For a long time I didn't have the courage to post this…

Grandpa

"I..I don't have a real grandfather to give you…" Dee spoke softly as he treaded through the familiar stones. "I wish I had a fortune, or a business empire, or even a name I could give you. I made mine up…" The small bundle in his arms wriggled slightly.

"I wish I could show just how much I love you, baby. I wish I had something that could explain it all."

Brown eyes opened

"I don't have a family to give you either… there's just me and your Daddy, and Bikky and Carol. And Mother of course, but I have no one to present you to. I have no one who would love you and cherish you on the side of your dad and I. I have no one who would resemble you and I that could remind you of our bonds and help ground you to your family or remind you who you have standing with you."Dee followed the beaten path through the cemetery. "I made my family up too, we're all scattered to the winds now… I used to think that never mattered… I had my own kind of family, and people I love. But now I look at you." Dee took a long stare into the brown eyes of the baby in his arms. "And I know it'll never be enough…" He felt his chest get tight as he thought about it.

He had no one who looked like her, except himself. He and Ryo were the only real justification she had. He wondered if there were people wandering this earth that looked like her. And if they ever stopped like this and thought about him and if he survived. And maybe that there was someone like her that was a part of them, somewhere in the world. He imagined estranged people of his family living their own lives away from each other, no one having contact; assuming they all got the same treatment he did. He looked down to the child in his arms. This angel was just born… and yet she had already been robbed of so much. Suddenly Dee was more furious about his past than he had ever been before in his life. It never mattered before when it was just him. He would always just mentally vow to become something great, to surpass them and make it so they didn't matter anymore. He would make a new family and live a happy life, and he had done that, those old wounds were closed; until she came along.

He remembered what Ryo had said about them being all the family she'd need. He was right but it still hurt him.

He loved his daughter all the more for her resemblance to Ryo. The dark irises in her eyes matched nearly perfectly with his. Her skin was pale like his and she even showed the beginnings of his laugh. But when she closed her eyes as she did now, dozing in her father's arms, she looked just like him. Mother had dug up some old photos of Dee from right after he had come to her as a days-old infant. Even through all the bad shots of an unwilling photo subject Dee could still tell the resemblance. Her whole face matched his own; and this won the girl more of his affections. Her dark hair and the alignment of her eyes and nose were dead on. While this was pleasing to him it also ran him down a haunting train of thought. As he wove through more headstones he began to think.

How did it play out before, years ago, when a man or woman had left their baby behind in an alley? Dee looked to his baby and imagined her as himself… sleeping soundly, perfect and quiet while they left him behind. His eyes shot across the grass to the field beyond. There weren't any alleys around here, but he could force the images in his mind to mold: His daughter in the alley, her body hidden by shadows. Passersby cannot see her. Dee stands before her, waiting for confirmation she is asleep so he can step out into the street and get on with his life… he turns to step away… he turns to step away…

He turns…that's as far as he got. He couldn't do it, even in his head. He couldn't imagine leaving his own child behind. Not when she was so precious, and certainly not when she needed him. He tried to think up the motivation his parents might have had. What could have possibly been so important they would turn him away so they could maintain it? What was so horrible about him that they couldn't have both?

He didn't understand it. He didn't know why they did it. He didn't know how. He used to believe he was at fault, and then later in his life he thought his parents must have been very evil people, but now with his own child… he knew his parents must have simply felt…nothing. His parents just didn't care. For the first time in his life Dee wasn't filled with self doubt over this, but instead he felt pity and simple resentment. It was their problem and their loss. Because whoever it was that had the balls to ditch him in that alley was missing out on two very fabulous human beings.

"You and Ryo." Dee vocalized. That was alright though, he was more than happy to keep them both to himself.

Dee made it over the crest of a small hill, the headstones coiled around a curve in the path. There were a few trees and flowers growing. He headed for the familiar stone without having to look, instead giving his sleeping daughter his attention.

"Hey Dad." Dee slowly sat down; dropping the empty baby carrier he had been carrying next to him. "How are you doing?" He was answered with silence, as always but the air around him held a little more cheer than before. "Sorry, no whiskey, I brought her this time. She fell asleep on me on the way here; maybe while we're here she'll open her eyes. Dad, their just like Ryo's…" Dee said with awe. The baby moved in her sleep again, Dee watched her and smiled. "I know I didn't introduce Ryo the first time he came, but the little lady can't introduce herself yet… So, this is Mischa Maria Hikari Maclean-Laytner. I know, it's a mouthful, but I wanted her to have a Japanese name. Ryo didn't want one of our last names to become her middle name so he picked that one…"

Dee smiled down again at Mischa, stroking her cheek. "Baby? I want you to meet grandpa."