Lauren
Pairing: Cabenson
Disclaimer: Don't own L&O: SVU. It belongs to Dick Wolf.
A/N: Bkwrmchar requested a story based on 9x12 "Signature," which is the episode with Special Agent Lauren Cooper from the BAU of the FBI. So since I finally watched that episode (I haven't seen all the episodes, sue me), I thought this up.
A/N 2: Alex went into WitSec in Season 5, episode 4 "Loss," and after Season 6, episode 16 "Ghost" came out of it.
Spoilers: Season 9, episode 12 "Signature"
Summary: Olivia has just witnessed Lauren Cooper kill herself. There's only one person who can make the guilt and pain better.
Olivia Benson sank to the floor, her head in her hands, unable to make the visions leave her. CSU went in and out, Melinda stopped and talked to her, but she didn't hear her, not really. Chester had spoken to her, but like with Melinda, she didn't hear anything. She felt tears well up in her eyes, fisting her hands in her hair. Damn it all. Why didn't I do something? Why didn't I stop her? Lauren's words sting rang in her ears: "Those who fight monsters should make damn sure they don't become one." She'd heard Chester shout that there was a gun, but it was all over before she could do anything. Lauren…Lauren was dead, and there was nothing she could've done to stop her. She needed…
"Olivia," heels clicked against the floor before Alex was kneeling in front of her, slightly out of breath. Her dark charcoal suit was going to have to be ruined. This was an emergency. She moved a hand to pry the detective's fingers away from her head, her voice gentle, "Come here, Liv. Come here."
The detective's gaze met Alex's, watery brown meeting helpless blue, "Alex," the brunette croaked out, shaky hands cupping the blonde's face, "There wasn't…I couldn't…"
"Shh, Liv," Alex leaned in and rested her forehead on the detective's, hoping to give the brunette the strength to move, "we don't have to talk about it right now."
"I want to go home, Lex. Take me home." She didn't want to worry about her statement. She'd never forget what she saw. She'd never… "Please, Alex. I…I want to…"
Alex cut her off, her arms coming to wrap around the shaken woman, holding her tightly, gently coaxing her off the floor, "Let's go home, baby."
Olivia clung to her arm, her eyes slightly hollow, allowing the attorney to lead her from the room, out of the nightmare.
Slipping the keys into the lock, Alex guided Olivia into their apartment. Though she knew that she should've called Cragen and let him know what they were doing, she knew that Detective Lake or Dr. Warner would let him know of Olivia's state. Or lack of state. She hadn't said a word since those few moments after the attorney had found her in Lauren Cooper's apartment. Shutting the door, she headed into the living room, where the detective had wandered. Olivia was stoic, sitting on the couch, staring at the blank TV screen, her jacket thrown over one arm of the couch.
Damn it all to hell. She removed her charcoal suit top. "Liv," she sat down next to the detective, gently taking her hand, stroking her thumb over olive-toned skin, "what can I do to help? Tell me."
The detective looked over at her, her eyes brimming with tears, before leaning over and kissing her gently on the mouth, "Hold me?" She didn't mean for it to come out as a question, to come out with her sounding so fucking weak; she wanted for it to be a statement,but Alex knew what she meant. Alex always knew what she meant.
The attorney wrapped her arms around her, gently pulling her over top of her. She rotated her body so that she sat sideways on Alex's lap (letting Alex hold onto her) and gently rested her head in the crook of Alex's shoulder and neck, breathing in the attorney's perfume and a scent that was completely unique. And only then, safe in her lover's grasp, did she finally release all of her pent up anger and despair. Yes, she had cried when Lauren had killed herself, but this, this was different. Because she had to stop earlier, to rein in her emotions, but here, with Alex holding her, she could cry to her heart's content. And Alex would let her.
Alex tightened her grip, hearing the first of many sobs that would follow escape the detective's throat. Olivia's tears splashed against her skin, and she could feel her own tears streaking down her cheeks, beckoned by Olivia's pain. Olivia tried to control her breathing, to choke back her sobs, but Alex smiled through her tears at the detective's stubbornness, "It's okay, Liv. Just let it all out." That small allowance brought a fresh batch of sobs from the detective's throat.
When Olivia awoke, every muscle in her body ached. She was curled up in Alex's lap, her head still resting on the attorney's shoulder, tear streaks on her cheeks, her throat sore. Though she had no memory of falling asleep, she could understand her reasoning for doing so. Emotionally drained. Physically drained. Mentally drained. Any of those would fit. Moving carefully so she didn't wake Alex, she lifted her head to gaze at the blonde. Despite the fact that her hair was slightly askew and her glasses had slid down to the bridge of her nose, she saw no signs of discomfort. And for a moment she was comforted. Until she saw tear stains on the attorney's cheeks. She felt a wave of guilt overcome her. I should've stayed at the precinct last night. And the detective normally did. On the rare occasions that she didn't, she would wake in the middle of the night from a nightmare, inadvertently waking her lover. And then she'd shut down, telling Alex to go back to sleep, that she was fine. And though Alex listened, she knew the attorney was reluctant to do it. Alex wanted to help her, but she didn't want to burden the attorney. This wasn't the first time Alex held her while she cried herself to sleep, and it certainly wouldn't be the last, but this was the first time she had done so after such a case.
"Liv," Alex's voice brought her from her thoughts, and she gazed at the blue-eyed attorney.
"Did I wake you?" she asked, her voice quiet.
"No," the attorney answered, "What time is it?"
Olivia glanced at the clock by the TV, "Almost 3 in the morning," she paused for a moment, "Maybe you'd be more comfortable sleeping in our bed. I'll take the couch."
Alex smiled and stretched out on the couch, pulling Olivia overtop of her, "Not if you're not there, Olivia. I want to be here with you. We could stay out here and talk. Or sleep some more?"
Pressing a chaste kiss to the blonde's lips, she spoke, "I don't want you crying, Alex."
"I don't want you to be in pain, Liv. Whenever you hurt, I hurt. Share it with me, and we'll get through it together," The attorney responded when they finally broke apart. Olivia felt tears well up in her eyes again, and she blinked to make them leave. Alex placed a hand on her cheek, wiping away the ones that slipped out, "I love you, Olivia."
"I love you too, Alex," Olivia lowered her head, capturing the ADA's lips in a kiss.
The air shifted slightly, sexual tension filling the air. Olivia whimpered slightly, feeling Alex's mouth leave hers to trail down her jaw and chin, before returning to her mouth with force. Her moan was low in her throat as her tongue dueling with Alex's for dominance, before she finally relented. She felt Alex pull at the bottom of her outer shirt, and she followed her lead, moving for the buttons on the attorney's blouse. In a matter of minutes they were naked, sitting up on the couch, Olivia straddling her waist. Alex smiled as she ran her hands along the detective's sides, drawing another moan from her lover.
Olivia shifted enough to press down on her thigh, coating it with wetness, and the attorney couldn't stand the delicious feeling anymore. Grasping the detective's waist, she began to steadily rock the brunette's hips, kissing and nipping across Olivia's face and neck. Olivia grasped the attorney's shoulders, holding onto her as she allowed her pleasure to overtake her, allowing friction to guide her, gliding over her lover's warm skin. God, it just felt so good.
Alex smiled, her voice taking on a seductive, comforting purr, "That's right, Liv. Just like that. Let go for me, baby."
Despite her desire to let go, she didn't want to let go yet. Not like this. Her body still creating a steady beat against Alex's thigh, her hands slipping down to cup the attorney's breasts, she spoke, "Need more."
Her own desire flaring, Alex responded, "What do you need?" Olivia didn't need to respond audibly. One look in her desire-filled eyes told her everything she needed to know. But she had to hear it, "Tell me."
"Kiss me." I need to feel alive.
Alex claimed her mouth in a kiss that stole her breath away and had her grinding harder on the attorney's thigh. In a matter of moments, she saw stars, silently screaming out her orgasm into her lover's mouth. When she finally came back down, Alex was looking at her with a smile, her fingers trailing lazy shapes on her stomach, Alex's pale hand a stark but familiar difference on her olive-toned skin.
"You need to…" she began.
"It's okay," Alex interrupted, "That was just for you, Liv."
"But…"
"Shhh," Alex placed a finger on her lips, holding the brunette closer, and she wasn't surprised when Olivia cuddled closer, "It's okay. It'll all be okay." Everything will be okay. Don't worry about facing your problems alone because I'm never leaving again.
"Don't look for someone who will solve all your problems. Look for someone who won't let you face them alone."
Unknown
A/N: Bkwrmchar, I hope you liked this! Everyone else, I hope you liked this too. Please don't forget to review. More one-shots soon and hopefully will have another multi-chapter started soon.
Hime no Kowai Shumi