warning: gay robots, don't like don't read :)

TF G1 isnt mine, I just play with the characters!

The Decepticon's Snow Day

It was like any other day in the Decepticon headquarters, not even the slightest bit peaceful. Not only was Megatron sucked deep into one of his little scheming fits, but Starscream was also enlightening everyone else's day with a bitch fest. He paced back and forth snarling and shrieking at his Leader about failed plans, and useless tactics. Quite frankly, he was giving everyone (except for Megatron who was too busy plotting the Autobot's demise to listen) a massive helm ache. The cone heads all slipped out of the command room to escape the constant bickering, almost an hour ago all the Constructicons were able to escape through the air ducts. That's how bad it was today, some of the largest bots in the Nemesis were so desperate to get away from the SIC that they crawled through tiny DUCTS.

Soundwave would have thought it actually quite comical, had his processor not been pounding like Unicron the Destroyer was stomping on it repeatedly. Even his cassettes were getting sick of Starscream's ranting, and Soundwave feared that they may reap revenge through pranks. Considering that many of the Decepticons were not really the sort of mechs to let someone humiliate them and live to tell the tale (or at least keep all their limbs), Soundwave feared his creations getting much more annoyed. He had to do something to get everyone out of the Nemesis, to get Starscream focused on something other than complaining.

The Communications officer had to do this to protect his children, and quite possibly, his sanity. Soundwave quickly hatched a plan, and after checking across the room to make sure Megatron wasn't paying attention, he opened up a search panel on the Communications centre. He hastily typed "Large Power Plants Located in North America" and let the data base do all the work for him. Multiple data files popped up, containing information on some of the largest power cores, he eagerly scanned through them, searching for something worthwhile. Then he spotted it, the perfect distraction for the Decepticons, the Nova-Core Power Plant. It was a huge nuclear site, it processed enough energy to make months of energon in just a few minutes, even enough energy to make some high grade (to both lift the soldiers spirits, and to simmer Starscream down). With further scanning Soundwave noted that it was located in Northern Canada, it was quite far, but by flight they could likely make it there by noon. Perfect.

"Lord Megatron" he monotoned, snapping his Leaders attention away from his plotting and towards the Com. Station. Starscream even shut up for a moment to look at Soundwave with contempt.
"What is it Soundwave" the tyrant asked, he seemed happy to hear something besides the screech of his SIC's voice, even if Soundwave's was completely monotone.
"Soundwave: found large nuclear power plant. Plant: not far from Nemesis. Soundwave suggests: Rally troops and raid for energon. Supplies: low." So maybe he lied about the energon stocks being low, actually they were stocked up quite nicely at this point in time, even Megatron knew that. But of course, Megatron, wise as he is, was more than ready to get out of the stuffy war ship to go on a field mission. Starscream opened his mouth to snap at Soundwave about his stupid plan, when Megatron spoke up
"excellent idea, Soundwave. We will go at once".

Soundwave may or may not have smirked behind his mask at the seekers irritated huff.

It was wonderful being outside, the fresh air and blissful quiet of the open skies. He had received multiple nods and appreciative smiles from the other Decepticons, he had not been the only one ready to strangle Starscream. His cassettes had begged to come on the mission with him, they really wanted to get out some energy. With a sigh he had agreed and loaded them up in his docks. Soundwave never really liked bringing his creations on missions, he always fretted over their safety, but this one was likely going to be a harmless and easy raid.

The further up North they flew, the brisker the air got. Some of the other mechs began to shiver a little bit, even Soundwave had to admit that he was cold.

"Maybe if we fly lower to the ground, it will be less cold!" hook suggested over the roar of their engines.
"If we fly too low we may be spotted by humans!" Megatron responded.
"What if we flew just under the cloud cover, it will still be high enough for humans to miss, but under the clouds it will be warmer!" another bot piped up. With a moment of consideration, Megatron directed his troops down towards the thick clouds. All of the Decepticons flew lower, breaking through the fluffy white clouds. Once they could all see the ground they stopped the decent. Then there was a long pause.
"What the frag is that?!" Thundercracker cried out, his optics glued to the ground.
"Idiot!" Starscream shrieked, "it's obviously…. Uh… well it's um… I don't fragging know ok?"

All the Decepticons froze and hovered in the air, staring at the land in awe. Over it stretched a field of white. It shone and sparkled in the light, like 1000 little crystals. The white substance hung onto bare tree branches, it was everywhere.
"Could it be some sort of grass or plant?" Hook asked, looking around for an answer. None came. After a long moment of silence, Soundwave spoke up.
"Natural earth phenomenon: precipitation. Designation: Snow. Warning: cold and wet". There was a longer pause that hung in the air for a few seconds, no one really knew what to do, they had never seen snow before.

"I WANA TOUCH IT!" Skywarp announced loudly, before cutting his engines and dropping to the land below.
"WARP NNOOOOOOO!" Thundercracker wailed dramatically and flung himself after the other seeker. Megatron looked at Soundwave in alarm, before Soundwave said flatly
"Snow: Harmless".

Megatron huffed and rolled his optics before following the two seekers towards the land. All the other troops followed his lead. They quickly caught up with the run-away seekers who were hovering above the empty field of untouched snow. There was an empty silence for a moment, no one dared to touch down in the "snow" stuff. It was inches under their hovering peds, so close, yet no one wanted to make the first move.

Slowly Megatron lowered himself to the ground, his peds sunk into the deep snow. Once his peds touched down the snow came up to his knees. The leader shivered and frowned, then nodded. His troops slowly followed, landing in the snow and each expressing their own distaste for it. Soundwave sunk in, and made a face behind his mask, wrinkling up his nose in displeasure. It was cold, very cold. It felt strange, powdery yet wet. Yet there was an audio pleasing crunch as he touched down, such a strange substance, he wasn't sure if he liked it or not. All the mechs looked around them in awe. They were in a huge field, surrounded by forests of naked trees. All of the branches were weighed down with snow, glittering claws of ice hung from branches.

A few of the mechs reached down to touch the snow flakes, letting out sounds of amusement when it melted in their servos. So strange, yet almost enjoyable. Immediately Starscream began bitching again about wasting time and cold peds, but before he could finish his statement, a ball of snow flew through the air and smacked him right in the face. He let out a baffled gasp and stood there in shock, snow tinkling down this frame. There were hushed snickers in the crowd of gathered mechs. Megatron grinned, his servos covered in some suspicious snow.

Starscream snarled and hissed "how dare you!" as he gathered a handful of the substance. He balled it up and flung it at Megatron, who ducked as it sailed over his helm. Instead the snowball planted itself firmly in Mixmaster's baffles faceplates. Within the timespan of a few seconds, a full on battle erupted. Snow and ice were flying everywhere. Someone nailed Soundwave right on the aft with a snow ball, he jumped and whirled around before ducking behind a tree for cover. He looked to his left and spotted Megatron hiding behind the tree next to him. His leader laughed before offering him his servo yelling "truce?" over the shouts of his troops. Soundwave nodded and shook the servo offered to him, before hiding back behind his tree. Snow balls were flung at the trees, smashing against them and dusting said mechs in snow.

"We have to find better shelter!" Megatron hollered at his TIC.

"Suggestion: build 'snow fort' as humans call it. Pile up walls of snow to aid on protection."

"We don't have enough mechs to make a decent sized one, we need more bots working with us." With that both mechs looked around for team mates. Quite quickly two teams were drawn. One consisting of Megatron, Soundwave, and the Constructicons. The other contained Starscream, the seekers, and the cone heads. All the other troops split evenly into the two teams. Soundwave released his cassettes and told them their mission. "Aid team in building fort, avoid snowballs" his creations gave him baffled looks, but nodded. They couldn't really complain. This was way more fun than a raid! With the help of the Constructicons, Megatron's team built a stunning fort. It was long and completely covered, it even had a roof.

On the other side of the 'battle field' Starscream's team spotted the fort and immediately began constructing their own. It took them a few roof collapses to figure out how much room to make to fit their wings.

As soon as both teams made their bases, the fight broke out. Snow balls were flying everywhere. Soundwave was out in the open with his cassettes, they made a great team. It really brought him joy, seeing his creations laughing and hurling snow at the seekers, almost like normal children. Hook and his group were going one on one with the cone heads. At one point Thundercracker fell back into the snow after tripping in the heavy snow. He let out a rather high pitch squeal at the ice on his wings. After that, everyone knew to aim at the seekers wings, much to their annoyance. All the Decepticons were howling and cursing at each other, yet their broad grins and laughs of joy made them look like over grown children.

Soundwave heard a sound of shock to his right and watched as Megatron got hit on the shoulder so hard by a snow ball that he tumbled back into the snow. Soundwave looked at him with worry, but his leader pushed himself back up and began throwing again. Soundwave turned his helm to see who threw the ball that hard, and three things happened at once. First he spotted the thrower, Tidal Wave, a mech just about twice his size. Then he spotted the Snowball in Tidal Waves servo, the servo that happened to be reeled back right in his direction. Then he FELT the snowball collide with his face mask, a hit of pure force, it sent him sprawling into the snow a few feet back. There was a loud shattering sound when he was hit, and he realised, dimly laying in the snow that not only had his visor been smashed, but so had his mask and vocoder. Thus, he was laying in snow, with nothing to cover his face, or to change his voice, in a field of his fellow Decepticons. Frag.

Megatron and his cassettes were the first to pop into his vison, all wearing worried expressions. His children showed faces of empathy for their creator, and Megatron just looked at him with shock. There was a long silence as Soundwave slowly pushed himself up on his elbows, broken glass and metal shards slowly falling with soft tings. The field had gone completely silent as everyone stared at his face, his real face.

Starscream was surprised, really surprised. He didn't really know why, but he had always pictured Soundwave being older, or uglier, or hiding a scar or something! Why would you wear a mask and visor all the time if you had a perfectly fine face? Actually, Starscream thought, he's pretty attractive. Not that he would ever admit that. And such rare features to, why anyone would hide that he just didn't know. Soundwave had a perfectly shaped face, with pale silver skin and ridiculously high cheek structures. Not that Starscream was jealous or anything… but …. It wasn't fair damn it. The TIC had a perfectly sized almost button nose, under which sat a perfectly soft looking set of lips. Which were turned down in a small pout… which totally didn't want to make Starscream hug him and strangle him at the same time… oh no not at all. And to top it all the frag off, the communications officer stared back at them with big, innocent looking golden optics. A rare mutation to begin with, gold optics were even rarer to find during war times. And no Starscream was not. Fragging. Jealous! He just didn't feel like sharing his position as one of the most attractive Decepticons with someone else. Especially Soundwave. But with a smirk he realised that no one would ever want to be with Soundwave, his boring monotone would scare anybody off. He preened in this information until he heard Soundwave speak up.

"um… oops?" Soundwave asked in a soft voice. The monotone completely gone now that his vocoder had shattered. His voice had a soft, evenly pitched tone, and was basically perfect. And Starscream totally didn't want to strangle him until he felt that prefect little voice box crack under his servos. Behind him, Starscream heard a low whistle and some murmurs. One voice saying something along the lines of
"hotter than screamer". That was the final straw. With a scream of rage Starscream grabbed a fistful of snow and hurled it at Soundwave. It hit him right in his perfect little fragging face. Soundwave let out a little sound of surprise, before grabbing more snow and throwing it back.

Immediately the fight was back on. Snow flying was everywhere orders were screamed, and smiles were had. The only difference being that now more bots got hit when they spent a distracted moment staring at Soundwave. Another 10 or so minutes passed of continuous war fare as it got more and more intense.

"Soundwave!" Megatron shouted from across the field. His officer looked over at him and he motioned Soundwave to come over to the fort. They both slipped into their base, quickly followed by the rest of their team. Most of the mechs glancing at Soundwave, who's creations let out little snickers at the unwanted attention. Soundwave shot a few glares back before turning his attention to Megatron.

"Nice to finally see you Soundwave" he said with a grin, Soundwave gave a soft nod in return. "Alright men, we need to form a plan, we are getting g no-where with our current actions, and it's unlikely that we are going to win if we keep this up" he said. "Thus I have a plan, we must raid the other team". His plot earned grins from multiple mechs and nods. However, before much else could be said, there was a bright flash and bang of light in the centre of their huddle. All mechs jumped back with shock as Skywarp warped right into their fort. The seeker looked at them with shock, he obviously didn't plan to warp right next to the entire team. He let out a small awkward laugh as he regarded all the opposing bots. When his optics landed on Soundwave, he froze. A shit eating grin formed on his face, Soundwave was reminded of his twins before a prank. That, he didn't like. Before anyone could pummel the intruder, Skywarp screamed "WE'RE TAKING A HOSTAGE!" then wrapped his arms around Soundwave before warping away out of sight with Soundwave in shocked tow.

All hell broke loose immediately after, Megatron's team stumbled out of their fort and ran to the boarder of their 'territory'. They all howled complaints across the battle field to the other team, who were hiding in their fort.

"Hey! Give him back!"
"That wasn't fair! We don't have a warper here!"

"You can't intrude on our fort!"

"We never agreed on hostages!"

"Give us back our eye candy!"

Starscream's help poked up from behind his fort, he yelled back "Too late! He's ours now!" followed by a softer "Do I get any say in this at all?" from Soundwave.

"You'll pay for this!" Megatron yelled at him and his team started throwing more snowballs at the other fort. The fight continued.

Soundwave never thought that his innocent plan to get out of the base would land him here. He had been handcuffed and tied down to the back of the fort, which was apparently the "brig". At least that's what Starscream called it. Thundercracker was sitting across from him, guarding him so he couldn't get away. Soundwave almost had to applaud their efforts. Did they really think they could hold one of Megatron's best spies' hostage with some cuffs, rope, and snow? Well, at least they tried. He could hear the teams continuing their little battle in the field. His amber optics flicked to his guard as he formulated a plan.
"Why do you wear that mask?" Thundercracker asked, studying him as though we were an experiment, a rather fragable experiment. Soundwave huffed before saying "I'm not very good at hiding emotion from my face, or my voice. So I must wear the mask so bots can't read me like an open book. That and I don't like the attention my optics receive". Thunder cracker grinned at him and winked.

"Well maybe I should just make sure to "accidentally" break all your masks and visors now". Soundwave gave him a hard glare. Thundercracker cleared his throat and apologised to his commanding officer.

Soundwave relaxed his mind, letting his telepathy slip undetected into the seekers CPU. He slowly lulled him to sleep, once Thundercrackers help lolled to the side, Soundwave grinned. Perfect. Slowly Soundwave twisted himself around, he rolled onto his back and slipped his cuffed servos under his frame, so they were no longer behind his back. He regarded the locks, then set to work, carefully using a small tool to unlock them. When he heard the soft click, he sprang them open and took them off. He proceeded to untie the rope around his legs and peds, thus freeing himself. Soundwave then used the cuffs to handcuff Thundercracker, and then tied him to his seat. Before he slipped out of the room, Soundwave took a moment to write with his finger in the snow "nice try glitch faces ;) ".

Megatron growled in annoyance, this was not going well. Soundwave was being held hostage, his team was being pummeled, and Starscream was letting everyone remember that. He threw another snowball at Skywarp, putting a little bit too much force behind the throw. He grinned at the yelp he got as the snow hit the seekers wings. As he went to create another snow ball, Megatron heard Starscream howling about something. He looked up to see Soundwave dashing across the field, easily dodging snowballs thrown at him. Immediately his team started cheering and hollering for him to hurry. As Soundwave blew past the border in the middle his team howled in joy, as did his creations, who ran up to greet him with huge smiles. "You showed them boss bot!" Rumble yelled. Rabat squeaked and cuddled against his carrier's neck. Soundwave let out a breathless laugh and walked back to his own fort, sliding down to sit against the wall. Megatron gave a ticked off Starscream the middle finger salute as he went to talk with his team and Soundwave.

Hidden behind a row of trees, a group of confused bots watched the snowball fight go down.

"uh… sir?" Jazz said in a soft voice. "When you said there were reports of Decepticon's flying around this area… I didn't… I don't think we….. sir?". Optimus prime turned to look at his men, his faceplates contorted in confusion and bewilderment.
"I .. I don't know Jazz" he responded, his voice sounded oddly hollow and confused, "I just don't know".
"Well they're obviously not causing a ruckus" Iron Hide drawled, he received a few slow nods.
"Except for the fact that they are having a fragging snowball fight in the middle of fragging nowhere… what the frag?" Sunstreak muttered, scratching his helm.
"Well we can't exactly arrest them for having a snow ball fight… can we?" Prowl asked.
"I… don't think so, mech." Blaster whispered, his optics not leaving his nemesis, Soundwave, who was, at the moment, laughing and throwing snowballs with his kids.
"I just don't get it" Whispered Jazz. Everyone nodded.
"'know what I don't get?" Blaster whispered softly, "Why the frag do I want do get down and dirty with Soundwave?" More nods from the Autobots.
Optimus gave his helm a quick shake and said "There's nothing we can here bots, let's just get home, well keep an optic on them with Telitran." They all agreed, they also all agreed on drowning this memory out with high grade at their earliest conveyance.

The Decepticons fell back in the snow. Starscream, who was covered in snowball powder raised his servos in defeat and cried out "I GIVE UP! YOU WIN!"
Megatron called back "damn right I do" as he fist bumped an exhausted Soundwave (who he may or may not have just been kissing behind the fort). All the Decepticons sat there for a moment in silence, and watched at the sun set.
"How long have we been here for?" Hook asked shakily.
"6.45 hours" Soundwave said in a stunned voice. Silence spread through the group as they stared at one another.
"…so…. Are we just gonna go back to the base now or something?" Frenzy asked softly. Everyone nodded in unison, too tired to really carry out the original raid planned. Megatron contacted Shockwave, asking for a space bridge back to the nemesis. When Shockwave protested that that would use up too much energy, Megatron told him to send it any ways, they were much too tired to fly.

Once back in the nemesis, most bots went their own separate ways, or with their groups. For once, life on the Nemesis was pretty peaceful. Starscream went straight to berth, and most mechs spent the evening quietly with each other, too tired to hatch major plots or take over the world. The base was perfectly quiet, unless of course you took a stroll by Megatron's room. It wasn't quiet there at all, and no… Soundwave wasn't in there with him…. Not that either would admit it anyways. ;)

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Kaileeyp