"Hey, Bones, wanna tell what I'm doing here on my day off?" Booth asked in a teasing tone, walking into her karate dojo in jeans, a t-shirt, and a day's growth of scruff on his face.
Brennan, standing on the mats barefoot in her gi, looked him over with a frown. "I said to look presentable." She said.
Booth looked down at himself. "This is presentable. It's Saturday." He said defensively.
"That shirt has a hole in the armpit." Brennan said.
Booth raised his arm, and twisted his neck, yanking on the shirt to get a look. He spotted the hole, straightened up and said. "So?"
"So..." Brennan stopped, considering. "Nevermind. This might work better."
"What might work better?" Booth said. "Tell me what's going on."
"You know my sensei, Michael?"
"Yeah. The short guy." Booth nodded immediately.
Brennan laughed. "He's not that short."
"Bones, he's the shortest guy I've ever seen." Booth said reasonably.
"Okay, well, he asked me out a few weeks ago. We went out, had a drink, and he's been very persistent in pursuing me in spite of the fact that I told him that I wasn't sexually attracted to him and..."
Booth cut her off. "You said that?!" He asked, horrified.
Brennan looked at him quizzically. "Of course." She said. "He has a narrower than average pectoral girdle and his mandible..."
"Okay, I get it. Did you tell him that too?" Booth asked.
"Yes."
Booth winced. "Ouch."
"What?" Brennan said.
"Geez, Bones. You really didn't pull punches. You may have well just told him he...didn't measure up, you know?" Booth said meaningfully.
Brennan looked blank, then understanding dawned. "You mean the size of his penis?" She asked.
"Shh!" Booth hissed, frowning and looking around to see if anyone was nearby to overhear.
"I wouldn't have firsthand knowledge of that." Brennan concluded. "Anyway, he's an excellent sensei and I'd like to continue learning from him, but since all reasonable methods of rejecting him failed I have come up with a plan to misdirect him."
"Misdirect?" Booth said warily, suddenly suspicious. "Where do I factor into all this?"
"Michael is very intimidated by you."
"Uh huh." Booth said in a tone that said get to the bottom line.
"Yes. He is." Brennan said earnestly. "You are an alpha male and your pectoral girdle is nearly perfect."
"Thank you." Booth said, huffing out a laugh.
"So, if Michael thinks I'm in a relationship with a man like you, I'm certain he'll follow accepted social hierarchy and stop pursuing me." Brennan said brightly.
"Wait, what?" Booth asked, flustered. Color came to his cheekbones. "You want me to act like I'm your boyfriend?"
"Yes." Brennan nodded. "Just stay for class like I asked and we'll leave together. Did you walk here? I'll drive you home."
"Uh, thanks." Booth was still processing everything. He shoved both hands in his pockets. "But, Bones, hang on. You told him we're...um....dating?"
"Quiet! Here he comes." Brennan stepped off the mats and stepped in close to Booth's side, slipping her arm through his and around his waist. She leaned her head against his shoulder and beamed up at him. Booth grinned back instantly, her smiles always had this affect on him, and automatically took his hand from his pocket to rest it at her waist.
"Temperence!" Michael, a slenderly built man of meager height, walked energetically up to them. "Oh! Hello Mr. Booth." He added, his posture becoming meek as if a switch had been thrown. "Are you joining us for class?"
"Hi Michael." Booth replied, getting into character and giving the other man a cool look. "Uh, nope, just here to watch my girl kick some ass." He gave Brennan a hard squeeze and a pat on the backside, smirking at her look of surprise and annoyance. "Why don't you show me what you can do, sweetheart?"
Brennan gave him a narrow look and walked back to the mats where Michael stood. She quickly smoothed her expression and smiled at Booth winningly. "Sure, sweetheart." She mimicked his tone.
Booth grinned and walked over to the side of the room to lean back against a wall and watch.
Brennan was truly fantastic. Athletic, graceful, deadly. Booth's mouth went dry as he watched her go round after round, auburn ponytail whipping, hands flashing, teeth bared. When Michael called an end to the lesson, she was disheveled and sweaty. It shouldn't have been sexy but it was. Booth almost didn't register that she was approaching, smiling and breathless, followed by Michael.
When she reached Booth she murmured. "Kiss me."
"Huh...?" Booth said, a slap of desire striking him mute with his mouth agape.
"Close your mouth and kiss me." Brennan insisted. She stepped in and slid her arms around his waist, tipping her face up with an urgent look on her face.
Booth blinked and closed his astonished mouth. He swallowed hard and leaned forward to gently press his lips against hers. Soft was all he could think before he couldn't think at all anymore. His hands came up to frame her flushed face and, without intending to, he tilted his head and deepened the kiss. Brennan made a muffled sound of surprise and melted against him. For three shocking seconds their lips and tongues tangled before they snapped apart as if yanked by strings. "Uh..." Booth said.
"Wow, I'm really embarrassed, Temperence." Michael said, reaching them. "Mr. Booth, I'm sorry. I didn't realized that you and Temperence are..."
"Uh...yeah." Booth said, still dazed. "Yup. Me and Bo...Tempe." He looked down warily into Brennan's wide-eyed face. "Right, baby?" He asked with a tight smile.
"Yes." Brennan responded in a rush, coming back to life. "Yes. That's right."
Michael looked disappointed and uncomfortable.
Brennan moved to stand against Booth's side.
He put an arm around her shoulders and gave Michael a hard look. "Thanks for letting me come by and watch, Mike." He said. He held out a hand to the sensei.
Michael shook Booth's hand, blinking at Booth's grip. "My pleasure. Anytime. You've got...uh...a great lady here."
"I know." Booth said, his eyes flat.
Michale managed to pull his hand free and said. "See you Tuesday, Temperence." Before he hurried off.
The two partners stood awkwardly before they drew apart. Booth cleared his throat.
Brennan spoke. "Come on. I'll drive you home."
"Thanks, Bones." Booth said, following her out of the dojo and into the noonday Saturday sun. "Want to get some take out on the way?"
"That sounds good." Brennan said. They got into her car and started toward the nearby Thai restaurant. "That...kiss, by the way, was...very convincing. Thank you."
"Thank...?" Booth hiccupped a laugh of disbelief before he recovered himself. "Yeah, well, quick thinking under pressure. Sniper training."
Brennan gave him a look that he couldn't read. They pulled into the restaurant lot.
"I'll go." Booth said. "Bean sprouts and tofu?"
"Please." Brennan said. Booth got out of the car and jogged into the restaurant. Brennan leaned her head back against the headrest and placed a hand against her butterfly-filled stomach. "What was that?" She muttered to herself.