Disclaimer: Does not own Harry Potter do I.
"Well every one thinks that I'm the bad guy. Huh? Don't you? And its allo the fault of J.K. Rowling, I curse you, you pig! Well I'm here to tell you the real story of my time with Harry Potter.
"That night every one thinks I killed Harry's parents, I didn't, I went to they're house to offer them some cookies I had baked, they even had little hearts on them. I walked up to they're door with Lucius Malfoy, he's one of my cookie eaters, WHAT?!?! THEY THINK THAT MY COOKIE EATERS ARE CALLED WHAT?!?! I have a question for you why would you call them death eaters? Do they eat death? No. They bake cookies and eat them, and twice a year us and the muggle boy scouts, yes we volunteer at help a muggle foundation, go on a camp out! It's so much FUN! Oh I feel a song coming on!"
"F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for you and me, N is for anywhere any time at all, down here with my best buddies! Sing it with me! F is for frolicking down through the flower, U is I can't remember, N is nose pickin', sand lickin', cherry eatin', down with my best buddies! Oh I just love Spongebob!"
"Anyway Peter had told us were to go to give them cookies, we rang the doorbell. And James answered, we said we brought you some cookies, then James went mad, tried to kill his own son, ended up killing his wife, then I killed James and gave Hagrid Harry, NO ONE SEEMS TO REMEMBER THAT!"
"Anyway in chapter two of my Book, which you are now reading, we will touch on the book in titled Harry Potter and the Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone."