Yes, the title is stupid. I only had five seconds. This is a short chapter.
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Reposted because of you lovely people
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The Woes of Love and Sex
Chapter One: The Law
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He stretched his pale limbs before running his fingers nimbly through his dark locks. He was tired and worn from their recent mission but Kakashi had insisted that the team should have a talk on some important matter before retiring. He looked around and saw Naruto, sprawled on the grass while Sakura sat upright like him. He let his gaze linger on her, taking in her profile and the little details that contributed to her eternal beauty.
Her headband was snug and secure in her soft pastel locks. Her forehead seemed even bigger from the side, but it wasn't unpleasant to his eyes. In fact, it was cute and charming and made her look harmless which was ironic. Many knew what lay behind her abnormally large forehead.
A brain that granted her high intelligence and wit.
He noticed that her pale eyebrows were puckered in confusion, possibly wondering the purpose of the meeting. He rubbed several blades of grass with his fingers before staring at her beryl-green orbs. They were usually wide and innocent, the strange metallic specks in her eyes dancing. But now, her eyes were fierce and focused on her sensei who was idly fanning himself with his orange book. He could tell she was impatient, her constant frowning and the biting of her lower lip gave it away.
She was so easy to read, an open book that was laid out for anyone who was interested to read. On rare occasions she would try to shut herself from the world when she was upset. Her body seemed to betray her at these times and it was be blatant that she was hiding something. Only her eyes obeyed and magically became cryptic and harder to read.
His gaze trailed down her elegant neck, the curves of her breasts...
He tore his eyes away from the female and back to Kakashi who had just cleared his throat. Whatever their masked teacher had found important discuss was now carefully planned. Sai frowned, if it was about their performance on their recent mission and how his remark about Naruto's manhood had caused the irritated blonde to give away their position…well, there was no excuse except for his own entertainment of course.
He heard the blonde sit up, "This better be important Kakashi-sensei! I'm so hungry!"
Kakashi did not scold Naruto, instead he pocketed his book. Naruto and Sakura's shared looks of shock, "What is going on?" Sakura mouthed. It was well known that Kakashi was rarely found not flipping through his beloved book.
"Did any of you ever wonder why we put a female in each group when we divided you into groups back when you were genins?"
Sai stared back at Kakashi with a blank face; he had not participated in the division. He chewed on his tongue for a moment and decided to give it a shot, "Is it because females are the weaker sex and they have to be protected?" he suggested with an innocent face. He heard the familiar hiss and cracking of knuckles and smirked inwardly.
"Is it because males are stupid, reckless and irresponsible? Did they need a girl to keep them in check?" Sakura asked, her expression equally as innocent as Sai's; but her voice was strained and was laced with venom.
Kakashi sighed and rubbed at his exposed eye, "A long while after Konoha was founded, a big problem occurred. The ratio for males to females was 10:1. It was hard for men to find wives or… sexual relief because of this. A large series of rapes began. Little girls from the age of 5 would be raped and their corpses would litter the streets." He started, not stopping for breath. Clearly, this was not a comfortable topic for their cool leader.
Naruto's cerulean orbs were wide with horror and disbelief; the pink-haired female had a similar expression on her face.
"All these rapes had caused to ratio to increase. It became 20:1 and Konoha was frenzied with panic. There was a law passed that called for immediate execution for those who raped the girls of Konoha. The men found a loophole around this law. They began raping women of other villages which caused uproar and almost a war."
Goosebumps formed on Sakura's arms as horrible scenes ran through her mind.
"Then someone proposed a new idea. He suggested that at least one female is to be placed within the groups of ninjas. And the female ninja in the group would become the sex partners of her other male comrades."
There was an uncomfortable silence as the jounin paused to let the message sink in.
"WHAT?!" Sakura screamed, looking absolutely furious, "Are you telling me that I was chosen randomly just so I could become someone's 'sex partner'? The thing Iruka-sensei told us about 'dividing abilities equally' was all bullshit?"
"Of course the kunoichi wasn't chosen randomly." Kakashi said hastily, "Iruka didn't lie about that."
Sai looked at Sakura. She was breathing hard and was bright red in the face. He saw Naruto staring at Sakura as if seeing her in a whole new light. "That's a stupid idea!" Sakura gasped, wiping the sweat off her forehead. "Yes, I agree with you Sakura. But it did help decrease the number of rapes, and if not that; what else could they do?"
Silence.
"D-do we have to? What if Sakura-chan gets married?!" asked Naruto, squirming.
The dark-haired ninja rested his finger on his lips; a bit confused on the whole matter. He racked his brain in order to remember the definition of sex. He closed his eyes and sifted through the files in his head. He knew all 999 ways to kill an enemy with a piece of paper and how to remove a heart with a pair of chopsticks.
Sex.
Sex.
Sex.
Oh yes, to engage in sexual intercourse. Now what the fuck did that mean, exactly? He rubbed his temples and cursed himself for the lack of knowledge.
"Well the males usually find their own sweethearts before the female actually does." Kakashi explained. "Most of the time, a male comrade falls in love or lust with the female and they end up marrying. But if the female is married, she is off limits to her male comrades."
Kakashi's lone eye traveled from one face to the other, "I was actually supposed to tell you guys when you were thirteen or fourteen." He confessed gravely. "They give you a year to get close and forge close bonds with your teammates so that it wouldn't be so awkward. Obviously, you're only going to be willing to sleep with your partner if you share a certain level of trust. There was a perk, actually; missions seemed to go more smoothly since the whole team was comfortable with each other." The silver-haired male tried to lighten his tone in order to cheer up his female student.
The roseate shivered; it was hard enough to think about doing it with Naruto... She glanced at the pale skinned artist who was staring blankly past Kakashi, probably lost in his penis-land or something like that. She gagged involuntarily. They could give her a century and she still won't be comfortable with being in the same room as him.
"So yeah, that's about it. If you have any complaints or interested in attempting suicide; go to the Godaime." He finished, fishing out his book.
Sakura stood up stiffly and walked away. "Uh, Sakura-chan? Are we still going to go eat ramen later?" Naruto asked feebly. She froze, "…No, I forgot I had to do something…for Shizune-san." She gave him a small smile. Sai grinned inwardly, the smile was false. It probably looked apologetic to Naruto but he could see that it was actually forced.
He stood up quietly and headed for is apartment. A quick shower and he was going to visit the library to research. Even Naruto seemed to understand the concept of sex more than he did, no way was he going to let dickless know more than he did.
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End of Chapter
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I am in a desparate need of betas. I want someone I can trust, someone who won't go stealing and running off with my work. And someone with experience. I'm not looking for only one so you are all welcome to volunteer.
Also if you would like to suggest a new title for this fanfiction, I will gladly accept one that I find most fitting.
I'll update when you review!
P.S. Feel free to point out my errors.