Summer vacation started! I'll start updating my current fanfics and hopefully publish some new stories soon. :)
10:59 PM
They started again. I don't exactly know how long it has been but it feels like forever since it last happened. It's the same as usual. Screams fill the hallway and colorful words attack the opponent. A cry escapes my mother's mouth and it terrifies me because I've never heard a human make a noise like that. For a child, hearing their mother and father arguing is something he or she cannot bear to listen.
Most of the time the parents discuss private matters in the dining room table thinking their child is soundly sleeping upstairs. Mine does too, but not this time. They argue in my room with me watching them attack each other with words that pierce the heart and make it bleed. And I can do is lie on my bed and watch them. Silently. Hopelessly.
I tried really hard to stop them. I really did. But in the end my words were futile and the madness didn't stop. The gentleness of my voice is no longer with me. They ignore my words and treat me as if I don't exist. My tears aren't enough to stop them, and then I suddenly thought of something. What if I didn't exist? I started to wonder. Wonder why I had to endure the pain of listening to the never-ending crescendo. It felt wrong. And it felt really wrong when I found myself with my fingers wrapped around my neck, pressing it hard to squeeze all the little bones present in my neck. It hurt. It hurt a lot.
There were times when I thought of committing suicide, but I wasn't brave enough to actually do it. This is my first time. My own little hands are choking me to death, and I started coughing and could feel my saliva slide out of my mouth. But I didn't stop. Instead I released some of the pressure of my hands so I could live. I didn't want to die. I couldn't make myself end my own life with my two hands. I felt as though there's something I need to do in the world. Something only I can do. No, there's another reason too. I loosened my grip because I wanted my wish to come true. I remember watching several television dramas where the child attempts suicide, but the parents stop him or her at the last minute and they all weep together saying everything's going to be alright. I wanted the same thing to happen to me. I wanted my parents to stop what they were doing and come help me, but they didn't. It's funny how my parents ignored me when I tried to end my life right in front of them. Television dramas or called "drama" for a reason. I understand that, but for once I wish it could've happened in real life.
I couldn't take it anymore. I ran to the bathroom and began coughing out saliva. I was scared. I was scared how I could think of such ugly things. When I looked at my reflection on the mirror, the first thing I noticed was my eyes, and I was scared because I couldn't recognize myself. My eyes are dull and red from crying; my hair is messy and sticking out in random direction. I look so terrifyingly ugly.
All the broken noise seemed to end when I entered my room again. It was silent. And the only thing that greeted me is my stuffed rabbit sitting right beside my pillow. The crying didn't stop as I reached for the animal and hugged it tightly, squeezing it as I rolled around my bed, trying to find a comforting pose. There was nothing I could do to stop the tears. It was 10:59 PM when I turned to look at the clock, and when I blinked and opened my eyes again, the numbers formed a new time. It seemed to be telling me something. Telling me to move on.
It's a story with Mayu! Whenever I look at a picture of Mayu, I keep thinking of her yandere side. I wanted to try writing something like this with Mayu as the main character, but I don't think I did well with it. I don't know why but I feel like writing this kind of stuff doesn't fit me.
Will you care to review? See you next time! :)