Excuse my spelling-if you vomit because of it, many apologies. :D

People forget that I'm 15.

I have to fight and protect and clean the blood off my sword. As if that wasn't hard enough by itself, I also have to worry about things that every other teenager has to worry about.

Are my grades good enough? Will my skin ever clear up? Why don't I have a girlfriend? Do I have BO? Would I look cool with a cigarette in my hand? Do girl's breasts really feel as soft as they look?

Then there are the other things I have to worry about.

For example:

Why the hell does kissing another guy feel this fuckingunbelievablygood?

And:

Wait, why the fuck am I doing this to begin with?

Also:

Shit, I honestly don't care!

His kiss is like fire and it feels so fucking good. The fire is hot, it boils my blood and makes me feel alive. He bites my lip and his grip around my waist tightens. I claw at his shirt, my hands finding their way under it to touch his abdomen. I simple touch him and feed off how good he feels beneath my finger tips. He growls against my cheek; his breath teasing my ear.

He pulls back and literally rips off (Ohh god!) his shirt. Then he comes in close again and his hands trace all over me; one disappearing under my top to caress my back and pull me in even more. Another dives into my trousers and gropes my ass, pulling our crotches closer together.

I intake a sharp breath and start to gasp and groan as he grinds against me.

I just stand there, propped up against his warm, hard body, slowly losing my mind.

There's a war outside.

And I sick to the back teeth of worrying about everyone else's problems. Do they not care that I have problems of my own? That I am 15 years old and have no experience at dealing with said problems? Can they not see that all I really want someone to just hug me as I sleep and kiss away the nightmares?

Do they not care that I am at a crucial time in my life? And what am I doing? Saving their asses, that's what I'm doing!

And no one stops to ask 'Hey Ichigo, how you doin'? Or 'You look like shit, here, have a hug.'

His arm pulls me in even tighter and I can feel everything; he can't possible hold me any closer as we kiss with fever. The hand on my ass digs into my cheek painfully, but it just makes me buck even harder against him.

But it isn't enough.

I don't mean to moan; I would seriously lay my life down for any of my friends who I have made on this great adventure, and they know this. The thing is, do they take it for granted? Why do they always assume I'm always going to be there? I mean, I am going to always be there for them, but do they have to rely on me so much? I don't know if I can take it!

I feel so lonely. Not physically, I am always surrounded by people. But very rarely are they my allies. No, I feel alone emotionally, like I have to bear this grief and this worry all by myself. That no one out there quite understand what I am trying to express. Of course it doesnt help im a bit of a social spazz; my skills of communication with other people are severely lacking in several aspects.

Grimmjow pulls away again and I groan at the loss of warmth and stimulation. But the very next thing I register is that my trousers are around my ankles. Then the cold air hits my cock and I realize how exposed I am. I feel myself stiffen but he straightens up and grabs my shoulders. Then he looks down and simply drinks in the sight of my erect phallus. Then he looks back at me and his teal eyes are hungry. I shiver at the sheer intensity of it.

Then he is slowly unbuckling his ornamental belt. He doesn't look away from my face but I can't look away from his crotch. I can see the bulge now, through his boxers. Then his boxers are gone and he is naked from the knees up.

I can feel the saliva clog up my throat as I look down at his very hard and very large cock. Slowly, and feeling like a bit of a moron, I reach forwards and grasp him in my hand.

There is a loud gasp and suddenly we are flat against each other. His hand enters the equation and I a rambling like mad man.

"Oh gods! Ohhhh fuck! Grimm...Grimm...fuck... fuckme!"

His hands are holding my up. His knee is between my thighs and his other hand is pumping us both at a steady pace.

"And when I do fuck you..." His lips on my ear. I know he's just talking dirty, but ohh god, I wish he'd really do that. "You'll come so hard it'll hurt. Then you'll beg me for more... you'll beg Ichigo... harder, faster... you'll scream and scream and I won't ever stop... until this..." His hand sneaks into my trousers again and slips between my cheeks "is wet and loose and you'll be so damaged no one will ever fuck you but me...no one... but me..."

My breathing, my heart, everything just stops as I feel the explosion deep in my loins. I open my mouth in a silent scream as Grimmjow's touch drives me insane and brings me to a throbbing whole body orgasm. Every single cell in my body quakes with pleasure. All that escapes my throat is a tiny sob but Grimmjow is right there with me. His body tenses and his head flops onto my shoulder as he gives a strangled moan.

Warmth spreas over my stomach as my own cock pulses one final time in Grimmjow's hand. His other hand is digging into my ass brusingly as he twitches and gaspes against my neck.

I don't know what i want people to do. I don't want them to stop relying on me and I don't want them to stop putting their faith in me. I'm just a bit fed up.

Grimmjow, still panting heavily, takes his come stained hand and brings it up to my chin, I'm to tired to cringe or tell him off for being a gross little tit. He takes my chin in his hand and kisses me. It's a chase kiss to the lips, nothing more.

And I realize this is what I want.

Ok, this is an attempt by me to try and explain the stupidity of puberty and how it leads to mood swings and behaviour we don't understand. Even now, at the grand old age of 17, I still get mad and throw things and when I try and express myself everything comes out exaggerated and complicated because I want someone to feel just a single ounce of confusion I feel. And I thought 'shit, if i was in ichigo's position, WDF would i do?' My answer was 'Moan a bit then have a good shag to clear things up!'

And no, I am not a psychiatrist.