Disclaimer: I don't own them, I didn't create them, and I don't profit from them, however, I do enjoy a good candy bar from time to time.
Author's Note: This is a completely random idea that popped into my head and cried out to be put down for you to read, so enjoy, I hope it satisfies.
Sara Sidle quirked an eyebrow in the direction of her coworker Nick Stokes, "This is weird even by Las Vegas standards." It certainly was strange, they had been called out to work a 419 at M&M World out on the Strip and according to what Brass had been able to gather before they'd arrived to process the scene the vic had been shouting something incoherent about this being the end of Snickers before the sound of gunfire could be heard; odd because the company that made Snickers also made M&Ms.
"You can say that again," Nick studied the position of their victim; the fact that he didn't have a gun in his hand clearly indicated that he'd been murdered, but by whom and why? Just being a nut case in the middle of a candy store wasn't enough of a motive unless the killer either had something against nuts, nougat, and caramel wrapped up in chocolate. After all this was M&M World, not Snickers World.
Sara carefully stepped around the body, she wasn't about to touch it until the coroner arrived, "Does he look a little strange to you?" There were splotches of something gooey on his cheek that clearly didn't come from being shot, however, the man's hands appeared to be clean so it wasn't readily apparent how it had gotten there.
"Brass did say he was yelling something about Snickers so maybe he was eating one?" Nick agreed that the body seemed to be angled oddly, almost as if it had been posed to send a message to someone.
Super Dave finally arrived to take the liver temp and estimate TOD; which seemed to coincide with when witnesses recalled hearing gunfire in the corner of the fourth floor of M&M World. He found the vic's wallet and handed it over to Nick and then began preparing to remove the body.
Nick's brow was furrowed, "Ok, this has just officially taken on a whole new level of weirdness." He offered Sara the wallet as if he didn't quite believe his own eyes.
"You have got to be kidding," Sara clearly didn't believe her own eyes either, "S. Nick Kerrs?" She had to resist letting out a chuckle as she handed the wallet back to Nick, "So apparently he took the candy bar a little more serious than your average snacker might."
"I guess so," Nick tried to concentrate on the case, but he was feeling oddly hungry as Super Dave left with the body and he began to pick up wrappers from Snickers bars that they assumed had been consumed by the vic since they had been underneath his body; the autopsy would either confirm or refute this, but for now they really had very little to go on besides that.
Sara began processing the perimeter of the room and about halfway across she stopped and remarked to Nick, "You know I'm beginning to wonder if there was more than one shooter." She had at least a dozen pads that tested positive for GSR.
Nick glanced up from where he was working the area around where the body had been, "Why's that?" If they were dealing with multiple shooters their job had just gotten that much more complicated.
"Well with the amount of GSR I'm finding it was either several guns being fired or the GSR came from a cannon," Sara pursed her lips as she considered how difficult it could be to smuggle a cannon into a tourist attraction like M&M World without being noticed; a cannon would be as obvious as having an anvil dropped on your head.
"So let's assume we're dealing with multiple shooters here," It occurred to Nick that maybe the M&Ms themselves had something to do with it, maybe they were jealous of the nougaty goodness mixed with caramel, peanuts and chocolate; two more ingredients than the Peanut M&Ms themselves contained. As such a ridiculous thought went through his mind, he began to wonder if he was working too many hours and needed some time off.
They both silently processed the rest of the room while Brass continued to interview people that had heard the gunfire and employees that might have been in the vicinity during the shooting. As the two CSIs gathered up their gear, Brass arrived with a sardonic smirk on his face that was clearly trying not to become an amused smile, "Got a confession; three actually and you're never gonna believe who dunnit."
Nick quirked an eyebrow and didn't dare say what had been on his mind.
Sara looked at Brass expectantly, "Well why don't you tell us."
"Green, Red, and Yellow," Brass let out a snorfle and didn't even try and hold it back for a moment as Nick and Sara just looked at him in confusion, "Ok, so not the colors, the M&Ms were the shooters."
Nick looked stricken as if maybe Brass had either read his mind or this was all some weird dream, "Candy killed him?" He wondered if the grumbling in his stomach that was longing for a Snickers bar was something else entirely, like the aftereffects of eating some really, really good chili for example.
Sara just stood there a little speechless; she had no idea what Brass was talking about. How in the hell could candy kill, especially little chocolate candies unless the vic had a peanut allergy, which still wouldn't explain the multiple gunshot wounds the vic had sustained, "What?"
"Ok, so not real M&Ms, just the people that dress up as them and wander around M&M World, apparently our vic came in here regularly harassing them about being the wrong kind of candy and they'd finally had enough," Brass was far too amused at the irony of it all.
"So death by chocolate then," Sara concluded; she was definitely going to need a vacation after a case like this, or maybe she was just going to call Grissom up on his sabbatical and break up with him for leaving her here with all these nutty people committing crimes; nutty chocolate people with a hard candy shell. There were plenty of people that she could date that wouldn't run to the other side of the country under the guise of a sabbatical, maybe even Nick; she'd always found him attractive, that would teach Grissom for leaving her for four weeks that had turned into eight.
"Well I suppose there are worse ways to go," Nick commented, refraining from taking another stab at a chocolate oriented pun, "Uh, we should probably get this stuff back to the lab."
"And I'll be escorting our three suspects over to PD, lovely that they're dressed for the occasion," Brass had clearly not had a case this fun in some time; if he had to investigate murder at least he had a full confession, and since the three were still in costume, it might just amuse the rest of the officers over at PD.
As Nick and Sara carried bags of evidence out to the department issued Denali, Sara started to giggle, "They killed him for being a little overzealous about a candy bar." Truly she shouldn't be laughing about the tragedy that had befallen their vic, but who could blame her; the poor man had been unfortunate enough to be named after a candy bar that he had then become obsessed with. But shouldn't he know not to mess with the chocolate that melts in your mouth and not in your hands?
Nick chortled; both of them laughing hysterically as they loaded the evidence into the rig and then crawled in themselves, still laughing. By the time they'd logged the evidence and watched the interrogations, the mere thought of a Snickers bar or candy of any kind for that matter sent them into hysterics. They finally decided to get some coffee and as they sat in the break room sipping some of Greg's special blend and trying to compose themselves into the capable professionals that they were.
The laughter had subsided and the coffee seemed to be doing its trick when Greg sauntered into the break room with a bag of something in hand, as he settled himself at the table he slid the bag to the center and smiled at Nick and Sara, "You want a bite sized Snickers? You know what they say, they really satisfy." To emphasize his point he popped one into his mouth and grinned.
It was quite a while after that before Greg could get any sort of coherent answer out of either of his coworkers as they dissolved into laughter once again.
The End