So I've been toying with the idea of writing a series of one shots that take place throughout the Hunger Games series. I have been fascinated with the "minor" characters that made up this series and this is my way of giving them a voice. So here goes, I'm going to start off with Prim and depending on whether or not I get any reviews or responses I will continue to publish different points of view! So let me know what you think!
I Do Not Own Any Of These Characters, Nor Do I Own The General Plot
Girl On Fire
I stand by the window watching my sister pace her way across the street. She is restless. I don't blame her, she has never been one for coping instead preferring to run. Not like my mother of course, she has always been careful to run only far enough away so that she could return to my side at the nearest sign of need. That is until she volunteered for the Hunger Games. I know she did it to protect me and to ensure that I was alive to see the next reaping, however when she got on that train there was no coming back, there was no protecting me from what I was about to experience. I didn't know it then but I relied on her so heavily, always assuming she would be there to take care of me and lessen every blow that came my way. Nothing could have prepared me for watching her on the television, watching her struggle and suffer and then of course succeed. I have never been so scared, wondering what would happen to my mother and I if she should fail, I knew Gale would always take care of us, but I don't think my mother could handle losing another loved one, she barely pulled through the last loss, and she only pulled through that because of my sisters unwavering determination to pull her through it, I don't have that sort of strength. I could never fight as hard as she did and continues to do.
The sister who returned from those games is not the same sister I said goodbye to. She tries to hide it, but I know that she is haunted by demons I can't even imagine. Her screams at night cause me to lay awake hoping and wishing that some sweet mercy would take hold and deliver my sister to safety, allow her some safe refuge from her own mind. I know this will never happen, because I know what it is to see death, once he visits you or someone near you, he never truly forgets you, making it impossible to forget him. I have seen the lives of countless men, women and children fade away as I hold their hand and slowly comfort them into peace. Death and I are old friends, often greeting one another as he takes the hand of the poor soul I have comforted and leads them on to where ever it is that they go, for I am certain that something must happen, something great, in order to make all this suffering worth it.
Just then I am met with the questioning gaze of my sister, she has finally noticed me sitting here staring at her. I wave half heartedly and get up to go meet her outside.
"Hey little duck, is everything alright?" she asks as her eyes scan me for any possible signs of harm.
"Yeah I was just marvelling at how beautiful the victor's village looks with all this snow, and thinking about taking some food down to the seam to hand out, maybe take Lady with me since she loves visiting the kids."
"She's a goat Prim, she does not know the difference between her paddock and the president's mansion" she sighs, clearly exasperated with my innocence. I can't be honest and tell her that I worry about her or try to care for her because the only thing holding her together is her need to protect me and my mother from the world. She does not know that I have pieced together the trouble she caused with her trick at the end of the games, I may be young but even I know that the capitol will not tolerate being mocked for long.
Deciding to ignore her jab at my beloved pet I decide to change the topic, "You know, you could just go talk to him" I mumble as I nod my head in the direction of our new neighbours house.
"I have no idea what you're talking about Prim, I don't want to talk to him or anybody else for that matter. I am fine on my own, in fact I'm better off on my own." She snaps at me, I watch as she transforms in front of my eyes, her posture becomes tense and her eyes become cold and void of emotion.
Deciding to push my luck I press on, "then what are you doing out here, wearing your tracks a good 6 inches into the ground? You're not alone Katniss, you are surrounded by people who love you and want to help you, all you have to do is let us."
"Maybe I don't deserve their love" She mumbles quietly as she turns away from me. Before I can say anything else, she swings back around trying to hide the sorrow wracking her body "I've got to go, I promised Haymitch I'd wake him up before the Hob closes for the night" and without waiting for a reply she turns back around and hastens away.
I stare after my beloved sister picturing the girl she used to be, the one who sang and danced and picked wildflowers in the forest with our father. Who then became the young women who kept a family alive by hunting and gathering, and gaining a sense of accomplishment from that. She may have tried to appear tough and strong but she was surrounded by those who loved her, and who she loved in return, in her own way.
"One day she'll realize we're all here waiting for her to come to her senses and she'll accept our love and in return love us back" a voice whispers behind me. I gasp and spin around quickly to find Peeta standing there with a tray of cheese buns in his arms. "I was just on my way over to your house to drop these off and I couldn't help but overhear".
"Do you really believe she'll get better?" I ask clinging to his words a little more then I should.
"I don't know, do you? You know her much better than I do" is his neutral response. I then realize that he is only trying to appease me, make me feel better. Like everyone else he has assumed that I am too naive to understand or accept the reality that I live in. Suddenly I am desperate for someone to understand, for someone to see that I am no longer this little naive girl who doesn't understand the world and needs to be protected from it.
"No I don't, I mean my mother never did. She has never accepted what she has or ever been able to truly pull herself out of the fog that she has existed in ever since my father died." I wince a little bit at the brutal honesty of my words, I could never say these things to my mother or Katniss. "The similarities between the two of them never cease to amaze me. They are both so brave, strong and compassionate, and yet they hinder this with their own need to dwell in what has happened in the past." My eyes widen as realization hits with what I've just done. That is the only time I have ever spoken poorly of eith my mother or Katniss. I instantly want to take it back, shove that thinking back down inside where it belongs.
I look up and meet Peeta's gaze about to beg him to forget everything I have just said, but I stop when I see his face, his expression holds surprise, but just below that I see something else, something I've never seen before, could it be respect?
"I have to be honest with you Prim, I have always known that you inherited certain traits from your family. Your fathers kindness and love for life, your mother's healing hands and strength and of course your sister's compassion and beauty but I have never given you credit for the piece that resides within your soul that is all your own, your faith. Your ability to look at anyone and see the good in them even after all the bad you've experienced. Your ability to love and the passion you hold for those you love." Peeta stops to make sure I am listening to what he is saying and making sure I am registering the truth behind his words. "Don't let anyone destroy that, don't let this world convince you that your faith is invalid or misdirected because if you lose faith in us, in our species, then there really is no hope. I truly believe that your sister will get better, she has a fire within her that will never stop burning until her last breathe; she is girl on fire after all." I shudder at his words, I hate that phrase that the capitol has attached to my sister. There is nothing pleasant about being on fire nor anything admirable about a person engulfed in flames, they may be feared and unchallenged but they do not feel anything but the flames engulfing them.
With that he hands me the buns and starts back towards his house. I stand there and watch him go feeling the heat from the buns seep into my hands. That was the first time me and Peeta had really had a conversation that required any amount of intimacy. I was amazed at how much he had observed about me in order to make those claims about my character, I didn't know if all or any of it was true, but it was a nice thought. Never once did he call me innocent or naive, which in itself is a small miracle.
I decide to take the buns home and then walk down to the seam to hand out some of Lady's cheese and some cans of stew that arrived with the last shipment. As I'm walking along I continually drift back to what Peeta said about Katniss, about how she would get better because of the fire that burns deep within her soul. I realize that he is right, Katniss does have plenty of fire within her, a tenacity that is unmatched in any other human being. However, what he does not realize is that that will not be the reason she gets better. Her fire will only fuel her anger and sorrow, it will eat away at her until she is completely consumed by it. It will be because Peeta's refreshing gentleness, it is exactly what she needs to help control that fire. This is when I realize that my beautiful sister has found her soul mate, even if she doesn't know it yet. One day she will realize that it is Peeta who she can't survive without, and when that day happens I know that my sister will truly be all right. On that day she will no longer be Katniss, girl on fire.
And there you have it! My first Hunger Games Fanfic! Please let me know what you thought, and if you think it's worthwhile continuing. Also constructive feedback is more than welcome! If you have any characters you would like to see a perspective from please let me know and I will do my best to write it!