Good Enough
Summary: Wolfram thinks of how he stands in Yuri's life. One-sided Yuuram
Disclaimers: KKM is not mine and 'Good Enough' is by Evanescence. So don't sue! Salamat!
One-shot
Under your spell again
I can't say no to you
Crave my heart and its bleeding in your hand
I can't say no to you
Wolfram sighed as he looked longingly out the window of his room. Yes, you heard right, his room. He watched as Yuri, his fiancée play catch with Conrad, Wolfram's older brother.
Wolfram really couldn't hide his disgust at the scene. But the disgust wasn't towards the two, no, it was towards himself. He saw Yuri expressions when he came into the same vicinity. It was more of a 'great not again' look instead of a 'I'm happy to see you' look. Wolfram wasn't blind. He knew that Yuri didn't want him hanging around. Yuri was most likely afraid that he would blow up again and throw Yuri some hurling accusation.
Wolfram couldn't help it. He hoped Yuri would've understood at least by now why Wolfram was like this. Why his attitude was very possessive. He had fallen in love with the Maou. He didn't want to lose Yuri. But he knew that if he continued to be like this he would lose Yuri anyway.
Thinking about it, he would've lost Yuri anyway. The Maou was very closed minded. Yuri didn't notice his hurt looks at being rejected. And Wolfram knew that it was hopeless, yet that hope still stood from deep within him.
Shouldn't have let you torture me so sweetly
Now I can't let go of this dream
I can't breathe but I feel
Good enough
I feel good enough for you
So Wolfram always stood by Yuri's side. He was there to protect the Maou as his duty commanded of him. Even if Yuri didn't notice that he was the one to save him and go to Conrad instead. It was foolish, yes, but one who has been in love would realize what he was doing. Even if it was foolish, he still had a bit of hope.
But it still hurt.
Drink up sweet decadence
I can't say no to you
And I've completely lost myself
And I don't mind
I can't say no to you
It hurt when he was rejected. It hurt when Yuri would rather go with his brother than him. And it especially hurt that Yuri didn't break off the engagement sooner. Then maybe he wouldn't feel like this. Maybe he wouldn't be wallowing in his despair in his room pinning over something that he knew could probably never be.
Yuri only tolerated his presence because he didn't want to hurt him. Even though, Yuri was hurting him far worse than tolerating him. As much as he would want to tell Yuri to stop it, he just couldn't. As long as he paid attention to him, it was okay. Even if in the end it hurt him, he could still go on living and hoping as long as Yuri knew he was there.
Shouldn't have let you
Conquer me completely
Now I can't let go of this dream
Can't believe I feel
Good enough
I feel good enough
Its been such a long time coming,
But I feel good
He was good enough. He had exceptional skills as those of the greatest soldier in Shin Makoku. After all he was trained by Conrad Weller himself. Even if he didn't like it. He had fire maijitsu to help defend. Fire is a powerful element.
But still, it wasn't good enough to even earn Yuri's attention as that of a fiancée. He was treated the same as everyone else. It seemed Yuri noticed his love for him but it was cruel to ignore it.
He sighed, taking one last glance out the window on the courtyard. His emerald green eyes almost welled with tears but he held it back. He then walked out of his room to face a breakfast encounter.
Wolfram wondered if anyone noticed that he had been skipping meals or better yet, if Yuri noticed he had been skipping meals. He hoped that he could at least eat. He didn't feel that hungry. Maybe he should skip meals again today and eat a little something when everyone was busy.
With a heavy heart, he went to the stables and took out his horse for a ride.
-X-
It was silent at the dining table. Everyone seemed to be in an apathetic mood. Of course they did notice that one blonde that was absent from the table, especially Yuri. It wasn't for the fact that Wolfram was in danger, no, he knew the blond could take care of himself. It was the fact that Wolfram would probably yell at him later and start a fight because he did something wrong again.
"Where's Wolfram?" Yuri asked.
"He had breakfast earlier. He just went out to ride," Sangria answered. "He told me to tell you guys should one of you ask."
The maids looked at each other nervously. They couldn't disobey him. With that they all ate, thinking nothing of it.
And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall
Pour real life down on me
Cause I can't hold on to anything this good
Enough
Am I good enough
For you to love me too?
Wolfram gazed at the running river. He sighed dejectedly. He was a bit hungry but he didn't really want to eat. He reflected again on his miserable life. Picking up a rock, he threw it in the river watching it bounce a bit before falling into the rushing water. As if the horse sensed his distress, the horse nudged him gently on the shoulder as if asking 'what's wrong?'. Wolfram just petted the horse in a comforting matter. He didn't want to voice his problems out loud in case someone in the vicinity, whether it'd be Conrad, Yosak, or even Yuri, could over hear him.
He didn't want Yuri to pity him because they were 'best friends'. He really hated that thought.
He'd do anything for the Maou, risk his life for the Maou, but it seems to be all in vain. If he had died right now, he didn't think anyone would notice until probably later. But then, he wouldn't be able to do his duties anymore. Would Yuri be relieved? Wolfram wouldn't be hanging around him anymore. As a matter of fact, Wolfram had stopped hanging around so much. Wolfram did it of his own violation because his heart hurt less.
Wolfram stood up on a rock. His arms were outstretched as if ready to jump. He calmly gazed at the sky and then to the rushing river. The river was enough to kill him. He knew that. He had always thought of taking the easy way out but never got around to it. Maybe he could go through with it. He took hesitant steps.
But he didn't jump into the water.
He stepped off the rock.
With a heavy heart, he took his horse by the reigns and walked back to the castle.
Knowing he couldn't leave.
So take care what you ask of me
Cause I can't say no
OWARI!
BLK Angel of Destruction: Well there's the fic! Its an apology for my writer's block. I'm just trying to think of other things to write for all my other stories. I'm trying so plz bear with me. Anyways, hope you liked!
Review! No Flames! C+C accepted!