Disclaimer: I own nothing. Seriously.
A/N: OK, this one shot takes place during Vanessa's pregnancy in TDS, because there wasn't really much mentioned about it. I figure she's about five months pregnant. Maybe a little more.
I just felt like writing, so if it sucks, I'm sorry.
And this is dedicated to my Mom, who had to eat all those Fritos, just for little old' me.
Enjoy:
An excited gasp penetrated Joe's dreams, but not enough to actually wake him up. This was the first time he'd got a decent sleep without something or the other waking him up.
Someone furiously shook his shoulder, and he swatted the hand away.
"Joe…" said the familiar voice of his wife, Vanessa. "Get up!"
"What is it?" he mumbled, not turning over.
"I know what I want to eat!" Vanessa exclaimed excitedly, shaking his shoulder again.
Lately, everything that Vanessa had been eating made her sick. She had tried everything possible, from pickles, to chocolate; to stuff that made Joe sick just thinking about it. Nothing had satisfied her stomach, or rather the baby's stomach.
"What do you want?" he sighed, sitting up. He had been making middle of the night snack runs almost lately, since they almost never had what Vanessa was hungry for.
"Fritos, Joe! I want Fritos!" Vanessa shrieked excitedly, slapping his leg for emphasis.
"Van, you hate Fritos," Joe mumbled, running a hand through his hair and getting up anyway.
"I know, Joe. I usually can't stand them. But I had a dream, and it suddenly came to me: Fritos!" Vanessa said. "And corn, but you probably can't get corn this late."
"They have canned corn at the corner store," Joe said, remembering how he had bumped into a whole shelf of it last night.
"Ew. No, I want regular corn. But we can get that tomorrow," Vanessa said, scrunching her nose. "The Fritos will do for now."
"Regular or barbeque?" Joe asked, pulling a shirt over his head.
"Both please," Vanessa grinned, happily kicking her legs under the blankets and leaning back. She rested her hands on her stomach. "Thank you, Joe."
Joe waved away the thanks, stumbling down the hall and shoving his feet into his sneakers. He grabbed his car keys and left the house, locking the door behind him. It was an especially humid night for June.
He shook his head, trying to clear the sleep out of his eyes, but he accidentally walked into the car, setting off the alarm, and most likely waking up every person in the neighborhood.
Joe frantically hit all the buttons on the remote, and the alarm finally quieted.
"Joe!" said a voice from above. He spun around and saw Vanessa leaning out the bedroom window. "That's like the fifth day in a row you've done that!"
"Sorry! Van, it's like one o'clock in the morning!" Joe apologized.
"Shut UP!" a neighbor yelled through a window. "And, please, when you come back in, DON'T SHINE YOUR LIGHT IN OUR WINDOW AGAIN!"
"Sorry!" Joe called back sheepishly, turning back to the car.
"Joe!" Vanessa hissed again.
"What?!" Joe moaned, looking over his shoulder.
"Could you also pick up some hot sauce?" Vanessa asked, giving him a sweet look.
"What for?" Joe asked tiredly, running a hand over his face.
"It would taste sooo good with lemonade!" Vanessa said dreamily.
"Fine," Joe said, getting into the car, trying to mask the disgusted look on his face.
Vanessa pulled her head back into the house, and shut the window.
Joe pulled out of the driveway with ease, going down a street by memory.
It barely took five minutes to get to the store, which was open 24/7. He parked his car and walked blearily through the door.
"Good morning, Joe!" said the cashier, Henry, cheerily. "Is Vanessa hungry?"
Joe grumbled a reply, walking through the store, picking up two bags of Frito's and a bottle of hot sauce.
He dropped them on the counter, and waited while Henry added up the total. Joe slapped a ten down on the counter, and held up a hand when Henry tried to give him the change.
"Are you sure, buddy?" Henry asked, jingling the change in his hand. "This could be put to good use tomorrow night…"
"I'll see you tomorrow, Henry," Joe said, grabbing the bag off the counter.
"Not if you're lucky!" Henry called out, and Joe could hear his laughter all the way to the car.
Joe sped the rest of the way home, no one would mind. He just wanted to get home and go to sleep.
Being careful not to shine the headlights into the neighbor's window, he pulled into his driveway, and unlocked the front door.
To his surprise, Vanessa was waiting for him with a guilty expression on her face.
Joe stopped dead.
"No!" he groaned, dropping the bag. "Van, not again!"
"No, not this time!" Vanessa said. "I didn't eat anything, I promise!"
"Then what is it?" Joe asked, giving her the bag.
"It's just…while you were gone…the baby kicked for the first time," Vanessa said, looking sad.
"What? Really?" Joe asked excitedly.
"Really," Vanessa said, the corner of her mouth trembling.
"Vanessa, what's wrong?" Joe asked, taking her hands.
"I'm sorry! You weren't there!" Vanessa said, a tear slipping down her face. "If I hadn't made you go out, you would have felt it!"
Joe let out a soft laugh, and shook his head.
"Vanessa, I'm pretty sure the baby will kick again," Joe said. "I'm positive I'll feel the baby kick at least once."
"But…" Vanessa stuttered.
"Van, it's fine," Joe said, giving her a quick kiss. Vanessa's expression visibly lifted.
"Good, because I am starving!" she exclaimed, taking the bag into the kitchen.
Joe laughed and followed her. She already had a handful of Fritos in her mouth and was noisily chomping on them.
"Want some?" Vanessa offered up the bag, but Joe declined.
"OK…oh, whoa!" Vanessa exclaimed through a mouthful of Fritos. "Joe! It's kicking again!"
Joe almost fell over his feet going over to her. He ginned as he felt fluttering under his fingers. "That is so cool!"
"Wow that feels so weird!" Vanessa said, swallowing. The kicking stopped, but they both kept goofy grins on their faces.
"I love you," Joe said suddenly.
"I love you, too," Vanessa said, a little surprised. She gave Joe a kiss, and he smiled.
"You taste like Fritos," he laughed, bouncing around.
"What are you doing? Do you have to go to the bathroom or something?" Vanessa giggled.
"No…I'm just excited," Joe explained, doing a little dance. "I don't think I can go back to sleep now."
"So what are you going to do?" Vanessa asked, taking another mouthful of Fritos.
"I think I'm going to run around the block,' Joe said, bouncing towards the front door.
"Well, bye!" Vanessa called, not at all fazed. "Love you!"
"Love you, too!" Joe exclaimed, closing the front door behind him.
Vanessa laughed to herself and placed a hand on her stomach.
"Your daddy is a goofball," she told it. "But that's why we love him."
A/N: Well? What do you think?