I am so sorry about this, but the plot bunnies. They made me do horrible things. If you don't like it, then don't read it. Plain as.
Summary: Merlin doesn't know anymore. As more time goes on, he realizes who he is and that he will never be free until he takes matters into his own hands. He finally realizes that it is time for this dragon to take flight.
[four shot] sucidal!Merlin Caring!Arthur.
rating T for sucidal and self destructive theme.
Who am I?
Merlin took the dagger that Arthur had given to him for defense and twirled it in his hands. Arthur would never know that his gift ws going to protect Merlin from himself. The dagger was covered in intricate designs and jewels. It tuwas othing compared to some of Arthurs other possesions but to Merlin, it was the most expensive item that Merlin owned.
As he sat on the top of the highest tower overlooking the courtyard, Merlin thought. He thought about how good it would feel to finally be free of his shackles that restrained hims to a life of lies and secrecy. He sat there for a long time, looking out over Camelot. he watched as others started to prepare for the on-coming winter. One winter Merlin would never come to see.
Merlin took the dagger and stedied it over the pale flesh covering his left arm. He sat still as he recalled all the words that he felt the magic he possessed described him as. With the blade in hand he started to carve the words into his unscarred flesh as soon as they came into his head. 'Evil', 'vile', 'monster', 'magic', 'freak' were the words he heard the most.
He stood up, dizzy from the loss of blood, and shuffled towards the edge. He stared down into the cold, dark abyss below him with wide, piercing blue eyes, unblinking. He turned around, dropping the hastily written note onto the floor infront of him. He breathed a heavy and relief filled last breath.
He thought about how finally this dragon got to take flight.
He pushed and he started to descend from the great height. Before he could hit the ground he could see a vague image of a blond man on his knees. Was he crying? Arthur.
The end came quickly for Merlin and the darkness shrouded him. He could finally be at peace.