New story, hope you enjoy!
Thanks to dolphin62598 for beta-ing!
And to MoDunk for prereading and just being herself.
And Jillian Landers for looking it over today.
"Change me," I asked breathlessly. Our arms and legs still wrapped around one another. If not for his icy touch, I would most certainly be covered in a thin sheen of sweat.
"Bella."
"Change me," I repeated, practically begging. My fingers ran their way through his usually polished side swept hair, looking insanely hot with the crazy sex hair.
"Do we have to do this today? It's your birthday," he groaned, already exasperated with this conversation. He hated that I was bringing it up so frequently while I hated how he always disregarded my request.
"Exactly it's my birthday; we need to talk about this." I pushed out of his embrace, needing distance, needing to stand my ground. He never hesitated to use his superhuman charms to disarm and sway me when necessary.
"Your birth is something to be celebrated, not tarnished with an argument over something as silly as ending your life."
"Silly? This is anything but silly; this is us." I grabbed his hand, trying to show him our differences. Warm and cold. Soft and solid. Alive and undead.
"We are perfect as we are."
"For now."
"Forever." He brought our entwined hands to his mouth, peppering kisses from my wrist to my elbow. So much for resisting his distractions.
"And when I'm sixty? Seventy?" I needed to keep us on topic; it was my birthday after all.
"We have been over this; I do not care what you look like, what we look like to others. My love will never end."
"And when I die, you follow." His plan was so ingrained in my mind; I had heard it too many times to count.
"That's the plan," he whispered coolly.
I pulled back, irritated with is his blasé attitude about this. "See the thing is, your plan sucks."
Staying calm was quickly flying out the window; my breaths were becoming frantic for no reason. We've had this exact talk a million times. "I want you for ten lifetimes not just this one. If you don't, then what are we doing?"
"I'm not willing to turn you into a monster." He repeated, his reason never changing, just as he never changed. I went on with complete disregard for his previous statement; he was no monster. We had argued this too many times.
"Edward for years you've seen what I wanted, I've shown you in every way possible." My tears formed and fell as my heart caught up with my thoughts- love, life, meaning, slipping away.
"We've gone over this, I will not destroy your soul, I will not be the reason you take your last breath." He was clearly taken aback by my reaction; even from across our room he could hear my increased heart rate and rapid breathing. In seconds, he was at my side again trying to take my clothes from my hands. He hated when I ran from him but I didn't want him to see inside my head, not now.
"And I will not waste another four years trying to change your mind. I will not waste anymore of my time." His shocked expression was one he didn't wear often but matched my own. Neither one of us expected those words to tumble out of my mouth; and there was no taking it back. I could no longer settle for what he gave me. I have loved this man since I was seventeen but I was not not seventeen anymore. Gone was the naïve girl who thought time would change things. He either wanted me forever or not at all. I was done with pretending that this wasn't an issue anymore, I could no longer settle for what he gave me.
"Waste your time?" I nodded, racing around our bedroom trying to find my underwear. I needed air and space. "You don't know what you're asking me."
"I'm only asking for forever… with you. If you don't want it, want me, then we're done."
"We're done?" He repeated, almost flabbergasted.
I couldn't help the onslaught of memories flashing through my head. I was an emotional wreck; my mind was so weak in this moment and knew that he was seeing them too. I remembered the first time he kissed me and the last just seconds ago,
"It's not the last," he vowed.
"Get out of my head," I just about screamed as flashes of his hands running up and down my back, as he thrust in and out me just minutes ago. I would never feel his hands on me again.
"Enough!" he shouted. Roughly grabbing my arms, trying to keep me still, trying to stop my inner musings. He failed.
Flash after flash of him professing his love for me; my tears fell freely at that thought of never hearing it again. I couldn't look at him, couldn't see the pain my words, spoken and unspoken, inflicted. I was holding on by a thread, his beautiful face upset would be my unraveling.
Without a word, I was down the stairs with six sets of eyes on me. Their superhuman hearing allowed them to be privy to my early threat and now they wonder if I would, if I could follow through. I ran into my best friend's arms, neither of us caring about the tears soaking her shirt.
"Alice, you promised me," I cried.
"Bella, don't go."
I looked into her big, heartbroken eyes, if she could shed tears she would have been. I wouldn't just be leaving the man I love but my family too. Fresh tears fell at the thought of never seeing her or any one of them again.
"Then change me." It was a last ditch effort, knowing Edward would never allow it but knowing that she would was all I needed.
"Absolutely not!" he yelled as he blurred down the stairs, charging between us.
"Edward, you know these things are set, the future is the future. Your ridiculous stubbornness won't change anything," Alice pleaded.
"Jasper!" Edward screamed unnecessarily, everyone in the room could have heard him whisper loud and clear.
"I'm trying."
I could feel the waves of calm and love bombarding me but I didn't want it. I needed to feel the brokenness I was inflicting on myself.
"Don't Jasper, please," I sobbed. The waves stopped and the self-inflicted heartache was back. I was leaving my home, my love, my family, but what other choice did I have?
"I gave up everything for you, everyone for you and still you gave me nothing in return."
Tears continued to blur my vision but I was too stubborn to back down. I turned towards the door grabbing my car keys.
"Bella, I love you," his words were sincere. I felt the love and would have given anything to stay with him forever; just not his version of forever, it wasn't enough.
"I know, just not enough." I placed my hand on the doorknob, slowly opening as the cool, early fall air hit my face. I ran as fast as my legs would take me, tears streaming down my face. "I love you all, good bye," I whispered, driving away from my home and heart.
Love. Life. Meaning. Over.
Love it? Hate it? I can't wait to hear what you think!
1st chapter will be up in a few days, give me some motivation to edit and post!
Twitter- Manderbetis