The Truth - STELENA

Set in 5x07, when Elena makes her horrible speech to Stefan about her needing to he'll be okay. This is kind of how I would want the conversation to go after that.

Stefan's POV

"Look at me and tell me that killing Silas worked, that you'll be okay now." Stefan heard Elena say from behind him, begging him to answer her.

"Why is this so important to you?" Stefan turned to face her, trying his hardest to hold onto his composure in front of her.

"Because I know how much he stole from you" She said back to him. But she had no idea how much he had stolen away from him, and the most important thing wasn't stolen by Silas, but by his brother.

"Yeah, and he's dead." He said harshly back to her, and in this moment he remembered why he wanted to leave this town behind again, the night he got trapped in that safe.

"And because while you were suffering, in that safe, grasping onto hope, fighting ever second, so that you wouldn't lose your humanity, I was happy. I got everything that I wanted Stefan. I got to be in love, I got the summer of my dreams, I got Bonnie back. So, I need to know that this worked. I need to know that it's going to take away all of your suffering. I need to know that you're going to be okay..." Elena told him. She was always trying to fix things, that part of her hadn't changed, but she was no longer the same person Stefan had in his mind, the woman he loved.

"I wanted it to be you, when that safe finally opened and somebody found me. I wanted it to be you..."

Stefan was always honest with Elena, why should change now, even though everything else had changed. Hearing her speech was meant to make him feel better but he only felt worse. She got to be in love, with Damon... Like he had never happened to her. Like all their memories and moments together had never been love. "When will my suffering end...?" He thought to himself.

"Stefan, I ... I'm so sorry. I know saying that a million times won't fix anything or change what happened but I am so sorry!" Elena begged him to understand, and all he could do was stare at her like she was a stranger. He didn't know this version of her, he didn't want to.

"Don't Elena. I don't want you to hear your "I'm sorry's" when you just gave me a whole speech about how you got everything you wanted. Everything got taken away from me long before Silas was in the picture." He said back to her. He was sick of this. Sick of everyone apologizing when they didn't really mean it and just felt guilty.

"You know what you're feeling right now Elena? It's called guilt. Guilt that you spent the whole summer being in love with my brother while I died over and over again and you didn't even notice I was gone. You loved me once, so you said, but this new you, this version of you, makes it like we never were. Maybe, you just really just don't care that I was gone, but you think you have to care. I loved you Elena, I still do. But I don't love this you. This isn't who you are. And no matter how many times you tell yourself that you becoming a vampire changed you, it's not true. It heightens who you are; it doesn't change your whole personality. And when you finally realize that, the person you've become, it's Damon; and you'll have no one to blame but yourself." Stefan finally let out to her. He needed to get it off his chest, even though he knew it would hurt her. She needed this. She may not see it now but he was certain she would thank him for it in the end.

He could see Elena was completely stunned. Here in the middle of the woods, in the dark, having this conversation. He couldn't even imagine what she must be thinking, what she is going to make of all this, of him.

"Is that really what you think Stefan...?" Elena eventually asked him. He could see tears starting to form in her eyes and he felt terrible for causing them but it was the truth. He was going to say something back to her when she beat him to it.

"You think that I don't remember loving you, or being in love with you Stefan? It's on my mind more than I'd ever like to admit to myself. Trying to get you to remember who you were may have made you fall in love with me again but I never stopped loving you. I love Damon, but I love you too. I know that's not what you want to hear, and it's not what I want to tell you but it's the truth. Until I figure out who I am as a vampire, and until I find myself, I can't be with you Stefan. I don't deserve to." Tears were running down her soft, rose colored cheeks.

His heart was breaking all over again. Their future wasn't supposed to be this... It was supposed to be happy, loving, and mind blowingly amazing. Not full of regret and painfully hurting each other over and over.

"Maybe we need to not see each other for awhile... Live our own lives, separately. You with Damon and me... Well me not here." Stefan tried to sound convincing, for the both of them.

"I don't want to lose you Stefan. I never ever meant to hurt you like this. Maybe one day we'll find our way back to each other. I hope for that..." Elena whispered to him, stepping closer to him.

"I hope so too. Just be happy Elena. That's what I want for you; it's all I've ever wanted for you." Stefan said back to her. He was aware she was moving closer to him, and it made him just want to pull her into his arms and kiss her like he was use to, but he couldn't.

He felt her come into his personal space, and it felt like she was always meant to be a part of him. She looked up at him, and he met her beautiful eyes, bearing both their souls to one another. This was right, this was home for both of them, but they needed to mend their broken selves before they could move forward together; and that's exactly what they were going to do, because they wanted, more than anything, to be with each other again, to feel real love again.

It was a real struggle to get through this story, and though I'm not completely happy with it and how I ended it, I just needed to get it done. Please as always, R&R!