" Kevin says, with a pervy look on his face. He only then sees the camera, "AHEM! Anyway… next contestant is… yet another freak show, sigh… Nanon."
13. Nanon
Age: 17
Gender: Female
Height: 4'9
Weight: 110 Pounds
Family: Mother, Father, Twin sister
Label: The One Armed Girl
(Static)
The camera shows a teenage girl standing next to a pole whose top is far out of sight. The girl is pretty short, not even five feet tall. She is very lean and in excellent physical shape. Her hair is a long, black, and tied into a long ponytail. Her skin is a very dark tan and her facial features are similar to those of people of Mediterranean descent. Her legs are extremely muscular and yet very smooth.
She is wearing a light bluish-green all body spandex bodysuit that leaves her legs and left arm totally exposed. On her left wrist is a silver bracelet with gold star symbol. Around her neck is a rabbit's foot on a small chain.
But none of these are the features that attract attention the most. That honor belongs to the fact that she has no right arm, not even a little stump of a limb!
"Hi. My name is Nanon." The girl began in a cheerful manner before her voice became noticeably less upbeat and even a tad annoyed, "Let me answer your first question. Yes, I have no right arm. I haven't had one since birth."
But the initial cheerful tone in her voice returned as she continued her audition tape, "But now let me answer your next question. I should be on Total Drama because I am, despite what some would call a handicap, extremely capable. Allow me to demonstrate."
The camera then moves away from the girl and focuses on the top of the pole, there's a golden medal attached to it by a thick blue thread. The camera returns to the short girl.
"As you can see, there is a medal on the top of that pole. It is ten feet off of the ground, a little more than double my height. One second."
With that, Nanon pushed herself off the ground and leapt into the air so fast that the camera barely catches it! After about five seconds, she comes crashing down back to the same exact spot she was when the audition tape started. She is wearing the golden medal around her neck and shown a face that indicates that the feat just shown speaks for itself.
(Static)
"First Chris… and now this chick?! Where are you finding these people?! Are we searching mental asylums and circuses for contestants now?! Kevin loudly asks the camera incredulously before adding, "Anyway… the next contestant is Jay"
14. Jay
Age: 18
Height: 5'11
Weight: 145 Pounds
Family: Mom, Dad, Younger Sister
Label: The Puppetmaster
(Static)
A guy with dark brown hair arranged in a Mohawk and dark brown eyes who is dressed in a army green T-shirt, a grey vest, black jeans, and tan colored high tops appears on screen, sitting on his bed.
"Camera on... great. Hey dudes, names' Jay... What are my best traits? There are so many" Jay says, smiling arrogantly. "Well, I'm an aspiring singer-songwriter, and I've been a MASSIVE TD fanboy since forever My favorite contestants of All-time are Alejandro and Scott... they're AWESOME and so much more relatable than most of those losers... they're my heroes!
"Like them, I'm a master at reading body language, charismatic when I want to be, and will do ANYTHING to win, and trust me, I will WIN! Why? Because my family deserves a better life than they have now, especially Mom..."
He holds up a picture of his mom, and hugs it and starts tearing up a little as he says, "Mom, I'm so gonna win this for you..." before he suddenly changes his tune but not so much that the previous one feels insincere as he says, "But I'm so much more than a lame-ass momma's boy, trust me... as long as I'm around, Total Drama will NEVER be boring!"
As he stares into the camera smiling evilly he says, "Jay, signing off."
(Static)
"OOOHHH… this dude looks like trouble… but trouble equals ratings!" Kevin says before adding, "Next up is…Ari!"
15. Ari
Age: 18
Gender: ?
Height: 5'6
Weight: 130 Pounds
Family: Mother, Father,
Label: The Ninja
(Static)
There is total darkness without any coloring of any kind and not definable outlines. When all of a sudden, directly in front of the camera, two bright electric blue eyes appear!
Then a light goes on, revealing a person who aside from their electric blue eyes, a small black space in between those eyes that indicates black skin, and a slightly shorter height has features unknowable because they are wearing the stereotypical all-black ninja outfit.
With the figure not saying a word, the camera moves to reveal a long hallway with four vases with a Japanese design to them. The Ninja then walks into the edge of the camera.
Keeping their chosen code of silence, the Ninja pulls out some shuriken, metal throwing stars. After looking at the vases, they are unleashed at the vase on the left, destroying it!
Then, the silent figure dressed like the shadows pulled out a Kusarigama, a sickle and chain. Once the sickle was being spun on the chain, the Ninja charged the vases. After what appeared to be several strikes at thin air, the Kusarigama was withdrawn. Nothing happened for a few seconds. However the vase on the right suddenly shattered into dozens of tiny pieces!
The instant after the right vase was smashed rings of fire developed around remaining two vases. It is also noticed that there are two trails of gunpowder leading to the Ninja.
Coming closer to the camera, the Ninja displayed a written message that said:
'The last two vases are filled with gunpowder. I will be lighting the trails of gunpowder before charging them. I will strike each vase with one of my feet. My timing must be precise. If I strike them a second too early, the results will be unimpressive. If I strike them a second too late, I'll be directly exposed to a life-threatening explosion. But, if I hit the vase so it starts to break the second that the flame from the gunpowder trail reaches it, it will create an impressive explosion increased by the flaming rings while also providing enough push for me to jump backwards away from the force of the explosion.'
Once the message was removed from sight, the Ninja lit the two trails of gunpowder at the same time with a lighter in each hand before spiriting towards the vases! Almost near them, the Ninja leapt into the air and forced a foot onto each surface of Japanese design!
KAABOOOOOOMM!
The two remaining vases exploded in an impressive sight as the two flaming loops created a large fireball out of the exposed gunpowder! But the Ninja was nowhere to be seen…
Until it handed right in front of the camera…completely unharmed!
With the fiery glow of the destroyed vases behind it, the Ninja just looks at the camera.
(Static)
Kevin smiles impressed as he says, "Ok, now that was EPIC! I can't tell if Ari is a guy or a girl though, got any info on who this is?" A stagehand shakes his head "no".
"REALLY?! So we have a silent mystery Ninja contestant… that is gonna really spike the ratings… AWESOMENESS DUDES!" Kevin exclaims grinning before switching over to the next contestant to be revealed, "Next is Solita!"
16. Solita
Age: 17
Gender: Female
Height: 5'2
Weight: 105 pounds
Family: Unknown
Label: The Orphan
(Static)
A shorter aboriginal girl with short black hair, round onyx eyes, dressed in a purple and violet striped sweater, torn acid-washed jeans with a faded brown belt with a slightly tarnished brass belt buckle, and black and white striped sneakers appears on screen.
"Hi Guys... I'm Solita" She says, smiling nervously, "I may not look it right now... but I can be a fierce competitor, I'm determined, and very strong willed."
"I'm much stronger than I look, so watch out! I'll be there to knock out as many people as possible on the way to the finish! In fact I'LL BRING YOU GUYS THE MOST DRAMA EVER SEEN ON THIS SHOW!" She exclaims with excitement.
She smiles, nodding her head in thought, "That actually sounded pretty damn good."
(Static)
"The most Drama?" Kevin asks curiously. "Well, you have some pretty high standards to beat, I wish you luck my teenage friend devoid of parents. Now then, we have a movie buff in the house! Wonder if he likes any of my movies… here's Carlyle everyone!"
17. Carlyle
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Height: 6'0
Weight: 260 Pounds
Family: Mother, Father, Younger brother
Label: The Cinefile
(Static)
The camera reveals a teenage boy who's on the taller and fatter side sitting at a desk. Both his skin and eyes under glasses are black. His hair, both on his head and on his face is brown. The hair on his head is starting to slightly thin on his head leaving the impression of the starting of baldness. While his facial hair is both a thick but short beard that fully covers his chin line and two lengths of hair from his beard that form an almost mustache but each end stops under his nose. There is a very small gold earring on his right ear. As far as clothes, he's wearing a brown jacket, a yellow t-shirt that is visible underneath the jacket, blue jeans, and most oddly of all a sloppy dark red tie that's not fully tied.
Before speaking to the camera, which seems to be a webcam, we see an expression of confidence and natural ease, almost as if he's been speaking into a camera for years.
"Hello. I'm Carlyle Coleman. I love and remember movies, even the ones no one else does! As my video reviews and podcasts for the website 'Knocked Over ' will show, I have a borderline archival knowledge of movies. Movies of pretty much every genre, language, style and time period, from the 1915 ground-breaking but horribly racist "The Birth of a Nation" to the recent genre shattering greatness of "The Dark Knight"."
Taking a moment's pause, with an expression of awe over his face, Carlyle continues.
"Anyway, I should be on Total Drama because I would be able to bring in the ratings of a fair portion of the 46,000 registered members of 'Knocked Over '. Also know that I'm not the cliché cinema snob or a critic of nostalgia. And I know better than to give into greed. After all, just like "The Treasure of the Sierra Madre" shows us, greed only leads to one final fate…" After taking a two second pause for dramatic effect, Carlyle explained what this final fate was, "…being killed behind a conveniently placed donkey obscuring your death to the camera by some awesome but slightly stereotypical Mexican bandits!"
Despite the lusciousness of that that statement, Carlyle looks into the camera with an expression indicating that he believes it to be very wise words indeed!
(Static)
"Aww… he didn't mention any of my movies, oh well" Kevin says with a shrug and a smile before saying, "And now we come to our last new contestant… Seems we got a poet on our hands... Erebus everybody!"
18. : Erebus
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Height: 6'2
Weight: 280 Pounds
Family: Mother, Father
Label: The Machiavellian Poet
(Static)
A camera reveals a room with the décor of the home of a nineteenth century aristocrat. There are two figures right in front of its field of vision. The first is a medieval suit of armor and under most circumstances that would be the one to attract the most attention. But this wasn't most circumstances so that honor belonged to the second figure.
The second is a tall teenage male whose appearance is as beautiful as it is bizarre. Firstly there were the features of his face. Though most striking of these were his bright amber eyes, the other features like his white skin and his smooth, finely combed chestnut hair were just as impressive. Most of the bizarre with the beauty came from his clothes. His broad and muscular upper body was covered by a long black coat with a white starched collar, a grey waistcoat, and cravat with a pattern of purple and orange stripes. The lower half of his body displayed black trousers with the chain of a gold chain watch coming from the trousers' right pocket and black shoes. But the oddest features of his dress were a long opera cape with an outer layer pure black and the inner layer bright red and a cane with a handle craved with detail into the head of a raven with small rubies for the eyes.
Whatever other minor details of body or dress were shown was quickly overwhelmed by a face and muscular build that was on par with, if not greater than, Justin and Alejandro. He had the overall demeanor of a refined English gentleman, and this notion was reinforced when he began speaking with an English accent that could be sexy or scary depending on what effect was desired.
"Hello Total Drama, vile programming based on the pain of teenagers and lack of trust. For your contemptible viewing pleasure, I present myself, with the name of Erebus!
"I've watched your show and been appalled by Chris, an idiot full of hollow thunder signifying nothing but vanity and hair gel. With the later being a better companion when it ignites in the fires of Hell.
"The same sentiment extends to Chef, a disgruntled laborer and deprived lackey who cannot cook. His efforts in the kitchen have all the success of a worm impaled on a hook.
"You must be asking, 'Why is he auditioning if his opinion of us is so abysmally low?' That's because your competition offers a chance like few others for my intellect to glow.
"You also might fancy me as a poetry writing pansy so you think I'm soiling myself in fear-filled apprehension? To that silly notion, I fart in your general direction!"
After that, the teenager speaking in rhyme paused for the first time and grabbed his cane's raven head shaped handle. Pulling on it revealed that the majority of the cane's length concealed a sword! With the blade glistening, Erebus began his final words.
"My bodily form and rapier wit may ooze sophistication and the highest standards of class. But I will not hesitate for one second to break my cane off in a motherfucker's ass!"
With that and a single swift moment of the blade while not taking his amber eyes off of the camera, the head of the medieval suit of armor was removed from the shoulders of similar steel and rolled off-screen with a loud clang. Erebus continued to simply stare into the camera; clearly feeling his final point was made without words.
(Static)
"Holy SHIT and what a poet we ended up with... I really like this... THE RATINGS ARE GONNA EXPLODE THIS YEAR!" Kevin says with crazed excitement dripping from his voice.
The widescreen goes up into the ceiling again as Kevin announces, "These 18 brand new contestants will be facing off against the best and brightest Total Drama has to offer, the newbies will be playing with and against…
"Harold… understandable." Kevin says.
"Jo… they're gonna be in trouble there." Kevin says chuckling.
"Cody, the popular choice."
"Oh god… Anne Maria… I hate that b***h too, and she's gonna be hitting on me the whole time, I know it!" Kevin groans.
"Leshawna… I always did like her." Kevin says smiling warmly.
"STACI?! FUCK!" Kevin yells angry.
"Noah…awesome."
"Dawn… gotta love the moonchild… you'd have to be heartless not to" Kevin says.
"Izzy… great… now I have to deal her, Chris AND Nanon... why can't we have NORMAL people?" Kevin asks increduously.
"Owen, the fartmachine… haven't they got tired of him yet?" Kevin asks confused.
"Justin, eh he brings in the ratings, I guess." Kevin says, shrugging.
"Katie… WONDERFULL… if Sadie's on here I swear…SADIE?! FUCK, FUCK, MOTHERFUCKER! I hope one of them gets eliminated early. I don't know how much of their squealing I can possibly take!" Kevin says, shaking his head.
"DJ… I hope he's over that whining phase." Kevin observes.
"Alejandro… I hate this dude… gives Spaniards everywhere a bad name…" Kevin says with distain.
"Duncan… seriously?! Chris may have liked him, but I don't! Why do we keep on giving this Douche the spotlight?!" Kevin exclaims angrily.
"And…SCOTT?! YOU BROUGHT BACK THE WHITE TRASH REDNECK?! This is Bullshit!" Kevin screams angrily.
He composes himself again to say, "Don't worry if your favourite original contestant wasn't listed. There is FAR MORE to this season than any of you could know! Be assured that just about every contestant who's ever been on Total Drama will get there shot at the prize.
"But for now, that's the starting roster… 34 contestants… 2 million dollars on the line… who will win? Find out this season on Total, Drama, What is real?" Kevin exclaims as the title is lit up on the wall behind him.
"I'm your host Kevin Rawlings everyone… goodnight!"
This is made in partnership with my friends Rufus T. Serenity and CRGGL.
Total Drama and all its characters are property of Jennifer Pertsch, Tom McGillis, Fresh TV, Teletoon, and Cartoon Network.
Kevin Rawlings, Jay, Damian, and Greg belong to me, Giavanna, Erebus, Carlyle, Nanon and Mathieu belong to Rufus, and finally everyone else and the basic story belong to CRGGL.
Please read, review, and spread the word!