Disclaimer: I don't own it.
Please review! I'm not too sure about this story and I want at least five reviews before I move on to another chapter. It's basically about Kyo in a mental hospital, unique, ne? You'll find out more as it goes on.
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Mentally Unstable: Prologue
Am I crazy?
They tell me that I am. They say I had an attack, a blackout, this horrific event that had sent my mind into its now supposedly unstable state.
But I'm a monster, how do they know that I did not have control over myself during that night? I have never told them anything about the incident, and to tell the truth I can remember all of it, every feeling, every scream, every smell. The way I sliced her up and then how I went after him. I am a monster after all.
They just called me insane since I kept on going on about the zodiac and that I was the monster. They said I was mentally abused as a child; it was the only thing they could come up with. It doesn't matter now; Akito has locked me up in this cell. I just know it. He is the head of the family and he had told me many times about what was to happen to me. Sadly, it happened sooner than later.
These pills they have me on… it makes it hard to tell what's there and what isn't. It's hard to move and it's hard to talk and concentrate. They make me go into this wonderful world.
Who are they to tell me that I am insane? Just because I live in my mind, just because I say things that they wouldn't say, I am labeled as a crazy. Am I? Crazy, I mean. I think my thinking is perfectly straight maybe everyone else thinks sideways.
It hurts to breathe at night; I'm in a cell… or at least something like a cell. The cell has soft walls to keep these monsters away from me. I want to laugh at this; the other crazies tell me that it helps keep all monsters out of their lives. But I am the monster. They are locking me up with a monster and they don't even know it! I laugh at this loudly at night as I curl into a little ball on the soft mattress. My laughs slowly turning into sobs that echo through the hallways, making the others whine or get hyper, it really depends on who's listening.
I want out of this place so bad. They have the cow taking care of me, when I call Haru that he just smile and nods. He thinks I'm crazy, I don't know why. He's part of the zodiac. He should understand what I'm saying. He says that when I get better I'll understand why they locked me away.
It angers me so much that he won't admit that I am the cat, the monster and that he is the cow. I hate how no one seems to understand what I am saying. In an instant I tackle the cow to the floor, anger rising as I punch and scratch at his stupid white hospital uniform.
My hands are around his throat and he's smiling and nodding to someone behind me, I look over my shoulder and see Hatori coming closer. I know what happens when Hatori is here, my fingers tighten around the neck, finger nails cut short so there is only an indent in the skin and no blood. I kept my eyes on the Dragon, he usually drugs me with something when I get out of control.
I don't understand. It never used to be like this. I've fought with Haru all my life. They know me like that, right? They don't, they say. They say that I am unwell. I don't believe them; this has to be a dream. How am I the only one who remembers our curse?
The quick pain of the needle in my neck makes me gasp, my eyes widening as I stare down at Haru, who was slowly pushing the fluid inside my vein. Almost immediately my hands loosened, body relaxing until the room blurred and I leaned forward. My head was so heavy and my body wouldn't respond to the messages I was giving it. I was giving into the darkness once more where the monster inside me cooed mockingly.
When I awake, I get to meet with the man who determines my mental state every week. I say absolutely nothing about my episode though he brings it up a few times, asking why I would attack a member of the staff. I talk about window cleaners; he doesn't seem interested in my thoughts. He's interested in my reasons.
I want to yell at him. I want to tell him that reasons do not matter. There is no point, what has done has been done, I can't take it back and I won't try to. He doesn't understand this logic; he believes there has to be a reason for what I do. I think that even if there were a reason it wouldn't matter because I'd still be stuck in my white cell. I want to tell this man that I am the cat of the zodiac and that is why I attacked Haru but it is still a family secret that I will keep to myself.
He writes something down in his notebook like he does every week, I know exactly what it says. He's putting me on a higher dose of meds because he think it might knock some sense with me and keep me from attacking others. I think I should just keep fighting, maybe when I'm all strung out on drugs I'll finally be what they want me to be.
It's hard being around all these people I know are part of the zodiac, or were part of it. I'm not sure anymore, it's so confusing. They all say that I am unwell and they don't understand what I'm taking about. I wonder what really happened on that day they said I supposedly killed my mother and put my father in a deep sleep. It had only been a dream and waking up here wasn't a pleasant surprise.
After all, my mother had been dead for a while, she had cut her wrists… I don't understand what happened. I don't understand why everything changed. I think the curse was lifted but why was the cat monster still in my head?
Maybe I had dreamt it all. Maybe I am crazy. But I don't want to give up just yet, I want it all back. Torhu, Shigure, Black-Haru, and even the stupid rat, Yuki. I just want someone to remember what was.
Am I crazy?