"Boscorelli, stay after. I need to talk to you for a minute. Everybody else may go," Lieu said, dismissing all my fellow officers from the briefing room. I sighed as I watched everyone leave, and I just stayed my seat. It wasn't unusual that my lieutenant had something to say to me, but I really couldn't think of anything I'd done wrong this time. Actually, I was trying to be good.

Still confused about what was going on, I looked up to where his desk was and he motioned me towards him. I walked quickly, not wanting to waste any time I could be out on the streets. I had just taken a two week vacation and was ready to get started again. "So, what'd I do this time?" I asked with a smile, trying to lighten up the situation.

But a grin did not come upon his face, instead he looked as solemn as ever. "Well, I was wondering if I could talk to you about your, uh…childhood," he said awkwardly, as though he knew it was a subject he should not bring up. The atmosphere of the room seemed to tense, and I too felt uncomfortable, as I always did when my past came up.

"Um, what about it?" I asked, praying he wouldn't bring up what I knew was coming.

"Well, your mother that I met, Rose, she's not your real mom is she?" he asked. I felt a knot in my stomach, that was the one place I did not want him to go.

"No," I mumbled.

"Your real mom, she lives in Connecticut with your father, Allen?" he said. Goosebumps rose on my arm as I heard him name. It was all I could do not to think about him at night, and feel the fear he always gave me, but to hear someone say his name out loud, for the first time in at least seven years, it was frightening.

I shrugged then answered, "I haven't talked to either of them in five years, so I don't know where they are."

"Oh, I see…" he said, looking disappointed and moving around all the papers on his desk, looking for one. Finally, he found it.

"In the last week, five boys from the ages 10-13 were kidnapped, tortured, and raped. After the kidnapper set them free, four of the boys had to be hospitalized for severe trauma and put into a mental hospital. The last of the boys, though, became better, and was able to describe the attacker, although he could remember very little due to injuries to the head. He described a white male, about 5'10, very muscular with balding brown hair, blue eyes, and said there was a scar above his right eye, cutting through is eyebrow. It would've been to hard to identify with just that, but he also remembers being in the dark for an hour or so, and then hearing a door creak open, and with the little light coming in he saw a woman, chubby, he said, with black hair and an Italian look and accent. She cried screamed the word "Allen!" then shut the door. He then heard the man coming running, screaming, "Helen! Get away!" And then that's all he could remember."

Lieu looked at me, and I stared away for awhile, thinking. Memories flooding back to me like never before, it was almost becoming hard for me to breath as I thought about my dad again.

I saw myself sitting in the dark, in a closet actually, and being scared for my life, scared of what he was going to do next. I remembered unbearable pain, and the shame I felt after being violated. I kept seeing the room underneath the garage, the one mom never knew about, with all his knives and anything else he could think of that could cause pain.

My legs began feelings weak, and my head became very light headed. I had to sit down for a second and breathe, trying to stop myself from throwing up. "Are you okay, Bosco?" he asked me, kneeling down beside me. I was doubled over, forcing the puke back down my throat. "I'm going to get help," he said, standing up and beginning to run out of the room.

"No, don't, I'm sorry, I'm okay," I said, saying anything I could think of. I didn't want help at the moment, and I felt the extreme urge to talk to him about my dad. I wanted someone to finally know what happened.

"Just take a minute," he told me. Taking deep breaths, I tried to keep my mind on other things, but it kept traveling back to my dad, to everything I worked so hard to forget. After I felt a little more calm, I sat up straight, and looked at Lieu, who had a very worried look on his face. "Feeling okay?"

I nodded, and he stood up straight, then told me, "I need you to tell me everything you can about your dad." Finally, my chance. I felt ready, and I never had whenever my new parents brought up my old family. But after hearing about the other boys I knew it was time.

"Well, when I was younger, he would…he would…" but I couldn't go on. The fear I felt kept coming back, and I remembered the shame.

"He would what?" Swersky asked in his most comforting voice, seeing the pained expression on my face and trying to make me feel better.

"He was just…mean," I finished.

"Just mean?" he asked, not hiding his disappointment. I nodded, then suddenly felt very thirsty.

"Can I go?" I asked, jumping up. He looked as though he was about to order me to stay, but something made him think better of it, so he nodded and then followed me out. Faith was sitting on one of the benches outside the room. As I walked by her, she began to stand up, and Lieu leaned in, whispering something in her ear. She nodded, and then he turned and walked away.

"So, what was that all about?" she asked, a very innocent look on her face.

"Oh, I think you know," I said bitterly.

"Okay, but I'm not supposed to tell you," she said, seeming a bit angry that she hadn't been able to fool me. But she was a terrible liar. There was silence all the way until we got into the squad car.

Once again, I was made to answer I question I didn't want to. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Faith, no one knows. Except Rose and Mike, but they don't even know why." There was silence for a little while longer, then I asked, "Do I have to talk?"

"I can't force you."

"I don't know how I can help those kids."

"I think you do." Silence again. She was right. Well, I didn't really know how, but if anyone could find my dad, it was me. And if anyone could prove he was guilty, it was me. But that was just too much, they didn't understand what I had been through, what I would be going through if I had to relive everything. I felt the tears swelling up in my eyes, and I hid them quickly. Somehow, I'd always known my past would come back to haunt me.

"I wasn't put up for adoption."

"You weren't?" Faith asked, surprised.

"No, I ran away," I said. It's not like that was the biggest thing, but at least it was a start.

"You going to tell me why?" she said bluntly. I just stayed quiet, and she sighed, taking it as a no.