A/N: I know I haven't updated any of my stories in like, a thousand years. I've been super busy lately. Sorry to anyone who has been waiting! I'll try to have them up soon. I wrote this pretty quickly after tonight's episode because I was waiting the entire episode for Juliet to appear. But she didn't. So I had to write a little something of my own. Anyhow, this is in Juliet's point of view. Hope you like it! At the moment this is only going to be a two part story.
Falling in love has never been a strong point of mine in love. Sure I've thought I was in love before. I've come close. But I have never grasped anything past the shadows of it. Love for me was like trying to hold the glimmering sun in your palms by filling them with the ocean water tinted with its reflection. I can't remember ever dating someone who didn't end up making me miserable.
Well, that's not completely true. I remember it. I remember a man I loved more than anything. It just never actually happened.
I can't describe the things I've been feeling. Some of these memories…they aren't real. Sometimes I see myself with a gun, which is almost as ridiculous as it would be to grow wings and fly away. I was the one who would capture spiders in a cup and set them free. The one who would cry if Rachel stepped on an ant. Me carrying around a gun? Impossible.
Other memories weren't as clear. More of a feeling then a picture. But this feeling of love, of actually getting past the shadow and touching the sun was as real as anything else I knew.
Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe I'm desperate. Regardless of what it is, it hurts just as much every time I have to remind myself it isn't real.
There was that presence of the mystery man again as I hurried down the street. I tried to shake the feeling away, but it was useless. It was worse than ever, and it wasn't going anywhere.
I was still in my own world of memories when I walked straight into some guy getting out of his car.
"Hey, watch it!"
"Sorry."
The man glared up at me, but as soon as my blue eyes met his, the glare turned into something else. "Do I know you?" He asked.
I looked him over. There was something oddly familiar about the man standing there. But I couldn't place it. "I don't think so."
"You sure? I could swear I do…" he trailed off. He studied me some more and then said suddenly, "I'm just going down the block to grab some coffee with a friend. Wanna come?"
I bit my lip. I didn't know the guy at all, but I knew I wasn't interested. "I actually have to go-"
"I'm not hitting on you," he interrupted. Then he added, "I have a girlfriend. I want you to meet my partner. He's been having a rough couple of days, and I have the feeling you two would get along great."
"You don't even know me," I laughed uncomfortably. But as soon as the words came out, I knew they weren't true.
Before the guy had a chance to answer I said, "I'd love to, but I really can't. I have to go pick up my son."
His eyes flickered to my hand.
"I'm not married," I added quickly. "Not anymore."
"Oh. Well can I at least give you his number? He wouldn't mind."
I wasn't quite sure what to say to that.
"Here." He pulled a pen and crumpled piece of paper from his pocked, smoothed the paper out, and scribbled something down. "Call him of if you get a chance."
I took the paper from his hands and looked at it. I didn't see the number.
James Ford.
As soon as I read that name, something shifted inside of me. Nothing else mattered. I had to see the man that went along with that name.
"Actually, I can call my ex-husband and see if he could pick take our son back to his place for today."
"Fine by me. I'm Miles, by the way."
"Juliet," I shook his hand. And as I followed him down the road and pulled out my phone to call Jack, I smiled. Maybe this mystery man did exist. Maybe we were in love. Maybe I had reached further than the shadows at some point, in some life. And maybe I was close to doing it again.