Title: Four Times Michael thought about Jan that way before "The Client" and one time Jan thought about Michael (and then feared profusely for her own sanity)
Author: Live2TiVo/ Musical Junkie/ Tally
Feedback: is like when Melora Hardin is actually seen on The Office… it makes my week.
Pairing: Michael/Jan… sort of
Word Count: 1,672 (without this chart at the top)
Rating: K+/PG
Genre: Romance/Humor
Summary: See title for summary
Notes: Based off a meme from Dollsome's LJ
Special Thanks: To dollsome for her kick-ass Five Things Meme
Spoilers: Not really, just up to "The Client", I suppose
Warnings: Don't drink the coffee.
Disclaimer: Don't own The Office, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Bewitched, or "The Golden Hits of Lesley Gore." Are you surprised?
1. When Michael was promoted to regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, corporate took him out for a celebratory dinner. Well, corporate was supposed to take him out for a celebratory dinner, but for some reason only Jan could make it. (There were some theories that Jan lost some kind of bet that made her the only one available, but no one in Scranton was ever actually able to prove it.)
They went to a small, upscale place outside of Scranton called Cenatio (which beat out Michael's choice of Hooter's). When Michael arrived and saw Jan sitting alone at a table for two, her felt his stomach fill with moths (which, according to Michael, are more manly than butterflies.) He had the absurd (although rational to him) thought that this dinner could be considered a date. His mind was racing as he tried to decide on the perfect opening line.
Unfortunately, Michael's idea of a perfect opening line was "Jan. Jan Brady. I'm glad my name isn't Marcia, or you'd be jealous of me. Marcia, Marcia, Marcia. Of course, if my name was Marcia, then I'd be a girl and that would be weird."
Jan didn't smile. She took a sip of her water and said "Sit down, Michael."
Michael knew that any chance their dinner had of becoming a date was completely gone, but for some reason the disapproving look on Jan's face just made the moths in his stomach go even crazier.
2. He'd purchased the movie on a fluke. He was at "Tar-Jay" because they had the first season of Bewitched on sale, and, well, who was he to pass on a classic? Besides, Samantha was hot when she twitched her nose. He grabbed the second to last copy of Bewitched off the shelf. He was about to check out when he noticed that Rocky Horror Picture Show was on sale. Rocky Horror was one of those movies he figured he should see at some point in his life. On a whim, he picked up the DVD box.
He was standing in the check out line when she came up behind him.
"Jan?" Michael asked, seeing her reflection in one of the mirrors next to the conveyor belt.
"Michael?"
"What are you doing here?"
"Scranton performance reviews are tomorrow, remember? I drove down tonight so I wouldn't have to drive for two hours tomorrow."
Michael nodded, grateful for the reminder about the performance reviews.
He looked at the items in Jan's basket: Chap Stick, panty hose, and… Bewitched season one.
"Bewitched, huh? Good show." He gestured to the two DVD box sets.
"I notice it was on sale, and I just thought 'what the hell?'"
Michael smiled. "Same here."
"$32.61" The lady at the check out announced. Michael handed her a credit card.
"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow."
"Bye, Michael."
That night, as Michael watched Rocky Horror Picture Show, he thought about seeing Bewitched in Jan's basket and about what other shows Jan might watch and how the names Jan and Janet are pretty close and how Jan is cuter than Susan Sarandon. Suddenly the moths were back and as Dr. Frank N. Furter performed his "mercy killing", Michael softly sighed "Dammit, Jan."
3. Michael was at corporate trying to pitch the idea of the documentary.
"Think of all the free publicity. Staples and Office Max have to pay for the air time. We'd be getting way more exposure than those guys."
Jan wasn't buying it. "How are you going to be productive with cameras in your face all day?"
"It'll encourage the staff to be more productive. They wouldn't want to look bad on television."
"Have you even thought about all the things you'll have to put up with?"
"I've me the crew and they're all great. They've agreed to respect our privacy and not, like, record over our shoulders while we send e-mails and they won't badger our customers. Plus, every one at the branch is totally up for it." Michael silently added 'except for Toby' to his statement.
Jan was silent for a few moments, and Michael was going crazy waiting for an answer.
"Fine."
"Yes!" Michael exclaimed, hardly attempting to contain his excitement.
"As long as you get everyone at the branch to sign a release form. And if I feel that the documentary is interfering with your work, I will…"
Michael wasn't listening. He was too giddy. If he wasn't afraid Jan would change her mind, he would have been bouncing up and down like he was a seven year old on a trampoline.
As he watched Jan's lips moving, ignoring the words that were emitting from them, Michael thought to himself I bet Jan would be hot on television.
"Are we clear, Michael?"
Oh yeah, Jan would definitely be hot on television.
4. Michael was surprised to see Jan at the branch when he came back from lunch that day.
"Jan… Janice. Janice from Friends. 'Oh my GAWD!'" Michael did a horrible imitation of the "Janice laugh" that ended up as a combination of the Pillsbury Doughboy and Cruella DeVil… and a dying cat.
Jan was less than amused. "Let's go into your office, Michael."
"Of course, ladies first." He held the door to his office open.
One of the camera men attempted to follow her, but she said, "No filming."
Michael closed the blinds, knowing that Jan would appreciate the gesture.
"So, what's up, dawg?"
Jan glared at him.
"Sorry."
"We need to talk about the health insurance plan you chose. There have been some complaints."
"But I didn't pick that plan, Dwight did."
"Exactly. You put Dwight in charge of the health care plan. What were you thinking?"
"Well, I originally wanted Jim to do it, but he was busy."
"It shouldn't matter that Jim was too busy. It was your job, Michael."
Michael knew that Jan was right, and that giving Dwight the job probably wasn't the best idea, but Michael would never admit it.
"What can I do about it now?"
"The rest of the office's health benefits will return to what they were from the start, while you will continue to have the plan that Dwight selected."
"That's not fair! Dwight picked it, not me."
"I'm sorry, Michael, but that's what corporate has decided is appropriate."
Jan really did feel bad for Michael, and she actually didn't agree with her colleagues'' decision, but she couldn't do anything about it.
Michael stared at Jan. She did look sincere when she said she was sorry. And to Michael Scott, there was nothing sexier than an apologetic woman (especially one who was feeling guilty and would probably do anything to make up for what she'd done.) Even though that wasn't the case with Jan, he couldn't help but wish it was. Because there really was nothing sexier than an apologetic woman… except maybe a naked one.
5/1. Jan was actually relieved when she signed the papers. It was nice to tknow that she wouldn't have to put up with him anymore. She wouldn't have to put up with the constant fights, she wouldn't have to put up with the fact that he never understood that her work was important, too, and she wouldn't have to put up with hoping he'd change his mind, even though she knew he never would.
As Jan got into her car, she contemplated blasting Kool and the Gang's "Celebration" while she drove back to the house she had gotten custody of in the settlement. (He'd gotten the TV, but she didn't care.) She was looking through her CDs when her cell phone rang. Distracted by her CD collection, she answered the phone without bothering to check the caller ID.
"Hello?"
"Jan. Jan, Jan, Jan, Jan, Jan…"
"What is it Michael?" Jan cut him off before he had the chance to make some lame reference to some TV show character whose name slightly resembled her own.
"One of the big guys from corporate just called me to say that we are going to be going on a little sales adventure on Thursday night, and I just wanted to go over a few things."
Jan sighed, she leaves the office for two hours to sign some divorce papers and this is what happens. She gets stuck on a sales call with Michael Scott.
Michael began rambling on about how he knew the guy they were selling to, because he, Michael, was two years ahead of him in high school. Well, he didn't really know him, but he knew of him. Jan wasn't listening. She let Michael babble on, occasionally mumbling a "mm hmm" or "okay".
When she finally got Michael off the phone, Jan turned up the music. She'd decided on The Golden Hits of Leslie Gore. For some reason, even with her impending sales call with Michael, today seemed like a "Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows" day.
She half sung along with the CD, thinking only of the lyrics and the road. But as it turned to "Judy's Turn to Cry", Jan began to think about how excited Michael had been about their meeting and how enthusiastically he was spouting off ideas. She wondered what could have been if he had gotten that excited about something other than a stupid football game. Something like having kids.
She thought about the fact that Michael would probably be good with kids. Hell, he was practically a kid himself. Then she thought about how good Michael would be with their kids. How he'd make them watch old sitcoms from the 60s and 70s to make sure they grew up on "The Classics." How he'd probably cover his office with their pictures and buy himself a mug that said "World's Best Dad" and buy her one that said "World's Best Mom." Then, of course, she wondered what she was thinking thinking about stuff like that… with Michael.
Jan pulled into the nearest gas station and parked in front of the 24 hour Mini Mart to buy a pack of cigarettes.
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