I was in the middle of writing a couple of other oneshots when this story came to me in it's entirety. I really needed to write it down, so I did...and here it is! The song which Inuyasha quotes is called "Good Will Hunting by Myself" and it's by Ludo. I was originally going to write a story for Skip Beat! having Kyoko quote the song to Sho, but I thought this worked better. It you don't know the song, you should definitely look it up. It's hilarious!
Just a note: In general, I don't like the characterization of Kikyou as a bitch in AU high-school fics such as this one. But in order to make my story work, she needed to be cast like that. So I guess that makes me a hypocrite...
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or the song "Good Will Hunting by Myself"
Good Will Hunting (By Yourself)
Inuyasha scowled across the schoolyard as he watched his girlfriend – his ex-girlfriend – hang all over some other guy. As he thought about it, his scowl deepened.
"Hey! Inuyasha! Earth to Inuyasha! Are you there?"
Inuyasha blinked as his friend Miroku waved his hand in front of his face. He saw two of his other friends – Kagome and Sango – look at him in concern.
"Yeah, I'm here," he replied gruffly. "Just thinkin'…"
Miroku followed his gaze and sighed. "Forget about her, man. She's not worth it. Besides, you can do better."
Inuyasha looked up at him. "Yeah, I know. And in a weird sort of way, I'm kinda okay with the fact that she dumped me – we didn't have much in common, you know? But it still stings a little…and it's those rumors. Remember? The ones about how she only dated me cuz my dad's rich? That she only liked me for my money? I didn't believe them then, when we were dating, I thought people were just jealous, you know? But now I'm not so sure…I mean, just look at who she's with!" He gestured across the lawn to his ex-girlfriend Kikyou, who was hanging all over Onigumo Naraku. Naraku just happened to be the son of the man who just bought out Inuyasha's father's company, which just so happened to make him the richest kid in the school.
Sango sipped her soda. "Well, if that's true Inuyasha, it just means that Kikyou is a shallow bitch and you never should have gone out with her in the first place."
Kagome nodded in agreement. "Yeah 'Yash…she's not worth your time. Just forget about her."
Inuyasha shook his head. "I just need to make sure…" he muttered, more to himself than anyone else. Then he got up, and walked across the lawn towards Kikyou. "Kikyou! Hey Kikyou!"
Miroku, Sango, and Kagome exchanged worried glances before hurrying after their friend. As Inuyasha approached Kikyou, she turned to regard him coolly.
"Yes, Inuyasha? May I help you with something?"
"Well, uhm, you see…when we were dating, uhm…and then we broke up and, I was just uh…" Inuyasha faltered. He hadn't really planned out what he was going to ask Kikyou when he approached her.
Kikyou smiled at him pityingly. "Look, Inuyasha. I know you're heartbroken, and I'm sorry about that. But we just weren't working out. Besides, I'm with someone else now, and he's got more of what I want." She ran her fingers over Naraku's chest, to emphasize her point. Then she stood up and began to walk away, Naraku's arm around her waist.
Inuyasha clenched his fists at his side. He had gotten his answer, the rumors were true. But he was so angry, he just needed to say something. "GODDAMMIT! KIKYOU, WAIT!"
His shouting had gotten the attention of the entire student body, who turned to watch with interest. They had all heard about the break-up, of course, and they wanted to see how this would turn out. Kikyou turned around slowly to face Inuyasha, and she narrowed her eyes.
"What?" she asked coldly.
Inuyasha said the first thing that came to his mind. "You can watch Good Will Hunting by yourself!"
Kikyou blinked in confusion. "What?"
There were murmurs in the crowd of gathering students. Most wondered whether Kikyou had broken Inuyasha's brain, not his heart. There were a couple of quiet chuckles from people who had understood the reference, but it was mostly a murmur of confusion. Kagome giggled, she, Sango, and Miroku, had caught up to Inuyasha and were standing behind them. Sango smiled, and Miroku faked a cough to stifle his laughter. Inuyasha turned to see his friends, their eyes shining with mirth. Inuyasha grinned at them, then turned back to Kikyou, and took a deep breath. He suddenly knew exactly what he wanted to say.
"Girl, I remember when we was sittin' on your couch, watchin' Good Will Hunting, holdin' hands and drinkin' milkshakes. But milkshakes melt, people change. And you dumped me on my birthday. (There were some murmurs in the crowd, Kikyou had dumped Inuyasha on his birthday? But Inuyasha kept on speaking.) Right after I bought you that really expensive thing from the Body Shop, called Jojoba Loofah Milktowel or something like that, that I sold 147 Cutco knives to afford, but whatever, hey, it's cool. I've moved on you know, I'm happy now - well, happy in a crying sorta way. You know, curled up naked in the shower biting your knees wishing you were dead kinda happy. But I realized you were right. We were never meant to be. And you know what? Thank God! 'Cause you're the most vapid, whiny blah I've ever met! (A couple of chuckles were heard at that. A few guys chorused "Amen!" Kikyou flushed in anger.) Always making fun of my clothes, telling me how hot other guys are, asking me to pay you gas money?! Buy your own gas you bug-eyed mooch - it's your car and it costs more than my house! (Nobody really believed that…but by now, most of the crowd realized that Inuyasha was quoting something, even if they didn't know what it was) Oh, and now you're going around trying to sleep with my friends? (Miroku practically choked at the thought of Kikyou trying to sleep with him. He suppressed a shutter. He liked girls, yes, but Kikyou? No way.) Hey good, that really makes you an empowered individual - no wait, did I say empowered individual? I meant two-cent gutter slut! Listen you tanning-bed-baked, broke-ass, goat-faced, oompa-loompa monkey problem, I am proud to shop at Target, I'll wear warm-up pants any day of the week, Yes, your ass did look fat in those jeans, your mom's a M.I.L.F., And I plan to get on your little sister just as soon as I give her a call back, oh and you know what else? You can watch Good Will Hunting by yourself!"
"You bitch, please die!" three voices chorused behind Inuyasha, and he faltered for a moment. He turned to grin at his friends quickly, who had begun to sing along with him. He knew they would always be there for him, so he turned back to Kikyou, and continued singing.
"You can waste your life without my help!"
"You bitch, please die!"
"You can hang out with your friends, that is if you have any friends! You can watch Good Will Hunting by yourself!"
"Until your eyes fall out!"
"You can watch Good Will Hunting by yourself!"
"I hope your eyes fall out!"
"Why don't you go watch it by yourself?"
Inuyasha took a deep breath, as Kagome, Sango, and Miroku stepped forward to join him. They all sang the last line in unison:
"GO TO HELL!"
The gathered crowd of students erupted into cheers as Kikyou huffed, and turned and walked away stiffly, trying – and failing – to maintain her dignity. Naraku glared venomously at Inuyasha briefly before hurrying after her. Inuyasha laughed.
"Thank you Ludo!" he shouted to the sky. The crowd began to disperse. A couple of people came up to Inuyasha to tell him how cool that entire display was. Inuyasha just smiled. When it was just him and his friends standing there, he turned to them.
"Come on guys. Let's go."
They all turned and walked back towards their table, Kikyou all but vanished from their thoughts.
So what did you think? Please review, and tell me!
~Nala