Hey guys I know its been like forever since I've posted something funny, but don't worry this story will be one of my greatest humor pieces. Unfortunately this will be the last installment in the Box series, but it will be epic. And if it isn't epic enough for you let me know and I'll try to turn the epicenes up a notch.
Warning: This story may be too awesome to handle. One may consult doctor to see if they can handle the high levels of epicenes
I don't own it, and if I did YJ would be on every day.
Three weeks had passed since the second box incident. A lot had happened, including Batman's new anti prank rule and the addition of Batgirl to the team. If you were to walk in the cave at this very moment you would feel the icy air from the glares the boys and girls were giving each other. Even Conner and Kaldur were involved in the fiasco. Batgirl, of course sided with the girls.
It was the great cold war of the sexes. It was clear by the atmosphere of the cave that there was an uprising in the near future.
When Ollie and Barry walked into the cave to check on their protégés they came face to face with a staring contest/arm wrestle between Wally and Artemis. It was a deadlock between the two. Both heroes walked past the newest display of hostilities between the divided team(s). It wasn't worth it any more in their opinion. Instead they went to see how Red Tornado was holding up. (Poor guy had been dealing with these shenanigans for almost a month) Behind them they heard a cry of pain come from Wally and an angry shriek from Artemis.
"Thus begins the end…" GA murmured.
"Here comes WWIII…" Barry agreed.
The two men went back into the kitchen to see that Wally and Artemis had each other in a death grip. Ollie felt as if he was going to loose a limb when he and Barry separated the two 'foes'. Both heroes having to drag their charges back to their respective cities.
Later that week both groups congregated in the cave's kitchen. It was the first time in weeks that the whole team was able to sit at the same table without trying to kill each other. Of course the only reason they were civil towards each other was for the purpose of laying out the terms for their final battle that would determine who was superior, but that was beside the point. The leaders (Robin and Artemis) sat across from each other. Roy and Wally were next to the boy wonder while Conner and Kaldur stood behind him. Zee and Batgirl sat next to Arty with M'gann and Rocket behind her. Both sides laid out their terms and after a while with great difficulty they both ultimately came to a consensus and the agreement was forged on paper that declared the beginning of the greatest box fort war known to mankind.
Artemis thought it was fitting that since this began with a box that it would end with a box. (Or boxes) She signed the paper and her devious mind went to work.
Robin grinned mischievously as he scribbled his John Hancock across the page. Even though his mentor had clearly stated that this so-called prank war would be no more, this impending showdown was created by the ultimate loophole. What the dark knight failed to realize (maybe he wasn't getting enough sleep) after the last major incident (The Apartment of Vengeance) that this small crusade had evolved into something beyond a few overly done pranks and acts of retaliation. I was now all out war.
Before the ink was even able to dry on the paper the teens were off.
0o00o
Somewhere else on the planet…
Batman looked up from his work as a weird sensation tingled through his core. He felt…a disturbance…
0o0o0o
M'gann, Rocket, and Zatanna all loaded into the bioship and headed out to the nearest recycling center while Babs and Artemis drove to the local Wal-Mart with Ollie's credit card at their disposal.
Team A (the recycling bunch) was currently in the process of collecting as much cardboard as possible while Team B (the Gotham girls) were toting three carts full of supplies. Batgirl went to go get the car while Artemis waited in the checkout line. The archer tried her best not to laugh at the look on the poor cashier's face when he started to scan her items.
"What are you looking at?" She surprisingly said with a straight face, trying the best to utilize her aviator sunglasses and make herself as intimidating as possible. The employee looked startled and turned red before mumbling something that sounded like 'nothing' and got back to work.
The guys also set out in search of supplies. Robin had already taken care of most of it for a phone call, so after they got a few palates of cardboard they went back to the cave to play HALO 4.
The team had agreed on a date for their battle due to the fact that if they did it when most of the league was available they would be stopped. While the girl's hid their stuff in another dimension thanks to Zee, the guys hid all of their supplies in some storage cubicle in the middle of nowhere that robin made sure dear ol' Batsy was in the dark about.
While they all waited for the next league meeting both teams worked on their plans. They were so paranoid and secretive you'd think they'd all been raised by Bats. The guys put their plan down in encrypted files written in a code not even the Question could crack. While the girls had it all in their heads thanks to their telepath.
A few weeks later at the leagues staff meeting…
"I think Roy should be given temporarily den mother duties during our annual roster meeting next week." Batman announced much to the league's shock/horror.
"Say what?" Hal broke the silence. Everyone was stunned at the dark knight's statement. Roy was not known for being even remotely responsible.
"Are you ok Bats?" Flash asked, he was concerned about Batman's state of mind.
"THAT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FREAKING MIND!" Ollie shouted. Canary nodded in agreement.
"I second that statement." Said Superman.
"I third it!" shouted Hal.
"Me too!" yelled Flash, for he did not want to world to go to hell while they discussed who they would add to their ranks.
"Who else would you suggest to watch the teens then?" Batman asked.
"…" The league was silent; they had no clue who else to replace Roy.
"Fine." Ollie finally said. "But don't say I didn't warn you!" He would be surprised if the mountain was still standing by the time the meeting was over.
Meanwhile in the batcave…
"Perfect!" Robin cackled, he was watching the security camera footage from the watchtower.
"Wally tell the others operation battle of the sexes is a go!" Robin radioed his best friend.
0o0o0o0o0o0
As Artemis heard the news she called her troops, they had work to do. M'gann and Rocket levitated their boxes while the others carried the rest of their supplies as they walked to their half of the spare hangar where they were supposed to build their box fort.
"They are so going down." Artemis smirked.
"Oh no, I know that look. What are you thinking?" Zatanna said, the last time Artemis had that look on her face they ended up in a bar fight in Tokyo.
"Evil things, very evil things…." Artemis cackled.
"Oooh, do tell." Babs smiled she was intrigued.
"Do I want to know?" Raquel asked M'gann who looked quite disturbed.
"I don't think you do." The martian shook her head.
"All will be revealed soon. Let's get to work!" The archer commanded.
Batgirl broke out the crate of duct tape and they got to work building their fortress while the boys on the other side of the sheet that divided the room could be heard devising their own structure.
"I can't wait to see the look on that harpy's face when we beat her!" Wally smiled deviously.
"Dude, we all can't wait to beat the girls." Roy said.
"Well I can't wait especially, I still have glitter in my hair!"
"Sucks to suck." Robin teased
"Why are we doing this?" Kaldur asked Conner.
"Honestly I don't know, sounds like fun?"
"Very well…" aqualad sighed.
One Week Later…
"Alright girl's lets get ready, today's the day we've all been waiting for. Lets grab our glitter, get into our uniforms and KICK SOME ASS!"
"YEAH!" They cheered at the archer's 'moving' speech.
"Smrofinu ruo otni su egnahc!" The magician commanded and light swirled around the girls, but instead of changing into their normal uniforms, they changed into various purple camo jumpsuits that fit their needs.
Each also had a backpack of supplies, a nerf gun or two and lots of glitter bombs (a device they had perfected to an art). They could hear the boys on the other side of the sheet, the battle was due to start at ten sharp after the league meeting had started so none of them could intervene with their fun. Today it would be decided who was superior. There would be no more pranks, no more traps, tricks or shenanigans. It was war.
It was about eight in the morning so the girls added the finishing touches to their fortress. It was a massive structure that was almost perfect in design thanks to batgirl hacking robin's design files. M'gann, Zatanna and Rocket were finishing painting the outside purple while Artemis and Batgirl readied their high tech weapon system. Unlike most box forts the inside of their fortress was fully equipped with a snack bar, a secure wireless connection, hi tech speakers, and of course various catapults, cannons and rocket launchers. (They meant business)
On the other side of the sheet…
"Wally do we really have to wear war paint?" Conner asked him; it was already a stretch for him to agree to wear their so-called uniform Robin devised.
"Absolutely!" the speedster answered. He was already decked out in war paint and his combat suit that he thought was absolutely necessary.
"Robin, how do I work this strange contraption?" Kaldur asked the acrobat pointing to the spud gun Roy had handed this earlier.
"All you do is put the potato down the barrel and press the trigger."
Kaldur did exactly as he was told but accidently fired the potato.
"Like this?" the atlantian asked not noticing that he had fired a potato at Roy who was filling up water balloons.
"Motherfucker! That fucking hurt!" The archer cursed. "Who is the son of a bitch that fired that!"
"I'm sorry my friend, I didn't mean to shoot you." Kaldur apologized.
"It works!" Wally proclaimed.
"Oh course it worked Kid Idiot! I made it!" Robin told his friend."
"Hey! Only Artemis can call me that, boy blunder." The speedster shouted.
Ignoring the insult Robin smirked. "Whatever you say, Romeo."
Being mature as he was, Wally decided to stick his tongue out as his friend.
"You're such and idiot Wally." Conner shook his head and went to go help Roy finish whatever he was doing to the outside of the fort.
15 minutes before 10:00…(on the girl's side)
"We need a name." M'gann pointed out.
"Ooh! Ooh! I know! We can call ourselves the S.B.F.F.S!" Batgirl said excitedly.
"The SBFFS?" Rocket asked.
"No we are not calling ourselves the super best friends forever, it's not mean enough." Their glorious leader disagreed.
"Then what else could we call ourselves?" Babs asked she was slightly disappointed.
"How about the Badass Bitches?" M'gann of all people suggested. For a second they all stared at the alien. "What?"
"You just cursed…" Zee pointed out something that they all thought was impossible.
"So…" The Martian found it strange that they were all shocked at this. "Just because I act all sweet doesn't mean I'm little miss innocent."
"True…" Batgirl agreed.
"So what do you think of the name?" M'gann asked.
"I like it!" The smirking archer declared and the Badass Bitches got to work with the last minute preparations.
On the boy side…
"Are we ready?" Wally asked, he was ready to shoot potatoes at that harpy.
"Totally." Roy grinned, he too would like to shoot Artemis with the various weapons they had available
"Remember guys, it is just a game…"Kaldur warned, he feared things would get out of hand.
"Whatever." Conner sighed; he really didn't want to do this.
"This is going to be so much fun…" Robin cackled as he checked his watch. Five minutes left…
Well I'm going to end it there, part two should be put up once I've edited it. Tell me what you think. Reviews motivate me, I really appreciate it. Especially when I've taken a big chunk of my time out of my day to write this for you guys, the least you can do is take 10 seconds of your time and tell me what you think. This chapter isn't anywhere near as funny as what is yet to come so stay tuned….
Also check out my wicked epic story Velocity
PS Review!