Sonic and the Gay Ring!
Sonic is there running like a mindless freak as always, when suddenly, Ivo Eggman Robotnik appears from the sky in his UFO and descends into the ground.
"Sonic, you are too late, now that the chaos emeralds are in my hand, I, Ivo Eggman Howlett Robotnik, shall do what I should have done long ago, because this time I found your weak point and with these emeralds I can make it come true!" Robotnik says.
"No! Don´t flood the world with water, I have a phobia of water, not to mention that with the world flooded I can walk slower and drown!" Sonic says.
"Pfft, hell no, that´s just retarded, I´m going to use them to create another gigantic monster that it´s weakpoints are it´s own source" Robotnik says as with the power of the emeralds, he creates the world´s biggest threat...Generic Monster #29.
"You know, I can just call the Power Range-"
"Shut the Fuck up." Eggman interrupts Sonic.
"Well, at least, due to writing, you´re going to lose all your emeralds." Sonic says.
"No I´m no-Oh." Eggman says as he realizes that the emeralds vanish from his hands
Eggman starts walking away.
"Wait, where are you going?" Sonic asks.
"I´m leaving, I have to watch the Game of Thrones, so I´m going to let some puny robots that don´t seem to never attack do my job, soooooooo...See ya." Robotnik says as both him and the 29th generic monster leave.
"Sonic, I´m going to help you." Tails says.
"Sweet, let´s catch them now, then." Sonic says.
"No first, you need the emeralds." Tails says.
"Shit." Sonic swears
They then head to level 1.
"This one is easy, it´s just a tutorial." Tails says.
"Oh Ok." Sonic says.
"To jump, press the A button."
"Wait, what the funk?" Sonic says.
"I should have said that this place is flooded with messages." Tails says.
"Achievement unlocked: Stand Still."
"Oooooookaaaaaaay?" Sonic says.
"Hi, I´m Omochao." A little chao appears introducing himself.
"Oh god, this is getting fucking stupid." Sonic says when suddenly, the entire stage is flooded with messages.
"Tails, I can´t find you with all this text flooding the whole stage, where are you, you little piece of shit?" Sonic says.
They then head to level 2.
"This one is-"
"You don´t need to say anything Tails, I´ll do what I am best at...BOOSTING TO WIN!" Sonic says
"HIYAHOOHAHIYACOMEONSTEPITOUT YOU´RETOOSLOWYOU´RETOOSLOWCHILIDOGSSEGAFORUMW ORLDSHAMELESSADVERTISINGSONI CISTHENAMESPEEDISMYGAMETHEYC ALLMESONICPRESSTHEABUTTONYEA HYEAHYEAH!" Sonic said like a retard as his words fell into gibberish
5 levels later...
"Wow, where am I?" Sonic asks himself
"You´re in the obligatory water level, in this one you don´t boost to win,sooo... meet me at the end of the level." Tails said as he left sonic by flying.
"I CAN´T FLY, YOU SICK FUCK!" Sonic shouted.
Later...
"Wow, this alley seems abandoned." Sonic says to himself.
"Why did I say that knowing that I´m alone?" Sonic asks himself.
"Rise and Shine, Mr. Freeman, I´m the G-Man, to pass every level, you have to listen to me!" the G-man said
"Excuse me, my name is not Freeman." Sonic says.
"Wait, this isn´t Half Life?" G-man asks.
"Noooooooooope." Sonic responds.
"Well Fuck." G-man says as he left.
"Now, more boosting to win!" Sonic shouted
"CHILIDOGSBEERSMYCOCKISONFIRE HIYAHOOHAHEEHIYAYEAHLET´SSOLVEWITHTHETRUEPOWEROF-*breathes heavily*" Sonic gets dizzy and he pukes on the ground.
"Man, I got to slow the fuck down." Sonic says.
Later...
"Sonic! Generic Monster # 29 gone beserk , he ain´t listening to Eggman anymore! And he is going to destroy Empire City! Use the emeralds!" Tails says.
"Yeeeeeeeeeah, about that..." Sonic says.
Flaaaaaaaaashbaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aack
Sonic is at KFC.
"The Jumbo bucket of fried chickens is...$38.99." the man ordering sonic says.
"Shit...Hmm...Do you accept these powerfull that turn you into Super Saiyan instead?" Sonic asks.
"Meh, it works." the man says.
At the current time
Tails looks pissed at sonic after hearing his story.
"You Sick Motherfu-" Tails was about to say something, but it was too late, the 29th generic monster destroyed the entire Empire City and killed Sonic and Tails on the proccess.
The End.