A/N: Hello everyone! So basically, this fic is about Ariadne's angst because Arthur has left her and basically, she's one big hot damn mess. This one's based on a song by Lissie (my Muse) called "In Sleep" and it's a really excellent song and you all should just go listen to it. Right now. While you read this fic. Also, I own nothing. Like really. I own nothing (I'm a student I really own nothing).
Her dreams are never the same.
"Ariadne," he calls out to her. She turns to see Arthur sitting at the table, drinking his coffee. She smiles.
"What are you still doing here? I thought you'd left."
"I'd never leave without saying goodbye first. You know that," he smirks.
They always end the same though.
They always end with a shot and a scream and Ariadne waking up, knowing he's not there and followed by a long period of crying and ice cream eating. She's a mess without him, she knows this. But there's nothing she can do about it anymore. Ariadne knew, the moment they met, that Arthur was going to be trouble, but she just couldn't stay away.
It's not you, Ariadne. It's me and I'm sorry.
Those were the last words she heard from him and they were from a message on her phone. She always wants to strangle someone when she thinks about that phone. That phone that she broke when she threw it against the wall. There was a lot of crying that night. Now that she thinks about it, there was probably more screaming than crying.
Ariadne hasn't seen him in 5 years. Five years, 2 months, 8 days, 4 hours, 9 minutes and 1 second. She's been counting.
No visits, no phone calls, nothing. And that's why she hates him. But she loves him. There isn't a day that goes by that Ariadne doesn't wonder if today is the day that Arthur will come back, but she knows he's not coming. He's never coming back. The week after he left, Ariadne sat at by the door, not eating, barely sleeping but wholly convinced that Arthur was to return. And when he didn't come back after that week, she broke down.
She spends the majority of her time sleeping because that's the only place she can see Arthur these days. And when she's not sleeping, Ariadne is trying to sleep or crying. She hates being awake- she hates living life without him. Every time she wakes up, Ariadne reluctantly tips her totem over, only to find what she already knows- this is real and Arthur isn't here.
Ariadne should be dead. If it weren't for Eames, she would be dead. Every week, Eames comes by her apartment, to make sure she's still alive. He comes by and helps Ariadne do her laundry and cook her a week's worth of meals. Each time he comes, Ariadne seems to be doing worse. She can tell he's getting fed up with it, but still, Eames comes by every week without fail.
"Hello, love. Still moping?" he asks with a sigh when Ariadne opens the door. She glares at him.
"You know, I do recall a time when you actually smiled," Eames smirks. Another glare.
"Well, each to his, or her in your case, own," Eames sighs as he takes the basket of laundry from Ariadne's hands. He does her laundry and cooks her meals as usual, and just as he is about to leave, Ariadne stops him.
"Why are you here Eames?" she asks.
"What are you talking about? I'm here every week."
"No, I know. But. Why do you come? I can do my laundry myself you know."
"Darling, you know that's not true. Remember that one week I didn't come and your apartment was a complete mess! I had to straighten everything up. Felt like a fucking maid that time."
"Ok, ok fine. But you're obviously not here for your own merriment. So why are you here?"
"You're my friend, Ariadne. I'm not going to let you rot away in your apartment."
"You're usually so good at that," Ariadne sighs, placing her hands on her hips.
"What?"
"The lying thing. You're usually really good at it. I mean, what am I to expect, it's your fucking job, but," she looks up at him, "you can't lie to me Eames. Really. Why are you here?"
No response.
"Eames. Why are you here?" Ariadne asks slowly, her eyes narrowing.
"Eames, you know I have a gun right? And you know I know how to use that gun?" Ariadne threatens when he still doesn't respond.
"Yeah, and it was a fucking mistake to trust you with one," Eames mutters. Ariadne pulls the gun from the cabinet by her door and aims it at him.
"HolyfuckAriadnedon'tfuckingshootmeplease!" Eames shouts.
"Tell me why you're here," she grits, aggravated.
"Ok ok. Fine. Arthur's been telling me to check up on you," he explains as Ariadne lowers the gun.
"You know he still cares about you." She grinds her teeth together.
"If he cared, he wouldn't have left," she spits.
"He didn't have a choice you know. You're safer without him," Eames sighs as he leaves her apartment.
"But I'm empty without him," Ariadne whispers, palming her forehead.
She sleeps for what seems to be an eternity. When she wakes up, she realizes that it is dark outside and she laughs at how messed up her sleep schedule is. Languidly, Ariadne rolls over in bed and checks her alarm clock. 3 AM. She decides to sleep again, praying this time she can stay asleep forever.
"Ariadne?" a voice calls out.
"Arthur!" she chirps airily as she runs toward the Point Man with outstretched arms.
"I missed you," he mutters into her hair. She chokes out something incoherently, her face buried in his chest and her arms wrapped so tightly around Arthur's body, afraid if she lets go, he'll disappear.
She can feel herself waking up.
Ariadne looks up at him. Everything is fading fast.
"No…" she whispers, "You can't. Don't leave me."
Ariadne shoots up in bed, her legs twitching, kicking the covers.
"Fuck!" she shouts, slamming a hand on the mattress. Ariadne no longer cares that the walls of her apartment are thin and that her neighbors can hear her cursing at 8 in the morning. She's too frustrated, too dead to care about anything.
Ariadne sits in bed, sniffling and ripping up perfectly good sheets of paper angrily. She reaches for her nightstand, grabbing another sheet and is about to tear it to shreds until she realizes there is something written on it. Something of importance.
She looks at the paper and realizes it is a list of phone numbers. Eames', Cobb's, Yusuf's, Saito's- even Arthur's (before he disconnected the line). Ariadne looks through them and then stops when she glances over Yusuf's number. Yusuf. Drugs, Ariadne realizes, almost jumping out of bed. She grabs her phone and dials the number. After two rings he picks up.
"Yusuf. It's Ariadne," she says quickly before Yusuf has a chance to even ask.
"Ariadne! Feeling better now, are we?" he asks. Apparently everyone, even Yusuf, knew about her little "condition."
"Er. Yeah. Uhm listen, Yusuf. I need a sedative."
Silence.
"Oh? What for?" he asks cautiously.
"I've got a job. We need a sedative," she lies.
"Well…" Yusuf mutters slowly.
"Please, Yusuf?" Ariadne begs. She knows Yusuf is a submissive man.
"Oh, alright. You want me to send it to you, or…?"
"I'll pick it up myself," Ariadne chirrups with a devilish grin.
The minute Ariadne returns to her apartment from her trip to Mombasa, she yanks the spare PASIV from the closet. She settles on the couch as she inserts the needle into her skin.
Ariadne finds herself in her apartment- but not her apartment. It's what she wished her apartment looked like- clean and straightened up with art decorating the walls and more importantly, with him in her bed.
"I need to get to work…" he groans, rolling slowly out of bed.
"Come back for lunch? I'll be here all day- studying," she laughs. In her dreams, she's still a student. Arthur returns to the bedroom, clad in that gorgeous three piece suit and a crooked smile on his face as he straightens his tie.
"Don't I always?" he mutters, giving Ariadne a quick peck on the lips before he waltzes out the door. Ariadne pads to the front door and then to the kitchen and back to the bedroom, making sure Arthur really is gone. She grabs her totem- the weight is wrong, everything about it wrong. But this is a good thing. At least she knows now that she's dreaming, and with the help of a PASIV and drugs too.
Clutching her totem, Ariadne walks back to the cabinet by the front door and pulls out the gun she knows is hidden there. Slowly, she raises it to her head and squeezes her eyes shut as she fires one single shot to her head, the gun ringing clearly in her ears as she drops to the ground.
When she wakes again, she doesn't know if she's in Limbo or back in reality. Her apartment looks the same as it does in reality and her totem is the right weight and size and shape and everything. And she realizes her plan has failed. Ariadne curses under her breath, lost in thought of how lovely it would have been to be stuck in Limbo where she could create a new world for herself- a world where Arthur was still with her. And then her train of thought is disturbed by loud pounding on the door.
Angrily, Ariadne marches to the door and flings it open.
"What?" she barks and then realizes that it's him. Really, truly Arthur standing at her door.
"Yusuf called. He told me you bought a sedative from him, thought you were going to try to force yourself into Limbo. Caught the first flight over," Arthur explains. And all she can do is hug him, hold him tight and never let go.
Ariadne sets the bishop down on a table in the hallway and tips it over gently; she has to be sure this is real.
But then, he kisses her. He kisses her and tells her he'll never leave her again. And then none of it matters. Ariadne no longer cares that she spent 5 years of her life rotting away. She's too engulfed in him to notice anything else- to notice that the bishop stands half tipped over on the table, suspended impossibly in the air.