A/N: For all of you who are reading Sharpest Lives, I'm really sorry for putting that on hiatus. But I have absolutely not motivation to work on it and I kinda got stuck. I know what I wanna do, it's just a matter of getting there. So here I am writing my first RoyEd story instead. Inspired by a hike with the Ed to my Roy along with a few other friends of mine, haha.

--

It started with a chair.

"It's not my damn fault!" Edward insisted, "You dodged!"

"And what was I supposed to do, sit there and get hit?" Roy asked.

"Of course!"

Riza sighed as she stared at the wreckage of what used to be her favorite chair. The floor had engulfed it and crushed it before returning back to normal, apparently swallowing a few pieces with it. Why Mustang had been in her chair, she had no idea, but she was getting both of them back for it. They'd never buy her a chair, she'd have to buy one herself. To get one that good would be so expensive that she'd have to work all next week...

Meaning she couldn't go with Roy.

"Colonel Mustang, sir," she said, turning and saluting her superior.

The two stopped fighting and turned to look at her.

Riza let her arm drop. "Due to this catastrophe, I can't accompany you on our camping trip next week. I'll have to work to get a new chair."

"Very well then, Lieutenant," Roy said, turning to face her more fully, "I guess I'll be camping on my own then."

"No, sir," she replied, "You can take Fullmetal with you."

Ed's jaw dropped. "No way!"

"Major Elric, I don't trust the Colonel out there on his own. And you owe me for that chair, the least you can do is spend a few days with him in the woods."

The blonde turned his head away and pouted. She had made a strong point, but there was no way he was going.

"Better start packing, Fullmetal, we leave the day after tomorrow," Roy said with a smirk, then pushing the blonde alchemist out of the room and shutting the door.

"What?! Colonel Bastard!" He banged on the door, but got no response after a few moments of this. He grunted in frustration, turning and marching away to his room.

--

"Brother, what happened?"

Edward kicked his bed with his automail leg to let out some frustration before sitting on it. He crossed his legs, propping his elbow on his knee and resting his chin in his hand as he stared at the suit of armor sitting across from him. "I broke Riza's chair and now I have to go camping with that bastard Mustang," he grumbled.

"Ooh, can I come?!" Alphonse asked, excited.

"It's bad enough I'm going, I don't want you to suffer, too," he explained, brushing his bangs back from his face before pulling his gloves off and throwing them on his nightstand. "Besides, I don't have a tent, and I doubt Colonel Bastard's tent is big enough for the three of us."

"Aw, but it sounds like so much fun!" Though his disappointment couldn't be expressed on his metal face, it was obvious in his voice.

"I'm sorry, Al," his brother said as he pulled his boots off. "How about we go camping ourselves next chance we get?"

"All right..." His disappointment hadn't completely faded, but it had diminished at the idea of going out camping with his brother.

Ed stood from his bed, then retrieved his suitcase from the closet. "What do I even pack? I haven't been camping since we were little, and it was only in the backyard then..."

"Ummm..." Al thought for a few moments. "... Clothes, I guess."

"No, I'm gonna wander around naked," the elder Elric said sarcastically, rolling his eyes as he started pulling out some clothes to pack.

"Maybe you'll need... Um..." The armor fell silent for a moment. "... Why don't you just ask the Colonel? He probably knows what you need to bring."

Edward scoffed. "You honestly think I'd go ask him for advice? I'll be talking to him enough while we're out in the woods with a tent and a mini bonfire singing 'Kum Ba Yah.'"

Al chuckled.

"What are you laughing at?!"

"I can't imagine you singing!"

He sighed and kicked the drawer he'd been going through closed, and shut his suitcase. A black pant leg was sticking out. "I'll be right back." He stood and went to the door, slipping out and then shutting it.

About ten minutes later, he knocked on the door to the Colonel's office. Loudly.

Riza opened it. She did a once over of Edward, from his socks with a hole that exposed his left big toe up to his hair, disheveled from digging through his clothing. "Yes, Fullmetal?"

"I came to see Mustang," he explained simply, walking past the First Lieutenant and to his superior's desk.

"Hm?" Roy asked, not turning away from the paperwork he was focused on.

"What the hell am I supposed to pack?"