Ice Demon Allysandra: Just when you thought it was safe to read another fanfic, we returned with a new tale of terror!

Lightning Demon Tetra: Iignores Allysandra while she munches on reese peanut butter cups* Huh? Did we start? Oh sorry. Yeah, what she said.

Allysandra: Anyway, please enjoy tonight's story *Takes down huge book of fairytales* I call this one…The Three Little Piggies! …nah…just kidding! Kyo in Wonderland!

Disclaimer: We like puppies, we like you! We no own so you no sue!

Barney: And remember: I love you!

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Kyo in Wonder…er…Horroland

Ah, a beautiful spring day at the Sohma house. The birdies chirped, the flowers bloomed, the kitty was moody as he sat on top of the roof. "For the last fuckin' time! I'm not reading that damn book!" he screamed at the brown haired, grey eyed girl who'd followed him. "Go away, Kagura!" She waved Alice in Wonderland at him.

"But I want you to read me my book, so you are going to read me the damn book! NOW!" Kyo shrinked away from Kagura, but grudgingly grabbed the book and flipped to the first page. "Fine, once upon a time…" He finally finished about dinner time. "Five fucking hours of stupidity!" he fumed. "YAY! Thank you Kyo-kyo! I LOOOOVE YOOOOU! Bye!" she scampered off home happily. He grumbled as he started to doze and fall asleep.

He awoke around…he checked his watch…WTF! Twelve noon the next day. Tohru folded laundry. Hatsuharu harassed her. "B-but Haru, I'm too young to get married." She blinked her blue (Tetra: Brown! Allysandra: Blue!) eyes and bowed her head in apology. "But I want you to marry me. Marry me Dammit!" Tohru screamed and ran into the forest while flailing her hands frantically about. Kyo, panicking like usual, ran after her while calling after her.

She didn't hear or didn't seem to hear. "Watch out, stupid!" he called. Too late. She screamed as she fell down a hole in the ground with a sign next to it saying, "Danger: Do not fall down." Kyo stopped. "Oh shit…" he stared at the hole for a minute and then jumped after her. He coughed when he got to the bottom. He smoothed his skirt…wait…what the fuck!

He looked down and to his horror, he saw he was in a blue dress, white apron, blue headband, white stockings and gloves, and black Mary Jane flat shoes. "This is a fuckin' nightmare! He screamed. He spotted Tohru and followed still trying to get her attention.

~Meanwhile~

A young boy with rabbit ears and a tail hopped merrily to the Purple King of Hearts (NOT red!). "Hi, you highnesty!" he chirped. "Guess what?" he smiled. Yuki smiled at Momiji, "Chicken butt?" Momiji looked at him quizzically. "Uh…no….I'm Momiji." Yuki blinked. "Oh…then WHAT DO YOU WANT!" he was having his mood swings again. "Uh—uh…uh! There's a girl here. A new girl." The boy whimpered as he explained.

Yuki picked up his remote control and a giant screen TV came down from the sky. He hit play and he saw a gorgeous hottie in a cute outfit. Sorta like the invisible Kyo's only hers looked more like lingerie. He nearly popped out of his pants. "Oh…my…God! Spank me and hand me to my mama! She's BEAUTIFUL! Oh, I hope she's coming this way." He fidgeted in his throne uncomfortably (Hehehehehe).

"I'll lead her here, sir!" Momiji chirped. "You better or off with you HEAD!" Mood swings again. Momiji gulped and bounced off to complete his task. Back with Tohru and Kyo, the orange-head boy was still spewing curse words about his change of clothes. "Son of a (BEEP) on a (BEEP)! Whoever did this can go (BEEP) themselves with a (BEEP) on a (BEEP) with a (BEEP) on top of a (BEEP) Matchbox (BEEP) Turnip (BEEP) Sonic the Hedgehog!"

He calmed down a bit. He had to follow Tohru and make sure she didn't get into trouble til they found a way home. Fucking Kagura and her fucking book. When they did get home, he was buying a deadbolt.

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Allysandra: Wasn't that fun? Want more? Please review or a pox on your towns.